Tag Archives: Breast In Show

Better Off Zed

The Lost City of Z
Hunnam Beef Cake
Official Site | Trailer & Mo
PG-13 | 141 min

We all have boners for Indiana Jones.  But what if I told you that there was a real Indiana Jones, but he didn’t necessarily find what he was looking for?  You probably have at least a halfie right now, right?  Left?

Well, there was once a British bloke named Percy Fawcett, who became obsessed with finding a lost city in the dense Amazonian jungles, in the early 20th Century.  He was like a (then) modern day conquistador, a dashing Don Quixote, tilting at windmills for something that may not even exist.  He tried again and again to find a lost city he called ‘Z’, before ultimately disappearing for good in his final attempt.  SPOILER ALERT!!!  But nothing can be spoiled by true facts…  facts spelled out in author David Grann‘s MOS eggsalad New Yorker article/turned book about Fawcett and his life’s yearning mission of discovery, which has now been transformed into a grand motion picture written and directed by James Gray – The Lost City of Z

Now before you get all excited to grab a whip and get a crackin’, you must know that Fawcett’s adventure isn’t even close to being on the level of anything that the great Dr Jones accomplished.  You would think that WOULD be the case by looking at the image above, but that’s just one tiny part.  When not dodging the natives, Fawcett and company are kept busy by chopping dense trees in the jungle, attracting diseases, losing supplies, and being away from family (his are played by Sienna Miller and Tom Holland) for years, but yet, never losing hope of finding Z

And we don’t lose hope in Fawcett or his convictions and dreams either, cause he flows so well in the acting body of Charlie Hunnam.  I haven’t seen Sons of Anarchy or anything else he’s been in (although apparently he was in Children of Men), so he’s all new to me.  Oh man, I now LOVES ME SOME HUNNAM BEEF!!!!  He’s like an equally as gruff/less obnoxious/easier to understand Tom Hardy!  He’s like Brad Pitt, but he can actually act!  I know we’re half-ish way through the cinematic year, but it’s gonna be tough for anyone to top the Indiana Jonesing hard-on I have for Charlie as Percy.  Man o man!  BREAST IN SHOW ACTING!!  Hunnam as Fawcett – my cup runneth over!!!

But like I said, you may be put off by a movie about discovery that actually doesn’t really discover anything, but you will at least discover how incredible Charlie Hunnam (and his mustache) is (and how Robert Pattinson is also pretty darn good too… looking like Fagin from Oliver Twist)

I hope you found what you were looking for Percy, and are still chilling in Z!  Z’s nuts!

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Lost is FOUND currently at a theater near jews AND white nationalists

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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Here Comes Johnny Yen Again

T2 Trainspotting
Begbie, Borrow and/or Steal
Official Site | Trailer & Mo
R | 117 min

There are things in this world that are so great as is, that they are best left alone, and don’t require follow-ups, new editions or reinvention.  Just ask Coke, a 2nd Clinton in the White House, Star Wars prequels, and most sophomore albums of bands from the mid aughts

But in this day and age, nothing is sacred, and nothing is left alone (especially when name and brand recognition = eyeballs & $$$s), and the results have not only been NOT horrifying, but udderly fresh and fantastic.  We thought we had enough of Hannibal Lecter, but then came the brilliant TV show that perhaps outshone even Silence of the Lambs!  Or how about Bates Motel – which dared to breathe new life into the musty sports coat of Norman Bates, and the result was the furthest thing from sacrilege – it felt like home.  Even Star Wars was able to turn things around, outside of Lucas’ grip, bringing a force, back to the… force.  Heck, even Dumb and Dumber To somehow was able to recapture the same exact magic it brought to this world 20 years ago.  What all these entertainments have in common is the proper embrace of their grand pasts, but able to move forward WHILE being familiar

One thing I never thought I wanted was a 2nd helping of Trainspotting.  Yes, I know there was an Irvine Welsh book sequel, but the 1996 movie changed my life, and I didn’t want anything to change that.  It inspired me to never do heroin, live for Britpop music (can’t imagine my ears without Pulp & Blur), and even study abroad in the British Isles back in ’98.  Even made my way up to Edinburgh while there, to try and retrace the steps of Renton and Spud, but sadly, Google maps wasn’t in play til 2005, so I wasn’t able to do the proper locationspotting that I love to do

To this day, Danny Boyle‘s Trainspotting is tied for #1 on my list of the best of the bestest movies of balls thyme, along side It’s A Wonderful Life, A Clockwork Orange, Citizen Kane, Zodiac and Psycho (and maybe The Princess Bride).  I had seen the movie a bazillion times on VHS and DVD, but eased off of it for the past decade.  Then it was announced that Boyle and Ewan McGregor had finally made peace and were ready to move forward with a sequel  

Who am I to question a 2nd round, when all the principal people are involved, and it was going to happen no matter what my feelings were.  Well, it was certainly happening, and this meant I needed to see the original again, and luckily it played in a theater last month and I got reacquainted with my old friends, before I got to get reacquainted… with my old friends, in a sequel 21 years after the fact

I’m a different movie-goer these days.  I try not to, and usually don’t get excited about movies anymore.  You only burn yourself when you get yer hopes up way too high, and I’m tired of getting my hopes up, only to see my hopes sh!t upon (sports fandom taught me that the hard way).  So I was excited that there was going to be more of the Trainspotting crew in a cinematic form, but curbed my enthusiasm as much as humanly possible 

And so, I saw T2 Trainspotting, and…

  • if you were any kind of fan of #1, you MUST see #2.  it’s made for you (and me).  it’s NOT made for newcomers (or haters).  you can’t just jump into this world without #1, and you probably won’t like it as a stand alone film even if you did
  • it doesn’t really feel like a sequel.  it feels more like a remix extension, made with fresh paint, but using the same original tools (even writer John Hodge and producer Andrew Macdonald are back!).  a lot of the beloved songs from the original are actually remixed in the new one, and it doesn’t feel used, kinda new-sed.  speaking of – the music/soundtrack was of course brilliant, but not sure why no love for Damon Albarn?  they couldn’t fit a Gorillaz song in there??
  • the pacing works just as well as it did in the original, but the original was slightly over 90 minutes, and I felt like the new one should have followed suit, instead of hovering close to 2 hours.  not sure where to cut, but I’m not an editor
  • I was all for everything that happened in the movie, but there’s one scene late in the film that I felt was a little too dark, too bleak, and it briefly took away from my enjoyment of the film, and the series as a whole, but it is what it is, and perhaps it needed that bleak darkness in it. I mean, these films aren’t all fun and games, right?
  • after it was said and done, I felt that the plot wasn’t all that strong (when compared to #1s), and the new female character wasn’t all that well utilized, BUT, plain and simple – I loved the film and VERY happy it exists.  The movie juss made me happy.  It really did, and it’s obviously not a very happy movie.  I was happy to spend more time with my old pals Renton, and Ewen Bremner as Spud, and Jonny Lee Miller and Sick Boy, and even a few minutes of Kelly Macdonald as Diane (although I coulda handled like a few gajillion minutes with her)
  • but what am I most pleased with? Robert Carlyle‘s return as Begbie.  Begbie is my everything.  Always has been.  Begbie is Trainspotting‘s everything.  The time in between the two movies, he’s been stuck in jail.  I wish they would re-write that, and set him free, and literally make a series of Begbie movies, of Begbie being Begbie, Begbeing all over the place. [Update – THEY MAY JUST MAKE MY WISH COME TRUE!!!]  Begbie.  Just saying (or typing) his name brings joy to my soul.   Begbie is a horrible human being/character, but I beg for more Begbie.  Begbie, please always Beg-BE, and I will forever be spotting

Trainslurping: love the new girl Anjela Nedyalkova (even though she was underused)

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

T2 terminates your brain in limited release

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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Bat Out of Hellz Yeah!!!

The LEGO® Batman Movie
Boy Wonder Boys
Official Site | Trailer & Mo
PG | 104 min

Like me, you’re human.  Like me, you LOVED The LEGO® Movie!!!  Everything about it was awesome, especially the Batman parts, and so when they decided to make a LEGO® Batman Movie, of course you and I had to see it, and of course we knew it was gonna be AND actually would be equally as AWESOME as the other LEGO® movie was!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Batman and the Gotham universe is rich in everything – characters, scenery, color, darkness, awesomeness, and history – and it’s all on display, tongue in cheek, in another mad dash of 100 minutes of LEGO® brick building (and destroying) fun for all ages  

The thing about these LEGO® movies vs actual movies is that the possibilities of what they can do is limitless.  When they make a real Batman movie with humans, they are limited.  They can’t have too much fun, and they can’t do everything.  Well, EVERYTHING happened in this LEGO® Batman Movie, and even though it’s seems like they did everything, I’m sure it won’t be hard for them to top this if they go for a 2nd round of LEGO® Batman Movie (please Lord, make it happen)  

To be honest – this one LEGO® Batman Movie was more entertaining than anything Christopher Nolan ever did with the character, or in fact, any super hero movie released this century done did!  Like LEGO® Batman’s password would say – IRON MAN SUCKS!!!

I don’t see a lot of animated movies, mainly cause I’m an adult without kids (and would much rather see a documentary or an old black & white movie), and mainly cause they don’t make them like they used to, but whatever they’re doing when making these LEGO® movies, they need to NEVER stop, EVER with them

They need to take EVERY existing franchise and turn them into LEGO® movies.  I’m sure they’ll eventually somehow make a Star Wars one, and when they do, it will be better than the new Star Wars movies they’ve been making.  IT WILL BE TRUE!!!

Wouldn’t you rather see young Han Solo as a LEGO®, then as a human who isn’t Harrison Ford?

LEGO® my eggo!!!  And my Solo!!!

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Batman is batsh!t awesome at a theater near jews AND white nationalists 

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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Riff Notes of a Native Son

I Am Not Your Negro
Race Yourselves
Official Site | Trailer & Mo
PG-13 | 95 min

The most important movie of 2016 (which is now getting a full release in 2017, so I guess that makes it the most important movie of 2017) is Raoul Peck‘s I Am Not Your Negro

YESS!!!  It’s true!!!!

One can never truly understand what it’s like to be an African-American in America (especially when you aren’t one), but I’ve never seen a more clear and concise explanation and examination than in the MUST see doc I Am Not Your Negro

I knew who James Baldwin was, but since we were never required to read his works in high school, I never bothered with him.  Silly me.  All I knew was that he had kinda buggy eyes and that my English teacher really liked his work, and I trusted her judgement (and so did Tori Amos!!!)

Negro is based on Baldwin’s unfinished manuscript Remember This House (he died in 1987), which aimed to examine racism in America, through the vital lives, and violent deaths of his contemporaries and comrades – Medgar Evers, Malcolm X and Martin Luther King Jr

Knowing those men, and being a gifted (black) intellectual and writer gave Baldwin a great understanding of America and its race issues, but moving to France in the late 40s, and living in self-exile there, gave him and even more unique perspective – being able to look at America and its problems from the outside, and at a distance

The doc uses only Baldwin’s words and work – the unfinished manuscript, other writings (all spoken by a surprisingly unassuming Samuel L Jackson) along with interviews, lectures and debates caught on camera.  We get a portrait not only of America, but of the man himself.  In both ways, it works brilliantly.  It also not only works as a history lesson, but as a wake-up call about how the issue of race in America has never gone away

I Am Not Your Negro will continue to be the most important film of any year – until there is no longer an issue of race in America.  Good luck with that

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Negro is not not at a theater near jews AND white nationalists and not negros

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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Beholden Arches

The Founder
The Big Mac Daddy
Official Site | Trailer & Mo
PG-13 | 115 min

As a kid my love for McDonald’s was beyond super-sized.  As an adult, I haven’t abandoned the golden arches, but I certainly don’t eat there as much as I did as an ultra-happy Happy Meal youngin 

Anywho, I always remembered seeing this plaque in our local Maccy D’s…

And I was like, who’s Ray Kroc?  And why isn’t his last name McDonald??  And what up wit dat???  I didn’t bother to ever ask my parents these questions, so I kept these questions to myself

The rise of the internet somehow never moved me to look further into this, and so I am thankful that the answers in the John Lee Hancock directed, and Robert Siegel written story of how Ray Kroc became Mr McDonald’s, and the McDonald brothers became a footnote in their own invention could be found in The Founder

Kroc (an excellent, cold AND hot Michael Keaton) was a struggling milkshake salesman, when a chance encounter with Richard and Maurice McDonald (a less annoying/mustached than usual Nick Offerman, and the mad round of awesomeness John Carroll Lynch) and their bustling, innovative namesake burger joint in San Bernardino, California, changed the fortunes and futures of all involved

Dick and Mac McDonald created McDonald’s, but with their permission, they unleashed Kroc to make their modern fast food franchise into a giant reality, and created a monster in the process.  The Brothers wanted to retain and maintain control, but as the brand grew under Kroc’s stewardship, they lost more and more of it, to the point where they were cut out completely

The story of McDonald’s is the story of America – capitalism, efficiency, grease, greed – all done with a smile, no matter how crooked that smile is on the inside

Mr Kroc, you may not be the greatest human being, but don’t you have to crack a few eggs to make an omelette?  I mean, without him, would you have ever even had a childhood?

For me, the answer is’ no’, and the same goes with Dave Thomas, the founder of Wendy’s.  I want to hear his story.  He was adopted AND he worked under Colonel Sanders!!

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Founder is found at a theater near jews AND white nationalists 

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

0 Comments
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