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Here Comes Johnny Yen Again

T2 Trainspotting
Begbie, Borrow and/or Steal
Official Site | Trailer & Mo
R | 117 min

There are things in this world that are so great as is, that they are best left alone, and don’t require follow-ups, new editions or reinvention.  Just ask Coke, a 2nd Clinton in the White House, Star Wars prequels, and most sophomore albums of bands from the mid aughts

But in this day and age, nothing is sacred, and nothing is left alone (especially when name and brand recognition = eyeballs & $$$s), and the results have not only been NOT horrifying, but udderly fresh and fantastic.  We thought we had enough of Hannibal Lecter, but then came the brilliant TV show that perhaps outshone even Silence of the Lambs!  Or how about Bates Motel – which dared to breathe new life into the musty sports coat of Norman Bates, and the result was the furthest thing from sacrilege – it felt like home.  Even Star Wars was able to turn things around, outside of Lucas’ grip, bringing a force, back to the… force.  Heck, even Dumb and Dumber To somehow was able to recapture the same exact magic it brought to this world 20 years ago.  What all these entertainments have in common is the proper embrace of their grand pasts, but able to move forward WHILE being familiar

One thing I never thought I wanted was a 2nd helping of Trainspotting.  Yes, I know there was an Irvine Welsh book sequel, but the 1996 movie changed my life, and I didn’t want anything to change that.  It inspired me to never do heroin, live for Britpop music (can’t imagine my ears without Pulp & Blur), and even study abroad in the British Isles back in ’98.  Even made my way up to Edinburgh while there, to try and retrace the steps of Renton and Spud, but sadly, Google maps wasn’t in play til 2005, so I wasn’t able to do the proper locationspotting that I love to do

To this day, Danny Boyle‘s Trainspotting is tied for #1 on my list of the best of the bestest movies of balls thyme, along side It’s A Wonderful Life, A Clockwork Orange, Citizen Kane, Zodiac and Psycho (and maybe The Princess Bride).  I had seen the movie a bazillion times on VHS and DVD, but eased off of it for the past decade.  Then it was announced that Boyle and Ewan McGregor had finally made peace and were ready to move forward with a sequel  

Who am I to question a 2nd round, when all the principal people are involved, and it was going to happen no matter what my feelings were.  Well, it was certainly happening, and this meant I needed to see the original again, and luckily it played in a theater last month and I got reacquainted with my old friends, before I got to get reacquainted… with my old friends, in a sequel 21 years after the fact

I’m a different movie-goer these days.  I try not to, and usually don’t get excited about movies anymore.  You only burn yourself when you get yer hopes up way too high, and I’m tired of getting my hopes up, only to see my hopes sh!t upon (sports fandom taught me that the hard way).  So I was excited that there was going to be more of the Trainspotting crew in a cinematic form, but curbed my enthusiasm as much as humanly possible 

And so, I saw T2 Trainspotting, and…

  • if you were any kind of fan of #1, you MUST see #2.  it’s made for you (and me).  it’s NOT made for newcomers (or haters).  you can’t just jump into this world without #1, and you probably won’t like it as a stand alone film even if you did
  • it doesn’t really feel like a sequel.  it feels more like a remix extension, made with fresh paint, but using the same original tools (even writer John Hodge and producer Andrew Macdonald are back!).  a lot of the beloved songs from the original are actually remixed in the new one, and it doesn’t feel used, kinda new-sed.  speaking of – the music/soundtrack was of course brilliant, but not sure why no love for Damon Albarn?  they couldn’t fit a Gorillaz song in there??
  • the pacing works just as well as it did in the original, but the original was slightly over 90 minutes, and I felt like the new one should have followed suit, instead of hovering close to 2 hours.  not sure where to cut, but I’m not an editor
  • I was all for everything that happened in the movie, but there’s one scene late in the film that I felt was a little too dark, too bleak, and it briefly took away from my enjoyment of the film, and the series as a whole, but it is what it is, and perhaps it needed that bleak darkness in it. I mean, these films aren’t all fun and games, right?
  • after it was said and done, I felt that the plot wasn’t all that strong (when compared to #1s), and the new female character wasn’t all that well utilized, BUT, plain and simple – I loved the film and VERY happy it exists.  The movie juss made me happy.  It really did, and it’s obviously not a very happy movie.  I was happy to spend more time with my old pals Renton, and Ewen Bremner as Spud, and Jonny Lee Miller and Sick Boy, and even a few minutes of Kelly Macdonald as Diane (although I coulda handled like a few gajillion minutes with her)
  • but what am I most pleased with? Robert Carlyle‘s return as Begbie.  Begbie is my everything.  Always has been.  Begbie is Trainspotting‘s everything.  The time in between the two movies, he’s been stuck in jail.  I wish they would re-write that, and set him free, and literally make a series of Begbie movies, of Begbie being Begbie, Begbeing all over the place. [Update – THEY MAY JUST MAKE MY WISH COME TRUE!!!]  Begbie.  Just saying (or typing) his name brings joy to my soul.   Begbie is a horrible human being/character, but I beg for more Begbie.  Begbie, please always Beg-BE, and I will forever be spotting

Trainslurping: love the new girl Anjela Nedyalkova (even though she was underused)

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

T2 terminates your brain in limited release

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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Mommyknockers

get to the point…

Janet Leigh’s pointy boobs in 1958’s The Vikings!!

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Spinal Tapped For Greatness

Bleed For This
THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Official Site | Trailer & Mo
PG-13 | 117 min

bleed-for-this

Do you know the story of boxer Vinny Pazienza?  If not, stop reading and go see Bleed For This!

If you do, continue to read AND then go see Bleed For This!!

Everyone loves an movie about an underdog, hispecially a sports one, where our hero is fighting against all the odds, and coming out on top in the end!  Angelo Pizzo is THE guy to tell those stories.  Ever hear of Hoosiers or Rudy??  He’s that guy!  And he co-wrote this incredible true story for the big screen, for the guy who directed Boiler Room (Ben Younger), and for that dude who directed Raging Bull, who co-produced this movie.  What does that tell you about this movie?

What if they threw in Miles Teller as Vinny Paz?  Remember how many Miles of blood Teller bleed for that redonky donk drumming movie???  HE DOES IT HERE EVEN MORE!!!  THE WORD ‘BLEED‘ IS IN THE TITLE!!!  WHAT DOES THAT TELL YOU???  THAT HE WILL BLEED A LOT AND IT’S GOING TO BE PAINFULLY AWESOME!!!  I can also tell you that Miles Teller is incredible, here and for always!

And what if I told you that Aaron Eckhart was both unrecognizable AND fantastic in this movie?  He plays Vinny’s trainer Kevin Rooney (who also trained Mike Tyson!), and he’s both unrecognizable AND fantastic.  I TOLD YOU!  And he even shaved most of his forehead hair for the part!  Like some straight up Ruffalo Foxcatcher forehead shave job greatness!

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And what if I told you that the greatest living actor – Ciarán Hinds – was in it too?

And the Buffalo Bob killer from Silence of The Lambs?

And Katey Sagal too!?

And what if I told you that I love you?  Would you go see this movie??  OK, I love you!!! ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Welcome Back Hotter – Christine Evangelista, who we last/lust caught up with/on six years ago, is still super fine, and in Bleed For This, she boobs for us!!!  BOOBS!!!

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Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Bleed for it, currently in limited release

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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