Thighs Wide Movies 2013


2013 was a pretty weak year for movies, but life outside of the theater trumped life inside of it (I met the love of my life! and it’s a woman!  so I’m not gay!).  anywho, some movies were still better than garbage, and they is…


The Thirsteen Thirteen


1) Room 237

scatman calumet tang 237

Shining on some crazy diamonds who put more thought into thinking about the Shining than anyone ever needed.  But once you hear these batshit crazy theories, you cannot unhear these batshit crazy theories, and you may juss go batshit crazy yoself

2) The Wolf of Wall Street

wold of wall street

It’s like Goodfellas and Casino‘s younger, hipper brother

3) Her


Spike Jonze’ love story digitally penetrates!!

3) Captain Phillips

captain phillips

Taking hostages on screen AND off!!

4) All Is Lost

all is lost

A better silent movie than The Artist

5) The Great Gatsby

great gatsby

A little party never killed nobody

6) The Hunt

the hunt

Mads for Mads Mikkelsen

7) The Stories We Tell


Do Tell

8) Salinger


Trashy tabloid junk… that I couldn’t get enough of.  But what about the ‘pee in a jar’ rumors???


9) My Father and The Man In Black

black saul

Cash-ed & carry-on, for the wayward son

10) Spring Breakers

spring popsicles

more of a feeling than a movie, and a dirty one at that, but it inspired us to actually do something with video on the internets!! 


11) Short Term 12

short term 12

All Brie, no cheese 

12) Cutie and The Boxer


Starving for attention artists in residence

13) Our Nixon

our nixon

Nixon bindess with pleasure! 

and now for the…

Honor Blackmanable Mentions

blacman gun

The Armstrong Lie
Bettie Page Reveals All
Blue Caprice
Blue Jasmine
Dallas Buyers Club
Enough Said
Fill The Void
Frances Ha
Mandela Long Walk To Freedom
The Past
(first 1/3 of) Place Beyond The Pines
The Reluctant Fundamentalist
Saving Mr Banks
The Source Family
The Spectacular Now

wanna second opinion?  future Mrs Thigh Master weighs in!  

(poor girl saw more movies in a theater this past year than probably ever!!!)

Best Movies 

5. Short Term 12

4. The Wolf of Wall Street

3. Dallas Buyers Club

2. Captain Phillips

1. Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom

Runner up –

Fill the Void (Lemale et ha’halalrs)  

‘Best’ [meaning WURST] Movies  

5. Inside Llewyn Davis

4. The Book Thief

3. Don Jon

2. Upstream Color

1. I’m So Excited (Los amantes pasajeros)

Runner up –

The Sapphires

our annual anal movie awards – The Thighsmans – drops the week of the Oscars 

until then, here’s the bestest films of yesterhere

& 2002

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3 Responses to “Thighs Wide Movies 2013”

  1. Future Mrs. ThighMaster 31. Jan, 2014 at 2:52 pm

    Best GIF ever....

  2. BEST.

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