Tag Archives: Breast In Show

Up! Up! & Hathaway

Interstellar
Somewhere Between 2001 and 2010, so 2005?
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 169 min

Christopher Nolan is back!!!! In my mind at least. Didn’t care for his last Batman, nor Inception, which in retrospect was a lame dream within a lame dream within a lame dream

Maybe I needed some space from Nolan, or maybe Nolan needed to go to space. AND HE DID!!! IN SPADES!!! WHATEVER ‘IN SPADES‘ MEANS!!! Sure, it’s no 2001: A Space Odyssey, but it definitely wishes it was. Don’t we all

it was actually like this – in pictures (spoilers-ish ahead!)…

Matthew McConaughey likes to drive his big car
mcoughney drives

IN LIKE SMALLVILLE OR SOMETHING!
smallville 1978

And his daughter is Renesmee!
Renesmee

and like the Dust Bowl is happening or something
buster blown

and books are acting ghostly
ghost book

and everything we know is a lie
fake moon landing

and the earth is dying and all we have left is corn
bay corn hanks

and NASA is like in the same building as the WOPR was
WOPR

but the WOPR is now like some robot with no head but with crazy CRAZY crazy-assed legs
tars

which kinda reminds me of the best logo ever – the 70s WB one

anywho, McConaughey is like the last Starfighter
last starfighter

so says Michael Caine

but there are like 3 other starfighters joining him, including a not TOO annoying Anne Hathaway
anne hatwhay

and then typical space and movie space stuff happens…

legos astronaut

2001 ship

space call

space stuff

captain eo

cat pizza space

and then there’s some planetary visitations, to see if we could live there!

waterworld

hoth

and then there’s madness

and space lights

and some like dumb hokey Contact sh!t
contacy

and then a whole lot of stuff I don’t understand what they were talkin bout Willis
science

and then Elysium/70s future or something

and then some Benjamin Button type stuff pushing the kinda right AND wrong buttons at the same time
cate button

the end

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Interstellar is spaceballin’ at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

0 Comments

Jake Gyllenhaal Is Watching You

Nightcrawler
Jeepers Creepers Peepers
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 117 min

Dude, Dan Gilroy‘s Nightcrawler is some creepy creeper creepenstein stuffs. It’s about Jake Gyanlennelhallll being a super creep with super super super creepy eyes and creeping the heck out of people with creepy stuff he films, to sell to TV stations (and like creeping out old hottie Rene Russo and creeping her into like doing sexual things to him… offscreen!! it’s like the first movie of this century with lots of sexual tension that doesn’t resort to showing sex!!!)

Look, don’t get me wrong, Jake Gynnahhaenhahhyall has always had super intense creeper peepers, but in Nightcrawler, it’s like 10zillionfold creeper creeps!!!!

creepy jake

creepy jake2

jcreeps

jake watching

gylenhalll creepers

creeps

jake creepy

jake creep nigt

jake creep nigt2

nightcrawler

creepy jake nightcrawler

jake crazy eyes

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Nightcrawler bugs you like Gynenhahhhall’s eyes, at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Jake Gyllenhaal is watching you

0 Comments

ALL IN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Step Up All In
Sweating To The Newbies
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 112 min

step up all in

DUDE!!!

step up ani3

THEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

step up ani2

TOTALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

step up ani2

STEPPED UP A FIFTH TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

step up ani4

AND WE AND THEY WERE ALL IN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BEST STEP UP MOVIE EVER!!!!!!!!!!! (maybe) (probably)

[reviews of #1 | #2 DA STREETS | #3-D | Peter Gallagher’s Eyebrows Up]

Guess what my favorite modern movie franchise is? DAT RIGHT – STEP UP!!!!! These movies doesn’ts have people with super powers CAUSE THE ONLY POWER THEY NEED IS DANCE!!! And it doesn’t have stupid CG or things than transform, UNLESS YOU COUNT THESE MOVIES TRANSFORMING YOUR LIFE LIKE THEY HAVE ME!!! The only way these movies could blow is if George Lucas took a shot at one and made gungans dance

Do you like fun and being happy? If so, YOU MUST SEE ALL 5 STEP UP MOVIES AND HAVE FUN AND BE HAPPY LIKE ME AND ALL THE PEOPLES WHO HAVE IS BE!!!

Oh what, you want plot?? WELL #5 GOT PLOT!!!! THEY HAVE TO DANCE TO LIVE AND THEY LIVE TO DANCE!!!! AND MAYBE WIN A CONTEST!!! AND FIND LOVE!!!! AND BATTLE AND CONQUEROR ADVERSITY!!!!! AND DANCE!!!!!!!!!!! IN VEGAS!!!!!!

AND MOOSE IS BACK AND BRIANA EVIGAN AND SHE SO CUTE AND HOT!!! AND SO IS THE CUTE GUY FROM THE LAST MOVIEE!!!

moose and crew

AND THERE WAS THIS NEW GUY DAVID SHREIBMAN AND HE WAS LIKE THE BEST!!! HE NEEDS HIS OWN SPINOFF MOVIE CALLED STEP SIDEWAYS WITH CHAD!!!

chad step up

AND THERE WAS THIS GUY STEPHEN STEVO JONES WHO WAS SO BADASS AND VERY MARKY MARK LIKE AND WE WISH HE WAS MARKY MARK!!!

steve steveo

OH MAN, AND THERE WAS SOME CRAZY SHIZ GOING ON WITH THE GIRL THAT WAS IN COYOTE UGLYIZABELLA MIKO – LIKE SHE WAS ALL LIKE HUNGER GAMES AND STUFF AND CRAZY!!!!

izabella_miko step up

step up miko

Please Lord Jesus Moses F Christ F Murray Abraham – if you really the lord, please let there be another Step Up movie. I promise to step up and maybe eat microwaved tunafish

Verdictgo: Breast In Show, duh

get All In before it’s too late

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

0 Comments

The Brotherhood of the Traveling Rants

The Trip to Italy
Buono Voyage
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
Unrated | 108 min

the trip to italy

Two British guys walk into a restaurant and hilarity ensues. Have you heard this one before? Yep – it was called The Trip, a British TV series, directed by boy wonderful Michael Winterbottom, and starring comedy stalwarts Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon – that was a travelogue of sorts, as the pair made their way thru the English countryside for fine dinning, and fine banter, and endless laughter for anyone who watched it. The TV series was edited down for America into a marvelous little movie, and it was surely a Trip well worth taking

Well, the trio of blokes are back, but this time they’re indulging in pasta in The Trip to Italy. Sequels rarely equal or top the original, a topic Coogan and Brydon tackle right off the bat (everyone uses Godfather II as an example, but what other examples are there?), and any thought of this follow-up being a sub-par affair are gone in 60 seconds. The imitations are back, and even if they sound familiar, they sound better than ever!!!! But what really works about round 2, besides the Italian scenery and the chewing of it, is that Coogan (or Coogan’s character of himself) seems more relaxed in this venture, leaving little room for un-needed drama, and more room for always needed stupidity/comedy

The only thing wrong with this movie is that the trip comes to an end, but for those who want more – there is more – the Italian job was slimmed down from a TV series too, and so I will be seeking out the full episodes, and I’m sure you will too!

Where to next boys? Count us in, times a bajillions

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Embark on The Trip To Italy – in limited release today

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

0 Comments

What If/TF

Jodorowsky’s Dune
Mœbius Strip Tease
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 90 min

dune book

The greatest movie never made is probably/maybe Jodorowsky’s Dune. Who is Jodorwsky? I’ve never seen a single one of Jodo’s movies, but from the looks and sounds of em – namely El Topo and Holy Mountain – they look and sound beyond batshit crazy, and I need to see them YESTERDAY!! Well apparently Mr Jodorwsky was riding such a creative and critical wave after completing them movies in 70s and that he had carte blanche in choosing his next project, and so he chose the dense & sandy Frank Herbert Dune book(s). Jodorowsky never read the book(s), but that mattered little to this visionary, ready to unleash his vision that would send his audience on a vision quest. All he needed was some ‘warriors’ ready to make a movie of supreme consciousness, which would make its viewers feel like they were on drugs without even taking them (paraphrasing his words). He had the whole thing ready to go – frame by frame storyboards + a creative army to end all creative armies – Salvador Dalí, Orson Welles, Mick Jagger, artists HR Giger, Chris Foss and Mœbius, effects man Dan O’Bannon + music by Pink Floyd. Yep, THIS WAS GONNA BE THE MOST BANANANANANANAAS PROJECT EVER!!!

dune storyboards

As you might have guessed, his Dune was never made (David Lynch later got the dis-honor), for numerous reasons (being 10+ hours probably wouldn’t work in Hollywood), but Frank Pavich‘s fun and frustrated doc relishes the mind in that big ‘what if’ (it got made), and if it did, WHAT THE FCUK!!! Sure, Dali and Orson and others are dead, but Jodo aint, so why not make it now?!??!?!? Jodorowsky’s Dune doesn’t have to stay forever doomed. Even Terry Gilliam hasn’t given up on his Don Quixote

giger dune

Verdictgo: this is essential viewing – Breast In Show

Jodorwsky’s Dune LIVES on BD/DVD/streaming!

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

jodo

0 Comments
eXTReMe Tracker