Tag Archives: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

(To Be) Young, Omitted & Black

This Boy’s Life In Three Acts
Official Site | Trailer & Mo
R | 110 min



I usually don’t start these reviews by displaying the movie’s poster, let alone TWO posters, but not one picture can fully capture what’s going on in Barry JenkinsMoonlight – a tale of a(n African-American) boy becoming a (gay) man, told in three acts, like these posters can!

Act I was fantastic.  The boy – known as ‘Little’ (Alex R Hibbert) – is too shy to even speak – speak about not fitting in with the other boys, or what’s going on/wrong with his strung-out mom (Naomie Harris – trolling hardcore for Oscar bait, but I didn’t take the bait).  He finds solace in the hands and home of a drug dealer with a heart of gold (an incredible Mahershala Ali) and his beautiful lady friend (the beautiful singer Janelle Monáe, making her screen debut)

Life moves on… to Act II, which perhaps is even more fantastic than Act I was, where ‘Little’ now goes by ‘Chiron’, his birth name.  This high school version of the boy is still a fragile egg, but at least he has a better understanding of how the world works… apparently working against him.  His mom’s even more of a mess than before, and he still can’t fit in with the boys, cause he likes boys, but not ready to let that part of him out.  This version is played by Ashton Sanders, who holds the weight of his character’s sh!tty world mightily on his shoulders.  Sanders reminds me a lot of another up-and-comer – Keith Stanfield.  I’d love to see the two in a movie together (but not a buddy-cop one)

The third Act, where our boy is now a man, and goes by the name ‘Black’ (the 50 Cent-looking Trevante Rhodes), is important to the character’s arc, but not nearly as interesting or impactful as the previous two acts.  He finally comes to terms with who he truly is, and reunites with a former classmate, who we’ve also seen grow alongside him in each act (this final iteration played by the forver smiling André Holland).  It’s nice to see the two find peace with themselves and one another, but this final act is basically watching one long slow-a$$ scene of two dudes having dinner in a diner

Moonlight certainly shines, but could have been a bit more brighter, and a bit more fuller than the waxing gibbous that it ultimate is

Worth checking out – Jenkins’ previous feature/his debut – Medicine for Melancholy

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Moonlight rises, currently in limited release

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…


About Face

Bridget Jones’s Baby
Meet The Parents
Official Site | Trailer & Mo
R | 123 min


I was expecting nothing from the movie where Bridget Jones is expecting, mainly cause the trailer was so so so so awful Awful AWFULLLLLLLLL!!  It looked like a dreadful TV comedy of errors, and cheerie-o, pip-pip cheekiness, and thankfully, this third installment is none of that, although the soundtrack was cheesier than the world’s largest cheese sculpture 

Bridget Jones’s Baby finds BJ single again, but this time she and Renée Zellweger are thinner, and they both have a new face.  Bridget was much more charming with the girth, and those puffy red cheeks.  Same with Renée…


BUT, underneath this new face, today’s Renée Zellweger is still our same ye olde Renée Zellweger (who was like the Jennifer Lawrence of her time).  If you want to imagine the old faced Renée, you can particularly see it in any scene where she’s wearing glasses…


But for most of the movie she isn’t wearing glasses, but you start to get used to her face, in a way you start to get use to seeing what Carrie Fisher and Mark Hamill look like today (which means they don’t look as good as Harrison Ford looks today)

OK, enuff about the face, and more about the actual movie… which stars FOUR Academy Award winners!!!  Joining Zel is former beau Colin Firth, pops Jim Broadbent, and new addition, as BJ’s doc – Emma Thompson, who also co-wrote the script!  Their accolades were not mentioned in said horrible trailer, but their skills punch up a movie that serves as nothing more than a delightful one that women will enjoy today and on cable TV for eons to come

Hugh Grant sat this one out, so the new rival for BJ’s affections is Yankee Patrick Dempsey.  I’m not much of a Dempsey guy.  I left him after Can’t Buy Me Love, and never got McSteamed up by any of his subsequent work.  He’s a good foil for Colin Firth in Baby, which makes the series feel a little new, while dwelling on BJ issues very old.  Plus, we forgot much of what happened in both of the previous movies, cause the last one was TWELVE years ago, so this threequel felt both new and old!  NEWSED!!!

Man, twelves years is a long time.  Last movie we personally saw Zel in was 2008’s Appaloosa and I didn’t even remember anything about that movie, especially the fact that she was even in it.  Had to look it up.  Anywho, we hold too much onto the past, but we need to move on. Renée’s face is what is, and now we’re ready to see it again in Bridget Jones’s Journey To Uranus

By the way, what’s with Jones’s?  Why not juss Jones’??  Didn’t these English people invent English?

And what’s up with Sarah Solemani and how come we’ve never have heard of her???  She’s like a Persian-English Winona Ryder!!!  Adorablezz!!!




Verdictgo:  Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Jones for Bridget at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…


Grouponing Like An Egyptian

Groupon is great!  It makes things that you want to do and see and eat cheaper!  This past weekend, I used 4 of dems and what a weekend it was…

Trying The Old College That Doesn’t Want To Give
Official Site | Trailer
R | 110 min


Didn’t realize good ole Philip Roth released a book called Indignation 8 years ago, mainly cause I don’t read books, although I have read two of his books!  It’s true!  But I’m game for anything Roth – mainly cause I know it will involve Jews, neuroses, and Jewish neuroses!

This book was turned into a movie by former Focus Features studio chief, James Schamus, making his writing/directing debut! And it’s pretty good stuff!  It kinda feels like a stage play, and kinda staged like one – but it has one blow job and TWO hand job scenes!!!  STAGE THAT!!!

Our protagonist is an atheist Jew Logan Lerman (the Wallflower showing some acting chops here), who’s just gettin started at a WASPy Ohio college in the early 50s.  All he wants to do is work and study hard, but runs into trouble when a bedeviling shiksa (Sarah Gadon) gives him said BJ and saids HJs.  She’s unstable, and throws him for a loop.  Then he throws the dean (Tracy Letts, in full a$$hole mode) for a loop, and the two clash in a war of words – in two scenes which are easily the best parts of the film – yes, even more than the scenes involving the BJ and the HJs.  This tête–à–tête is the definition of the word ‘indignation’ – anger or annoyance provoked by what is perceived as unfair treatment – which was great, cause this movie made me learn a new word AND the movie entertained me!  Learning AND being entertained – a deadly combo that is actually very lively!  STAGE THAT!!!

In case you were wondering what Groupon was used here – it was for Fandango monies!

Verdictgo:  Jeepers Worth A Peepers

dig into Indignation, currently playing in limited release

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

and then if was off to use a Groupon for dinner at this Georgian (USSR style, not the Peachy state) restaurant called Pepela.  it was a really cool space, but when we arrived, we were the only customers in the entire place for 20 minutes.  we literally thought we were going to get murdered, but the only things that died were our fears after we delved into the delicious meal – featuring a thing that’s better than a pizza – a khachapuri!!!


(this isn’t an actual picture of the one I ate, but this is what ours looked like)

next night, and new Groupon adventures awaited!

first it was dinner – at Serenata, a nice modern Mexican restaurant.  I stuffed my face on gauc, queso fundido, some empanadas, some enchiladas and a quesadilla. MUY BIEN!!!!

and then off to see..

The Bangles
Irving Plaza
August 27th, 2016

#HazyShadeofAwesome #MoreThanZero #BanglesYourHead #SetItHoffs #SimonAndGarfunky

A video posted by Thigh Master (@thighmaster) on

in 75 RAWKING minutes, the three Bangles (Michael Steele left in 2005) rawked the fcuk outta 22 songs for a thousand dudes in their 50s who came to relive the 80s.  I’m close to 40, but I’m old in thought, and young in farts.  Age and decades aside, their spirit is still strong and their fans still love them (and they all still look pretty mad fly)  

While the ladies have written some timeless tunes in their time, they can cover the crap outta other people’s ditties.  Personally, their cover of Simon & Garf’s ‘Hazy Shady of Winter’ (see video above), might Might MIGHT be, my most flavorite cover version of a song EVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.  Yes, ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  EAT THAT BEATLES!!!!  (who were like a male Bangles of their time)

Man, is Susana Hoffs like the all time hottest Jew mt EVERest* and Sinai or wat????

susana hoffs

hoffs today

*that isn’t my wife :)

Setlist – Mary Street / Some Dreams Come True / Manic Monday / Restless / James / He’s Got a Secret / Going Down to Liverpool (Katrina and the Waves cover) / September Gurls (Big Star cover) / I’m in Line / The Real World / Live (The Merry‐Go‐Round cover) / A Hazy Shade of Winter(Simon & Garfunke cover) / If She Knew What She Wants (Jules Shear cover) / Want You / Dover Beach / Open My Eyes (Nazz cover) / Silent Treatment / In Your Room / Hero Takes a Fall

EncoreHow Is the Air Up There (The Changin’ Times cover) / Walk Like an Egyptian / Eternal Flame

to cap the weekend, I got to see my beloved Peabs, but no Groupon exists for such hotness – as love don’t cost a thing.  although we bought pizza at face value and got to see Edie Brickell do the same thing with her kin!


The Mighty Bosch

Jheronimus Bosch, Touched by the Devil
Like Watching Dried Paint
Official Site | Trailer
Not Rated | 86 min


I love Hieronymus Bosch.  Love.  LOVE!!!!!  He’s so fcuking twisted!  In a time when paintings were too Jesusy, and way too Jesusy, and WAY WAY WAY too Jesusy, Mr Bosch was getting evil with the Jesusy stuff!  His painting freak me the fcuk out.  If the heavenly and mainly hellishly things going on in them existed in real life, I would probably not want to be a part of real life!

I mean, look at this fcuking thing!!

bosch bug thing

or look at these fcuking things!!

strange bosch

and what the fcuk is going on here??

rape bosh

I mean, I could go on and on, and show you ever more fcuked up sh!t, but there’s only so much you cannot unsee

bosch odd


So many questions – and WTF? is the question that needs to be asked over and over!

Pieter van Huystee‘s documentary – Jheronimus Bosch, Touched by the Devil –  isn’t necessarily about Bosch as a man and a painter – it’s more about the mounting of a Dutch exhibition taking place in his hometown, to mark the 500th anniversary of his death in 1516, and that’s kinda a shame.  Cause we want to know more about Biggty Bosch, and not as much about the exhibition and the people mounting it

BUT, the process of mounting this exhibition is interesting in its own right.  A Dutch team was assembled to scour the earth and re-examine and re-evaluate the 25 known Bosch works in existence, which are attributed to him or his studio.  This team left no stone unturned, or even wood unturned.  Thru the wood of the paintings’ backing, they can figure out a year, and some of these paintings that are known to be works of Bosch, fall beyond the year of his death!  Woah, not possible!  And the film digs deep into the details of the actual paintings, and shows these details in full, which is a treat, since none of us will ever get that close to his paintings!!! (SO MANY OWLS!!! SO LITTLE TIME!!).  And they do this cool infrared photo stuff where you can see the drawings behind the paintings – like stuff that was once there and now aint!!!

bosch infared

OK, so we don’t get learn about Bosch the man, or his motivations  – cause its apparent that that information doesn’t exist – and so all we are left with is only MORE questions, but isn’t the goal of art is to make you think and question things and stuff, while marveling at its beauty (and/or horror)?? 

Verdictgo:  Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Bosch is currently playing in limited release

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…


Pitter-Pater Familiars

Star Trek Beyond
Somewhere Between Be-Yummy and Be-en-There-Done-That
Official Site | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 122 min

star trek beyond

Beyond is the third Star Trek movie with this new, hip and young Enterprise crew, and it’s already starting to feel very familiar – both good and bad.  Good in a sense that we still love Love LOVE these guys (Pine/Quinto/Urban/Pegg/Saldana/Cho/Yelchin – RIP):, and their familiar presence is a continuing reassurance that we’ll have fun with them no matter what trouble they get themselves into 

Meeting them in round 1 was pure bliss, and battling Benedict Cumberbatch in round 2 was supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, and in this third one, we’re totally on board for the new mission – but the bad?  – while they’re off exploring new worlds, even without their ship(!), it feels like it’s nothing new.  This is the 3rd of their 5 year mission, but it kinda feels like its 33rd year of a 55 year mission.  Familiarity – both good and bad

OK, so there was some new fresh newness – like a NEW bad guy – Idris Elba!  And they silenced the fanboys who were pissed that The Beastie Boys’ ‘Sabotage’ was featured in the trailer – CAUSE THE SONG ENDED UP BEING IN THE FILM – AND IT WORKS FOR THE STORY!  And the movie was fun – but it’s starting to feel a bit like running thru the motions.  More of an actual trek, and less of a journey

Maybe in the next Trek, they can boldly go somewhere else, and hopefully as far as humanly and alienly as possible from these fcuking dumb-a$$ looking creatures…

ugly stoopid aline

Verdictgo: still, love me this crew, so low-end Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Star Trek doesn’t go too far Beyond, currently at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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