Tag Archives: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Contras Banned

Kill The Messenger
Runner Renner
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 112 min

kill the messenger

I was alive (and well) in the 80s, and heard all about the Iran-Contra Affair, but had no idea what any of it meant, other than Oliver North lied to us, and Fawn Hall had people fawning all over her. That’s why need movies like Kill The Messenger – to remind us of the shadowy things and stuff that the US done did, that we either don’t know or cared to forget about. The messenger is Gary Webb (Jeremy Renner in the rare role of a good guy), a reporter for the San Jose Mercury News, who blew the lid off of a story of how the CIA backed the sale of Nicaraguan Contras’ cocaine on American soil, and turned the profits into the Contras’ ammunition for their freedom fight back home. Once the lid came off, it couldn’t be put back on – and Webb became collateral damage of his own story. The CIA and even the media itself tried to bury the lead, and the lead writer with it. Michael Cuesta‘s film solidly captures the tension and fallout for Webb/Renner, but it never quite adds up to All The President’s Men II, even with a stellar supporting cast consisting of Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Rosemarie DeWitt, Barry Pepper, Ray Liotta, Paz Vega, Oliver Platt, Michael Sheen, Richard Schiff, Andy García, Robert Patrick, Michael K Williams and Tim Blake Nelson

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Kill shoots to inform at a theater near jews

I’m still waiting for a Contra movie, called Contra: Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start

contra1

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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Pike’s Peaked

Gone Girl
Desperate Housewife
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 149 min

gone girl

Gone Girl the movie is thankfully no Gone Baby Gone

but it’s no Zodiac either. NOTHING IS ZODIAC!!! Zodiac‘s the only great thing post 9/11 besides my wife and Curly Ws!!

What is Gone Girl? Some ballyhooed book by some gal writer who used to write about TV for Entertainment Weekly. Watching all that trashy TV probably helped her come up with her trashy story about a bad husband and a wicked wife, which turns even darker under the watchful eye and skill of director David Fincher‘s skillful watching eye. HIS EYES WATCH, WITH SKILL!!!

There’s like a twist midway thru the film/story that apparently will ruin everything if we mentioned it – so lets juss say – the film is not called Dead Girl. SHE GONE!!!! Who she? She Rosamund Pike – that icy blondey gal who usually doesn’t have much to do in other movies, besides being some pretty girl who our hero wants or something. Well Gone Girl finally showcases Pike’s acting chops, and boy is she choppin here, yo!!! While she GONE, baby, GONE, left holding the bag is hubby Ben Affleck, who has to face the public spotlight, and scrutiny – A ROLE BEN AFFLECK WAS BORN TO PLAY!!!! And a funny thing happens on the way to not loving Ben Affleck as per usual – YOU START TO FEEL FOR BEN AFFLECK(‘s character). GO BEN AFFLECK’S FLAWED CHARACTER!!!

Movie is be long, but it all goes by real quicks. Not exactly sure what went on, or if any of it made sense, but it wasn’t The Curious Case of Benjamin Borings, so that’s good enuff for me, from Fincher, although I always eggspect Zodiac II

Along for the ride are his annoying screen sister (Carrie Coon), his crafty lawyer (Tyler Perry’s Madea‘s Law Firm), and Doogie Howser, playing against type, as a character who is not a child prodigy doctor + apparently Ben Affleck’s penis, and this girl, who’s boobs aren’t gone, they HERE!!!!!

Emily Ratajkowski2

Emily Ratajkowski

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Gone Girl is found at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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#MirrenFace

The Hundred-Foot Journey
A Spoonful of Curry & A Poundful of Sugar
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG | 122 min

100 foot journey

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN AN INDIAN FAMILY MOVES TO A PICTURESQUELY QUAINT FRENCH VILLAGE AND OPENS UP A RESTAURANT – 100 FEET ACROSS THE STREET FROM A SNOOTY FINE DINNING EATERY?????????????????????????????????????? Oh man, if only there were a book that tackled this story idea that got Oprah and Spielberg so jazzed that they turned it into a movie directed by the guy who made that Chocolat movie! OH WAIT, THAT IS WHAT HAPPENED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Praise jeebus, and ganesha, and PG movies that you can actually bring your family too, even if the drama on-hand is about intense as cracking an egg

Sassy and fussbudgety Om Puri and his Indian family flee India cause there was like some political fire or something that burned down their restaurant and his wife/their momma, and so they go here and there until their van breaks down in some French village, where they quickly open up an Indian restaurant – that will forever change everything – for them, the town, and the town’s reigning cooking mistress, and restaurant neighbor – the perma-frowny Helen Mirren. She is SO dang frowny, and sourpussy that they HAD to highlight it on the movie poster

100 foot poster journey

Then again, Mirren makes that face in every movie she’s in. It’s her go to face, and I for one have had enuff of #MirrenFace

Well guess what happens?? One of the Indian kin – Manish Dayal – is a master chef in the making, and he is such a master chef in the making that not even the bitchy Helen Mirren can deny his talents, and so maybe JUSS MAYBE, she will stop being so cranky that she’ll take the spatula that’s stuck up her a$$ and start cooking things up with her enemy neighbors!!! And what about the Frenchy restaurant cutie patootie sous chef Charlotte Le Bon?? Will their be romance a simmering between her and the master chef in the making or will their yearning ambitions to become king/queen of the kitchen stand in the way of their syrupy soup of love????? OMG, YOU MUSS BE SWEATING WITH NERVES JUSS READING THIS REVIEW!!!!

For a movie about food, the taste can at times be pretty formaggi, but for the most part – the cheesiness sizzles, unlike in Chef, where it kinda stank like rotten meat

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

The Journey begins at a theater near jews Friday

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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Besson Golden Pawn

Lucy
Mindless Over Matter
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 90 min

Film Title: Lucy

Fcuk Marvel and their brand of summer fun. If I had my pick, I’d let Luc Besson direct all my blockbuster blusters. Feels like 9ever since he directed ANY movie. I actually thought the last movie he directed was The Fifth Element. Apparently he’s directed 9 movies since then, and I saw 3 of them. One of those is his latest – Lucy – and it actually actually actually finally feels like the proper follow-up to Element, and more so to his BLAMMMMMAZIN Leo/The Professional. Sure, over the past decade+ he wrote & produced popcorn fluff like The Transporter & Taken flix, but he didn’t direct them. With Lucy, he directed the living fcuk out of it, and my eyes are thankful for it

Scarlett Johansson is Lucy, a girl thrown out of her element within the first 5 minutes of the film. She (and we) is quickly tossed into a shadowy underworld with an Asian gang trying to transport some beyond-mind altering drugs, sewn into her stomach. At one point she gets kicked in the stomach, the drug is released into her system, and BOOOM, her brainpower starts elevating from underused human levels to ones that would make William James Sidis‘ IQ seem like zero. So what happens from there? ANYTHING. This crazy brainpower power allows Lucy/ScarHo to do anything and everything and anyeverything!!! And Besson runs with it for the remaining minutes, complete with exceptional visuals and Morgan Freeman and his voice (and a Damon Albarn song!)!!! I almos wish there were more minutes!!!

While the movie is about the brain, it’s far from cerebral. It isn’t fully dumb, but it’s more dumb fun than it is intellectual property. But you wanna know what? I had more fun watching this summer flick than I did with any superhero and Michael Bay movie of recent memory. FYI – The only Michael Bay movie worth remembering is The Island, another smart dumb fun flick starring ScarJooo. FYI – LUC BESSON IS THE BEST (mostly)!!! PLEASE MAKE MORE WOMEN KICKING ASS STUFF THINGS!!!

Verdictgo: Jeepers MOS DEF Worth A Creepers

Lucy loos at a theater near you

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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Waxing Gibbous

Magic In The Moonlight
Medium Medium
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 98 min

magic in the moonlight 1

Woody Allen loves the 20s(/30s). Disclaimer – SO DO I!!! Woody is a man who made his mark making very contemporary movies, but some of his more memorable ones travel back to that time – Purple Rose of Cairo, Sweet & Lowdown (a personal fav), Bullets Over Broadway & sorta Midnight In Paris. His latest – Magic In The Moonlight – transports him and us back to them delovely jazzy-bobbed times, and it may be the Woodman’s weakest entry of the ye olden times lot – but hey, LOOK AT THAT LOT!!!

Not saying that Moonlight isn’t watchable – IT IS!!! – but it juss aint all that magical. If you like Woody Allen movies, you will probably like this film, and if you like Emma Stone & Colin Firth, then the same will also be true. If you don’t like Emma Stone or Colin Firth, you probably don’t like smiling and/or fried chicken. I like me some Firth, but I personally didn’t think he was the right fit for his character – a despirited magician out to debunk medium Stone – and yet I still cared that he would eventually crumble and fall for Ms Emma (oops – spoiler alert!!! like you didn’t see that happening anywayz)

The scenery is nice in the background (the south of France!) and the foreground – Hamish Linklater, Eileen Atkins, and Simon McBurney (love his voice SO much) add to the mild fun – and it’s a Woody Allen movie, so you probably already know if yer gonna see it or not, magical or not. Abracadab-DUH!

Verdictgo: as a movie movie? Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badgers, but as a Woody Allen movie? Jeepers Worth A Creepers!

Moonlight shimmys today in limited release

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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