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Ten Things I Hate About Our Tenth Annual Thighs Wide Fooball Pee View

our NFL pee view gets smaller and smaller each year.  is it cause the Breadskins endlessly suck?  or that the NFL is kinda predictable, as the same teams always win?  or is it that marriage has taken a toll on my free time?  Actually, I think it’s that the NFL isn’t as fun as it used to be.  too many off the field distractions, and not too much awesomeness on the field.  anywho, here’s a qwik pee view of what’s what for 2015…


chip kelly

The East is the Eagles for the taking, IF Sam Bradford can stay healthy, and IF Chip Kelly does the wise thing and dress up like a Patriot like his predecessor did

The Packers should run away with the North, and the NFC.  Sure, losing Jordy Nelson doesn’t help, but maybe he’ll be healthy enough to join the Nelson Brothers (Matthew and Gunnar) when they play in Spencer, Wisconsin on December 13th

It pains me to pick the Panthers as the mouths of the South, but the other three teams don’t seem to be going in the right direction, unless that direction is the same name as this division.  I guess you could say that they’ are all heading south for the winter

People are dogging the NFC West, but I say West will be best.  Sure, Marshawn Lynch reunited with Fred Jackson will have the Seahawks running all over their divisionmates, but I see both the Cardinals (Carson Palmer and Larry Fitzgerald’s combined age is 67!!!) AND the Rams (somehow giving Jeff Fisher his 1st winning seasom there) snagging the two Wild Card spots


#1 Packers

#2 Seahawks

#3 Eagles

#4 Panthers

#5 Cardinals

#6 Rams

NFC Championship – somehow the Eagles do the impossible, go into Lambeau in January and freeze the hearts of all Packer fans – 31 – 28



Nothing will deflate the Patriots.  Brady will be more pissed and driven than ever, and kill everything in sight.  Always doesn’t hurt that they play 6 games against dogsh!t teams (within their division) – make that 7, since they play Deadskins too!

So will it be the Browns or the Bengals… who finish in last place?  Actually, the question is, and always is – who wins the North – the Ravens or the Steelers?  Sure, the suspensions and what not will have the Steelers shorthanded at the start, but don’t count these guys out in the long run

The Jags may surprise this year, but they’re still a bunch of Jag-offs, leaving the Colts needing no luck to walk off with the division crown.  Andre Johnson and Frank Gore will find the fountain of youth in Indianapolis, which would be the first thing anyone would find in Indianapolis, one of America’s lamest big citities

I guess I’m all about the West, cause I’m penciling in the Chiefs as head Chefs, with the Broncos (although Manning’s arm will fall off in week 16) and Chargers taking the wild card slotz


#1 Patriots

#2 Colts

#3 Chiefs

#4 Steelers

#5 Broncos

#6 Chargers

AFC Championship – nice try Colts, but you run out of luck vs the Patriots, again.  total snoozefest – 45 – 20

Super Bowl – is there anything more boring than another Patriots win?  no, and that’s why the boredom ends, with Chip Kelly and Sam Bradford and the Iggles topping the Patriots by deflating their hearts and their stupid helmet logo 

Eagles 25, Patriots 24

zero super bowl wins no mo!

superbowls zero eagles

wait, stop the presses – the Buffalo Jills are no longer????

oh well, we’ll throw our weight behind and on Eagle cheerleader Megan this season!!!!!!!

megan eagles cheerleader


Deep Spaced Nine Annual Thighs Wide Fooball Pee View

H8-Ashbury Annual Thighs Wide Fooball Pee View

Bert BlySeven Annual Thighs Wide Fooball Pee View

Nikki Sixxxxx Annual Thighs Wide Fooball Pee View

We Plead The Fifth On Our Annual Thighs Wide Fooball Pee View: NFC Edish
We Plead The Fifth On Our Annual Thighs Wide Fooball Pee View: AFC Edish

Queer As Fourth Annual Thighs Wide Fooball Pee View: NFC Edish
Queer As Fourth Annual Thighs Wide Fooball Pee View: AFC Edish

Third Annual Thighs Wide Fooball Pee View: NFC Edish
Third Annual Thighs Wide Fooball Pee View: AFC Edish

Sec-unt Annual Thighs Wide Fooball Pee View: NFC Edish
Sec-unt Annual Thighs Wide Fooball Pee View: AFC Edish

First Annual Thighs Wide Fooball Pee View: NFC Edish
First Annual Thighs Wide Fooball Pee View: AFC Edish


That’s So Craven

Peace The Forks Out


A Million Ways To Die
In The Wes

wes craven

wes scream

wes nightmare


Mr Giant MNF Kathie Lee

gifford cape


Chocolate Thunder





bat girl



he was about What’s Happening With Sanford & Son, Divorce American Style

Bond, Julian Bond

Bob Dylan’s producer

Awakenings no mo

Wrangler Jane

mister Mr Coffee

mr coffee

Marines’ First Black Aviator and General

Dust Lady

first lady of the Khmer Rouge

made a Killing with Kubrick

first African-American Jean Valjean

he trained horses

The Islander

al albour

activist beaten on Selma bridge

he rode for freedom

Mrs Marlon Brando the I

Disney historian

some actor

some other actor


Chris Evert’s dad

some British actor

some other British actor

he told Chicago the weather

Maryland Batman


Robert ‘Bob’ Farrell


father of Farrell’s Ice Cream Parlour


there was no butter place to go for fun and magical and giant birthday desserts, loud noises, giant jawbreakers and other goody godly sugar excellentness!!  

sadly they closed up shop on the East Coast eons ago, but still live on today in a few West Coast and Hawaiian locations.  It’s one of the only reasons I want to return to Los Angeles

farrells candy

thank you Bob!


Get On The Huss

never 5get – Toby Huss as faux Frank Sinatra – riffing and rhyming on current [1994] MTV hits

sinatra huss

huss sinatra


Toby Huss did plenty of other non-Sinatra MTV promos


was Artie The World’s Strongest Man on The Adventures of Pete & Pete!!!!!!!!!

artie pete n pete

and can now be seen on Halt & Catch Fire, which is a pretty damn fine show!

toby hass halt


Runaway Train, Never Goin’ Back

You Know She’s No Good, Cause She Was DAMN FINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 128 min


Asif Kapadia‘s hard to digest/MUSSS digest documentary Amy has everything you’d want to know and everything you don’t want to know about how Ms Winehouse got big, then got too big for her own britches, then had her britches explode.  It was literally like watching a runaway train crash, and you know the exact time and location of when and where that runaway train gonna crash [actually saw it on the anniversary of her death date.  SPOOKY!!].  You shake your head at how incredible she was [was lucky to see her perform once!], and shake your head at how sad it is that she’s no longer with us.  You think she done herself in?  We all did her in.  How can we save ourselves when we can’t even save Amy Winehouse???

and watching the doc was eggzactly like this…

amy winehouse young

amy sings

drugs party

party drugs



amy fingers

old train wreck













Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Amy is housed currently at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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