Archive | Movie Reviews RSS feed for this section

Sacramento Jam

Lady Bird
Petty In Pink
Official Site | Trailers & Mo

R | 94 min

Greta Gerwig‘s directorial debut Lady Bird was… just OK

Yes, I saw it very post-hype, but when the movie got going, I really bought into it.  I was rooting for this to be a modern Pretty In Pink – a high school misfit from the wrong side of the tracks, trying her damnedest to fit in, and grab a hot guy.  This movie was definitely trying to be its own Pretty In Pink, and it ended up being just pretty (a nice postcard from Sacramento), and pretty much not all that much to write home about

I liked Saoirse Ronan‘s performance as the lead, but the movie felt like a bunch of high school memories strung together with some forced emotional strain between daughter and mother (Laurie Metcalf) that never really connected its dots or come to a gripping conclusion it was hoping to achieve

Still, if you ever wanted to know what a Greta Gerwig character in a Greta Gerwig movie would be like, like how there’s always a Woody Allen character in every Woody Allen movie, then Lady Bird is your gateway to a wig of Gerwig,  To me, it’s a movie I’ve already mainly forgotten about, although I would be open to visiting Sacramento 

Also, the movie could have used even more Beanie Feldstein, and/or Beanie Wells

Verdictgo: very low ened Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Lady Bird flaps in lil wings at a theater near jews and white nationalists

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…


Playing Against Typeset

The Post
All The Old News That’s Fit To Reprint
Official Site | Trailers & Mo

PG-13 | 115 min

The President is a liar filled with lies!  Newspapers need to speak the truth but are trying to be silenced by the President!  Women are ready to step up and play with the big boys!  The country is under much duress and stress cause of all of this stuff!  Is this 2017????  No, it’s 1971!!!  OMG – HOW TIMELY!!!  OMG – SOMETHINGS NEVER CHANGE!!!  HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF!!!  FAKE NEWS!!  REAL NEWS!!!!!!

Yeah, so, er, um, yeah, so Señor Spielbergo and Tom Hanks and Meryl Streep do their patriotic flaming liberal duty to stick it to today’s man by re-sticking to yesterday’s man in making a lesser All The President’s Men in The Post!  This movie wasn’t HASTE-ly made, and there’s a lot of love and energy and great acting (and mustard brown color) going on, and IT IS ALL SO IMPORTANT, but it’s ultimately a movie about whether a newspaper owner and editor want to green light or red light publishing a story.  That’s it!  That’s the whole movie!  Should we publish this and let the people know the truth???!!!  Or do we play it cool and not publish and therefore not get punished???  WHAT TO DO???  WHAT TO DO???

It’s kinda much ado and to do about nothing.  Look, I agree it’s all IMPORTANT stuff, and I did enjoy watching this movie, but after it ended, I was like, that’s it?  They published a story and that was the entire movie???  Oh, so it’s more about that.  It’s about how Kay Graham came into her own, being the Washington Post‘s owner, and how editor Ben Bradlee always fought the good fight!  Good for them, and for us!  No, seriously!  I grew up on The Washington Post, and it remains my paper!  I LOVE THEM!

But I dunno.  I’m tossed.  It’s a story that needed to be told, but there’s not much storytelling to tell.  It feels like easy material kinda beneath the heavyweight skillsets of Spielbergo and Hanks and Streep.  They could have made the same darn good movie with Brett Ratner, Seth Rogen and Katherine Heigl and it would still be important!

Verdictgo: I mean, it’s still a good movie, so Jeepers Worth A Peepers

The Post publishes at a theater near jews and white nationalists

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…


Mic’d Down

Pitch Perfect 3
U.S.Oh No
Official Site | Trailers & Mo

PG-13 | 94 min

The Pitch Perfect movies have always been barely movies, and the 3rd outing proved to be the barest of the barely movie-like movies of the lot.  It didn’t have to be this way.  They could have made a fun movie with a loose and fun plot, instead of a 90 minute DJ Khaled infomercial.  They and we all know that the best parts are always going to belong to Rebel Wilson‘s Fat Amy, and they try to play that up and then some in this (hopefully) ‘final’ installment of the franchise.  But it’s all for not.  A backstory about her evil dad John Lithgow?  It holds about as much charm and intrigue as Lithgow’s horrible dingo Australian accent.  Look, flying kicks and explosions was a step in the right direction, but the kicks don’t pack much of a wallop, and the explosions all seem like misfires.  Fat Amy has outgrown her sister Bellas, and in turn, outgrown the movie series.  Dump the Bellas and give Fat Amy her own franchise, and make her dad Mel Gibson, or something ‘edgy’ like that

VerdictgoSum Merit But No Stinkin Badgers

Pitch is far from Perfect, at a theater near jews and white nationalists

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…


Poker In The Front

Molly’s Game
Deck Stacked Against Her
Official Site | Trailers & Mo

R | 140 min

Aaron Sorkin pulls out all the stops in his slick and fun directorial debut – Molly’s Game, and while there is much to enjoy in the true story of poker pitboss Molly Bloom’s rise and fall, the end result doesn’t come close cinematically to the other films he’s lent his penmanship to – Steve Jobs, Moneyball and The Social Network, but that’s OK, cause it’s hard to hit home runs in both the writing AND directing categories, and especially on one’s first time out behind the lens, and it’s also OK, cause the movie is really good!

Molly Bloom (a confident and chesty Jessica Chastain) is all about rising and falling.  Once on the cusp of skiing at the Winter Olympics, she saw her lifelong medaling dreams dashed in a bad trial run downhill, and so she picked herself up, moved away from the snow to Los Angeles and started over again.  Found work working for a fast-paced prick, who happened to run an underground poker game with Hollywood stars and rich hot shots, and found her new calling running those games.  A big risk for both players and Molly, but the money was just too good to pass up on.  Things go good, then things go bad, but Molly always seems to find her way out on top again, and again… until the FBI comes in to say GAME OVER.  But that’s not where the movie ends – it’s actually the starting point, where Molly tries to fight back at the system with a lawyer (Idris Elba) who sees the good in her, and the evil in the world.  DAMN YOU EVIL WORLD WITH YOUR LAWS AND STUFF!!

That’s nice and all, but it’s actually all the meetings with her lawyer, and courtroom non-drama that drags the film down a bit from being something fantastic.  While the chips are stacked and the cards are dealt, the movie flies, but when it gets bogged down in legal briefs, it seems far from being brief, as it lingers on a little TOO much.  Still, Molly and Sorkin have a winning hand and a winning movie, and Kevin Costner works magic in limited screentime, and you know if there’s a movie about competition and Kevin Costner’s in it – it’s a winner!

VerdictgoJeepers Worth A Peepers

Game on Xmas day at a theater near jews and white nationalists

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…


Needle In The Hey

Phantom Thread
Fashion Victims
Official Site | Trailers & Mo

R | 130 min

A movie about a frigidity, neurotic clothing designer in 1950s London who hates distractions AND butter doesn’t exactly sound like the most swinging time this holiday season, but there is just SOMETHING so entrancing about PT Barnum Anderson‘s Phantom Thread that makes it the greatest film with the word ‘Phantom’ in it (sorry Jar Jar, Billy Zane and that horrible screen adaption of the Opera with Gerard Butler)!

I cannot even tell you that this is a muss see movie.  It would actually make for a really boring home rental, but for 2ish hours I was udderly mesmerized about the tale of a tailor (with a really dumb name – Reynolds Woodcock), and his muse who he doesn’t seem to be so a-MUSE-d by.  Maybe cause this is rumored to be Daniel Day-Lewis‘ acting swan song, and so we paid extra thought and love to his INCREDIBLE performance, or that we fell hard and felt so bad for his underloved love interest (Vicky Krieps), or that Dan Day’s icy-cold staring sister (Lesley Manville) set the prefect chilled mood for this entire movie.  Or maybe cause the film was made with such attention to detail and care, that we cared so much about all the details.  I wanted to physically be in all the places and settings they occupied and roamed around in.  TAKE ME THERE!!!  And while the clothes they made were really pretty, I didn’t really want to wear any of them, but that’s cause I’m not really into wearing dresses

We often think that David Fincher is keeper of the Kubrick torch, but PT Barnum Anderson may actually be the true torchbearer.  Phantom Thread feels like a Kubrick movie – uninviting and distant, and yet it makes you feel up close and personal, and sew – what more can you ask for in a film?  NEEDLE ME THAT BATMAN!!!

VerdictgoBreast In Show

Thread bares in limited release on Xmas day

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

eXTReMe Tracker