Tag Archives: Breast In Show

Rob Peter To Pay Paul Peter

Hell or High Water
Bank Shot
Official Site | Trailer & Mo
R | 102 min

hell-or-high-water-mustaches

Cops!  Robbers!  Cowboys!  Injuns!  Texas!  Dust!  MUSTaches!!!!!!!!!  Captain Kirk with one particularly MUST must MUSTache!!  That crazy actor dude who was banging Sean Penn’s ex-wife playing crazy, and wily, and crazy wily!!  (I mean, can he play anything else?  would you want him to?)

hell-or-high-water

Jeff Bridges with a strange accent but he kinda disappears into that strange accent!!  His partner that sorta looks like my uncle!

It’s the David Mackenzie directed film from Taylor Sheridan‘s script – Hell or High Water!! 

There’s not much hell or water, but plenty of thirsting, for dollars, and doing things right, even if they have to be done in a wrong way!  

The plot is this – two guys rob banks and then re-pay outstanding debts to the very same banks they juss stole from with the money they stole!  It’s like robbing Peter to pay Paul Peter!!!  Woah!!!!  

And man, those Texas vistas are beautiful!

And this girl – Melanie Papalia – who played a hooker – has some nice vistas of her own!

mel-paps

melanie-papalia-2

melanie-papalia

Verdictgo:  Breast In Show

douse Hell with Water, currently in limited release

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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Handler Chesley

Sully
Winging It
Official Site | Trailer & Mo
PG-13 | 96 min

sully

You know the story – a plane is in mad flying trouble and a mild-mannered pilot with an awesome white mustache lands the plane in the Hudson River with zero casualties.  IT’S THE MIRACLE ON THE HUDSON!!!  (like Moscow Over The Hudson, but less Russian, but in even more of a hurry).  But did you know our dear Captain was questioned after the fact by our government for how he saved lives????  Thanks for doing your job guy, now lets tell you how you did it wrong!!  And did you know that his co-pilot had an equally awesome MUSTache???????

What could have easily been a good Lifetime movie, is an even better Clint Eastwood film (and even better than the fictional downer Flight), even though the conclusion is no surprise, and there’s about 4 minutes of actual story… or so you might think.  Well, every story needs a bad guys, and ours are a bunch of bad white dude investigators from the NTSB.  DAMN YOU!!! YOU ARE EVEN WORSER THAN NKOTB!!!!!

Whatevs, our angel in the sky –  Chesley ‘Sully’ Sullenberger is a fcuking hero above many other fucking awesome heroes, and of course everything’s gonna be alright – CAUSE HOW COULD YOU CONDEMN A MAN WHO SAVED PEOPLE!?!?!??!?  AND DID WE MENTION HIS CO-PILOT (JEFF SKILES) AND HIS CO-AWESOMESZOZ MUSTACHIO???

sully-skiles

I know you think it’s funny that Tom Hanks always gets himself into travel trouble in the movies that he’s in, and that we should never travel with him – but that’s the dumbest thing (and meme) I’ve ever heard.  What, you want to travel with handsome dudes like Brad Pitt or George Clooney?  Those dudes don’t stand a chance.  They’d drown cause they’d be too busy combing they’d hairs!!!  Tom Hanks is the captain – now AND forever.  Those other dudes are just pretty window dressing, or aisle dressing, or middle seat dressing, and they’d not really all that good at acting etiher.  It’s hard to sympathize with beauty.  I’m with everyman Hanks, thru thick or thin, staying afloat or sunk as the Cleveland Browns playoff chances.  Hanks for the memories Tom, now and forever.  Fly us to the moon, or to the bottom of the sea, and we’ll come and see it, no matter what your final disaster destination is

Verdictgo:  Breast In Show

Sully soars the unfriendly skies at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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Aqua Valentine

The Light Between Oceans
The Shore Thing
Official Site | Trailer & Mo
PG-13 | 132 min

light between oceans

The summer bummers of moviedom is officially over, and the season of actual good movies is upon us, and what a way to kick the season off with Derek Cianfrance‘s The Light Between Oceans!

WWI is over and shell-shocked survivor Michael Fassbender is looking for steady work.  He looks no further when he becomes a lighthouse keeper off the coast of Australia.  He enjoys the quiet solitary job and life, but things aint so quiet or solitary no more when a lovely lady of the shore – Alicia Vikander – anchors away on his heart!  She literally wants to marry a lighthouse keeper AND DOES (and the two actors fell in love f’reals on the set)!!!  They try for kids but miscarriage and become very disparaged.  Then a dead man and an alive baby wash up on their lighthouse shores and change everything!!  EVERYTHING!!! They assume the parentage of the orphaned child and life moves on.  BUT DOES IT???  What about the baby’s mother???  To say anything more about the plot would be saying more about the plot, but all I’ll say is that Rachel Weisz is in the movie too, and the trailer spoils the movie, so don’t watch the trailer

I don’t know much about who Derek Cianfrance is as a person, cept he’s a guy who makes movies – and I fcuking love him cause of the movies he makes!  His debut – Blue Valentine – is still giving my heart painful palpitations (in a good bad way), and his follow-up – The Place Beyond The Pines – is another painful place I think of fondly.  And with his third feature – The Light Between Oceans – all I can say is SURF’S UP, YO!  Actually, that’s not all I can say.  I would say that this is somehow his LEAST painful movie (but don’t worry pain-freaks, there’s still plenty of pain to ‘enjoy’ here), but perhaps it is his most beautiful film yet!  So beautiful that I don’t juss want to marry the lighthouse keeper, I want to marry that fcuking lighthouse too!

the-light-between-the-oceansthe-light-between-the-oceans

Verdictgo:  Breast In Show

Oceans sets sail today at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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Throw Me My Idols

Raiders!: The Story of the Greatest Fan Film Ever Made
Whip Smart
Website | Trailers & Mo
Not Rated | 104 min

raiders dudes

Sometimes there is actual truth in advertising – as is such when a documentary called Raiders!: The Story of the Greatest Fan Film Ever Made documents the past, present and future of Raiders of the Lost Ark: The Adaptation – which is, without a doubt, the greatest fan film ever made.  If you’ve never seen it – you need to.  You really do!  I had the good fortune of seeing the film 5 years ago and it blew my childish mind, and met the (now) adult guys who made their childhood dreams by remaking their favorite film, starting in 1982… and never really finishing it

The filmmakers and stars – Chris StrompolosEric Zala, Jayson Lamb and their friends – did as much as they could on their small allowances, availble resources, and summers off from school – but never completed the airplane scene (you know, with the explosions and shirtless Nazi brute getting his head chopped off).  Time passed, relationships fizzled, the boys became men, married – with children, but the itch was still there – to finish the Adaptation once and for all, and so the boys did a Kickstarter – raised funds, completed the airplane scene – and finished the film.  BOOOM!  Sounds like a walk in the park, right?  Well, to get from the start to this finish was not only a labor of love, it was a laborious love with MANY a skipped and stop heartbeats

All of this, AND MORE, is covered in the fun fun fun documentary (that I actually saw 5 years to the very day that I saw the Adaptation!!!!!!), based on Alan Eisenstock’s book of the same name, and all of this AND that continues to blow my childish mind.  What these kids did, and what these adults have done continue to endlessly inspire me and inspire endless awe in my eyes, mind, heart and soul, endlessly – WITHOUT END!!!!!  They lived out their childhood dreams, while children!!!  Something most of us have never done.  BLESS THESE BOYS (men)!!!

The original film they made sometimes plays in theaters, but is now finally available on DVD and digital download [disclosure – I actually helped to put the disc together for them in my day job], and if you buy it, you help to support these guys who deserve your support (because I said so!).  Maybe they’ll take the money and remake Zardoz.  MAYBE!!!

VerdictgoBreast In Show

Raiders! is found ark art currently in limited release, and the fellas are touring with the doc, so see them in your city!

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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Streit Shooters

Streit’s: Matzo and the American Dream
Streit From The Heart
Official Website, Trailers & Mo
Unrated | 100 min

streits matzo doc

Tradition is tradition – even if tradition has to modernize to adapt to a modern world.  Passover is one of the oldest holidays, and matzah (or matzo for those who spell it that way) has been the food of Passover forever, and for the past century, Streit’s Matzos has been one of the major companies supplying the tasteless holy crackers to practitioners.  While their competitors have been bought up big larger corporations, and they’ve seen increased newer competition from cheaper brands abroad, the STILL family-owned AND run Streit team have been keeping it real, baking in the very same New York City – Lower East Side factory since day one!

But times have changed.  Their customers left the neighborhood years and years ago, and so with it, most of the heavily Jewish businesses that were there to support the community.  And while gentrification has greatly changed the heart and soul of the nabe, nothing could alter the Streit’s way.  Sure, they had outgrown the archaic factory in which they occupied, and the cost of doing actual business meant that they had to charge their customers more than they’d like to, but tradition is tradition – right?

Michael Levine‘s lovely new documentary Streit’s: Matzo and the American Dream over-examines the company’s struggle of staying true to the past, while trying to be realsitic about the present and future.  And while the same argument is made over and over, it didn’t matter much to me having the same paradoxical point hammered home again and again – cause you enjoy meeting and spending time with the family and their factory workers (who are like their extended family) over and over, and going up and down and back and forth thru their the labyrinthine factory, cause this is matzah history – living and breathing!

Take a bite of this doc, even if matzah has no taste, and even if you’re aren’t Jewish – cause you don’t have to be Jewish to love a good American story, about family, and crackers!

VerdictgoBreast In Show

Matzo matzgoes here and there in very limited release

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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