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Up! Up! & Hathaway

Interstellar
Somewhere Between 2001 and 2010, so 2005?
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 169 min

Christopher Nolan is back!!!! In my mind at least. Didn’t care for his last Batman, nor Inception, which in retrospect was a lame dream within a lame dream within a lame dream

Maybe I needed some space from Nolan, or maybe Nolan needed to go to space. AND HE DID!!! IN SPADES!!! WHATEVER ‘IN SPADES‘ MEANS!!! Sure, it’s no 2001: A Space Odyssey, but it definitely wishes it was. Don’t we all

it was actually like this – in pictures (spoilers-ish ahead!)…

Matthew McConaughey likes to drive his big car
mcoughney drives

IN LIKE SMALLVILLE OR SOMETHING!
smallville 1978

And his daughter is Renesmee!
Renesmee

and like the Dust Bowl is happening or something
buster blown

and books are acting ghostly
ghost book

and everything we know is a lie
fake moon landing

and the earth is dying and all we have left is corn
bay corn hanks

and NASA is like in the same building as the WOPR was
WOPR

but the WOPR is now like some robot with no head but with crazy CRAZY crazy-assed legs
tars

which kinda reminds me of the best logo ever – the 70s WB one

anywho, McConaughey is like the last Starfighter
last starfighter

so says Michael Caine

but there are like 3 other starfighters joining him, including a not TOO annoying Anne Hathaway
anne hatwhay

and then typical space and movie space stuff happens…

legos astronaut

2001 ship

space call

space stuff

captain eo

cat pizza space

and then there’s some planetary visitations, to see if we could live there!

waterworld

hoth

and then there’s madness

and space lights

and some like dumb hokey Contact sh!t
contacy

and then a whole lot of stuff I don’t understand what they were talkin bout Willis
science

and then Elysium/70s future or something

and then some Benjamin Button type stuff pushing the kinda right AND wrong buttons at the same time
cate button

the end

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Interstellar is spaceballin’ at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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Contras Banned

Kill The Messenger
Runner Renner
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 112 min

kill the messenger

I was alive (and well) in the 80s, and heard all about the Iran-Contra Affair, but had no idea what any of it meant, other than Oliver North lied to us, and Fawn Hall had people fawning all over her. That’s why need movies like Kill The Messenger – to remind us of the shadowy things and stuff that the US done did, that we either don’t know or cared to forget about. The messenger is Gary Webb (Jeremy Renner in the rare role of a good guy), a reporter for the San Jose Mercury News, who blew the lid off of a story of how the CIA backed the sale of Nicaraguan Contras’ cocaine on American soil, and turned the profits into the Contras’ ammunition for their freedom fight back home. Once the lid came off, it couldn’t be put back on – and Webb became collateral damage of his own story. The CIA and even the media itself tried to bury the lead, and the lead writer with it. Michael Cuesta‘s film solidly captures the tension and fallout for Webb/Renner, but it never quite adds up to All The President’s Men II, even with a stellar supporting cast consisting of Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Rosemarie DeWitt, Barry Pepper, Ray Liotta, Paz Vega, Oliver Platt, Michael Sheen, Richard Schiff, Andy García, Robert Patrick, Michael K Williams and Tim Blake Nelson

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Kill shoots to inform at a theater near jews

I’m still waiting for a Contra movie, called Contra: Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start

contra1

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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Deep Spaced Nine Annual Thighs Wide Fooball Pee View

is it baseball season yet??? I kid, although I’m more into baseball these days than into football, but dude, FOOOOOOOTBALLL!!!

here’s a pee view of what’s to come, in Uranus…

 

NFC

eli face

NFC East

The Eagles (11-5) are DeSean Jackson-less, but that doesn’t mean that they won’t be no Action Jacksoners, as they may actually score 98.5 points a game with Darren Sproles, sproling in backfield next to LeSean McCoy. The Giants (10-6) will prove they are relevant, thus keeping Giants fans hate-loving Coughlin/Eli faces well into the 2015 season. Sorry, but you can’t hate this pair that gave you 2 Super Bowl rings!! The Cowboys (8-8) will be better than expected, but when not much is expected, then expect the unexpected!!! As for my beloved/hated racist Washington Football Team – the Skins (6-10) will flounder with a ‘healthy’ RGKnee, and probably carry on with this refarted experiment until they realize it’s one that won’t ever work/there’s nothing left under his knees. GO BREADSKINS!!!

NFC North

Aaron Rodgers is back and healthy, and with all forgiven with Brett Farve, the Packers (13-3) are primed to crush the competition. The only thing standing in their way is a sex boat scandal, or maybe a moldy cheese scandal. I feel that the Lions (10-6) will get their sh!t together and claim the last playoff spot, leaving the Bears (9-7) on the short end of the stick, and the Vikings (5-11) closer to hell, then Valhalla

NFC South

ryans beach

As long as Drew Brees is under center, the Saints (12-4) will be really fcuking good. It doesn’t matter who he’s throwing to, cause if they have arms, they will score. But can the defense prevent scoring? Not sure if Rob Ryan is the right man for that job, or to even judge a crawfish cookoff, but it may not even matter. The Falcons (8-8) will continue their falCON job of being good on paper, but crappy in reality. They need Jerry Glanville. WE ALL NEED JERRY GLANVILLE!!!!!!! The Bucs (6-10) stop here, and here is Middlingville, the town over from Okayland. And the Panthers (3-13) will finally find out if Cam Newton is Superman or Aquaman – aka sink or swim time!!!

NFC West

It’s raining Skittles for the champs, and the Seahawks (12-4) will prove all the stats wrong by not only getting back to the playoffs, but going deep into them. Joining them will be their enemy to the south – the 49ers (11-5), who will dazzle on the field, and in the stands, with a hot new stadium that’s not very close to San Fran, but will have beers served in Levi denim cups!! The Cards (8-8) won’t be making much of a move anywhere, but they really should juss give their name back to St Louis, whose Rams (2-14) wish they were anyone but themselves. They shoulda kept Michael Sam, only so they’d still be in the news come October

 

Seeds

#1 Packers

#2 Seahawks

#3 Saints

#4 Iggles

#5 49ersers

#6 Lions

NFC Championship – Seattle goes far, until they have to go on the road and realize that 11 is no 12, as their 11 won’t top the Packers‘ 11

pack to the future

AFC

AFC East

danc guy

Is there anything is be more predictable and boring than this division? Maybe even the Patriots (12-4) are sick of themselves, but until old fogeys Brady and Bill a checks out, this is their kingdom to rule. Pity poor Buffalo (6-10), Miami (6-10) and der Jets (6-10), who all tie for who cares

AFC North

blount blunt

Don’t know how it came to this, but I somehow have the Steelers (13-3) not only back atop the North, but king of all the AFC. Guess they’ll be riding high with Bell & Blount, smoking blunts, and riding around in a puff of smoke and mirrors, like they were Bam Morris or something. Marvin Lewis & that redheaded QB get the Bengals (10-6) back into the playoffs, but another first round exit will have them looking for the exit door themselves. The Ravens (8-8) – nevermore, and the Browns (5-11), wishing they were big like Josh Baskin. Poor Browns. One of these years

AFC South

Amazing how the Colts (12-4) can dump Peyton Manning and somehow be even betterer, but they have a lot of LUCK. HA HA HA HA. Er, um, uh, I do say. Is that hearsay or Irsay, who is so rock n roll, that he totally rocks, even with a DUI, cause he doesn’t have any IOUs. Huh? COLTS!!! And the Texans (6-10), Jags (6-10), and Titans (5-11)??? DOLTS!!!

AFC West

Der Broncos (10-6) not only have Peyton, but they have the ghost of Robin Williams cheering them on. Wanna bet against either of thems?? Didn’t think so. Their only chief concern are the Chiefs (9-7), who will show that last year was no fluke, even if they were kinda flukey, and get their playoff revenge on the Colts, by coming back from a 28 point deficit to beat them in the first round of the playoffs. The Chargers (8-8) spin their wheels, while the Raiders (3-13) try the two headed RB monster that is MJD and DMC, which = S.U.C.K.

 

Seeds

#1 Steelers

#2 Broncos

#3 Colts

#4 Pats

#5 Bengals

#6 Chiefs

AFC Championship - It’s curtains for the Steelers when they face the Broncos, who are out to prove that Eli isn’t the best Manning

Super BowlPeyton IS better than Eli, and gets his 2nd ring, as the Broncos topple the Packers 39 to 31. Your Super Bowl MVP is super Denver WR rookie Cody Latimer, cause I said so

 

enjoy the season, and stay Saintsational!!!!!!!!!!!

saintsational

perv-iously…

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