Tag Archives: Breast In Show

ALL IN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Step Up All In
Sweating To The Newbies
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 112 min

step up all in

DUDE!!!

step up ani3

THEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

step up ani2

TOTALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

step up ani2

STEPPED UP A FIFTH TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

step up ani4

AND WE AND THEY WERE ALL IN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BEST STEP UP MOVIE EVER!!!!!!!!!!! (maybe) (probably)

[reviews of #1 | #2 DA STREETS | #3-D | Peter Gallagher's Eyebrows Up]

Guess what my favorite modern movie franchise is? DAT RIGHT – STEP UP!!!!! These movies doesn’ts have people with super powers CAUSE THE ONLY POWER THEY NEED IS DANCE!!! And it doesn’t have stupid CG or things than transform, UNLESS YOU COUNT THESE MOVIES TRANSFORMING YOUR LIFE LIKE THEY HAVE ME!!! The only way these movies could blow is if George Lucas took a shot at one and made gungans dance

Do you like fun and being happy? If so, YOU MUST SEE ALL 5 STEP UP MOVIES AND HAVE FUN AND BE HAPPY LIKE ME AND ALL THE PEOPLES WHO HAVE IS BE!!!

Oh what, you want plot?? WELL #5 GOT PLOT!!!! THEY HAVE TO DANCE TO LIVE AND THEY LIVE TO DANCE!!!! AND MAYBE WIN A CONTEST!!! AND FIND LOVE!!!! AND BATTLE AND CONQUEROR ADVERSITY!!!!! AND DANCE!!!!!!!!!!! IN VEGAS!!!!!!

AND MOOSE IS BACK AND BRIANA EVIGAN AND SHE SO CUTE AND HOT!!! AND SO IS THE CUTE GUY FROM THE LAST MOVIEE!!!

moose and crew

AND THERE WAS THIS NEW GUY DAVID SHREIBMAN AND HE WAS LIKE THE BEST!!! HE NEEDS HIS OWN SPINOFF MOVIE CALLED STEP SIDEWAYS WITH CHAD!!!

chad step up

AND THERE WAS THIS GUY STEPHEN STEVO JONES WHO WAS SO BADASS AND VERY MARKY MARK LIKE AND WE WISH HE WAS MARKY MARK!!!

steve steveo

OH MAN, AND THERE WAS SOME CRAZY SHIZ GOING ON WITH THE GIRL THAT WAS IN COYOTE UGLYIZABELLA MIKO – LIKE SHE WAS ALL LIKE HUNGER GAMES AND STUFF AND CRAZY!!!!

izabella_miko step up

step up miko

Please Lord Jesus Moses F Christ F Murray Abraham – if you really the lord, please let there be another Step Up movie. I promise to step up and maybe eat microwaved tunafish

Verdictgo: Breast In Show, duh

get All In before it’s too late

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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The Brotherhood of the Traveling Rants

The Trip to Italy
Buono Voyage
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
Unrated | 108 min

the trip to italy

Two British guys walk into a restaurant and hilarity ensues. Have you heard this one before? Yep – it was called The Trip, a British TV series, directed by boy wonderful Michael Winterbottom, and starring comedy stalwarts Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon – that was a travelogue of sorts, as the pair made their way thru the English countryside for fine dinning, and fine banter, and endless laughter for anyone who watched it. The TV series was edited down for America into a marvelous little movie, and it was surely a Trip well worth taking

Well, the trio of blokes are back, but this time they’re indulging in pasta in The Trip to Italy. Sequels rarely equal or top the original, a topic Coogan and Brydon tackle right off the bat (everyone uses Godfather II as an example, but what other examples are there?), and any thought of this follow-up being a sub-par affair are gone in 60 seconds. The imitations are back, and even if they sound familiar, they sound better than ever!!!! But what really works about round 2, besides the Italian scenery and the chewing of it, is that Coogan (or Coogan’s character of himself) seems more relaxed in this venture, leaving little room for un-needed drama, and more room for always needed stupidity/comedy

The only thing wrong with this movie is that the trip comes to an end, but for those who want more – there is more – the Italian job was slimmed down from a TV series too, and so I will be seeking out the full episodes, and I’m sure you will too!

Where to next boys? Count us in, times a bajillions

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Embark on The Trip To Italy – in limited release today

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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What If/TF

Jodorowsky’s Dune
Mœbius Strip Tease
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 90 min

dune book

The greatest movie never made is probably/maybe Jodorowsky’s Dune. Who is Jodorwsky? I’ve never seen a single one of Jodo’s movies, but from the looks and sounds of em – namely El Topo and Holy Mountain – they look and sound beyond batshit crazy, and I need to see them YESTERDAY!! Well apparently Mr Jodorwsky was riding such a creative and critical wave after completing them movies in 70s and that he had carte blanche in choosing his next project, and so he chose the dense & sandy Frank Herbert Dune book(s). Jodorowsky never read the book(s), but that mattered little to this visionary, ready to unleash his vision that would send his audience on a vision quest. All he needed was some ‘warriors’ ready to make a movie of supreme consciousness, which would make its viewers feel like they were on drugs without even taking them (paraphrasing his words). He had the whole thing ready to go – frame by frame storyboards + a creative army to end all creative armies – Salvador Dalí, Orson Welles, Mick Jagger, artists HR Giger, Chris Foss and Mœbius, effects man Dan O’Bannon + music by Pink Floyd. Yep, THIS WAS GONNA BE THE MOST BANANANANANANAAS PROJECT EVER!!!

dune storyboards

As you might have guessed, his Dune was never made (David Lynch later got the dis-honor), for numerous reasons (being 10+ hours probably wouldn’t work in Hollywood), but Frank Pavich‘s fun and frustrated doc relishes the mind in that big ‘what if’ (it got made), and if it did, WHAT THE FCUK!!! Sure, Dali and Orson and others are dead, but Jodo aint, so why not make it now?!??!?!? Jodorowsky’s Dune doesn’t have to stay forever doomed. Even Terry Gilliam hasn’t given up on his Don Quixote

giger dune

Verdictgo: this is essential viewing – Breast In Show

Jodorwsky’s Dune LIVES on BD/DVD/streaming!

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

jodo

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Ape Man Out

Dawn of The Planet of The Apes
Hail & Hearty Caesar!
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 130 min

dawn planet apes

Dude, I am all about planets and apes and the’s and of’s.  So when all those things come together- BLAZZZZZZZZZZZZAMO – my eyes and ears and brain may explode!!!!!!!!  They have, and they did!!!  I am so about Planets of Apes.  I’ve seen them all – even the crappy ones – and in some ways, they are all awesome – unless Tim Burton had something to do with them.  20th Century Fox was wise to start over with the dusty and musty Apes franchise.  They did a wonderful job with started over #1 – Rise of The Planet of The Apes – giving us something old, but making it feel entirely new, although I slightly miss seeing men and women in dumb ape costumes!

Well, the old-new juss got old-newer, and iMuss say, even betterer!!!!!!!!!!!  Director Matt Reeves takes over in round 2 with Dawn of The Planet of The Apes, and everything is not only bigger – it’s even betterereeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrr.  I know I already said that, but had to say it again, so you know I’m being serious, cause I seriously love this Ape movie, cause it’s even betterererrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

Andy Serkis goes ape-sh!t again, but this time the CGI is even betterer than before, making his head ape in charge – Caesar – feel even more realer than the real thing. EAT THAT LANCELOT LINK!!!  These apes feel so real that I got like semi-emotional for them and their family problems, and like want to be their friends and stuff!  They so reals, that I may juss JO to them right now…

OK, I’m back, and so are these apes!!!!!  Trying to make peace with them are humans Jason Dark Thirty Clarke, Felicity Russell and Kodi I look like Meathead from Meatballs Part II Smit-McPhee.  And trying to make war with them are Gary Oldman and Toby Kebbell!!  BUT WILL PEACE AND WAR FIND A BALANCE WHERE MAN AND APE CAN LIVE TOGETHER ON THIS PLANET????  What do you think?  The movie aint called Planet of The Happy Go Lucky Apes & Humans.  Cause if that was the name of this movie, it would be about as exciting as that Ed movie.  But it’s EVER BETTETETEERRR THAN ED!!!!  But I’ve actually never seen Ed, but I would welcome a planet apes movie where the apes play humans in baseball – and the winner gets to own earth!!!  APE BASEBALL > VAMPIRE BASEBALL!!!

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Dawn rises big time at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

ed leblanc

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Dos Toyevsky & Dos Eisenbergs

The Double
Double Unstandard
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 93 min

the double

How do you like your Jesse Eisenberg – nebbish, dweeby and overly nervous (The Squid and The Whale), or cocky, bullish, and totally in charge (The Social Network)?  Why choose when you can have BOTH in Richard Ayoade‘s crazed second feature – The Double, based on Fyodor Dostoevsky‘s second novel of the same name, with a script co written by Harmony Korine’s brother Avi

We first meet the lesser Eisenberg – Simon James – a 1984ish worker drone, stuck in a rut.  Barely noticed or appreciated, he goes through life hoping for more – to climb the corporate ladder, and to climb into the heart of fellow co-worker and neighbor Mia Wasikowska.  Everything changes when a look-a-like, James Simon – also Eisenberg, starts work at his company, and fulfills his dreams… for himself.  The new brash Eisenberg does what the shy old Eisenberg can’t – he becomes the apple of the boss (Wallace Shawn)’s eye, and the orange of Wasikowska’s heart.  So much for dreams, as this is a total nightmare!!

A nightmare indeed, but Ayoade keeps the dark material as light as he can, and makes it as fun as he can too.  The same was true of his mostly brilliant debut Submarine, and with these two films in the bag, Ayoade has made himself a director to be watched, and to be greatly admired.  Submarine was very Rushmore-y, and I was curious if his follow-up would be more of the same, the way that every Wes Anderson movie is more of the same (but not in a good way).  The Double is not more of the same, it’s a leap from Submarine, in both style and substance, but equally mostly brilliant, and we can’t wait to see where his next leap takes us

Obviously Ayoade has fans on the inside too, as such killer actors as Sally HawkinsNoah TaylorJames FoxPaddy ConsidineCathy MoriartyCraig RobertsRade Serbedzija and Yasmin Paige signed up for Double duty in the teeniest tiniest of roles.  Oh yeah, I forgot to include Chris O’Dowd on that list, but he’s not a killer actor.  He’s annoying and unfunny.  He’s like an Irish Seth Rogen

Anywho, Ayoade ALL THE DAYS!!!!!!

Verdictgo: basically Breast In Show

The Double is up, not down today in limited release AND on-demand!

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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