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The Welles Report

Orson Welles had one of the greatest voices to have ever been recorded on planet earth.  it worked wonders in radio, TV and cinema, and even later in his life, when he needed extra money, and would lend his pipes to anything and everything.  and what’s so wrong with that???

I’m sure you’ve heard the outtakes from his ad for frozen peas, right????? (please tell me you have.  it’s one of the greatestestetestsstttt things mt EVERest)

well, there were plenty of other ads, which probably all had cringe-worthy outtakes, but these finished takes are all an aural thing of beauty…

I mean, with that voice – he could sell horse piss to a horse without a mouth!

I mean, I could listen to him say ‘Copenhagen’ ALL DAY

I didn’t need to be sold on Dark Tower, the greatest board game ever created, but I’d take a sword for him after hearing his pitch!!!

Orson, please save the world instead of scaring us about its impending doom!!!

Nashua!!!  wish the company was called Nashua’s Joshua.  would’ve love to hear him say that!!!

smoking added a touch of class, well, at least back then

the part where he says ‘par excellence’ words gets me weak in the knees

Orson’s voice is an oasis, and so is whatever that cloak he’s wearing

hello, let me take 10 seconds to light this thing!  btw – love that it always looks like he’s talking to the audience, but he’s basically juss talking to himself

he should make that woman’s bandana disappear

if it’s not HBO, apparently it’s slutty cable TV.  sit back and enjoy!!!

not sure if he’s actually hot, out of breath, out of money or all 3

I bet he thinks this camera’s a real piece of sh$t

and now you are entering the Paul Masson section of this post…

if Orson has wine farts, and yer standing behind him, you’d be gone with the wind

somethings can’t be rushed – including Orson Welles

here’s an outtake from the same spot – NO GREASED BOTTLES!!!

if only the ‘Chablis’ was from Copenhagen!!

same jacket as above?  but with one of Peter Bogdanovich’s ascot/neck scarf thingies??

wait, why does this one have more voice-over to it, than him juss talking to the camera

oh, that’s why – he’s fcuking drunk as a skunk!!!

bless this man.  wish I was that other hand in the photo

paul masson orson welles

he looks like he’s either ready to leave, fart, or upset that you’re not paying for the bill, or all 3

orson paul masson

omg! omg! omg!!

HE DID THE VO FOR THE REVENGE OF THE NERDS TRAILER!!!!!!!!!!

and this MIGHT(???????????????????????) be him talking about STAR WARS!!!!!!!!!!!!

anywho, Orson was the best.  who cares if he was squandering his talent by making his pocketbook bigger and stomach bigger by doing ads?

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Ohhhh Fuuudge!

Peter Billingsley challenger

Classmates of the son of America’s first teacher-astronaut, Christa McAuliffe, cheer as the space shuttle Challenger lifts skyward from Launch Pad 39B on January 28, 1986.  Their delight turned to horror as the shuttle exploded 73 seconds into flight.  The boy in the white hat and glasses at center is Peter Billingsley, the star of A Christmas Story and a spokesman for the young astronaut program

here is video of Peter and others in the crowd watching liftoff  :(

Billingsley said after the tragedy – ‘I’ve talked to kids from all over, even some not too long after the accident.  They seem more interested in the future. I don`t think it`s going to set the program back in the long run. They seem to be looking beyond it.

Kids are not going to be terribly disturbed in the long run. They might think twice, but most kids have a dream of going into space

The Challenger tragedy in pictures

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