we were here

and we wish you were too

-

this list is life

and farts!

-

this picture should hang at the MoMA

this ranch sauce should
be served everywhere

-

leftovers?  not bloody likely

indigestion?  bloody likely

-

hollandaise holiday sauce

black gold, Bloomington tea

-

this is our brains on college

any questions?

-

biz sinking at Nick’s
is always mandatory

woman in the background was shocked that we were able to
capture the pour in mid-flight

-

blue drinks for all!

good tasting drinks for none!

-

rough nite for somebody

but sometimes a necessary evil

-

and now for the ‘cultural’
part of our tour

-

Zells yeah!!!

fighting Illini? more like losing Illini!!!

-

if you can read these
you don’t need glasses

and probably also have a tiny penis

-

IU Cinema is a bestestestest

and so was seeing the Cary Grant / Katherine Hepburn comedy Holiday

-

we’d follow the RHCP cover band
Funky Monks practically anywhere…

…there’s 8 cent beer
and 18 year old women

-

????

does not compute

-

America, where everything’s bigger, not necessarily better

you lighters up our lives

-

boob grab!!!

but the question is, real boobs???

-

LOL!!!!

LOL!!!! continued

-

looking for ranch farts from years past?  YOU GOT IT!!!

this is NC in a can

yes we cans. no way he could HATES THESE CANS!!

checked out the State Fair in Raleigh

where the prizes were rather un-a-peel-ing

but the food was fried wide shut to our liking!!!!

WTF is deep fried Kool-Aid????  DON’T DRINK IT!!!!!!

OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG!!!

yep, a Krispy Kreme bacon cheeseburger.  and yep, it was the knees bees of deliciousesnessnessness!!!!

this is a sign that should hang on every tree in the world

and hell, if it had said free fried balls of horseshit, we woulda taken it too!!! EVERYONE LOVES FREE!!!!  GIVE US US US FREE!!!

why do legs of everything taste so bestestest??

although we’re more of a breast man, duhvs!!

wedgies???

who pays for those?  they’re free, and usually unwanted

THAT’S RACIST!!!!!!

AND HILARIOUS!!!

rest easy there buddies

cause one day you’ll make great hamburgers!!!

please dont ask why we took a picture of a cow’s butt

don’t you dare udder a word!!!

safety first wurst!!!

this is enuff to make us never drive or do drugs or have eyes again!!!

Raleigh has a nice lil art museum

cept they have no van Goghs, so in our mind, it’s not a real art museum

then it was off to Charlotte

to waste our time and money watching the Redskins play pee wee football

tried out Price’s Chicken Coop

which wasn’t eggzactly all that it was feathered up to be

skin was nice n crispy, chicken nice n juicy

but it didn’t have any kick to it whatsoever, and all fried chicken muss have a kick to it OR ELSE IT’S AS LAME AS KFC!!!!

only been there twice, but Thomas Street Tavern is easily one of our mos flavorite bars ever

even Slick Willy’s a fan

Joe Pata???

that should read

ps – DUKE SUCKS!!!!

another year, another spot of fun

oh, and the non-arcade game stuff was nice and stuff!

and A Ross Kakoji remains our hero amongst men of a certain age

there’s no such thang as ‘too much of a good thing’, herspecially when it comes to Bloomington, Indiana, one of our moist flavorite America Earth cities period! we were juss there this past Februrarary, and for even more zits & tiggles, we decided to go back there this past tweakend, and here’s some pictures we want to share with you, cause Sharon is Karen… whoever they is

you’d be sirprized

ranch sauce was dipped and dranken by the a$$load, but the amount of ranch farts emitted was way down on this trip. that ALMOS makes it an unsuccessful trip. ALMOS!!!

for some reason, Mickey’s beyond fine malt liquor isn’t sold in NYC

cause probably NYC isn’t a place where only white people live [DATS RACIST!!]

this is what bathrooms looked like in the 50s

and apparently still today!!!

lets be serious for a second…

sh#t is f#$ked up

OK, back to not being serious…

and on to being sauceyist for an eternity!!!

this is so confusing

balls on both ends?

we branched out on this trip & even tried a new ‘za joint

Mother Bear’s = mother BESTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

this is gotta be some sorta copyright issue

or juss plain copyWRONG!!

kill we now

or someone juss kill Ken Jeong-Ill instead

if only all athletes looked like Rollie Fingers

if only we looked like Rollie Fingers

oh cool! a game where you can win candy!!

or you could juss go to a store and buy candy for $1!!!

gotta love the Hinkle

cept it wasn’t open, so no peek or tinkle inside

so, when are we next goin’ back to Indiana like the J5?

did you know that there’s a giant cavern underneath the Lincoln Memorial, filled with stalactites and stalagmites???????

how do we know this?  somehow, someway, when wees was a kid, we had the über-rare chance to take a tour underneath Abe’s chair, and while our memory has receded over the years (college does that to you), we have never forgotten about that tour.  we even started having crazy flashbacks when watching the fellowship run round in the Mines of Moria!!!  it’s true!!

yo, juss CHECK OUT THIS TOUR FOOTAGE FROM 1988!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! including a close-up of Mutt & Jeff drawings on a wall!!!!!!!!!!!  incredibles!!!!!!!!!!

well, we took a recent look into it and apparently tours do happen, but remain rare, if not next to impossible to take.  we’re sure 9/11 made it even more impossiblerer!!!

somehow these peoples below were able to make it happen back in 2008, so there is hope!!!

here are some other people who remember taking the tour… decades ago

National Park Service’s GeoStory of the Lincoln Memorial

1961 newspaper article about the cavern

help me help you and lets finger out how we can take a tour of the basement of the Alamo Lincoln Memorial!!!  write your congresswoman today!!!!!!!