Tag Archives: YTMND

Brian Pepper’s Lonely
Hearts Club Band

Trash Humpers
Be Kind, Don’t, Korine
Official Website | Trailers & Mo

Trash Humpers is the most unwatchable movie since Inland Empire.  We’d rather watch Willem Dafoe’s penis squirt blood 7 times over than watch 7 seconds of whatever Trash Humpers is/was.  Lo-fi camcorder VHS aesthetics is fine by us, as long as it isn’t used to film people humping trash in masks that not even Mask would wear.  The trash humpers should hump this movie cause it’s trash.  Trash should be insulted cause it’s not as garbage as Trash Humpers is be.  We’d rather be humped by Brian Peppers than write one more word about Trash Humpers

Very Watchable: writer/director Harmony Korine‘s previous work, the impressionistic impersonator tale Mister Lonely.  a muss see for anyone with eyes, and even for those who don’t!

Verdictgo: Slit Yer Eyes Out Repoopulous

Hump goes dry this Friday in NY only, and elsewhere elsewhen.  you’ve been warned

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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Get Them A Bodybag, Yeah!!!!

Hot Tub Time Machine
It Lame From The 80s
Official Website | Trailers & Mo

We might be the last person on earth to see Hot Tub Time Machine, but also might be the first to call bullshit on it.  Why?  Two things: it’s about as 80s as Justin Bieber and about as hilarious as From Justin To Kelly (although that hovercraft scene was amazing!!!).  Wrong you say.  Hilarious you spray.  Poop, pee and jizz jokes?  Forgot how sharp they can be!  Waiting for a guy (Crispin Glover, wasted yet again) to lose his arm in clumsy situations that not even Harold Lloyd would bother with?  Zing!   Hey, look, it’s Chevy Chase not making sense!  Guess no one watches Community, where he does that every week, and munch better, and so are the show’s 80s references.  Well, what about Rob Corddry?  Oh no, he’s not annoying one bit!  And by bit, we mean annoying as SHIT.  Seriously folks, what’s the big deal here?  All premise, some promise, no permanence. You want a throw yerself back into the glory John Cusack days?  Watch Better Off Dead or even it’s younger brother One Crazy Summer, which are both more rad than this one lazy bummer

Zabka!!!!:  only thing worth noting here is the ‘introduction’ (as it appears in the credits) of the leg sweeper William Zabka!!!  peep this Retrocrush interview with the Academy Award nominee (yes, you read that correctly)

Verdictgo: Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges

HTTM is currently lukewarm at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…


P-P-P-Poker Space

IMAX: Hubble 3D
Narrow In Telescope
Official Website | Trailer & Mo

If you’ve ever seen an IMAX movie about space before, say the ’85 Cronkite narrated classic The Dream Is Alive, then there’s really no reason to see another.  Hubble 3-D is the latest to hit IMAX screens, and in space, or anywhere for that matter, no one will hear you scream, cause this 45 minute look at astronauts repairing the telescope, sadly too sparingly interspersed with some gorgeous deep space photos it has taken over the lightyears, won’t get much of a rise out of anyone.  Leonardo DiCaprio‘s voice over doesn’t exactly create a lift off either.  Somebody peas wake us when they get their a$$es to Mars!

To The MAX: IMAX’s very first film Tiger Child debuted at the Japan Expo in 1970.  peep this nifty video of the Expo’s grounds

Verdictgo: Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges

Hubble stubbles today in limited IMAX release

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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