first thing first, Vienna is actually named Wien, as in hot dog Wieners
or as in Wienerschnitzel (the city is HOME to it, duh)
but not as in Tafelspitz or Mark Spitz
wonder if they have an AM radio station called 1010 Wiens. anywho, Wien is in Austria, which shouldn’t be confused with Australia
and it never would, with such an awesome language in use like German!
although ‘Gloria’ is a beautiful song in ANY language
but not sure what Chuck sauce is like in any language
but pizza in every language is ‘pizza’ (although we didn’t have pizza in Europe, cause why would we??)
cause when in Wien, do as the Wieners do – #Wienning
and talk to random German and Swiss dudes
and kiss yer wife, cause you can’t stand how beautiful she is
and pick on someone not your own size
now Wien doesn’t have Eastern European charm like Hungary and Czech Repub do, but Austria never had to deal with all that standing in line for bread and sharing stuff. it remained a cosmopolitan place, for centuries, and remains so
where they have palatial palaces!!!
with selfie points – how modern!
round we go!
too even more schmancy cafés!
even the bathrooms are funky fresh!
and he also designed other buildings that aren’t his own museumz!!!
like the Hundertwasserhaus
it’s like a Smurf village for humans!!
but everything we did wasn’t juss fatrsy artsy culture stuff
of course we hit up grocery stores to see what was a brewin’
although we actually did try this – Almdudler – which is basically Austrian ginger ale – and once bitten, forever smitten
and apparently gefilte aint just for fishes. it’s a thing, but I guess they go with the less Jewish ‘gefüllte’ which translates to ‘stuffed’. but however it’s spelled, I’m g’scared of anything gefilted/gefüllted
then it was off to check out the famous Naschmarkt
where there’s kraut by the barrel!!!
oh, you think we forgot to go to McDonalds, and McLook at their McMenü?
or miss seeing the Doc Brown Opera – 88 Meilen pro Stunde????
so long Austria, and Europe – never lose that old world Epcot charm, or the MUSTaches
we were stuffed and no longer Hungray, then decided to Czech out…
the city is actually called Praha, but is somehow called Prague. never quite understood why we change the names of places that already have a name, but I didn’t invent English, and am happy that most people in big cities around the globe speak English, so I no complainsz. also makes ordering McDonalds much easier
yep, McDonalds. me and the wife broke down and had to try their fried cheese balls. and Burger King’s too!!! AND THEY WERE ha-mazing. not sure why these aren’t sold in America(/Philadelphia), considering we love cheese AND fried things!!!
in the same mall eatery there was a place that grabbed our attention
but the finger food didn’t grab out appetite
so American that Bay Watch plate!!! (it’s about $4)
sadly Czech people don’t speak and spell like Hungarians, so no szósz here :(
but they do have their own fun-named foods
and strange candy that isn’t really all that strange
and unbelievably beautiful and tasty breads
and some sort of cheese bread thing!!!
and meats meats meats!!! like this meat platter at the lovely Café Savoy!
and four of the best things I ate on my trip (AND IN LIFE!!!!) were from Prague…
cabbage pancakes from Mlejnice!!
steak tartare on toast!!!
+ wide noodles in mushroom sauce, both from Vinohradský parlament!!!
and this hamburger from Naše maso. OMG!!! who knew non-Americans could take us to burger heaven???!!!
there was also PLENTY of beer done dranken!!!!
but we did pass on the plastic 2 liter bottle of beer
and we didn’t try this, cause we’d be f$%king ourselves by doing so
ok, ok, enuff with the food and drink stuffs already, and on with the seeing stuffs!
like the crazy gothic castle on the hill!!
where the reverse view is equally as majestic
anywho – on top of the castle hill – there’s crazy beautiful church!
and the lanes are golden!
and so are the palaces!
hey look, I’m an annoying tourist!
back on the other side, in the old town, there’s plenty else to see
like a bunch of old synagogues, which are now mainly museums
since tons of Jews left Europe, if they were lucky
and their main town square is the stuff dreams are made of
and architecture that runs the gamut of now and zen
another purty café!
even the subway was stylin’!!
and so be their shoe stores!!
and this arcade mall place!!!
and even their movie posters are cool cause they’re not in English!
where inspiration can be found for one and all, right Wes?
and we made new friends…
like graphic designer Pavel!!
who designed this amazing poster that hangs in my abode!!!!!!!!
and a cartoony creature that now rivals Chip n’ Dale for our hearts…
ok, we done here, Czech please!
me and Thighs Wife went to Budapest/Prague/Vienna for New Years thyme. guess what? it was great, and you should go too, just prepare not to eat many vegetables, or see people drink water. They seem to only drink beer or really strong coffee, but if you’ve been to Europe, you know this. anywho, gonna break the adventure up by city, into 3 separate posts, so up first is…
Everything about Budapest is steeped in the past – either from the monuments they erected in their millennial anniversary of 1896, or during the times of Nazi occupation, followed by the drab architecture of red Communism – and the look and feel of the city shows all this wear and tear. While they do have Starbucks, this place retains a certain iron-curtained charm that the world now gets to peek behind
the city is split into two by the river Danube – the hilly Buda to the west and the flat Pest to the east. if you go, stay in Buda, and stay at the Hilton in the Castle District. you’ll wake up to the best view ever. EVERRRRRRRRRRRR!!!
and yer literally in a castle or castle district or something!
and it’s amazing, day or night
and they have statues with giant awesome szósz mustaches
what’s ‘awesome szósz’? it’s awesome sauce, but since the word for sauce in Hungarian is ‘szósz’ – it’s awesome szósz. got it?
btw – if you want to get to know a culture, seeing art and buildings is a good start, but so is visiting a super market. in Hungary, since all ‘s’es have a ‘z’ after em, it’s called a szupermarket. also – anything that has a ‘z’ in it, is followed by an ‘s’. confuszing. iszn’t it?
but they muss import their pizzas, otherwise this would be called ‘Pizszsa Guszeppe’, no?
and who doesn’t want corn with their salami pizza??
speaking of salami – they love it. at their central market, every other stall sells salami. the other stalls sell paprika and dried fruits
what else did we eat?
CHIPS ON A STICK!!
chimney cakes called kürtőskalács!!!!!
cheese bread delicious things called Lángos, which will have you lángosing for more of dem as soon as you finish eating one
chicken wrapped in cheese and bacon!!
and of course we were going to eat goulash!!!! and it lives up to its goul-lashy reputation!!! I want to make shoes of em and call em goulashes!!!
and of course we went to McDonalds – cause you always HAVE to go to McDonalds in a foreign country to see what’s on their menu – like Falatkák!! (plus it’s the only place guaranteed to have fountain sodas, and ice)
and then we did this thing called Eat & Meet where you go to this apartment and this nice young Hungarian lady and her parents make you a multi-coursed meal and get you drunk on wine and pálinka, and you meet random travelers from around the globe doing the same thing yer doing. SUPER AWESOME-SZÓSZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and we drank all these foods down with a hot cup of hot wife!!!
OK, time for a quick break
and onto sightseeing!!!
no ben, all parliament – which is as beautiful on the inside, as it is on the outside
and paid respect to the great Synagogue
and went to da Zoo
where we found the missing link between chimp and man
and went to da Opera house
and watched people ice skate in front of a faux castle thing!
and had schmancy coffee at this schmancy cafe
and checked out a schmancy ye olde movie theater
and brought in the new year at a schmancy restaurant in the castle wall thing!!
and went to the opposite of a schmancy bar – called a ‘ruin pub’, which is like a former dump hole, turned into a super awesome szósz bar!!! the one we went to was called Szimpla Kert, and it was szimply amazsing!!!
and the best thing we did? the thing locals AND tourists all do – go take a bath!!!
we will never go hungry again, but we’d totally go to Hungary again, even if a lot of the food looked like this!!!!!!!