Tag Archives: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Yellow, I Must Be Going

Minions
Spin-Off Limits
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG | 91 min

minions

There are würst 6 year-old birthday parties than a trip to see Minions, and this is where I come in.  It is actually where I come in, since I never saw Despicable Me 1 or 2.  And since I never saw either of those, it’s hard for me to say what Minions the movie is, other than an OK enuff movie with cool looking yellow things that occasionally say funny things, like ‘banana’ and stuff.  I particularly liked the first part of the movie where there’s a montage of the Minions trying to find a new master to be ruled by, only to somehow bring down the master they so love, and then start the search over again, and again, and again (it’s in the movie’s trailer).  That shiz was good.  The rest of the movie was juss OK.  The kids loved it all.  A parent in our party said that this stand-alone Minions movie wasn’t as good as the other movies, cause the Minions can’t be the focus, and that they shine brighter in the background.  And there you go!  But if you have a kid, you’ve already seen this, and already know this.  For the rest of you without kids, stop seeing kids movies, and start having kids, or at least try to

Oh, btw, in Staten Island, Lois Lane LIVES!!!!!

lois lane

Verdictgo: mild Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Minions making ZILLIONS at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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Walt Disney Imagi-Near-Future-ing

Tomorrowland
Tomorrow Comes Today
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG | 130 min

tomorrowland

This new Disney movie be like…

worlds fair 64

+

2 (1)

+

small world

+

space mountain

+

70s sci-fi art

70s future book 70s future

+

futurama

+

FLIGHT OF THE NAVIGATOR!!!!!!!!!

flight of the navigator

+

days of wheat

Star Wars merchandising

spaceballs

+

+ that girl from Under Duh Dome, showing all of her emotions

britt dome3

britt dome2

britt dome

+ that ole cocky, annoying lothario

clooney face

+ little girl robots!!

small wonder

and what does it equal????????????

TOMORROWLAND!!!!!!!!!!!!

A movie that’s PG and one of the better live action PG movies that I’ve seen, and the amount of live action PG movies I’ve seen in the past 5 years is like none!!!  Probably not true, but if you like the idea of the future, in Walt Disney’s eyes, but with like the techmology of the actual future, and not the one Walt dreamed of in the 60s, but sorta like the one Walt dreamt up in the 60s, then you’ll probably like this movie, even though they could have spent more time in Tomorrowland, instead of in Todayland, but these complaints are from Yesterdayland

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Tomorrowland is in your land, today, at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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The Turing Point

Ex Machina
Ro-bust!
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 108 min

ex machina

Ever wanted to see a less big A.I.?  You can in Alex Garland‘s Ex Machina, which is quiet and creepy and sexy and scary, and welll designed, and stuff!

It’s got dweeby Domhnall Gleeson trying to disguise his Irish accent with a horrible American accent, and Alicia Vikander trying not to be super hot cause she’s a robot who is super hot, and Oscar Isaac trying not to be a nice guy, and trying to be an amazing dancer (with Sonoya Mizuno) AND SUCCEEDING!!!

machina danc23

machina dance

What’s the movie about?  Robots, humans, robots interacting with humans, humans interacting with robots.  What is real?  What is robotz?  What are emotions?  How amazing a dancer is Oscar Isaac?  How badly do you want to stay at this place in Norway (where the film was filmed)?

Question is, do you like robots and da future and questions?  If you answer ‘yes’ or ‘ellllls yeah’ to all three, then see this film

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Machina ruins smoothy at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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Phat Amy

Pitch Perfect 2
Not Awful!
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 115 min

pitch perfect 2

I don’t think I sat all the way thru Pitch Perfect 1 (I was probably laying/lying, not sitting). The wife said, lets watch it on TV, and she watched it, while I played on my phone and mocked it while 1/2 paying attention. It was a movie you can get the gist of in about 8 seconds – it’s Glee, with girls as the focus, and maybe more laffs, but not really

Well, a funny thing happened on the way to being forced to see #2… after 5 minutes of eye-rolling, my eyes stood in place, and my ears followed, and I sat thru the sequel – ALL OF IT. And you know what, it was not awful! Sure, this thing was far from sexy or original or awesome or deep or anything, but it has more going for it AND was more enjoyable than Sucker Punch is/was, and Sucker Punch had scantily clad women fighting ninjas or something!  

Pitch Perfect 2‘s plot is razor thin, but it makes up for it in the girth that is Fat Amy/Rebel Wilson, who doesn’t steal the show, cause she IS the show.  Without Fat Rebel Wilson, the movie would be nothing but mousy Anna Kendrick looking for cheese and Brittany Snow rolling her eyes more than I did when I was forced to watch #1, and Elizabeth Banks (who directed this movie!!!) and John Michael Higgins with their not so witty repartee reprising its repetitive rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz’s.  But don’t worry, you get all of Fat Wilson, and the fat butt and fart and poop jokes that come with it!!  + Keegan-Michael Key! and David Cross!  and Snoop Dogg!!  and some Green Bay Packers!!!!!

The Pitch Perfercts are light and fluffy and pitch perfect for viewers young and old, but if it REALLY wanted to razzle dazzle (at least if it wanted to dazzle my razzles), they should go light on the tunes and heavier on the theatrics.  Time to Step-Up evermore yo!

Verdictgo: sirprizingly Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Pitch fast at a theater near jews tomorrow

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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The Old Rush

Iris
Fashioned Old
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 78 min

iris

I know nothing about fashion (just ask my wife), so I had no idea who Iris Apfel was.  You probably don’t either, but if you saw a picture of this woman, wouldn’t you want to spend 78 minutes with her?????????????

iris 2

no doubt you would, and our tour guide into a few years of this crazy lady’s life is none other than recently departed Grey Gardens/Gimmie Shelter brother Albert Maysles!!!

IRIS + ALBERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

iris albert

And what do you get????  A new lease on your own life.  Iris will show you that the busier you are, the more alive you will become!!  

iris

MAY WE ALL LIVE TO BE 90 AND BECOME FASHION ICONS WHO HAVE NO TIME TO REST CAUSE YOU TOO BUSY BEING THE BEST!!!!!!!!!!!

Verdictgo: MOS DEF Jeepers Worth A Peepers

feel Iris deserves your eyes, currently in limited release

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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