Tag Archives: James Bond

2 Vast, 2 Laborious

8 Fast 8 Furious (The Fate of the Furious)
The DEFLATE of the Furious
Official Site | Trailer & Mo
PG-13 | 136 min

Welcome to 8 Fast 8 Furious!

(previously – #4 / #5 / #6 / #7)

And so long my unquestioned love of the Furious films!

Wait, what????

Yep, the Fate of The Furious may have sealed it’s fate by reaching a point of no return.  It may NEVER be able to return to the days of pure dumb fun, and may just keeping going (of course it will keep going), minus the fun – aka, pure DUMB

HOW IS IT SO??!?!??!?!

I dunno, but when did our beloved hot-head car racers turn into SEAL Team Six meets G.I. Joe????????????????


is this picture from 8 Furious or G.I. Joe? is there even a difference??

Why do they have to stop Bond villains from stealing bombs, on ice???


is this picture form 8 Fast or that awful Bond flick Die Another Die?

When did it become the Fast crew’s job to do things above their pay grade, and above what they really need to be doing – which is juss drive cars, fast, and impress fast hot chicks!  

And when did the bad guys all become fairytale cyberterrorists???

WTF Fast and Furious?  

And where did the humor go?  Sure, Tyrese has some good lines (one in particular, when trying to read Cyrillic Russian), and Jason Statham makes cute baby talk, but whoever is writing the one-liners should be given a one-way ticket to be buried alive.  What, was the guy who wrote the Running Man screenplay buried alive and not available?

Is this what happens with Paul Walker’s character walks away??  You have to go bigger and worse???  Or you have to have more scenes of talking, and less scenes of driving???  I mean the remote controlled car scene was INSANE, but, what is going on here?  Maximum Overdrive IN OVERDRIVE????

I mean, I feel that the road we’re headed on – 9 Fast 9 Furious will find our beloved crew saving the Earth from aliens!!!!  

and of course I’ll be there to witness it.  juss please make it fcuking good.  PLEASE!! and dump the stuff that doesn’t belong that is making Fast seriously slow

Verdictgo: the lowest that Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges goes

I am furious at Furious, currently at a theater near jews AND white nationalists

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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A World Less Safer

Peace The Forks Out

to

Morley Safer

Morley Safer, the longest-serving correspondent in the history of "60 Minutes," says it is time to retire. Safer, 84, said in a statement, "It's been a wonderful run, but the time has come to say goodbye to all of my friends at CBS and the dozens of people who kept me on the air."

morley 60

morley chucjles

morely smokes

morley snmokes

morley desk

morley face

+

the last Casablancer

madeleine lebeau casablanca

THE DIRECTOR OF GOLDFINGER (and LIVE AND LET DIE!  THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN! DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER!)

guy hamilton bond

THE DIRECTOR OF TEEN WOLF and LIKE FATHER LIKE SON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

teen wolf director

voice of Lucky Charms’ Lucky The Leprechaun

Mr K-tel/Miracle Brush/ Veg-o-matic

he came up with the phrase ‘The Fab Four’

Chyna

HE MADE YOU MIND THE GAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Flyers founder

Mr Dirty Dozen

an ole Hollywooder

he made us all go JFGay

rush to judgment

Him & Mr Jones

Touchable

Mr Nice

she Geeked Love

a voice guy

Silicon Valley dude

Orangeman Washington

Cub Pappas

Laker McMillian

Tiger McAuliffe

Red Ellis

Bronco Lee

THAT guy who always played a dad!!

William Schallert

attorney for WikiLeaks

world’s oldest firefighter

Papa Wemba

the godfather of Rodeo Drive

the nut king of Chicago

ABA money maker

Purple Rain cinematographer

THE COP FROM CLUE!!!

cop clue

publicly fired on Godfrey show (whatever that means)

she grounded the Flying Nun

voice of Michigan Stadium

U Dub announcer

Everybody Loves Doris Roberts

doris roberts

Sacha Baron Cohen’s dad

Tupac’s mom

Steve Carell’s mom

Patton Oswalt’s wife

Eli Wallach’s wife

that weird dude once married to Liza

Mr Os

square foot gardener

he taught the world to sing AND drink coke

some country guy

some lady singer

some Tejano singer

some experimental filmmaker

some comic book guy

some basketball guy

some Australian producer

some costume designer

some painter

some British comedian

some pizza guy

some drum dude

some coach

some blues-rock guy

some old guy on Seinfeld 

some actor

some British actor

some other British actor

some Kiwi actor

some Israeli actress

some Canadian actor

some Romanian actor

some guy who was Uncle Fester or something

some building guy

&

the Mr. Softee jingle-man

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Ian Phlegming

Spectre
Bland, James Bland
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 148 min

spectre

I’m digging the origin digging going on in these Daniel Craig James Bond flicks.  Sadly, I’m not fully digging on all of the films.  With the 4 Craig flicks – it’s been GREAT! (Casino Royale), then BLAH! (Quantum of Whatever), then HECK YEAH! (Skyfall), and now – with Spectre – it’s like ZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

A total snoozefest!!!!!!!!!!

All I remember is like Bond driving a car in Rome or something, and seducing Monica Bellucci in all of 5 seconds and then she’s gone from the movie, and then Bond goes to some snowy place, and then he goes to another snowy place and then like wants to help Léa Seydoux cause she’s hot, and then they have to go to Tangiers or something and then there’s a mouse, and a hidden room, and then they go to the desert and cross paths with Christoph Waltz as a nehru jacketed doctor of evil [spoiler alert]

Christoph Waltz nehru jacket

and then?  I dunno – some kinda conclusion that’s not conclusive, or interesting

I like the rebooting of the Bond character – but it’s time to hit the reboot button again.  Maybe they should try to go ultra-cheesy and do a throwback to the Roger Moore days.  Why not even do a Bond period piece?  Or Bond as a ninja??  Everyone loves ninjas.  Or Bond orbiting Uranus????

Verdictgo: Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badger

Spectre is not so spectre-tacular at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Monica Bellucci

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Honorable Discharge

elle evans blackman

honorblackman goldfingfer

Elle Evans as Honor Blackman as Pussy Galore in Goldfinger by Art Streiber

[I’m off for fun in the sun. C.U.N.T (c u next Thursday)]

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