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Thighs Wide Music 2016

I bought more CDs this year than I probably have in an entire decade!  it’s TRUE!!!! I WILL NOT LET PHYSICAL MEDIA DIE!!!

here’s what I listened to in 2016!!  all certified thightastic!

you know my theory – see your favorite musicians in concert before you or they die…


Live By Night!

toht raiders axl roses guns

Raul Malo @ City Winery

31st Annual Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony (Deep Purple / Ste ve Miller / NWA / Chicago / Cheap Trick(  @ Barclays Center

David Gilmour @ Madison Square Garden

Pearl Jam @ Madison Square Garden

Flight of The Conchords @ The Heath at The McKittrick Hotel

Ellie Goulding @ Madison Square Garden

Guns N’ Roses @ MetLife Stadium

Paul McCartney @ MetLife Stadium

Pitbull @ the Prudential Center

Willie Nelson @ the Amphitheater at Coney Island Boardwalk

The Bangles @ Irving Plaza

Jeff Lynne’s E.L.O. @ Radio City Music Hall

Cat Stevens/Yusuf Islam @ Beacon Theatre

Brian Wilson presents Pet Sounds – Celebrating the 50th Anniversary with Al Jardine and Blondie Chaplin @ Beacon Theatre

Tidal X 10/15 @ Barclays

Sia @ Barclays

my very first (and long overdue) @PearlJam show was more epic than Epic Records #ImStillAlive

A video posted by Thigh Master (@thighmaster) on

here’s a bunch of misc music junk from TWS in 2016…


The The and They They

elton bat

freedie darth

believe it or not, in my adolescents, I used to be even angrier about really dumb stuff

mr kite poster

stuff auctioned off from The Estate of the late Syd Barrett, in 2006

billy spakrs

Bantha 8-Tracks

wish you were here outtake

it sucks the most when musicians die, cause you can never relive their greatness visually like you can with actors.  it’s true!


Goodnight Sweet
Prince & Princesses



george martin

glenn frey



changes bowie


This Is List – 2017

you know the drill – 2016 was all Tronald Dump, and Gigi Hadon’t and bunch of other garbage szauce, but 2017 is gonna be different, and amazing, and awesome szauce.  There may be some KKK, but don’t worry, everything will be A-OKKKK.  How do we know?  We juss do.  Anywho, The Washington Post does a list thing, and so do we, cause old rabbits cry bards…




Celebrity Deaths

Celery Chefs
Feel The Bern
Peel The Perm
Netflix & Chill
DQ’s Grill & Chill
Fake News
Fake Mews

High Ponytails

High Ponies
The Mannequin

Mannequin Three:
For The Show

Gene Wilder
Gene Milder

Keith David

David Keith
The Killing
of Harambe

Death to
the word ‘Bae’

Galaxy Note
7 Explosions
Murder She Wrote
‘Northern Explosion’

Crying Jordan
Crying Neil Jordan
Liberal Bubble
Puzzle Bobble
Leslie Jones
Joan Leslie
Carpool Karaoke
Rideshare Harakiri

To Canada

From Canada

Russian Hackers
Russian Lacquer
‘Cake By
The Ocean’

Cakes by

Ken Bone
Ben Koné

Chewbacca Mom

Mom Calamari



Pokémon GO
Poke, Go Away!
Squad Goals
Squat Goats

and here’s what was In Oder Aus in the ’006the ’007the ’008the ’009the ‘010, the ‘011the ‘012the ‘013, the ‘014, the ‘015, the ‘016


Thighs Wide Telly 2016

oh man, that TV stuff in 2016!!!

1. The People vs OJ Simpson (FX)

paulson hair

left a PERManent 90s stain on my psyche 

(please note – I didn’t get a chance to watch the ESPN doc series on OJ yet):


2. The Americans (FX)

poor poor Martha Hanson


3. Baskets (FX)

louie anderson baskets

Louie Anderson – BIGGEST comeback of the 21st Century!!!


4. Murder Made Me Famous (REELZ)

a who’s who of horrible human beings – Jodi Arias, Scott Peterson, The Menendez Brothers, Drew Peterson, Ted Bundy, Joran van der Sloot, Pamela Smart, Jean Harris, Billionaire Boys Club, The Preppy Killer, Steven Avery, Charles Manson.  sure, the news is old, but the reenactments are fresh – and I friggin love reenactments!!!  also, the Steve Avery one had me throw out any sympathy that I had formed from watching Making of a Murderer!!!  also, I could listen to Steve Helling talk ALL DAY


5 & 6. Gotham (Fox) & Supergirl (CBS/CW)

supergirl show

(still) amazing how DC heroes are done OH so right on the small screen, and OH so wrong on the big screen

7. Younger (TV Land)

this is basically TV’s best kept secret.  Sutton Foster and her teefy smile are infectious!

8. Shameless (Showtime)

a show I truly hate to watch, cause I always feel the need to take 82929 showers after watching it, but I cannot quit on the Gallaghers, especially now that the little kids are coming into their own, and so is Kevin (above) and his shorter hair!

9. Bates Motel (A&E)

the show inches closer and closer to the Norman Bates we all know and love, while creating the Norman Bates we never knew anything about.  sad that the upcoming season will be its final one 

10. Halt and Catch Fire (AMC)

even more ones and zeroes, and four of my favorite TV HEROES!!!!

11. Drunk History (Comedy Central)

more Rich Fulcher please!

12. Fresh Off The Boat (ABC)


making broadcast TV comedies fun again, and again!  probably my favorite modern TV family

other solid forms of entertainments: 

Last Week Tonight with John Oliver – it was all a lot of fun AND games, until his efforts to stop Trump were in vain, and I couldn’t watch the show anymore

The Circus – fantastic and immediate election season show was a must watch, although I still haven’t brought myself to watch the final episode.  gasp

The Affair – so so so soo soo excellent that it made me eat Lunch

Maron – nice ending to a show that didn’t seem to have a beginning

Silicon Valley – still my favorite cast on TV

The Last Man Earth – still my 2nd favorite cast on TV

Married At First Sight 4 – finally, some of the people found love

Veep – incredible how the insane politics of this show were outdone by the real insane politics of 2016!

Married by Mom and Dad – what a great bad idea.  its heart is in the right place, even if the hearts don’t end up in the right place

Tyrant – the show ran out of steam, and I was basically done with it once Ashraf Barhom was done

Fargo  – I hope they keep farGOING and GOING!!!

Modern Family – it’s like they’re trying too hard to be funny, and it shouldn’t have to be that way

House of Cards – OMG – the Russian guy is really Mads Mikkelsen’s brother!!!

Game of Thrones – still not as good as HBO’s Rome

Million Dollar Listing New York – I’m sold on Fredrik, Ryan and Luis

Mistresses – so long, goodbye, don’t let your awfulness hit you on the way out

Restaurant Startup – Joe is still an a$$hole, and Tim Love still has giant eyes, and I still cannot miss an episode

11/22/63 – they need to travel back in time and remake the series without James Franco!

Girls – this show needs an abortion from itself

+ bone-yessss!! moments

long live Mrs Garrett

mrs g

the BUZZR channel. it’s what the Game Show Network used to be!

orson paul masson

Richard Dreyfuss as Madoff!


MTV Classic – what MTV was, and needs to be

guessing the Twin Peaks 2017 characters!!

goldie ball

when New York City’s in trouble – who you gonna call? Pat Kiernan!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Growing Pains goes to Europe! and Family Matters goes to Disney World!

old stars tv mcdonalds

They Fcuked With The Babysitter

hulk bruce


sweetin solo

the 30 for 30 on the first pitch after 9/11

baton side

The Double Dare Reunion!  LONG LIVE HARVEY!!!

The Unknown Flag Raiser of Iwo Jima – rights history’s wrong, AND employed the retired Gene Hackman to tell us!


when Adrien Brody channeled Andrew Dice Clay – which may have been my favorite TV moment of 2016

Debbie Gibson goes Hallmark and gives us an awesome acoustic ‘Only In My Dreams’

and this!!!


it growing pains me to say goodbye to all these amazing people :(




john mac


mr ed


judy jetson


morley chucjles


patty hair


shandling hand


ken howard tv guide


larry draje




don david dobs guns



+ hail & farewell to…

Charles Osgood on our televisions on Sunday mornings



Vin Scully calling Dodgers games



perv-iously ’15 ’14 ’13 ’12 ’11 ’10 ’09 ’07


Cheesier By The Dozen

TWS turns 12 today.  one more year and it becomes a man

if you missed anything in year 12, here ye blow…

Smells Like Teen Dispirited


freedie darth


The 2015 Thighsmans


Bridge Of Thighs


bless you Callahan!!


gretzky lies


Thighs Wide Movies 2015




The Welles Report




Ohhhh Fuuudge!


hooters air safety




Auf Wiedersehen Europe. until we Wiedërsehen again!!!

A photo posted by Thigh Master (@thighmaster) on





Reality Czech


last night in #BudaBest and already starting to miss the greatest word ever – #szósz #awesomeSZÓSZ

A photo posted by Thigh Master (@thighmaster) on

I’m Going Hungary


the deep


This Is List – 2016


danish girl redmayne


Thighs Wide Telly 2015


armstrong toilet2




early taco bell


Gyros of The Day


chrysler peepz


Supergirl is supercute


jump zowe trope


Beauty Is Only Skin Depp


gloria 2


ALWAYS Trust A Big Butt AND A Smile


gary coleman co,or padres san diego


Don’t Cut It Out


now THAT is how you toss a salad!!!!! #HouseOfYum #HouseOfYES

A video posted by Thigh Master (@thighmaster) on

Foggy With A Chance of Zodiac Balls




Citizen Schwarzenegger




Aaron Spelling’s wife got him a pinball machine made based on his life and work!!!!!!!




Bass Ackwards


Gina Ekiss


KOCA NOLA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Clifton Webb as a baby-sitter indulging with two women in scene from film "Sitting Pretty."


Ann B Davis in Omaha, Nebraska, September 1971




Chairmen of the Cardboard: Recreating memorable trading cards


hamill card 5


never 5get – Toby Huss as faux Frank Sinatra – riffing and rhyming on current [1994] MTV hits




what if Jason Todd LIVED inBatman: A Death in the Family???


me drew 1


The Monty Hall Smokin-Stokin’ Fire Brigade


stomach ball


Addams Family Hopefuls – Photos From The Auditions


j lo body us weekly


Oh Well, Whatever, Nevermind


number 3


that time The Eagles playedRolling Stone magazine in softball, May 1978




Buck(ingham) Naked


mark kistler 2





Unwanted Poster


airplane jello boobs


what Detroit’s Pontiac Silverdome looks like these days


dali zoo2


Hughes or Lose


interview me opening day


Phil Hartmann, album cover designer!!


chevy food fight


Cher being Cher




This One Goes To Eleven

Ten Years A Thigh Master

Crap o’ Nine Tales

Eight Is Not Enough

Seven Thighs For Unlucky Number Slevin Brothers

Six Degrees of Snorting Bacon

Nut Saks Fifth Anniversary

Queer As Fourth

Three’s A Crowd… PLEASER!

In Case You Didn’t Feel Like Showing Up

Bring On The Terrible Twos!



The 2015 Thighsmans

we named the breastest movies of the beastest of the 2015

and now, for the only awards that matter…

Twelvethie Anal Thighs Wide Movie Awards




The Trash Humpers Biggest Piece of Humpy Trash Film of the Year!!!!!


Me and Earl and The Dying Girl

this movie makes me so mad cause it tries so hard to be cool and its the furthest thing from coeol, but it’s the closet thing to sucking poop from an ass


Most Entenmann’staining
Film of the Year

the danish girl

The Danish Girl

which was sadly NOT about danishes



The 6th Annual Greta Grrr Wig Recipient of The OK This Joke/Career Muss Be Stopped Now Award


I still don’t get the deal that is

Rooney Mara

(who looks exactly like Disney’s Ichabod Crane)



The Samuel L Jackson
Never Met A Script
She Didn’t Like
Girl of The Year

 Alicia Vikander Samuel L Jackson

Alicia Vikander

who had 7 flix released in 2015!!


Gifs of the Gawds

mad max fire guy

machina danc23

raped by bear leo

machina dance


Hairing Is Caring

gimatti landy

heller giamatti

Paul Giamatti as two different assholes
with two different asshole wigs

runner up – the wigs of The Big Short


Nice Piece of Glass

iris 2

Iris Apfel’s and her
endless collection of glasses


Cry Me A Rivers

melissa rivers

Melissa does mom Joan proud in Joy


Bob’s Big Girls
The Bobbies!

rita ora

these bobs are muy deniro!


The KFC Finger Stickin’ Goodness Goodie Three Shoes Award

Courtney Eaton 2

we wants 2eat Courtney Eaton
2 the max


Nathalie Emmanuel furious 7

she’s fast AND she’s furious


Anne Hathaway’s sweater puppies
The Intern

anne hathway sweater puppies


I’d follows Maika Monroe anywhere




Monica Bellucci

sid man



Eyes Wide Open For Bidness 9ever

aka Bestest Scariest Eyes

black mass deopp

Johnny Depp’s scary ass
depp blue eyes

 in Black Mass


Würstest Date Movie of 2014

saul fia

Son of Saul



Always Bet On These Lil Shirley Temple Black (& White) Children


Raffey Cassidy


evan bird

Evan Bird


Don’t You Forget About Me/These Forgetmenot Bon Mots

shermer high

breakfast club hs

The John Hughes Driving Tour I Sorta Invented!

Han Solo Hands Things to Rey

GENE HACKMAN AS DOC BROWN??????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hamill card 7

Carrie Fisher’s adorable daughter Billie Lourd

THAT GUY is married to a 4 time Academy Award winning costume designer!!!!!

Clifton Webb as a baby-sitter indulging with two women in scene from film "Sitting Pretty."

Buddy Ebsen was going to play the Tin Man in the 1939 version of The Wizard of Oz

Major League cards by Topps


a street called Lois Lane

Margot Kidder is SuperFLY!!!!!!!!

 EL Fudge

Woody Allen toots

Happy 99th Birthday Olivia de Havilland!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

angie dickinson point blank

The Two Women With The Ass Crack Dress



The Kid from Left Field

two VHS tape covers/posters that made me wish I didn’t have eyes as a kid, and STILL creep me out to this very day

sun phase iv

The Story of Star Wars 8-track

Funko’s ReAction action figures!!!


the deep


airplane jello boobs



Songs That Execute Better Than Norman Mailer Does As Norman Bates


NWA’s greatest hits

‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’ (Violin version) from COBAIN: Montage of Heck

‘You Could’ve Been A Lady’ by Hot Chocolate from Mistress Ameirca

Ellie Goulding – ‘Love Me Like You Do’

the Carol Sountrack

the Joy soundtrack


Trailers Worth Tractoring

(in endless memory of Robert ‘Tractor’ Traylor)




Poster Her! Poster We! Poster Haste!


Unintentional Porn To Be Wild Titles

lady in the van

The Lady In The Van / Under Milk Wood / 90 Minutes in Heaven / The Duff / Inside Out / The Longest Ride / Trumbo / The Big Short / Run All Night / Boonie Bears: Mystical Winter / Steve Jobs


Fenella Woolgar
Bestest Names Award


Doodles Weaver

& Man Mountain Dean

& Steele Stebbins 



Movies To Look For In The ‘016

Bridge Of Thighs

Bridge of Thighs

Uranus Descending 

The Woman from A.U.N.T.

Untitled Unfunny Judd Apatow Movie

Breasts of Some Nation

Terminator Levitycus

Magic Mike XS

33 Jump Street: Generations

15 Fast, 15 Furious



In Memoriam



Dracula/Scaramanga/Lord Summerisle/Saruman/Count Sudoku

chris lee dracula

Omar Sharif

omar top secret


wes craven 

Albert Maysles

 al maysles

The Other Dick Van + Jerry’s Wife/Ben’s Mom/Anne Meara + THE John Steed + Jason Voorhees’ mom + Stand By Me‘s Milo Pressman



Leatherface & Maureen O’Hara

that suave-ass French actor who was in Octopussy

One Crazy Negron
& Rod Taylor and Ekberg

negron last boy scout

+ the guy who designed this

ghosbusters logo

Dean Jones & Dickie Moore
& Jean Darling

Cindy Mancini

CAN'T BUY ME LOVE, Amanda Peterson, 1987, ©Buena Vista Pictures

That Woman From Every 80s/90s Movie



Mister Deltoid




don’t forget to peep out our ’14, ’13, ’12, ’11’10’09’08’07’06’05’04’03, and ’02 awards!! 

if you got this far, pat yourself on the back, then yer balls

until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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