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Ruff Neck Business

those things around them mid-16th/mid-17th century portrait necks are called ruffs!!!

I think they’re due for a comeback

don’t you?

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White Swan Song

Jackie
To Live and Die With Dignity
Official Site | Trailer & Mo
R | 100 min

I’ve missed Natalie Portman, and I feel like she hasn’t really done anything post-Black Swan, which somehow was 6/7 years ago.  Yes, I know she was in Thor and in that dumb Ashcan Kruncher flick, and other stuff, but those were juss movies, not films.  Natalie can obviously pick and choose whatever she wants to do – she’s earned that right – but being such an incredible actress means she has a responsibility to take on incredible roles

I’d like to say that Natalie Portman’s proper follow-up to Black Swan is Pablo Larraín & Noah Oppenheim‘s Jackie Kennedy film, where she somehow is even more graceful, tortured and emotionally wounded than when she was as a ballerina bent on finding perfection.  Jackie is not perfect (it’s close, but there’s not enough grassy knoll for me :), but it is what it needs to be, and Portman as Jackie IS perfection

Throughout the course of the film, Jackie goes from white swan, to white swan covered in blood, to even whiter swan, and by the end of it all, I somehow I felt more compassion for Portman (as Jackie), then I actually do for Jackie Kennedy, for enduring and rising above the horrific death of her husband, and the leader of the free world

What the country went through is incomparable to what Jackie went though, but in a time of much awfulness, she had the right mind to plan a sendoff for JFK worthy of royalty, and cement his legacy and place in history for eons to come.  What Jack Kennedy accomplished in office wasn’t much (he didn’t get a chance to put man on Uranus), but what Jackie Kennedy accomplished in giving dignified life to his death was more than a lot, it was Camelot!

Portman also accomplishes something that wasn’t important or needed – reminding me how much I love Love LOVE seeing her on the big screen

Bonus points to the film for somehow turning Greta Gerwig into a real human being.  Never seen her so un-loopy and restrained.  And props to Peter Sarsgaard for giving new life to RFK, without going haaaard on the look or accent that most others usual do in Bobby’s shoes.  Also, Billy Crudup and John Hurt are quiet great as listeners for Jackie

Also, we finally have a definitive Jackie movie.  before Portman, all we had was this…

YES!

Verdictgo: Portman is Breast In Show, but the film is Jeepers MOS DEF Worth A Peepers

Jackie is way JF O-Kay at a theater near jews AND white nationalists 

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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The Boston We Party

Patriots Day
Made America Great Again
Official Site | Trailer & Mo
R | 133 min

In a time of great division, it takes a docudrama like Patriots Day to remind us how once united AND great America and Americans were

The 2013 Boston Marathon bombing was not all that long ago, but before you scream ‘too soon‘, it’s never soon enough to remember the bad that happened, and the good that came out of it and its aftermath.  I am patriotic, and love this country (and its fried chicken) so dang much, but I am not overly gung ho and showy about it.  But bad guys are easy to root against, and heroes are something we always need another of (sorry Tina).  And there are no better bad guys then bad men who went to harm innocent people, and there are no better good guys than the ones who protect and serve us, and try to keep us safe from the bad dudes.  After watching this film, I felt more proud and patriotic than I may ever have in my entire life (besides seeing the Beach Boys on July 4th in Washington DC)

Although I was sadden to learn that Mark Wahlberg‘s character in Patriots Day did not exist in the real world (and that they chose not to use Neil Diamond’s ‘America’ over the closing credits), everything else about the Peter Berg‘s incredible film felt so real, and of the moment. Berg and co (with brief but memorable turns by J. K. Simmons, John Goodman, Kevin Bacon, Themo MelikidzeAlex Wolff, Supergirl as the bomber’s wife, and my personal fav – Jimmy O Yang), did an excellent job of interweaving multiple stories to create a complete picture of the complex events, which I did not really intend to ever revisit… until I found myself sitting in the theater that I saw this in

What a frucking movie!!  You will leave the theater (or your couch, eventually), and want to scream – U S AND A! U S AND A!!  FCUK YOU BAD GUYS – WE ARE ALL BOSTON STRONG!!  WE ARE AMERICA AND WE ARE GOOD AND AWESOME AND YOU MAY TRY TO HURT US BUT WE WILL GET YOU AND TRIUMPH CAUSE WE ARE AMERICANS!!!  (but not in the bad post-9/11 going to Iraq for no reason kinda way)

We need more movies like Patriots Day – to remind us to never forget, and to remind us that it is possible that America and Americans can once again be united AND great (without the help of Donald Trump)… although hopefully without the catalyst being tragedy, which sadly shows us again and again that it is the worst in humanity that brings out our best!  If only we lived in a world where our best brought out our even besterer in humanity!!!!!!

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Patriots Day ALL DAY – currently in select cities, and at a theater near jews AND white nationalists this Friday

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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Chaz Hands

La La Land
Gosmancing The Stone
Official Site | Trailer & Mo
PG-13 | 128 min

You can have your Manchester By The Snoozes, I’ll have what Damien Chazelle is serving in La La Land – life, love, and the pursuit of making movies magical and fun again!

I hope you saw Damien’s Whiplash.  It’s like La La Land, but painful!  Pain is good, and usually makes for a better movie (and in this case, that is true, and in the case of Manchester By The Sea, it’s false), but pleasure is also important, and La La Land is a delectable slice of pleasure!

There is no current screen pairing more pleasureful than the screen pairing of Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone.  They made Crazy, Stupid, Love, not so stupid, and rather lovely!  They made for a welcome distraction in the distracting piece of garbage that was Gangster Squad.  In La La Land, they make us go ga ga for even more Gostone/Stonling pairings.  I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again – they need to never stop making Gosling-Stone movies.  Never.  They, being Hollywood, really should(n’t). Is there anyone out there that would disagree with such a statement?  Is there anyone out there in general still reading this site?  Gawd, are you there? It’s me, Margaret!

La La Land was a musical, but it didn’t really need all the jazz hands and songs and dances.  I mean, they were nice and all, but they could make a silent movie where Gosling and Stone work in a poop factory and we’d still fall in love with them.  Hmmm, I have a great idea for their next film – POOP FACTORY: A LOVE STORY!

Verdictgo: Jeepers Mos Def Worth A Peepers

La La already Landed at a theater near jews AND white nationalists

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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