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Diss Me Cates

that one time Phoebe Cates became ugly

cates normal

cates in motion

cates super fug

cates ugly

at the Beaumont Modeling Building in New York City, July 31, 1979. photos by Ron Galella

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Red Slut Chilli Poopers

Peace The Forks Out

to

Californication

 

thanks for the endless boobs & butts & things

but no thanks for being a show a little too slutty for its own good

I hate you

 + hi res women of californication

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Got Carter

zero idea if MTV’s new Finding Carter show is gonna be any good or not, but it’s already the #1 show of 2014… in my heart

why?

cause Kathryn Prescott, duh

and a new show starring her means more Kathryn Prescott pics on the internets!!!!!!

k presccccccccot

k prescott 2014

k prescott carter2

kp finding c

finding carter

Kathryn Prescott!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Kilmer Me Softy With His Eyes

Palo Alto
Nepotism The Movie
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 98 min

palo alto

Apparently if you have the last name Coppola, it’s yer dog-given right to make a film.  And apparently if you’re the child of a movie actor/ess, it’s yer dog-given right to follow in their footsteps.  Man, it muss be tuff to give it the old Hollywood try when all the tries are being given to someone famous’ son or daughter or their cousin, twice removed.  (Too bad my parents were a lawyer and a teacher, although I didn’t follow in either of their footsteps.  Maybe my children will become Thigh Masters.  DO IT KIDS!!!)

Nepotism is on full display in Gia ‘grandaughter of Francis Ford’ Coppola‘s Palo Alto, starring Eric Roberts’ daughter and Val Kilmer & Joanne Whalley’s son (Val is in it to, but for maybe like 10 seconds).  The film is based off of James Franco’s book of short stories, and he gets a role in the film too.  Somehow his brother Dave Franco didn’t get nepotized into the cast.  (I did a quick check of the rest of the roster, but couldn’t find any more famous parental connections, outside of minor roles for Emma Gretzky and Bailey… Coppola)

OK, all that nepo-ness aside, the movie Palo Alto is still a movie and is somewhere between aunt Sofia Coppola’s Somewhere, and yet nowhere, and also Gus van Pretentious’ Paranoid Park, with a heavy dose all things Bret Easton Ellis.  So what I’m saying is Palo Alto is a moody piece of something, that’s really nothing.  Usually I loathe those kind of movies, and obviously I’m no giant fan of nepotism, AND YET, I still kinda really enjoyed Palo Alto

Why?

- there’s a faux recreation of Phoebe Cates’ Fast Times pool ascent scene, for no reason

- Kenny Powers’ fatty nephew is in it

Nat Wolff’s hair and attitude 

- the dumb high school talk

- it wasn’t awful like The Bling Ring was

- seeing what Chris Messina high and touchy-feely would look like

- the score

Father Guido Sarducci is in it (the actor, not the character), and he funny!

- it made me feel uneasy from start to finish, and I have no idea why, but movies should make you feel something, and this movie did

- and mainly cause I’m now in love with Val Kilmer & Joanne Whalley’s son Jack.  he’s almost hotter than both mom AND dad, and that’s basically impossible.  he looks like mini-Beck-River Phoenix.  I want to play with his hair.  I want to live on his face

jack kilmer

jack kilmer cu

jack kilmer 2

jackkilmer2

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Palo is palling about in limited release

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

val kilmer ice

jo whaley

val joanne

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