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10 Years A Thigh Master

it started with this*

post 1

*site didn’t look exactly like that on day 1, but it’s close!

 

and it ended with….

well, it hasn’t ended.  hasn’t it not is no?

you still here?

am I still here?

why are we all still here?

damn.  I knew I should have sold this site to Lycos back in 2005

anywho, here’s to 10 years of gawdknows what

 

one year old and still no pubes!
Year One 

 

u know how i feel about the side boob

first ever full movie review

two of my favorite things: Nap Pole and my Roscoe's tee

I hear there’s rumors on the internets

alba butt

faces only pugsly could love 

numanuma

they call me Ty, as in Cobb

does it get any better than this?

mischa, let me be your atreyu and ride you all night long

no sax before a fight

all women love facial hair.  if they say they don’t, they're lying and their vaginas are mad hairy

that's just not right 

 

cuthbest side

 

 

Year Two

 

http://thighswideshut.org/images/gifs/handdryer.gif

http://thighswideshut.org/images/dakota/dakotascreamopen.jpg

yourethemannowdog / niggastolemybike / dosstolemybike / whatiscosby 

juss in case u didnt hear it the first 13 times, i am so fucking into u 

The latest 50 images posted to Live Journal

ha, it sez porn on the cob 

 

 

alba

http://thighswideshut.org/images/mischa/mischacannedance.jpg 

http://thighswideshut.org/images/banner/banner1009.jpg 

 

http://thighswideshut.org/images/photoshop/ted_koppel_feel.jpg

 

 

 

Year 3

 

 

 

 

Wonder Faps

 

 

 

Year 4

 

Let It Cosby

 

1.21 Gigawatts (Redux)

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

Year 5

 

 



 

 


 

 

 

 

Year 6

 

 

 

 

Year 7

 

 

 

 

 

Plinkett’s Star Warsrapes/reviews

 

 

 

 

Year 8

INTERNET K-HOLE

 


 

 

 

Year 9

Merchandising Is Forever

lena3

THIGHS WIDE SHIRTS!!!!

 

 

 

 

WB-Logo-4 

 

 

Year 10

Jerry Colonna

Emile Vrijman

ZZcar-rev 

ash moscow 

Limitless Paper In A Paperless World

btown_macbrown

grammy eats

tb huddle

future stairs

me utz

client list pies

rod_ed_blatchford

onion nuggets 2 

The-Fall

carrie ocean 

JFGay-edit 

lego spaceman

Malick-Profile-3Malick-Profile-2

gold arms

frozen-g-bAB 

jonestown bullet 4

 

WTC DANCE

the two keiths

naked_grandma_feud

me and my honey

McDolands-1978-b

Tyler-Clippard

spacecamp pyramid

franco-so-good-edit2

if you got this far, bless you, and thank you.  you ship of reader means the world to me

 

and thanks to Popeyes, Zodiac, Zardoz, Andy Rooney, Kubrick, Hitchcock, CBS Sunday Morning, Star Wars, Saul Bass, gifs, boobs, gifs of Meg White’s boobs, the kid, Becker, Wonderyak, My Man Marvkus and his face, Lily Allen, Grambo, Peabs, Golden Fiddler, Grahamorama, Ms Modern Age, ProductshopNYC, Ultragrrrrl, Brooklyn Vegan, Justin Don’t Link This, the original Egotastic, Skeet on Mischa, Pinky Trent, WizzNutzz, DC Sports Bog, Tom Welling(ton): WORLD’S GREATEST ACTOR, Kid Kadoji, Spakula, Jewanicure, Nipsy Newbsy, Joe E Tata, BJNewms, The Thinker, my parents, my family, my Sara, and everyone with mustaches round this good world.  stay 4 real, 5 reals, 9 reals

HERE’S TO THE NEXT THOUSANDS YEARS OF THIGHS WIDE SHUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4 Comments

The 2013 Thighsmans

we pricked the breastest movies of the beastest of the 2013

and now, for the only awards that matter…

Judi Den10th Anal Thighs Wide Movie Awards

aka

THE THIGHSMANS!!!

_

 

The Death To Smoochy Würstest Picture AND The Gus van Sant Most Pretentious Pig Sh!t Film of the Year!!!!!

upstream-color-sucks

Upstream Color

dishonrable mentions for these movies for also sucking a$$ and making me really angry that they eggist

This Is The End & Don Jon & The Book Thief & The Bling Ring & Gangster Squad & I’m So Excited & Katsnooze II

_

 

Batsh!ttiest Un-Sh!tty Crazy/Beautiful Performances of The Year

leo and cate

Leo & Cate

in Wolf & Jasmine

_

 

The 4th Annual Greta Grrr Wig Recipient of The OK This Joke/Career Muss Be Stopped Now Award

jay-barachel-wig

Jay Baruchel

we get it, you’re scrawny, Canadian and have a dumb voice.  now go away and take Seth Rogen with you

_

 

Always Bet On These Lil Shirley Temple Black (& White) Children

joey king droog2

 / Joey King

and the würst

Nico Liersch

_

 

The Samuel L Jackson Never Met A Script He Didn’t Like Guy of The Year

 samuel l jackson james franco

James Franco

who had 8+ flix released in 2013!!

_

 

Gifs of the Gawds

growl

Wolf-Leo-Dance-c

Alice Eve Trek

look-at-me

Franco-Spring2

Penn-Finger

 

_

 

Hairing Is Caring

cumberassange

Cumberbatch’s Assange hair

tied for 2nd – everyone’s Hustle hair

tied for 3rd – the MUST-staches of Dallas Buyers Club

_

 

Würstest Date Movie of 2013

12 years a gif

12 years a gif2

12 Years A Snooze

alternatively

würstest Dates IN a movie

any of the ones involving humans in Her

_

 

Bob’s Big Girls – The Bobbies!

bobbies gatsby

anything & everything in Gatsby +8 other winners!

_

 

The KFC Finger Stickin’ Goodness Goodie Three Shoes Award

hudgens lick

anything Vanessa Hudgens is doing in Spring Breakers

Margot Robbie makes us howl in Wolf [NSFW]

anything in Blue Is The Warmest Color (although we didn’t see it) [NSFW]

Lindsay Lohan’s cannons in The Canyons [NSFW]

Rosario Dawson puts us in a JO Trance [NSFW]

the revealing photos of Bettie Page in Bettie Page Reveals All [NSFW]

Leo’s butt candle

and the leastest…

her and his in the dark orgasms in Her

+

the sexification of Amy Adams in Hustle

amy adams boobs hustle

juss stop it.  she’s too nice to be sexy

_

 

Mish-Mash-Up of The Year

Oz Breakers by ME!!!

_

 

Eyes Wide Open For Bidness 9ever

aka Bestest Eyes

Justine Lupe!!!!

 in Frances Ha

runner-up – Blanca Suárez

_

 

Most Ablixaiest Ablixa

ablixa zeta

Ablixa in Side Effects

_

 

Face Timeless

Emile Vrijman

Dutch lawyer Emile Vrijman‘s face

seen in The Armstrong Lie

 _

 

Josh Baskin’ In These Sunny Miscellaneous Missile Missives That Are Da Bomb Shiz!

ash moscow

the only bitched @ swirth that matters!!!!!!!

AMC’s POOFY COMFY LEATHER RECLINING CHAIRS AT THE MOVIES!!!!!! 

the Her his line

the VFX of Gatsby

 Kellan Lutz IS orc Bolg

JD Salinger’s son was in Revenge of The Nerds!

David Cross has played both Allen Ginsburg AND his father

THOSE CRAZY SEXY COOL NASA’S SPACE COLONY ART THINGS FROM THE 1970S COME TO LIFE IN the so-so Elysium!!!

the awesomeness that is SpaceCamp!

leaf jinx

the Death Star’s laser control room still exists!!!

Matt Zoller Seitz became like the new Jesus and we still have zero idea who he is

1933 was an incredible year for movies

that picture of Terrence Malick

this picture of Terrence Malick

the cameos of Harmony Korine

Picnic at Hanging Rock is crazed!!!!!

Danny Lloyd Torrance Lives!!!

Batman (1989)’s Flugelheim Museum

+

we still gay for JFGay

JFGay-edit

_

 

Songs That Execute Butter Than Norman Mailer’s Bong & Chong

mailer and chong

‘Ordinary Love’ from the Mandela movie

Mayssa Karaa’s arabic rendtion of ‘White Rabbit’

‘Scary Monsters And Nice Sprites’ by Skrillex in Spring Breakers

Mike Patton’s haunting piano in Pines

&

the abso abso abso lute würstest be…

‘The Blue Umbrella Suite’ featuring Sarah Jaffe

_

 

Trailers Worth Tractoring

(in endless memory of Robert ‘Tractor’ Traylor)

 tractor-trailor

_

 

Poster Her! Poster We! Poster Haste!

Posters-2013 

+ 

 the würst

& the würrstetst

& twinsies würsteresteserteestsers!!!

_

Unintentional Porn To Be Wild Titles

inside llewyn davis

A Good Day to Die HardThe PurgeMy Little Pony: Equestria GirlsThe To Do ListThe CanyonsJobsInside Llewyn DavisOut of the Furnace

_

 

Fenella Woolgar Bestest Names Award

fenella

June Squibb / Raphaël Personnaz / Topsy Chapman

_

 

Movies To Look For In The ‘014

WWZZTop

World War ZZ Topps

The Haunting in Connecticut 3: Ghosts of Miami of Ohio

The Even Greater Gatsby

Othello (based off of the board game)

Korben Dallas Buyers Club

13 Years A Slave

13 Fast, 13 Furious

_

 

In Memoriam

shirley temple spells

Temple of the Smile

+

O’Toole & Fontaine & Phil Sey Mo & Ramis & Sid & Paul Walker & Mrs Peacock & Dennis F%&king Farina & The Albino from P-Bride & Gandolfini & stop motion sick-ness & Ebert

&

Mr LittleJeans / Pagoda

pagoda

_

 

don’t forget to peep out our ’12, ’11’10’09’08’07’06’05’04’03, and ’02 awards!! 

if you got this far, pat yourself on the back, then yer balls

until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

1 Comment

Thighs Wide Movies 2013

Thighs-Wide-Movies-2013-c

2013 was a pretty weak year for movies, but life outside of the theater trumped life inside of it (I met the love of my life! and it’s a woman!  so I’m not gay!).  anywho, some movies were still better than garbage, and they is…

 

The Thirsteen Thirteen

 

1) Room 237

scatman calumet tang 237

Shining on some crazy diamonds who put more thought into thinking about the Shining than anyone ever needed.  But once you hear these batshit crazy theories, you cannot unhear these batshit crazy theories, and you may juss go batshit crazy yoself

-

2) The Wolf of Wall Street

wold of wall street

It’s like Goodfellas and Casino‘s younger, hipper brother

-

3) Her

her

Spike Jonze’ love story digitally penetrates!!

-

3) Captain Phillips

captain phillips

Taking hostages on screen AND off!!

-

4) All Is Lost

all is lost

A better silent movie than The Artist

-

5) The Great Gatsby

great gatsby

A little party never killed nobody

-

6) The Hunt

the hunt

Mads for Mads Mikkelsen

-

7) The Stories We Tell

stories_we_tell

Do Tell

-

8) Salinger

salinger

Trashy tabloid junk… that I couldn’t get enough of.  But what about the ‘pee in a jar’ rumors???

9) My Father and The Man In Black

black saul

Cash-ed & carry-on, for the wayward son

-

10) Spring Breakers

spring popsicles

more of a feeling than a movie, and a dirty one at that, but it inspired us to actually do something with video on the internets!! 

11) Short Term 12

short term 12

All Brie, no cheese 

-

12) Cutie and The Boxer

CutieandtheBoxer

Starving for attention artists in residence

-

13) Our Nixon

our nixon

Nixon bindess with pleasure! 

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and now for the…

Honor Blackmanable Mentions

blacman gun

42
The Armstrong Lie
Bettie Page Reveals All
Blue Caprice
Blue Jasmine
Dallas Buyers Club
Enough Said
Fill The Void
Frances Ha
Mandela Long Walk To Freedom
Nebraska
The Past
(first 1/3 of) Place Beyond The Pines
The Reluctant Fundamentalist
Rush
Saving Mr Banks
The Source Family
The Spectacular Now

wanna second opinion?  future Mrs Thigh Master weighs in!  

(poor girl saw more movies in a theater this past year than probably ever!!!)

Best Movies 

5. Short Term 12

4. The Wolf of Wall Street

3. Dallas Buyers Club

2. Captain Phillips

1. Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom

Runner up -

Fill the Void (Lemale et ha’halalrs)  

‘Best’ [meaning WURST] Movies  

5. Inside Llewyn Davis

4. The Book Thief

3. Don Jon

2. Upstream Color

1. I’m So Excited (Los amantes pasajeros)

Runner up -

The Sapphires

-

our annual anal movie awards – The Thighsmans – drops the week of the Oscars 

until then, here’s the bestest films of yesterhere

2012
2011
2010
2009
2008
2007
2006
2005
2004
2003
& 2002

3 Comments

This Is List – 2014

you know the drill – The Washington Post does it, we does its three, better or worser or perhaps even worse.  anywho, 2014 is so gonna be our year

 

OUT

IN

selfies
Selfies
-
shelfies
Shelfies
-
Room 237
-
Room 238
-
Harlem Shake
-
Bronx Malt
-
Despising Ben Affleck
-
Despising Ben Affleck
-
1 eight boobs
1/8th Visible Boobs
 
-
wonder woman
3/8th Visible Boobs
in an invisible plane
-
Cronuts
-
Bronuts
-
Pleaves
-
Plaves
-
Kate Upton’s body
-
Fred Upton’s body of work
-

David Keith
-

Keith David
-
The Desolation
of Smaug
-
The Domination
of Zog
-
Yeezus
-
Knowses
-
Mayor Bloomberg
-
Mayor McCheese
-
Edward Snowden
-
Snowed Inn Bed & Breakfast
-
 palin
Sarah Palin
-
 palan
Sara Palan
-
Blockbuster Video
-
Cartrivision
-
Ray Donovan
-
Donovan Ray
-
Bacon
-
BaccOff
-
Gatsby
-
Zaxby’s
-

The Walrus Was This
Andy Reid Baby

-
karl walrus
The Walrus Was
Karl Malden

-
#ThrowbackThursday
-
#ThrowupThursday
-
Top Chef
-
Topless Chef
-
racist Redskins
-
Simply Red’s bassist
-
Carlos Danger
-
Sir Reginald Safety III
-
orange is the new black
Orange Is The
New Black

-
orange face
Orangeface is the
new Blackface

-
JFGay
-
RFGay [NSFW]
-
Doritos Locos
-
Utz Slutz
-
Tony Romo,
Choke Artist

-
 Tony Santavicca,
Sandwich Artist
!

-

and here’s what was In Oder Aus in the ’006the ’007the ’008the ’009the ‘010, the ‘011the ‘012 & the ‘013

2 Comments

Thighs Wide Music 2013

Yeezus aint got nuttin on or in our ears, cause this stuff did in 2013!!!

 

Al-bums Sharp-tons!!!

-

Album of the year / their career

franz right words

Franz Ferdinand
Right Thoughts, Right Words, Right Action

 -

Lady minus Tron =
IT IS SO FCUKING ON!!!

 marine crystal world

Marnie – Crystal World

 -

Soundtrack of The Year Decade

gatsby sdtrk

The Great Gatsby

- 

Punk’d Dafty

daft punk RAM

Daft Punk – Random Access Memories

 

-

Tunses For Toonces

‘Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites’ by Skrillex | ‘Call On Me’ by Eric Prydz | ‘Get Lucky’ by Daft Punk | ‘Bullet’ by Franz Ferdinand | ‘Hard Out There’ by Lily Allen | ‘Tainted Love’ by Gloria Jones | ‘I Feel Love’ by Donna Summer | ‘I’m Ready’ by Kano | ‘The Perfect Life’ by Moby featuring Wayne Coyne | ‘Hearts On Fire’ by Marnie | ‘City Rising From The Ashes’ by Deltron 3030 featuring Mike Patton | ‘White Rabbit’ by Mayssa Karaa | ‘The Rain, The Park and Other Things by The Cowsills | ‘Ordinary Love’ by U2 | ‘Young And Beautiful’ by Lana Del Ray | ‘Colours’ by Electric Wave Bureau | ‘Song About A Grasshopper’ by Big Children’s Choir | ‘Stronger Than The Storm’ by Bang 

[d-lode all in one handy zip!!!!!]

(look for ‘Click here to start download from sendspace’)

and a big boo to the one song that made me wish I didn’t have ears – ‘The Blue Umbrella Suite’ featuring Sarah Jaffe

-

You Only Once Live!

franz hammerstein oct 2013

show of the year – Franz Ferdinand @ Hammerstein

Fleetwood @ Mac Prudential Center Newark

Three Dog Night Empire City Casino at Yonkers Raceway

Bon Jovi @ Giants Stadium II

Beck @ Prospect Park Bandshell

Travis @ Webster Hall

Global Citizen Festival @ Great Lawn – Central Park

Deltron 3030 @ Highline Ballroom

Elton John @ MSG

-

Hear, Dare & Everywear

ZZcar-rev 

Who Are You?

ramones 

the greatest song about a grasshopper ever done sung!!!!!!!!!

jordy 

Tender Is The Day The Demons Go Away

cowsills2

The Who Concert Disaster 

lena

this poster is juss WOW juss WOW juss WOW juss WOW!!!

-

BADBYE :(

goodbye Sweet Lou

lou reed

goodbye The Man-Zarek

ray-man

goodbye The Mac Daddy

kris kelly kross

goodbye Safe Havens

richie havens 

goodbye Self-Toucher

divinyls

 

-

and here’s what we stuffed in the past

’12
’11
’10
’09
’08
’07
’06
’05
’04
’03

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