The 2018 Thighsmans

we named the breastest movies of the beastest of the 2018

and now, for the only awards that matter…

Fifteenie Anal Thighs Wide Movie Awards

aka

THE THIGHSMANS!!!

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Thing In A Movie That Was Lame-r Than Your Mom

that there’s a bad guy named after overpriced water

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Thing In A Movie From Another Movie That MOV(i)ED Me

I wasn’t ready and overlooked how amazing the Overlook Hotel shined in Ready Player One

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The 9th Annual Greta Grrr Wig Recipient of Please Go Away You Annoy The Living Poop Out of Me Over-Acting Actor Award

Lin-Manual-Miranda’s blimey as I live and breathe attitude as a character that doesn’t matter whatsoever in Mary Poppinz

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The Samuel L Jackson
Never Met A Script
He Didn’t Like
Man of The Year

 

Eric Roberts

who had SIXTEEN ‘films’ released in 2018!!

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Gifs of the Gawds

they call him MISTER Rogers

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The KFC Finger Stickin’ Goodness Goodie Three Shoes Award

aka – this lady be DAMN fine award!!

+

Eyes Wide Open For Bidness 9ever

aka Bestest Eyes

Kiera Bell

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Hairing Is Caring 

Brian May & The Men of The Favourite
have the same hair!

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KFC Sucks, Except For This One Time

stereotypes are stereo-typical
BUT WORK FINGER LICKING GOOD in

Green Book

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Möst Bestest Racist Performänce By An Actor With An Ümulat In His Näme

Jasper Pääkkönen in BlacKkKlansman

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THAT Kid Who May One Day Become a ‘THAT Guy’ Kinda Guy

Jake Ryan from Eighth Grade

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Art Imitating Itself

Mike Myers Hating ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ in the movie of the same name is genius

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Songs That Execute Better Than Norman Mailer Mailing It In With Mailman Karl Malone

‘Sail Away’ in Eighth Grade

all the Luxing & Grinding in Vox Lux

‘Shallow’

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Trailers Worth Tractoring

(in endless memory of Robert ‘Tractor’ Traylor)

 traylor-tractor-gif

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Poster Her! Poster We! Poster Haste!

 

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Unintentional Porn To Be Wild Titles

The Rider / Climax / On The Basis of Sex / 7 Days in Entebbe / Juliet, Naked / Her Smell / The Night Comes for Us / Chappaquiddick / Golden Exits

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Fenella Woolgar
Bestest Names Award

Honor Kneafsey

&

the aforementioned

Jasper Pääkkönen

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Don’t You Forget About Me/These Forgetmenot Bon Mots

didn’t realize all those cheesy Burt Reynolds car movies were actually awesome

+

Wes Anderson and Jacques Henri Lartigue

So Tell Me Again, Why Did You Have To Die? Part VII

 

Sports Meet Movies Collection

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Movies To Look For In The ‘019

 

Duo: A Star Wars Story

A Loud Place

HellFraiser

Second Man

Stan & Deliver 

18 Fast, 18 Furious

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In Memoriam

 

too many great names to name, so we’ll just leave it like this

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don’t forget to peep out our ’17,  ’16,  ’15, ’14, ’13, ’12, ’11, ’10, ’09, ’08, ’07, ’06, ’05, ’04, ’03, and ’02 awards!! 

until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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