Tag Archives: beard

Irony Men

Due Date
No Planes, No Trains, Juss Automobiles
Official Website | Trailers & Mo

Calling Due Date a newish Planes, Trains & Automobiles is no original notion, and no, there isn’t a ‘those aren’t two pillows’ moment, but if you’ve seen P, T & A then you’ve seen Due Date, but that aint necessarily a bad thing.  Decent comedies are tuff to come by in this post-ironic age and another P, T & A is eggzactly the thing we need.  Go Todd Phillips!  Did we hactually juss write that about this no frills director (who gives himself a lame cameo here)?  We did, and we’re sticking to that, for now.  How much you’ll like Due Date squarely falls on how much of a Zach Galifianakis being Zach Galifianakis fan you are.  If yer a mild to HUGE fan, then let the fun begin.  If you aint, then you should probably make a date elsewhere, cause this is a Zach attack!!!!!

Robert Downey Jr has the thankless straightman role of being an a$$hole to Galifianakis, but someone has to do it, so why not have it be done by one of the single greatestestestsst actors alive????  The two get into a world of trouble and a lot of fun on the road, for no better reason other than the script demands that they do.  Sure, some of the journey includes a bunch of dumbness and unrealistic side tracking, but it matters so little when the Bearded one/wonder nets more laughter here than he did in The Hangover. Ed Helms was an equal victor in Phillips’ last joint, but Zach shows he can shine when the spotlight is cast solely upon him.  His schtick seems like it will never grow old.  And if it does, then someone else of Greek decent with a beard will juss have to step up and take his place.  Hopefully that will never happen

The moist sirprizing aspect of Due Date is that it’s got plenty of heart to counterbalance the pot jokes and masturbating dog.  It also has Michelle MonaghanJamie FoxxJuliette LewisDanny McBride and RZA as helping hands, and yet, no help is necessary when this is one giant sloppy wet Galifianakiss!!!  He was long overdue for a showcase, and so was we.  Win-win!

Shaven For Nobody’s Pleasure:  what ZG looks like w/o a beard

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Date is Due today at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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Cats A Wave & You’re
Sitting On Top of The World

January 23, 1984 – Beach Boys Brian Wilson visits the cast of Cats backstage at the Broadway Theater. Brian was with his psychiatrist, Dr. Elliot Landy, who travels with the reclusive musician. Brian’s brother, Dennis recently drowned in California

pic rezlogged from 100 Bad Dreamz

via

Beach Boys Beards

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Catty-Lickable High School Girls In Trouble

An Education
Cold Schooled
Trailers & Mo | Official Website

We’ve warned you over and over about how udderly franztastic actress cutie pie McGee Carey Mulligan is be (our love started with her minor work in Pride & Prejudice, then blossomed fully in the Dickens mini-series Bleak House, and has never stopped since), but you were probably too busy looking for the NSFWs all over this site to even notice (sure, her boobs aren’t gigantic, but it’s OK, juss ask yer moms, who doesn’t have gynormo ones either). Well, sometimes it takes more than a nation of Thighlanders to get a very valid point across

Spankfully An Education eggsists, and certifies and further promotes this and our finding of Ms Mulligan’s skill and bestness. She is An Education. Without her in this breakout and first lead role this knowledge might have remained buried for years to come, and the flick itself would have not been as palatable. But she is in the movie, and others have certainly taken note of her performance, earning much much much Oscar buzz, comparisons linking her to Audrey Hepburn, and plenty o’ praise heaped about, even from someone who rarely doles it out like Anna Wintour. Will things ever be the same for this up and comer? It won’t, and even if you take a pass on the course work of An Education and miss her indelible/incredible work, her name and face will be hard to escape in the decades to come, so why not hop on now before the bandwagon aint got no mo seats left?

So what is all this Education stuffs, eh? Mulligan plays Jenny, an impressionable school girl (a screenplay by good ole Nick Hornby based on Lynn Barber‘s memoirs), who’s skipping right along on a rosy pathway to Oxford in the post-war 50s world of England. Her proud semi-stern folks (Alfred Molina and olderish-Mulligan look-a-like Cara Seymour) keep a watchful eye on their beloved only child, so when the charming, older, more refined David (Peter Sarsgaard) steps into her life from outta nowhere, will hers or theirs ever be the same? For better, and for worse, no

Through David, she gets to learn lessons that can only be found outside the walls of her all girls school (with a supportive teach played by hey, where the fork have you been Olivia Williams + Emma Thompson, doing her usual steady Emma Thompson thing as the headmistress). Her bright eyes and keen ears are wide open, taking in all sorts of culture and delicacies her working class family never had the privilege to have shown her. She’s wined and dined, and has her lid flipped all over London town, the British countryside, and eventually a bon Paris trip, with her new beau, his thick as thieves buddy Danny (Dominic Cooper, slowly growing on us as a solid actor) and his dense sweet-tart (Rosamund Pike). Sounds purty peachy, eh? Well David isn’t all that he seems and when not-so-perfect things come to light about her Mr Perfect, everything will come apart at the seems. Will it be too late to stitch thangs back up????

Director Lone Scherfig‘s colorful period piece thrives with Mulligan in the driver’s seat, but the road we head down feels all to well traveled. We’ve encountered numerous coming of age, girls II women, stories before, and this one isn’t that discernible from the rest. But for this particular film, it doesn’t have to be, especially when we get the rare chance to see a star being born

Bearded Wonder Boy: poor Matthew Beard. this is the second movie, after When Did You Last See Your Father?, where his crush and hard-on for Ms Mulligan have been crushed and turned into blue balls

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

St. Trinian’s
Holy Crap!
Trailers & Mo | Official Website

English cartoonist Ronald Searle‘s St Trinian’s series spawned several books and big screen adaptations, the first being The Belles of St Trinian’s in 1954. Sequels followed, the last being in 1980, and apparently the time was right to do it all over again, splashed up wit respected actors (Colin Firth, Toby Jones, Lena Headey, Stephen Fry, and the namesake of our annual movie names award, Fenella Woolgar), youngish hotties (Gemma Arterton, Lily Cole, Mischa Barton, Russell Brand?), youngish ones who are on their way to
respectability (Talulah Riley, Jodie Whittaker, Juno Temple) + a lil help from the loud girls of Girls Aloud. This film came out in the Old World circa 2007. It was such a island-wide smash that it’s own sequel, St Trinian’s 2: The Legend of Fritton’s Gold, is hitting up their shores this winter. Besides peering at them wickedly adorable beauties and seeing Rupert Everett deliciously switch hit as a student’s father and then don a ladies get-up as the school’s wacky headmistress (a word so grand, it had to be used in both of our reviews!), this slapdash exercise in controlled insanity is nuttin more than a British version of the hiss-fire Bratz, cept w/o the ‘Bratitude’ [d]. What, that comparison means nuttin to you? Well, think Monty Python’s Flying Circus, w/o the Monty Python, the flying, and a circus with only a 1/4 ring

Saint Sinner: remember Caterina Murino? she was one of the Bond gals in Fapino Royale w/cheese, and if you look at these pictures, you probably won’t forget her again

Verdictgo: Slit Yer Eyes Out Repoopulous

An Education schools in NY & LA this Friday, while St. Trinian’s fails in the North East only on the same day

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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Hustle & Motown II

Last year’s trip to see the Redskins play in Detroit (Lions And Tigers And A$$ Tears, Oh My!) was such a raging success of excess that we saw no reason not to repeat the experience this year. and after a second stroll down the US automotive playground for 36 hours, we thinks we’ve done everything that can be done in this fine city by the lake that’s a shell of its former self, besides seeing a Red Wings and Tigers game (won’t bother mentioning the Pistons since professional basketball doesn’t really exist, well, at least if you ignore it it doesn’t exist)

anywho…

this is Renaissance Center, home of the world’s worstest movie theater. no wonder Michael Moore hates this place (as seen in his latest movie)

sadly the Renaissance Center didn’t have any giant turkey legs like they do at the Renaissance Fest

Thighs Wide associate Jewanicur Howard Johnson demonstrates how tall he and the buildings are

and increases the amount of Jews currently in that area by 4866%

I point to a place I’ve never been before and still haven’t been

a gym Canada!

ah, the lovely Detroit Institute of Art, aka the DIA

where after eating this incred bacon cheeseburger pizza from PizzaPapalis we added some ria to the DIA’s toilets. yum!

the muse-zan is a no-brainer muss visit

esp to check out Diego Rivera’s Detroit Industry 4-walled mural

these guys were smart, as they knew wees was coming to town with our nasty farts

HEADS ON STICKS!!

PTI’s lawyers are ready to litigate

what chu lookin out Go-Gan?

although we’ll admit that yer stache kicks our beard’s a$$

no need to call in Lionel Hutz

cause we ate all that we could: 6ish hot dogs, 3 things of nachos, 2 popcorns, a bag o chips, one wurst brat, and a ton of soda and water, but no soda water

sadly, the food was the only thing to cheer about on this day

not even Tommy Cruise missile could help the Skins take off versus the lowly Lions. does this mean Zorn will be gone and we’ll get a ‘Who The Hell Should I Hire‘ part 2? gas up Redskins One!

Ford Field is a sight to be seen, and for once, for their fans, they actually had something worth seeing, cept for those who didn’t go to the game cause it was blacked out locally (blacked out is racist!!!)

the Lions deserved to win and the Skins deserved to lose, and watching this happen was actually a lot more fun than watching the Skins win with 3 FGs last week vs the Rams

I love my boys, and always will, but they suck, or are juss really stuck. hopefully the ship will be righted, instead of lefted

but until then, the jerseys will return to the closet and hang in shame

word em up to the lamest form of pubic transportation we’ve ever seen:

The Detroit People Mover!

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Carpetbagging Is So 1869 Carpetmunching Is So 5770

Skins Season Three, Episode 6: Naomi [trailer]

Besides a bit of the olde Ass2Ass, Freddie’s ep hasn’t eggzactly lingered in our minds. Luckily Naomi’s turn has. Why?

two wet girls sit by a campfire, shotgunnin a joint, followed by heavy necking & petting & other fun stuff

FRICKKIN AWESUM!!

yeah, and it was all filmed with absolute care & classs
(this bike ride is so precious)
and no show of a$$
but(t) again with the undressing wedgie!

oh Ems!!!!

but that aint all folks
cause pure bestness doesn’t hinge only on
women doing each other!

S3:E6 also broughts
- the fear and the self-loathing of the bearded Irish teacher
- the pomp and circumstance of Cook Guevara’s campaign
- Cookie netting another one of our lady friends
- hand holding and crying thru a doggie door
- more sweet girl with girl stuff
- did we mention wet girls?
(don’t fret ladies, there was a bit of man-a$ in the ep)

OK kiddies, time once again evigan to play the game that no one’s been talking about:

This Week In Fitch/Prescott Twins Action Jackson Award

so, who?

Katie/Megan, whose funbags (and the rest of her fly self for that matter) got ZERO close-up action. ZER-O!?!???!?

in an episode where her closeted twin sister tears off the closet doors!!! don’t you think if that happened to your twin sister that you’d at least make a facial expression worthy of a single close-up????

therefore
and therefive
this is
NO CONTEST!!!

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥Emily/Kathryn♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

esp since it’s the first time we’ve seen her smile
and it’s a smile for miles!

+ these other assorted adorablenessness

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