Tag Archives: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Plains Great

Nebraska
June Squibb June Squibb June Squibb June Squibb June Squibb 
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 115 min

nebraska

Oh .  You totally June Squibbed the squibb june out of that June Squibb performance you done did June Squibb!! June Squibb June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  bibb salad June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  Bib Fortuna June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb!!!!!!!!!!

june squibb

But seriously, this lovely and delightful Nebraska movie - concocted by / - is so amateurishly acted – IN A GREAT WAY, and soaked in such luscious black and white palettesz, where the gorgeous great plains cinematography juss makes you wanna take yer pants off and JO to the background, or piss on it, like the main characters done do did.  And oh man, that  guy is so dang cranky, and aloof, and feisty, and fun.  And oh man, that , he be so good as the straight-man to all the geriatric antics goings-on.  Man, oh man, this movie’s wrap party musta been insane – everyone wetting their Depends and in bed by 5pm!  Good job Will Forte.  You really made it.  You are so quiet but makes such a commotion.  Blesses you

Speaking of June Squibb, Mr Pibb should marry her and let her have a drink called Ms Squibb

Verdictgo: Jeepers Mos Def Worth A Peepers

Nebraska husks corn at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

1 Comment

Arkenstoned

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
A Barrel of Halves 
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 161 min

hobbit 2

OMG, The Hobbit is back, yo!!  And this time we aint letting our eyes watch none of that 48888 frames per second junk.  And we didn’t!  24fps baby, all the way!  Cause that’s what movies are suppose to look like!  And glad we stuck to them guns for ‘s 5th dip into Tolkienland, cause this looked like a movie and not a video game!

OK, so what of the actual movie?  It’s first 1/2 was FCUKING awesome!!!!  Our heroes were like running thru fields and mountains and forests and fighting things big and small and gross and scary – you know, yer typical LOTR stuff.  But then the short dudes ( and all those stoopid lookin dwarves) needed help, but don’t ask for it, but it comes anyway in the form of super-skinny-hot elves!!  There’s good ole Legolas (, back in blonde, in the only role he excels in, instead of how he is in any non-elf movie where he ex-sucks in) and this female elf who didn’t event exist in Tolkien’s realm, but Peter Jackso oh so wanted to have a token Tolkien female character, so they basically made a female Legolas, but with red hair!!!  She’s played by , and within 2 minutes of screen time, she makes you go, Liv Tyler as Arwen who???  IT’S TRUE CAUSE SHE’S SO COOL!!  But then the elves are like not helping the dwarves by jailing them, but then with MAGIC, they aint jailed, and then our heroes are in barrels, going down a rapid-crazed river (watch this bit of making of!), and trying to barrel-away from ugly orcs!!!  AHHHHHHHHHHH YEAH!!!!  THERE’S SO MUCH ACTION AND THIS IS ALL SO MUCH FCUKING FUN!!!

But of course the fun never lasts, and the rest of the movie is far from a blast.  We inch toward Smaug and his dragon’s lair, and even if he’s voiced by , it can’t change the fact that the rest of the journey to him is such a slog.  The river ride ends and then our little friends still have miles/kilometers to go, but first they must take a lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnng diversion in some lake port city where  is kinda awesome perfect as the lake port city’s master, and this dude with teef is his annoying helper, and theys trying not to get spied on by Stephen Colbert, and like try to get this human - Bard the Bowman () – to help them, but zzzzzzzzzzzz, and things and stuffzzzzzz.  Alas, they finally get going and go to the mountain where the dragon and Uncle Scrooge’s gold is be, and get some gem the dwarves need is be.  Fire from dragon goes whooooooooosh, and then the little dudes run around.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  WE SO CLOSE, but – CUT TO BLACK.  Movie ends with the least cliffy-cliff-hanger steak ever cooked.  Zzzzzzzzz.  WHAT HAPPENED TO THE BARRELS OF AWESOMES????

>Whatevs, we’re totally in for #3, but #2 was totally 1/2 meh and 1/2 YEAH.  It needed more  being an old beardo, and  looking hot in with his treebranch crown, and stuff, AND BARREL RIDES!!!!  But I can’t really complain too much.  This is the 5th Peter Jax JRRRRRR Tolkien joint, and it far from sucks.  CAN GEORGE LUCAS SAY THAT ABOUT HIS STAR WARSESESES??   NO HE CAN’T CAUSE HIS NECK IS TOO FAT FOR HIS THROAT TO LET HIS MOUTH SPEAK WORDS THAT NO ONE CARES TO HEAR!!

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Smaug is making a hobbi-ton o’ money at a theater near jews

Bitched At Swirth – Middle Earth Edition: yep, dwarf Aidan Turner totes looks like a midget Ian Somerhalder with long hair, but we got one better for ya… 

orc Bolg & Kellan Lutz

Lutz - Bolg2 

orc Bolg & Kellan Lutz

Lutz - Bolg 

orc Bolg & Kellan Lutz

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

2 Comments

P.L. Oh

Saving Mr Banks
A Spoonful of Genuine Sweetener
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 125 min

saving mr banks

How did Mary Poppins go from page (wait, it was a book???) to screen, Disney style?  ALL YOUR QUESTIONS (mostly) will be answered in the Disney studio approved  flick Saving Private Mr Banks.  Who Mr Banks?  He’s a character in the book/movie, AND HE NEEDS SAVING!!!!!  Walt (a very Walt ) has his own ideas of what to do with him and the rest of the book, and so does his script writer ( - who I still hate from his a$$hole days as the enemy in Adventures In Babysitting and Revenge of The Nerds II), and the songwritring Bros les Sherman (a game , and an always lame  - why Hollywood, WHY would you cast him in ANYTHING???), but the original author PL Travers (prim and overly proper , who is no stranger to nanny flicks) aint having none of it – no songs, no cartoons, no Van Dyke, no color red, no nonsense!  Ya see, Poppins and Co are like family to her.  OK, so what about her own family?  We learn all about them and her upbringing, running concurrently with the story of the 20 year struggle to make this Poppins movie happen.  Travers sure loved her dad (), a banker with a vivid imagination, and a livid love for drinking.  He wasn’t perfect, but he was dad!  And we’ll learn how that related to Poppins, and who Ms Mary P was actually based on!  But the real question is, will the Disney folks (or even limo driver ) get PL to p(ul)l a smile out of her dourpuss sourpuss face????  Dude, it’s Disney, of course they will, and it will happen to you too!

VerdictgoJeepers Worth A Peepers

Saving Mr Banks is money at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

0 Comments

Coma Chameleon

The Past (Le passé)
Divorce, Persian-Parisian Style
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 130 min

the past

Man, Asghar Farhadi sure LOVES himself some divorces!!  And why not?  His last feature, the well acted, but a tad overrated divorce discourse A Separation [TWS review] took home the Best Foriegn Pic Oscar, so if it aint broke, then why fix it?  Well, this time the divorce fun has been shifted from Iran to France, and once again, the divorce in question kinda serves as a macguffin for something deeper goings on, a mystery that will quietly and laboriously reveal its solution, and it’s worth sticking around to see the how and the why!

Our couple on the way outs is (The Artist‘s)  and (a terrific)  (with a terrifically horrible hairpiece).  She still lives in the outskirts of Paris, holding down a fort of kids, while he returned to Tehran.  He’s back in town, to finalize the dissolution of their marriage, but there’s other shiz going on, like a new man around - , and how their relationship came to be.  This new man has his own old lady, but she’s in a coma, and he’s trying to move on, with raggamuffined son  in tow.  But how’d this woman get to be in a coma, and isn’t this relationship with a new woman a bit scandolous if the old one’s in a coma and he’s already moving on?  Yes, sez Bejo’s daughter, (a solid) , who can’t even stand to be home anymore and deal with it.  But there’s more to it all, and now that old husband Mosaffa’s around, all kinds of things will be talked about and discovered and forced to be dealt with

It’s kinda strange that Farhadi barked up the same thematic tree, but I’m glad he did, cause The Past worked a lot better for me than A Separation did.  Can’t exactly figure out why, but lets just hope he doesn’t try to give divorce another look on his next film.  Maybe he can try something tha’s a little happier, like marriage!

Anywho, I’m betting 5 bux that The Past (Le passé) wins Best Foreign Pic at this year’s Oscars. Why? Cause (my beloveded) Film Forum has premiered the winner (at the end of the year) from the last two Academy Awards – Haneke’s Amour in 2012, and yes, Farhadi’s own A Separation in 2011.  Looking forward to finding out what will win ahead of time, when the FF picks their movie to close out 2014!

Ooops, I owe everyone $5. The movie didn’t even make the cut!!!

VerdictgoJeepers Worth A Peepers

The Past is present in NY/LA today and elsewhere elsewhen

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

0 Comments

Bale of Hey

Out of the Furnace
Men of Steel Town
Official ‘Website’ | Trailers & Mo
R | 116 min

out of the furnace

There seems to be some kinda minor-renaissance of gritty American shoot-em-up flicks these days.  It’s like the 70s all over again, cept not really.  With the overload of superhero drivel and toy driven babble dominating theaters, this resurgence is a good thing, and change of pace, even if the results have been a little uneven.  Take last year’s Killing Them Softly – a lil flick trying so hard to be mad hard and mad cool (like Mads Mikkelsen), and make a statement or something, but missed the mark, and bored we to tears.  Then there was the The Place Beyond The Pines, which was too much of a good thing, cramming 3 movies into 1, when it probably should have dumped at least one of them, or just been 9 hours of Ryan Gosling riding bikes.  And now comes ‘s Out of The Furnace, which get high marks for acting, attitude, and appearance, but by the time it wraps up, I kinda was like, um, er, uh, that was it?  What exactly was all that for?

But hey, where else are you gonna see  smolder, with beautiful longerish hair, as an older brother’s keeper to misfit troublemaker  (he does his best work when he doesn’t open his mouth), and melt the heart , and go hunting with uncle , and listen to  try to sound like the dude with half a face on Boardwalk Empire, and see who can be more smiley & gruffy & tuffy betweenith  or ??????  WHERE ELSE YOU GONNA SEE THIS???  Even if the hunt and be hunted intensity that fills a majority of the film kinda fizzles out at the end, it’s gritty good enuff for me, and should be gritty good enuff for you too

Lil tidbit – the film takes place in the steel-mill town of Braddock, Pennsylvania, where a 1941 novel of a similar name – Out of This Furnace - also took place.  FURNACE THAT!!!!!!!!!

VerdictgoJeepers Worth A Peepers

Furnace smolders with acting in limited release, and soon at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

0 Comments
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