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Peel The Bern

bernie-hillary

MVP Berry Sanders by Poster Boy

here’s the original photo…

bernie

Detroit Lions running back Barry Sanders, left, makes his move past Washington Redskins safety Jesse Campbell, right, during first half action at Jack Kent Cooke Stadium in Landover, Maryland, Sunday, November 9, 1997

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The Unlevened Eleventh Annual Thighs Wide Fooball Pee View

Tony Romo’s broken, but our Annual NFL Pee View aint.  here we go…

NFC

ben-mcadoo-begbie-trainspotting

The Giants should easily win the NFC East, right?  Ben McAdoo?  More like Ben McAdon’t!  They say he looks like some dude on South Park (a show I haven’t watched since season 1), but I think he looks like a bullsh!t version of Begbie from Trainspotting.  Regardless, in my heart of hearts, I want no team to win less than them.  Living in New York City, during a time when they’ve netted 2 Lombardi trophies, has been simply unbearable.  Having them suck above all other NY sports teams is all I can hang my hopes on to.  I don’t trust the Redskins, but I actually think they’re more together than the other teams in their division (Eagles may suprise, but probably not), and so, they will make the playoffs… and probably lose in the first round again

Silly to think that the Packers have only won one Super Bowl with A.A. Ron Rodgers, but that’s the truth.  His brother ‘won’ the Bachelorette, and apparently there’s been much Rodgers family drama going on with their ladies, which will distract A.A. Ron from winning another.  The Vikes need another sex boat scandal to become sexy again, and the Bears are praying the Cubs dominance will continue to take the edge and attention off and away from their awfulness… which leaves the Megatron-less Lions being the mightiest of this bunch.  Woah!  Say it aint so!

The Panthers will remain one of the conference’s top dogs (or should that be cats?), but the Saints will give them a run for their money all season long.  Brees will actual break the record for most TDs in a game – a record he is currently shares with 7 other white dudes.  The Bucs will continue to suck until they realize that they need to revert back to their original uniforms and helmet.  And the Falcons?  Time to put Matty on ice for good, or in a dumpster (on fire or not)

The 12th man and the 11 starting Seahawks will retake their West crown back from the Cardinals, in 4pm EST games most of us will not really care about, but will watch, cause it’s football!!!  Will be cool to see the Rams back in Los Angeles, and even more cooler when we see the Rams without Jeff Fisher.  What woulda been even way more cooler is if they renamed themselves the Los Angeles Dons – the 1st football team to ever play in LA, which was co-owned by Louis B Mayer, Bob Hope, Bing Crosby, and Don Ameche!  DON FCUKING AMECHE PEOPLE!!

la-dons-ticket

#1 Seahawks

#2 Panthers

#3 Skinz

#4 Lions

#5 Cardinals

#6 Saints

NFC ChampionshipSaints meet up with the Panthers and stun the defending Conference champ – 44 – 39!!!

nice neck!

giant-neck

AFC

natalie-colts

Is this the year the Patriots don’t getter-done?  Everyone’s sick of them and their cheating.  That’s why the NFL punished them – even though they’ve never been proven guilty of anything, other than being amazing.  (OK, I guess they got caught in Spygate, but that was almost 10 years ago, and I can’t remember what happened 10 seconds ago).  We certainly shouldn’t count them out, but lets say Jimmy Galapagos isn’t Tom Brady II.  OK – Jimmy Santangelo isn’t the 2nd coming of Tom Brady.  Lets say he puts them in a 0-4 hole to start the season.  OK, Jimmy Gulps loses 4 games. Sure, Brady could win the next 12, but lets say he only wins 9?  9-7 is tough tomatoes when talking about AFC playoff spots.  Seems like some AFCers have finished 10-6 and haven’t made the dance.  So, for giggles and big sh!ts, lets say the Pats try their dam damn bestest, but don’t make it to the playoffs!  I’M CALLING IT!!!  Cause honestly, what else do I have to do?  So, I guess that means I have to pick a division winner.  I have a soft spot in my heart for the Bills, but one coach Ryan is too many coach Ryans, so two coach Ryans is too two too many.  Phins stink, so my defacto winner are the Jets!!!

RGIII is now the Browns‘ problem, but it’s a perfect place for him – low visibility and even lower expectations.  And I expect him to be placed on injured reserve when his ego deflates in week 4, when his former teammates on the Redskins scalp his RGKnees to shreds!!!  I don’t dig on the Steelers and their drug addicted team, and I don’t dig the Ravens neither (mainly cause black still doesn’t pair well with purple).  I also don’t diggity dig on the Bengals none either neither, but at least their consistent, at being good in the regular season, and sucking in the post-season.  The NFL’s storylines don’t change dramatically from year to year, so the Cincy boys will win.  Insert ‘Zzz’ emoji here…

zzz

Gonna spare you and me the words, and leave the North division to one word – Colts 

I’m doing it again, two years in a row – picking the Chiefs, Broncos and Chargers all to make the playoffs, cause why the funk not?  Hell, the Raiders even have a shot… when they move to Vegas and become The Las Vegas He Hates Mees!

he-hate-me

Seeds

#1 Colts

#2 Bengals

#3 Jets

#4 Chiefs

#5 Broncos

#6 Chargers

AFC Championship – IF the Pats don’t make the Playoffs, the Colts with luck without suck will ground the Jets – 21 – 10

Super Bowl –wait, how did I pick a rematch of Super Bowl XLIV???  dunno – but these things happen, but this time the Colts win, and the two teams combine to break the record of most points scored in a Super Bowl (75 pts in Super Bowl XXIX)

Colts 39, Saints 37

rumspringa party time for all the Amish kids!!!

luck

 

our super ye olde yee pee views always used to end with a pic of Meagan Good in a Hooters outfit, cause why not?  we thought we used every single Meagan Good in a Hooters outfit picture in the known world, but turns out we didn’t!  lucky you!  lucky me!  lucky we!!

meagan-good-hooters

meagan-good-hooters-c

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perv-iously…

Ten Things I Hate About Our Tenth Annual Thighs Wide Fooball Pee View

Deep Spaced Nine Annual Thighs Wide Fooball Pee View

H8-Ashbury Annual Thighs Wide Fooball Pee View

Bert BlySeven Annual Thighs Wide Fooball Pee View

Nikki Sixxxxx Annual Thighs Wide Fooball Pee View

We Plead The Fifth On Our Annual Thighs Wide Fooball Pee View: NFC Edish
We Plead The Fifth On Our Annual Thighs Wide Fooball Pee View: AFC Edish

Queer As Fourth Annual Thighs Wide Fooball Pee View: NFC Edish
Queer As Fourth Annual Thighs Wide Fooball Pee View: AFC Edish

Third Annual Thighs Wide Fooball Pee View: NFC Edish
Third Annual Thighs Wide Fooball Pee View: AFC Edish

Sec-unt Annual Thighs Wide Fooball Pee View: NFC Edish
Sec-unt Annual Thighs Wide Fooball Pee View: AFC Edish

First Annual Thighs Wide Fooball Pee View: NFC Edish
First Annual Thighs Wide Fooball Pee View: AFC Edish

meagan-good-hooters-xx1231231

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Wilder At Heart

Peace The Forks Out

to

Gene Wilder

gene yellow

willy gene

richard genbe

woilder

rich gene

gene bonnie clyde

Gene-Wilder-and-Leonard-Nimoy-on-the-set-of-Funny-About-Love

gene wilder haunted

pryor gene

cooper gene

gene blazoing

pry

mel gene

gene

There’s no denying the incredible and indelible talent and humor that Gene Wilder gave the world, starting for most with 1967’s Bonnie & Clyde (a not so funny subjected movie that felt really fun), and further excelled in the hands of Mel Brooks (The Producers, Young Frankenstein, Blazing Saddles), or anyone who was wise to put him in their films (even Sidney Poitier!).  But what made Gene so great is how unhinged, and nervous and nutty he came across.  We like our movie stars to put us at ease, but Gene kept us on our toes – seizing us in a worrying state of panic from frame 1 to frame done.  Boy did he make us laugh, but uncomfortably, and thankfully – uncontrollably.  Thank you Gene.  You are the DNA of modern American humor

&

Mr Fuji

mr fuji

&

John McLaughlin
and his Group

john mac

carvey!

&

The Tree From
Shawshank Redemption

shawshank tree

&

Dennis Green

+

directed the love story to end all love stories – Love Story!

the voice of ‘Top Cat’s Choo Choo

the dude who harmonicaed on the ‘Sesame Street’ theme!!!

ESPN’s John Saunders

ghost singer to the stars

some Mexican singer

Backstreet N’SYNC maestro

‘Law & Order’ DA

THE Big Lebowski

huddleston lebowski

tops in labs

C-SPAN’s daddy

gone Elsewhere

Mars candy man

Fyvush Finkel!!!!

fyvush

some American spy

some designer

some Children’s author

some Romanian actor

some guy from ‘Family Matters’ and ‘Star Trek Deep Space Nine’

some Jewish lady

some jazzy clarinetist 

some guy on ‘Babylon 5’

that guy!!

3 Doors down axeman

Chef Michel Richard

he talked hostages

he was a hostage

Mrs Mangel

Steinbeck’s son

Dean Martin’s wife

Dean Martin’s son

Marion Barry’s son

Vikings owner’s dad

Miss Cleo

miss cleo

Hollywood guy

Hollywood musical gal

Broadway guy

Fred the Furrier

‘Postman Pat’s voice

&

mad mag

Mad Magazine’s Jack Davis

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Het Is de Real Thing

Coca-Cola is the longest continuous sponsor of the Olympic Games, with a partnership that began with the IXth Olympic Games in Amsterdam, 1928  

coke oylympics

heerlijk en verfrisschend = delicious & refreshing

coke amsterdam olympics

1,000 cases of Coca-Cola were sent to those Summer Games.  vendors sold Coke in bottles from kiosks located around the Olympic Stadium and the Rowing Course, but very few promotional materials connected Coca-Cola to the Games.  the exception – customized signs that were created by an American art student and hung over each of the entrances to the stadium

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