yesterday our Thighs turned 6. today we begins our march for 6 more, or maybe even 666 more. who knows? the Shadow does. so does the Lord. the Lord once said ‘the time has come to set aside childish things‘, but sometimes the Lord can be wrong, like when she picked Nevermind The Sandra Bullocks for Best Actress, when she shoulda been picked for most likely to be in some romantic comedy that we’d rather drink diarrhea in a NJ Turnpike tollboth than go and see it. or was it the Shadow’s fault? anywhoobuttstank, we will never set aside childish things, hispecially our ghettoloriousnessness kelsey grammar, but we vowed to make Thighs Wide Shut more aesthetically pleasing, and in turn, less yellow and less all around eyesore-y for you our dear readers and JO textperts. so, here we are, love it or love it, this be the new and improved Thighs, with easier to search and navigate stuff and things, but still with all the same poorly written movie reviews and gigantic boobs from the UK trimmings you’ve cum to eggspect. but before we leap forward, let’s look backwards on last year’s crap and shazta
we’d like to thank the tireless efforts and effarts of Gallop Pole Dancer, for installing all the new whells and bistles, and doing our bidding, and allowing us to feed him pastrami. you sir have been officially knighted as a knight of the table of our round stomachs of the Kingdom of Thighland. it’s only the 2732th highest honor, so don’t be that honor rolled
I Am Not Your Negro Race Yourselves Official Site | Trailer & Mo PG-13 | 95 min The most important movie of 2016 (which is now getting a full release in 2017, so I guess that makes it the most important movie of 2017) is Raoul Peck‘s I Am Not Your Negro YESS!!! It’s true!!!! One can never […]
The Founder The Big Mac Daddy Official Site | Trailer & Mo PG-13 | 115 min As a kid my love for McDonald’s was beyond super-sized. As an adult, I haven’t abandoned the golden arches, but I certainly don’t eat there as much as I did as an ultra-happy Happy Meal youngin Anywho, I always remembered seeing this plaque in our […]
Hidden Figures Space Race-ist Official Site | Trailer & Mo PG | 127 min I am all for movies about equal rights, the space race, the American spirit, conquering adversity and unheard true stories that must be told. Hidden Figures needs to exist. It’s a PG movie that anyone and everyone can and should see. You + […]
Jackie To Live and Die With Dignity Official Site | Trailer & Mo R | 100 min I’ve missed Natalie Portman, and I feel like she hasn’t really done anything post-Black Swan, which somehow was 6/7 years ago. Yes, I know she was in Thor and in that dumb Ashcan Kruncher flick, and other stuff, but those were juss […]
Patriots Day Made America Great Again Official Site | Trailer & Mo R | 133 min In a time of great division, it takes a docudrama like Patriots Day to remind us how once united AND great America and Americans were The 2013 Boston Marathon bombing was not all that long ago, but before you scream ‘too soon‘, […]
Lee Horsley as/in Matt Houston, alongside Barbara Edwards, Mary Lynne Gehr, Marianne Gravatte, Veronica Gamba, Heidi Sorenson, Trisha Long, Dona Speir, and Kymberly Herrin (one of the ZZ Top legs ladies!!!) in the episode ‘The Bikini Murders‘, which aired on February 3, 1984 I NEED THIS TO RE-AIR NOW!!!
apparently the top woman is Juliana Morgan, and the bottom one is Ellen Canton. they look like the same person to me. see the hand gestures, and the other things, that look incidental, and cause men to make their own hand gestures who knows? who cares? more like BOOB cares!
I’m never getting around to seeing Fences or Lion, so here’s… Dwelve Into These Twelve of 2016 1) Tower A real life tragic event gets Waking Lifed, and it’s not only scary and horrific, but hopeful AND inspiring! – 2) I Am Not Your Negro What it’s like to be an African-American in America (when you’re […]
I bought more CDs this year than I probably have in an entire decade! it’s TRUE!!!! I WILL NOT LET PHYSICAL MEDIA DIE!!! here’s what I listened to in 2016!! all certified thightastic! – you know my theory – see your favorite musicians in concert before you or they die… Live By Night! Raul Malo […]
you know the drill – 2016 was all Tronald Dump, and Gigi Hadon’t and bunch of other garbage szauce, but 2017 is gonna be different, and amazing, and awesome szauce. There may be some KKK, but don’t worry, everything will be A-OKKKK. How do we know? We juss do. Anywho, The Washington Post does a list thing, and […]
oh man, that TV stuff in 2016!!! 1. The People vs OJ Simpson (FX) left a PERManent 90s stain on my psyche (please note – I didn’t get a chance to watch the ESPN doc series on OJ yet): – 2. The Americans (FX) poor poor Martha Hanson – 3. Baskets (FX) Louie Anderson – BIGGEST comeback of the 21st Century!!! […]
TWS turns 12 today. one more year and it becomes a man if you missed anything in year 12, here ye blow… Smells Like Teen Dispirited The 2015 Thighsmans bless you Callahan!! Thighs Wide Movies 2015 The Welles Report Ohhhh Fuuudge! GibsiHana Auf […]