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RFK Stadium, Blown Away, What Else Do I Have To Say?

X-Men: Days of Future Past
Out With The Old, In With The New Old
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 132 min

xmen future past

Yeah, yeah, yeah, we love us some Patrick Stewart as Professor X and Ian McKellen as Magneto, and sure, sure, sure, we’re VERY happy to have them back – but they’re barely in or register in Bryan Singer‘s third directorial turn in the X-Men franchise - Days of Future Past.  How is that possible?  Cause the new guys playing the old guys - James McAvoy & Michael Fassbender - are so X-cellent that we don’t even really need the old dudes anymore.  OK, OK, so there’s a lot of appeal to having all involved – like in that Star Trek Generations type way – but really, who needs it.  First Class was… first class.  New school rules.  New school should stay in session.  But didn’t you juss forget about Hugh Jackman as Wolverine?  Ooops, I did.  And while Pat Stew and Ian McK were unnecessary, Hugh Jax was totally necessary!  CAUSE WE GOT TO SEE HIS BUTT!!!   But why do these new movies work so well, and sorta make us forget about the old movies?  Cause they don’t take place in the boring present.  Part of it takes places in a weird future, but most of it takes place in the awesome past – and this time - it’s the Tricky Dicky 70s!  

AND RFK STADIUM MAKES THE GREASTESTETESTSTST STADIUM CAMEO IN A MOVIE EVER!!!!!!!!!!!

Magneto, X Men, RFK

Oh, and Jennifer Lawrence still sucks.  Oh, and Evan Peters is the fcuking best.  When he gonna play Jack White in a biopic called Jack White & Red All Over?

Verdictgo: Jeepers Mos Def Worth A Peepers

X-Men x-cells at a theater near jews

and oh, these posters are the fcuking baaaaaast!

x-men poster2

xmen poster1

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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Skin and Bones

Levi’s ads by Ida van Bladel

levis butttttt

levis bones

for Young and Rubicam Benelux, 1971

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The 2013 Thighsmans

we pricked the breastest movies of the beastest of the 2013

and now, for the only awards that matter…

Judi Den10th Anal Thighs Wide Movie Awards

aka

THE THIGHSMANS!!!

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The Death To Smoochy Würstest Picture AND The Gus van Sant Most Pretentious Pig Sh!t Film of the Year!!!!!

upstream-color-sucks

Upstream Color

dishonrable mentions for these movies for also sucking a$$ and making me really angry that they eggist

This Is The End & Don Jon & The Book Thief & The Bling Ring & Gangster Squad & I’m So Excited & Katsnooze II

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Batsh!ttiest Un-Sh!tty Crazy/Beautiful Performances of The Year

leo and cate

Leo & Cate

in Wolf & Jasmine

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The 4th Annual Greta Grrr Wig Recipient of The OK This Joke/Career Muss Be Stopped Now Award

jay-barachel-wig

Jay Baruchel

we get it, you’re scrawny, Canadian and have a dumb voice.  now go away and take Seth Rogen with you

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Always Bet On These Lil Shirley Temple Black (& White) Children

joey king droog2

 / Joey King

and the würst

Nico Liersch

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The Samuel L Jackson Never Met A Script He Didn’t Like Guy of The Year

 samuel l jackson james franco

James Franco

who had 8+ flix released in 2013!!

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Gifs of the Gawds

growl

Wolf-Leo-Dance-c

Alice Eve Trek

look-at-me

Franco-Spring2

Penn-Finger

 

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Hairing Is Caring

cumberassange

Cumberbatch’s Assange hair

tied for 2nd – everyone’s Hustle hair

tied for 3rd – the MUST-staches of Dallas Buyers Club

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Würstest Date Movie of 2013

12 years a gif

12 years a gif2

12 Years A Snooze

alternatively

würstest Dates IN a movie

any of the ones involving humans in Her

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Bob’s Big Girls – The Bobbies!

bobbies gatsby

anything & everything in Gatsby +8 other winners!

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The KFC Finger Stickin’ Goodness Goodie Three Shoes Award

hudgens lick

anything Vanessa Hudgens is doing in Spring Breakers

Margot Robbie makes us howl in Wolf [NSFW]

anything in Blue Is The Warmest Color (although we didn’t see it) [NSFW]

Lindsay Lohan’s cannons in The Canyons [NSFW]

Rosario Dawson puts us in a JO Trance [NSFW]

the revealing photos of Bettie Page in Bettie Page Reveals All [NSFW]

Leo’s butt candle

and the leastest…

her and his in the dark orgasms in Her

+

the sexification of Amy Adams in Hustle

amy adams boobs hustle

juss stop it.  she’s too nice to be sexy

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Mish-Mash-Up of The Year

Oz Breakers by ME!!!

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Eyes Wide Open For Bidness 9ever

aka Bestest Eyes

Justine Lupe!!!!

 in Frances Ha

runner-up - Blanca Suárez

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Most Ablixaiest Ablixa

ablixa zeta

Ablixa in Side Effects

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Face Timeless

Emile Vrijman

Dutch lawyer Emile Vrijman‘s face

seen in The Armstrong Lie

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Josh Baskin’ In These Sunny Miscellaneous Missile Missives That Are Da Bomb Shiz!

ash moscow

the only bitched @ swirth that matters!!!!!!!

AMC’s POOFY COMFY LEATHER RECLINING CHAIRS AT THE MOVIES!!!!!! 

the Her his line

the VFX of Gatsby

 Kellan Lutz IS orc Bolg

JD Salinger’s son was in Revenge of The Nerds!

David Cross has played both Allen Ginsburg AND his father

THOSE CRAZY SEXY COOL NASA’S SPACE COLONY ART THINGS FROM THE 1970S COME TO LIFE IN the so-so Elysium!!!

the awesomeness that is SpaceCamp!

leaf jinx

the Death Star’s laser control room still exists!!!

Matt Zoller Seitz became like the new Jesus and we still have zero idea who he is

1933 was an incredible year for movies

that picture of Terrence Malick

this picture of Terrence Malick

the cameos of Harmony Korine

Picnic at Hanging Rock is crazed!!!!!

Danny Lloyd Torrance Lives!!!

Batman (1989)’s Flugelheim Museum

+

we still gay for JFGay

JFGay-edit

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Songs That Execute Butter Than Norman Mailer’s Bong & Chong

mailer and chong

‘Ordinary Love’ from the Mandela movie

Mayssa Karaa’s arabic rendtion of ‘White Rabbit’

‘Scary Monsters And Nice Sprites’ by Skrillex in Spring Breakers

Mike Patton’s haunting piano in Pines

&

the abso abso abso lute würstest be…

‘The Blue Umbrella Suite’ featuring Sarah Jaffe

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Trailers Worth Tractoring

(in endless memory of Robert ‘Tractor’ Traylor)

 tractor-trailor

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Poster Her! Poster We! Poster Haste!

Posters-2013 

+ 

 the würst

& the würrstetst

& twinsies würsteresteserteestsers!!!

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Unintentional Porn To Be Wild Titles

inside llewyn davis

A Good Day to Die HardThe PurgeMy Little Pony: Equestria GirlsThe To Do ListThe CanyonsJobsInside Llewyn DavisOut of the Furnace

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Fenella Woolgar Bestest Names Award

fenella

June Squibb / Raphaël Personnaz / Topsy Chapman

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Movies To Look For In The ’014

WWZZTop

World War ZZ Topps

The Haunting in Connecticut 3: Ghosts of Miami of Ohio

The Even Greater Gatsby

Othello (based off of the board game)

Korben Dallas Buyers Club

13 Years A Slave

13 Fast, 13 Furious

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In Memoriam

shirley temple spells

Temple of the Smile

+

O’Toole & Fontaine & Phil Sey Mo & Ramis & Sid & Paul Walker & Mrs Peacock & Dennis F%&king Farina & The Albino from P-Bride & Gandolfini & stop motion sick-ness & Ebert

&

Mr LittleJeans / Pagoda

pagoda

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don’t forget to peep out our ’12, ’11’10’09’08’07’06’05’04’03, and ’02 awards!! 

if you got this far, pat yourself on the back, then yer balls

until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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