The 2018 Thighsmans

we named the breastest movies of the beastest of the 2018

and now, for the only awards that matter…

Fifteenie Anal Thighs Wide Movie Awards





Thing In A Movie That Was Lame-r Than Your Mom

that there’s a bad guy named after overpriced water



Thing In A Movie From Another Movie That MOV(i)ED Me

I wasn’t ready and overlooked how amazing the Overlook Hotel shined in Ready Player One



The 9th Annual Greta Grrr Wig Recipient of Please Go Away You Annoy The Living Poop Out of Me Over-Acting Actor Award

Lin-Manual-Miranda’s blimey as I live and breathe attitude as a character that doesn’t matter whatsoever in Mary Poppinz


The Samuel L Jackson
Never Met A Script
He Didn’t Like
Man of The Year


Eric Roberts

who had SIXTEEN ‘films’ released in 2018!!


Gifs of the Gawds

they call him MISTER Rogers


The KFC Finger Stickin’ Goodness Goodie Three Shoes Award

aka – this lady be DAMN fine award!!


Eyes Wide Open For Bidness 9ever

aka Bestest Eyes

Kiera Bell


Hairing Is Caring 

Brian May & The Men of The Favourite
have the same hair!


KFC Sucks, Except For This One Time

stereotypes are stereo-typical

Green Book


Möst Bestest Racist Performänce By An Actor With An Ümulat In His Näme

Jasper Pääkkönen in BlacKkKlansman


THAT Kid Who May One Day Become a ‘THAT Guy’ Kinda Guy

Jake Ryan from Eighth Grade


Art Imitating Itself

Mike Myers Hating ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ in the movie of the same name is genius


Songs That Execute Better Than Norman Mailer Mailing It In With Mailman Karl Malone

‘Sail Away’ in Eighth Grade

all the Luxing & Grinding in Vox Lux



Trailers Worth Tractoring

(in endless memory of Robert ‘Tractor’ Traylor)



Poster Her! Poster We! Poster Haste!



Unintentional Porn To Be Wild Titles

The Rider / Climax / On The Basis of Sex / 7 Days in Entebbe / Juliet, Naked / Her Smell / The Night Comes for Us / Chappaquiddick / Golden Exits


Fenella Woolgar
Bestest Names Award

Honor Kneafsey


the aforementioned

Jasper Pääkkönen



Don’t You Forget About Me/These Forgetmenot Bon Mots

didn’t realize all those cheesy Burt Reynolds car movies were actually awesome


Wes Anderson and Jacques Henri Lartigue

So Tell Me Again, Why Did You Have To Die? Part VII


Sports Meet Movies Collection



Movies To Look For In The ‘019


Duo: A Star Wars Story

A Loud Place


Second Man

Stan & Deliver 

18 Fast, 18 Furious


In Memoriam


too many great names to name, so we’ll just leave it like this


don’t forget to peep out our ’17,  ’16,  ’15, ’14, ’13, ’12, ’11, ’10, ’09, ’08, ’07, ’06, ’05, ’04, ’03, and ’02 awards!! 

until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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