we named the breastest movies of the beastest of the 2016
and now, for the only awards that matter…
Thirstweenth Anal Thighs Wide Movie Awards
Crap To The Future Award For Würstest Acting of The Year Award!!!
he somehow molded his character and acting style based on the ‘I think he stole his wallet‘ guy from Back To The Future II – Lester! WTF???
The 7th Annual Greta Grrr Wig Recipient of The OK, You Are Not An Actress And Should Stop Pretending To Be One So Please Stop Being An Actress Now Award
The OK, That Awkward Tuna-Salad Lips, Keeping Your Head Down, and Then Picking Your Head Up Thing That You Do In Every Movie Muss Be Stopped Forever Award
no seriously, stop it with those dumb lips of yours
and that face thing you do
The Samuel L Jackson
Never Met A Script
He Didn’t Like
Man of The Year
who had EIGHT flix released in 2016!!
Gifs of the Gawds
folding buildings in Doctor Strange!
(better than anything Chis Nolan can do!)
Hairing Is Caring
Aaron Eckhart and his partially Ruffalo-Foxcatchered shaved forehead in Bleed For This!
runner up – his and Hank’s Sully staches!!!
Bob’s Big Girls
The 2016 Bobbies!
The KFC Finger Stickin’ Goodness Goodie Three Shoes Award
aka – these ladies be DAMN fine award!!
I bleed for Christine Evangelista
and you would too if you saw her in NSFW action
the b-witch-ing Anya Taylor-Joy
the nottiest nottie of the year
whatever the fcuk this alien is. WTF ARE YOU ???
them crazy fat crazy naked chicks in Nocturnal Animals that you should be happy I don’t have gifs for (yet)
Eyes Wide Open For Bidness 9ever
aka Bestest Eyes
in Hacksaw Jim Duggan
runner up – Natasha Bassett
in Fail Caesar!
The Nosey Nose That Knowse Bestest!
aka Bestest Nose!
in Me Before You
Würstest Date Movie/Snoozefest
Best Boys On The Side Players
THIS GUY in Love & Friendship
THIS GUY who was a Star Wars extra
and tells his tales in the great Elstree 1976
Songs That Execute Better Than Norman Mailer Does As Norman Bates
OMG – that La La Land soundtrack
‘Sabotage’ in Star Trek (which seemed so wrong in the trailer, but was so right in the movie!)
Trailers Worth Tractoring
Poster Her! Poster We! Poster Haste!
Unintentional Porn To Be Wild Titles
Max Steel / Pete’s Dragon / Bad Moms / Midnight Special / Everybody Wants Some!! / No Pay, Nudity / The BFG
Bestest Names Award
Don’t You Forget About Me/These Forgetmenot Bon Mots
Martin Short’s wedding coordinator character from Father of The Bride – Franck – IS BASED OFF OF A REAL HUMAN BEING!!!
when New York City’s in trouble – who you gonna call? Pat Kiernan!!!!!!!!!!!!!
woah – Officer Debbie Callahan (Leslie Easterbrook) from Police Academy sang the National Anthem at Super Bowl XVII!!!
Movies To Look For In The ‘017
Bossk To The Future – A Star Wars Story
Wild Breasts & Where To Find Them
The Detergent Series: PureX
Some Marvel Super Hero Movie
I Could Give 2 Fcuks About
Hacksaw Jim Duggan’s Ridge
Bridget Jones’s Farts
Billy Lynn’s Short 20-Second Timeout Walk
16 Fast, 16 Furious
how are you still reading this? and how are you still a fan of this website?? WHO ARE YOU??!??!
until next thyme the balcony is clothed…