05. Feb, 2012 
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he said ‘Danger, Will Robinson!’
Peter, Paul and Mary had a bassist?
he stalked Frank Sinatra’s daughter Tina
co-inventor of Closed Captions
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21. Jan, 2012 0 Comments
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she shot pictures and had two first names
rightfully angry Japanese-American
and this guy
18. Jan, 2012 1 Comment
the women below burned up screens in 2011, and holes in people’s pants everywhere. bless you all
The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo
and
Transformers 9
perv-iously - Welcome To The House, Dolls 2010
17. Jan, 2012 0 Comments
2011 didn’t bring us any swans, social networkers, toothy dogs or voids that needed exiting ASAP, but that didn’t stop movies from being released. we saw a bunch of them, and in our humboldt opinion, here’s the top of the plops…
Apes re-rose this year, but it was the real life tale of one displaced pot-smoking chimpanzee who had to battle nature vs nurture vs short-minded humans that truly made a monkey out of us. After this and Man On Wire, we’re foaming at the mouth and between the thighs to see what’s next in James Marsh‘s beyond goodie bag
What is real, and was is not? And are they, or are they not??????? Whatever it is and they are, this shiz is Certified blam-mazzin!!!
Señor Spielbergo shows us what a 4th Indiana Jones could have been (without Georgie Lucas) MAD F$%KING FUN, YO!!! Also, probably one of the best animated movies of this century. YES, THIS CENTURY!!!
Mormon sex in chains case, the docuMENTALary. Joyce McKinney would win an Oscar if she wasn’t a real person, so instead she won our ears and hearts 9ever
for once, a happy von Trier movie!!!! and it’s got nude moon-bathing!!! and Kiefer Sutherland!!!!!
THIS IS NO SKIN THAT ANYONE WOULD WANTS TO LIVE INS!!!! YIKESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Forget all that beach sense-non at the end, and remember everything else – the dinosaurs, the mother’s pure love, the father’s tough love, and all that running thru the house. Thanks for the days hours of heaven T-Mal
Parents, don’t let your kids grow up to be archers, but that’s probably inevitable if yer mom is half-amphibian and yer dad is the king of all schlubs
Another Fincher clincher, but seriously, the Anita Vanger plot hole keeps it from being the greatest movie ever. not really, but kinda?
Barely a movie, and more like a feeling, a really dirty one, filled with Mulligan showers and Fassbendy shlong dangles. Gets under yer skin, and makes you want to eyeball screw every woman on the subway
Werner Herzog goes mos death, penalty, and it’s up to you if the play is fair or foul
Kelly Reichardt makes really slow and boring modern movies, so when she turned her movie clock back to the dusty & musty ye olde Oregon trail thymes, she struck dysentery gold!!!
Anyone who thought The Aviator was good is a giant moron. Anyone who doesn’t think J Edgar is good, probably thinks The Aviator was good. This is Leo’s best work since he ate Gilbert’s grapes
This doc sums up everything about our lives, cept for the masturbation, fried chicken, and masturbating with fried chicken parts
Some substance, all style, and that’s just fine, cause of that jacket, and those nightcallings, and them crazy Jews, and that elevator action, and that jacket, again
Punch, drunk, hate. Make a date to watch it, but not with someone you love.
If Rob & Steve made a movie where all they did was sleep, WE WOULDN’T SLEEP ON IT!!!!!
ROLAND EMMERICH MADE A MOVIE THAT WASN’T HORRIBLE!!!!! IN FACT, IT WAS KINDA F%^KING AWESOMES!!! IT MAKES SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE LOOK LIKE SHAKESPEARE IS SUCKS!!!!
and now for the…
Honor Blackmanable Mentions
Abduction (it’s all about the ABS!), Bill Cunningham New York (take a bite out of this little apple!), Bombay Beach (life ISN’T a beach!), The Conspirator (Wilkes Booth truth!), A Dangerous Method (dangerously sexy!!!), The Devil’s Double (doubled our pleasure), Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close (ext cloying, but kinda incred moving), Final Destination 5 (3-D done/dumb well), The Help (still makes we want to eat fried chicken), Housemaid (clean up on aisle yikes!!!), (the last 1/4) of Hugo, Jane Eyre (the eyre up there!), Limitless (for once, a watchable DeNiro movie), Midnight In Paris (the clock strikes movie magic!) Moneyball (so money… ball!), Prom (let’s party!), Rise of The Planet of The Apes (bananas!!), Scream 4 (all hale Lucy!!), A Separation (anxiety!), Sleeping Beauty (no penetration!), Source Code (groundhog’s slays) Submarine (stays afloat and then some!), Super 8 (even if the ending wasn’t so super), Terri (the ultimate pajama jammy jam), Vidal Sassoon: The Movie (what about bobbed???), Warrior (brooding & the beasts)
next up (at some point) is our anal-ual movie awards, but feel free to feel up years past gas in the meanthyme
02. Jan, 2012 0 Comments
you know the drill - The Washington Post does it, we does it too, better or worse or perhaps even worser. anywho, to 2012, and beyondce…
| OUT | IN |
Kardashians
|
|
| Tebowing
|
Bilbo Baggins’d
|
| What About Bobbed?
|
What About Watermelon?
|
| Adele
|
Bdele
|
Anthony Weiner
|
|
| North Korea
|
West Korea
|
| Amanda Knox
|
Amanda Knox’ Knockers
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| SMiLE
|
FRoWN
|
|
|
| The Arab Spring
|
An Arab Remake of Sprung
|
| Nostalgia
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Yestalgia
|
| basketball on aircraft carriers
|
jai alai on hovercrafts
|
| being compared to Hitler
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being compared to Houghton Mifflin
|
Dragon Tattoos
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Pete’s Dragon Tattoos
|
| Godfather’s Pizza
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Dogfather Hot Dogs
|
| Quickster
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Slowster
|
| Steve Jobs
|
Steve Unemployeds
|
| Words With Friends
|
Winwood & Friends
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| Silent Films
|
Ceylon Films
|
Louis CK
|
|
| Skinny Jonah Hill
|
Jonah Hill’s Skin Flute
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| Sleep No More
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Awake Yes Less
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| Casey Anthony
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Casey Siemaszko
|
| Occupy Wall Street
|
Rockupy Hollywood & Vine
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Bridesmaids
|
Chi McBride‘s Maids
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| Osama bin Laden
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Coleslama bin Laden
|
| Winning
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Whinnying
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| Kepler-22b Jokes
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Uranus Jokes
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| Penn State Inappropriate Touching
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Penn State Penitentiary Inappropriate Touching
|
and here’s what was In Oder Aus in the ’006, the ’007, the ’008, the ’009, the ’010, and the ’011
1 Comment
The Woman In Black
Children of The Yawn
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 95 min
Daniel Radcliffe is a lawyer or something, and definitely not Harry Potter, cause he has a 3 o’clock shadow beard. His wife is dead or something, and his son draws pictures of him … Read the rest
The Grey
Crash Grab
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 117 min
From the looks of the image above, Joe Carnahan‘s The Grey looks like a Liam Neeson kicks mad a$$ with broken gla$$ flick from frame one til frame done, but guess what? THIS ONLY HAPPENS … Read the rest
Haywire
The MMA Experience
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 93 min
Having a tough time trying to figure out what to make of Steven Nerderbergh‘s Haywire. It’s kinda La Femme Nikitaish, but feels more like a 90s Steven Seagal flick with shades of whatever that … Read the rest
A Separation
(Jodaeiye Nader az Simin)
I-walk, Do Not Iran To A Theater near you
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 123 min
Is Asghar Farhadi‘s A Separation THE single best movie of 2011, as many have made it out to be? Well, it might juss be the … Read the rest
We Need To Talk About Kevin
Birth (Out of) Conrtrol
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 112 min
We do need to talk about We Need To Talk About Kevin cause we juss need to talk about it. First you MUSS MUSS MUSS see this, then we can … Read the rest
Haywire
The MMA Experience
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 93 min
Having a tough time trying to figure out what to make of Steven Nerderbergh‘s Haywire. It’s kinda La Femme Nikitaish, but feels more like a 90s Steven Seagal flick with shades of whatever that … Read the rest
the women below burned up screens in 2011, and holes in people’s pants everywhere. bless you all
the women below burned up screens in 2011, and holes in people’s pants everywhere. bless you all
2011 didn’t bring us any swans, social networkers, toothy dogs or voids that needed exiting ASAP, but that didn’t stop movies from being released. we saw a bunch of them, and in our humboldt opinion, here’s the top of the plops…
Apes … Read the rest
you know the drill - The Washington Post does it, we does it too, better or worse or perhaps even worser. anywho, to 2012, and beyondce…
| OUT | IN |
|
Kardashians
|
|
| Tebowing
|
Bilbo Baggins’d
|
| What About Bobbed?
|
What About Watermelon?
|
| Adele
|
Bdele
|
CBS Sunday Morning is the #1 show on TV ever (sorry Twin Peaks), and as for 2011…
It’s father’s day, every day, on the funniest show on TV, and it isn’t even a comedy. Take a look above and tell … Read the rest
you know the drill – we know nothing of new music (we only listened to four new releases and only liked two of them), cause we love old music, and yer probably muse-sick of hearing all this, but who flipping cares. by the way, what is Skrillex? by the way, … Read the rest
