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Defying Deaths

Peace The Forks Out

to

The Other Dick Van

eight is enouggh

spaceballs van patten

dick van dogs

dick van paten

&

Jerry’s Wife/Ben’s Mom/Anne Meara

anne jerry  the stillers

alf anne

&

THE John Steed

macnee

diana rigg steed

twiggy steed

steed

 

+

his mind was beautiful 

Manson Family divorcer

little James Horner

oh no Yes

Fred Flinstone’s boss + other Hanna Barberians 

plastic pink flamingo dude

last original NBA employee

Ornette Coleman

ornette

Mother Theresa II

the voice of the Chiquita Banana

THAT GUY

that other that guy

that other that that guy

a true dingbat of fonts

zapf

realllllly old movie gangster

Nature Boy

the first student-athlete 

he hearted heart-shaped bathtubs

Tariq Aziz, who made berets & mustaches & giant glasses look awesome

tariq

she made costumes for the Beatles & Bond

F Scott Fitzgerald’s final secretary

King of Easy Listening

Picasso’s right arm

not Ringo’s sister

blaze starr

little boy who got to look at MM

Mr Comcast

El Kickador/Univision-er

a Weaver

Woody Allen’s Jack Rollins

jack rollins

Texas A&M’s first Heisman winner

some surfer pioneer guy

some country singer

boxing movie producer dude

U2’s manager

this spicy Italian chick

Laura Antonelli3

Laura Antonelli paint

Queen of Versailles’s princess

Joe Biden’s son

Charles Barkley’s mom

Penelope Cruz’s padre

Jason Voorhees’ mom

betsy palmer

he once owned the Mets (not the Nats do:)

some comedy writer

some British actor who turned down the role of James Bond

some Russian guy

some chess guy

some Scottish actor

some fat British bloke

the guy who gave us this

mlb logo

a King of media

a White House Chef

MGM Resorter

what a drag

zilla was his god

Stand By Me‘s Milo Pressman

he printed LA stories

a trotter of globes

some old actor

she shot this and that and those other things

Mary Ellen Mark

Mr Superdawg

150 year old Galápagos tortoise

world’s tallest cow

&

the guy who made headlines

headless body topless

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Killing Me, Hardly

Me and Earl and The Dying Girl
Me Hurl and The Dying For This Movie To End
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 104 min

me earl dying girl

I don’t even know exactly how to sum up how much I didn’t like (and basically HATTTTTTTTTTTTTED) this movie, and I really don’t have to bother since David Edelstein somehow captured my thoughts exactly, but…

if you are looking for a crappier version of…

The Fault in Our Stars

fault stars

but less romantic

platonic

that focuses on one of THE most annoying and non-interesting teenage protagonists I’ve encountered in a while (this is not actually him)

annoying teenager

who is forced by his mom to hang out with that super adorable girl from Bates Motel, who has nothing to do in the movie cept have big eyes, and eventually shave her head cause she has cancer

olivia cooke

and our annoying teen boy gets by in his dweeby high school life with his quirky black friend (think Urkel, but not really.  I juss wanted to post a gif of Urkel)

urkel

and together they re-make movies in a way that’s somehow dumber then the ultra-dumb Be Kind Rewind

and the whole movie feels like the 193482382th Wes Anderson Rushmore rip-off you’ve ever seen

rushmore2

rushmore1

and the movie feels like one giant cancer guilt trip, that isn’t worth taking

guilt trip poster

and for some reason Nick Offerman is in it, and he’s basically as exciting as the grumpy looking cats he looks like

nick offerman

and if I don’t have anything nice to say, too bad, cause I already said it, but don’t see this movie cause it sucks, besides MAYBE the last last 5 minutes, but getting to that last five minutes is pointless torture, but I will say something nice – the Pittsburgh-regional locations for the movie were AWESOME!  Especially the high school they used!

SCHENLEY HIGH SCHOOL

SCHENLEY HIGH SCHOOL 2

Verdictgo: f this movie, so Slit Your Eyes Out Repoopulous

Him, Earl and Toe Jam zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzes you in limited release

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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The Turing Point

Ex Machina
Ro-bust!
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 108 min

ex machina

Ever wanted to see a less big A.I.?  You can in Alex Garland‘s Ex Machina, which is quiet and creepy and sexy and scary, and welll designed, and stuff!

It’s got dweeby Domhnall Gleeson trying to disguise his Irish accent with a horrible American accent, and Alicia Vikander trying not to be super hot cause she’s a robot who is super hot, and Oscar Isaac trying not to be a nice guy, and trying to be an amazing dancer (with Sonoya Mizuno) AND SUCCEEDING!!!

machina danc23

machina dance

What’s the movie about?  Robots, humans, robots interacting with humans, humans interacting with robots.  What is real?  What is robotz?  What are emotions?  How amazing a dancer is Oscar Isaac?  How badly do you want to stay at this place in Norway (where the film was filmed)?

Question is, do you like robots and da future and questions?  If you answer ‘yes’ or ‘ellllls yeah’ to all three, then see this film

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Machina ruins smoothy at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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Better Late Than Never

Peace The Forks Out

to

David Letterman On Nighttime Television

rolling stone letterman

letterman leno

murray l;etterman

letterman pencil

letterman liberace dylan

turkey drop letterman

letterman sits

crispin letterman

miami vice lettermnan

Top 10 Least Popular Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream Flavors – October 18, 1989

10. Oprah Mocha
9. Raspberry Rash
8. Norieggnog
7. Cholesterol Chip
6. Zsa Zsa Gaboreo
5. Tiny Filaments O’Tungsten
4. Uninhibited by Cher
3. Stuff-Found-in-Ben-&-Jerry’s-Pockets
2. Bus Depot Fudge
1. Hitler Ripple

carson letterman

dave cbs

letterman conan

number 3

happy new year larry bud

barrymore letterman flash

daves mom

dave kids

rupert letterman

davd and paul

paul_shaffer

phoniex letterman

dog horse

keys

ford letterman

letterman schaffer

dave kiss

biff henderson final day letterman'

#ThanksDave

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