Tag Archives: Breast In Show

Superprime Number Crunching

The Big Short
The Rooting of All Evils
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 130 min

the big short

Movies about the subprime mortgage crisis are either boring, too wordy, or juss not all that good (or all three).  Luckily Adam McKay‘s cinematic take on Michael Lewis‘ book The Big Short: Inside the Doomsday Machine is none of the above, although it admits to its audience that it is very wordy, but tries its best to put all the money talk into layman’s terms for us by breaking the 4th wall

We all know things didn’t go quite well with our economy in 2007, but did you know that there were some dudes who saw it coming and profited from it, by betting on America failing????  Yes, it’s true, although some names have been changed to protect the profiteers. And so you sit there, and you root for the dudes to make money by America losing!  You know that bubble’s gonna burst, and they do too, and we want them to win, cause what’s a movie if there are no heroes?  The big shots in The Big Short aren’t really heroes, but compared to the villainous big banks and the clueless government officials not seeing what troubles lie ahead, they are our heroes

We don’t need another hero!!!

Yeah, but if these smart money dudes are played by the likes of Christian Bale, Steve Carell, Ryan Gosling, Finn WittrockJohn Magaro, and even a subdued Brad Pitt, who’s gonna root against those dudes???  

Come to think of it – the casting is super genius.  I mean, actor-wise – OBVIOUSLY, but lady-wise – BLAM.  You’re a guy, and you want to see a movie about economics and how you gonna sell that on your lady (or boyfriend or left hand or whatever you finger bang)?  Uh, honey, there’s a movie with Brad and Ryan and Christian in it.  Wanna see it?

So fcuking money, and you DO know it

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Short comes up Big at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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Irish Sprung

Brooklyn
Heart Is Where The Home Is
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 111 min

brooklyn

Saoirse Ronan has beautiful, yet super creepy laser-blue eyes.  They were super creepy when she made bad things happen in Atonement.  But now she’s a bit older, and so they’ve become a little less creepy, and in John Crowley/Nick Hornby/Colm Tóibín Brooklyn movie, dem eyes aint creepy at all – as they are filled with and the exuder of udder sadness and absolute happiness, and those eyes are everything  

Her character – Eilis (which is apparently pronounced Aiiiiilllllllllllish) leaves her ma and sis in Ireland for America (a scene early in the movie that almost had me in insta-tears).  She works at a department store, but misses her family and Irish Spring and Lucky Charms, but luckily there are lots of Irish things in America – like O’Doul’s and McDonalds and Jim Broadbent and Julie Walters.  Phew  

And then things change when an Italian Brooklyn boy (the sappy smirky good Emory Cohen) makes his way into her life, making America feel more like home than her old home.  But then tragedy strikes back home, and so she goes home, and is kinda swept up in old home and is having second thoughts about new home, and there’s this great Irish redheaded guy (Domhnall Gleeson, in his 1919239939192193th movie of 2015), and so she’s conflicted and arggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!  

I kept waiting for wrong turns and bad things to happen, but this movie isn’t like that.  This movie stands for good, and is way beyond good.  It reminds me that movies can be positive, without having to be edgy or showy or anything else besides a great story and great storytelling.  Boy voyage and land ho!  Spring for this Irish tale, and u2 can enjoy it’s wonder and wonderment!

VerdictgoBreast In Show

Brooklyn boroughs currently at a theater near jews/irish people

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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Box & One & Thensome

Creed
Spawn Sacrifice
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 133 min

creed

A funny thing happened to the Rocky film series as it got older – it got better.  2006’s Rocky Balboa was fcuking great.  It was nice to have Rocky back, and for Sylvester Stallone to act fo’real, instead of acting a’fool.  And I thought that was that… until writer/director Ryan Coogler came up with an ever better idea – what if Apollo Creed breed?  He did, and his forgotten son Adonis (a fit and fantastic and a fine mustachioed Michael B. Jordan) wants in on the family rope-a-doping, but he aint gonna get there without SlyRocky Ballone’s words of wisdom and fistdom.  And that pretty much tells you what you need to know about what Creed is… besides, in a word, awesomeszósz!!

And Tessa Thompson is so fine.  She needs to be in everything, including her own pants (that’s how fine she is – she needs to jump her own bones!)

tessa t

tessa t bw

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Creed packs a wallup – still in theaters near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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Quality, Value, Convenience

Joy
Mop & Glowing
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 124 min

joy

The Silver Linings Playbook/American Hustle crew is back!  And possibly better than ever!! David O Russell and Jennifer Lawrence and Bradley Cooper bring the JOY and the pain in what has got to be the greatest movie that has something to do with a mop and/or QVCJoy 

Joy is prideful, and joyful, and funny, and mildly melancholy, and 300% fun.  You know the movie is super super dope when it utilizes Robert De Niro talent (in this day and age) and instead of stupefying it.  And you know I aint no J-Law fan, but I love J-Law in this, and thus I love this movie!!

And the story is all true-ish!!!

Joy Mangano is an inventor.  She invented the Miracle Mop

At one point in time, there was no Miracle Mop, and Ms Mangano needed a miracle to support her children, and her ex-husband, and her wacky mother, and her twice-divorced father.  The mop changed everything and this movie is about getting that mop to market and the struggles to get there.  A total underdog story, that you’ll be rooting for from the get go.  Go Joy! Go Joy! Go!!!!!!!!  

Wait, they made a whole movie about a woman who invented a mop?  Well, it’s more than juss that.  It’s about ideas, and family, and things and stuff.  And what a family!!  You couldn’t ask for a more fun and willing bunch of family folks helping her along – Isabella RosselliniÉdgar RamírezElisabeth RöhmDiane LaddVirginia Madsen and the Gadsby twins.  Loved them all.  Makes me wish I was a member of her family so I could hug these people!!!

And the QVC stuff was super cool.  You get to see what it looked like at the beginningish, and things, and stuff, and I think it’s juss so super super super cool and honorable that Melissa Rivers played her mom Joan Rivers, and how eerily alike they look

melissa as joan rivers

Did we mention that this movie was 300% fun?  You like fun, right?

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Joy to the world – everywhere on Xmas day

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

1 Comment

Entenmann’stainment

The Danish Girl
Puffy Pastry
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 120 min

The Danish Girl is a tragic and inspiring true story (think The Crying Game meets Boys Don’t Cry meets me crying at how hot Alicia Vikander‘s hot nekkid body is), but the biggest tragedy is that it’s NOT about a woman obsessed with danishes.  DAMN YOU HOLLYWOOD!!!  It’s about some dude who loved women’s clothes and then realized that he was more woman than he was a man.  Don’t be suprised if Eddie Redmayne and his strange lips nab Oscar gold, for the 2nd time in as many years.  What’s his next Oscar baited trick – playing a man with no head, orbiting Uranus?  

Anywho, you should see The Danish Girl, cause it’s really really good, and really really well done, but you should see it and think about what could have been… 

The Danish Girl – The Story of A Girl Who Loved and Lived for Danishes 

entenmann's danish girl

choclate danish girl

danish girl cherry

danishes girl

Danish custard girl

danish girl redmayne   the danish girl

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

The Danish Girl is scrumptious, currently in limited release

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

2 Comments
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