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The Show Must Egon

Ghostbusters
Bustin’ Loose
Official Site | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 105 min

ghostbusters

THEY DID IT – THEY MADE A GHOSTBUSTERS – WITH WOMEN!!!  And the world will survive it, and the world will move on.  Blasphemy doesn’t exist anymore cause nothing is sacred.  In our lifetime Citizen Kane will get a remake or a sequel or a prequel or a shequel.  Maybe even Jesus will get a reboot.  But you know what, life and art has been repeating and imitating itself for centuries, so why not juss give up and accept the misery, especially when the results are sometimes not awful

Ghostbusters 2016 is NOT awful.  It’s actually 2/3rds really good, and then in the final 1/3rd of the film – a little TOO familiar and too much of a good nothing.  But that first 2/3rds – man – the women (Melissa McCarthy, Kristen Wiig, Kate McKinnon and Leslie Jones) are FUNny and spunky (McKinnon comes out on top of the four), and the film moves fast and is flashly, and I was all with it!!  But that ending?  You’ve seen it before when it was already called Ghostbusters, and the filmmakers missed an opportunity to make something entitrely new, and make the franchise something truly their own

Now I get it, you want to pay homage and respect to the original, and the cameos of the old timers were nice, and the other nods to the first movie, and to the fans are necessary, but there has to be a limit.  The original was actually a serious movies with perfect humor to offset the scariness.  This new one is all for laughs, and since they’re not taking things too seriously, it’s kinda hard for us to take it seriously either

But then again, a funny Chris Hemsworth is better than a serious one

hemsworth ghostbusters

VerdictgoJeepers Worth A Peepers

Ghostbusters call at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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Please Be My X-Wife

X-Men: Apocalypse
Sophie Page Turner
Official Site | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 144 min

x-men apocalypse

Oh, hey – another superhero movie!  But ya know what?  I’ve come to the realization that out of ALL the superhero franchises in existence – I like the X-Men ones the most, and I’m not even really an X-Men kinda guy (my peeps are The New Teen Titans of the late 80s, early 90s).  I think I’ve liked or super-liked every single one of the X-Men movies, even the Brett Ratner one (but not really the solo Wolverine ones, which doesn’t make much sense as to why they aren’t so great, cause Hugh as Wolvie is SO great)

Well, this X-Men movie may not be perfect (Oscar Isaac‘s mummy resurrected bad guy was kinda cool, but the final battle vs him wasn’t so much), but I am on board with whatever this movie is.  Mainly cause…

they don’t let Olivia Munn talk! (she’s in an insult to actors everywhere who cannot get employed, while she is)

oliva munn x men

and Evan Peters as the super fast dude is STILL the fcuking BBBBBBBBBBBBBEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

x-men peter evans

but more importantester than ANYTHING… 

Sophie Turner is sooooooo SUPER fine, in leather, and not in leather

(I’m a sucker for redheads, in leather, and not in leather)

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grey sophie

VerdictgoJeepers Worth A Peepers

X-Men is about to X-it theaters soon!

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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Last Days of Discord

Love & Friendship
Whit Smart
Website | Trailers & Mo
PG | 94 min

love and friendship

Wait, there’s a Jane Austen novel that HASN’T been turned into a movie????  Wait, Whit Stillman has only directed 5 movies???  Wait, Whit Stillman’s fifth movie is a Jane Austen movie that reunites his luscious lively lady leads – Kate Beckinsale & Chloë Sevigny – from Last Days of Disco????  COUNT US WAY IN!!!

And guess what – Whit’s wondrous wit and witdom works wery well in English Georgian society pomp and circumstance AND circumstance and pomp!  YAY!!!!  

Did we mention this movie was PG – so you and everyone you know can see AND enjoy this?  

Did we mention that this guy – Tom Bennett – is a dapper dandy dunce that deeply delights???  

Did we mention that we loved Loved LOVED how all the characters were introduced onscreen with title identifiers??  WISH MORE MOVIES DID THIS!!

james martin

VerdictgoJeepers MOS DEF Worth A Peepers

Love needs your Freindship, currently in limited release

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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Tearjerking You Off

Me Before You
Confined & So Fine
Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 110 min

me before you

There once was this super-rich British guy named Will (Sam Claflin), who had everything – a hot girlfriend, a great job, and a thrill-seeking lifestyle.  Then BOOOM – one day he instantly became a quadriplegic and hated his new life cause it was not his old one  

No one could make this guy happy or juss try to get him to live to live – not his parents (fancy dancey pants-ters Janet McTeer and Charles Dance), their money (THEY OWN THE TOWN’S CASTLE!), his physical therapist (Steve Peacocke), or his last 6 caregivers  

So, guess what happens when cheery cheery goody goody gumdrops caretaker #7 – Louisa ‘Lou’ (Emilia Clarke, and her caterpillar eyebrows) enters the picture?  Well, after much guff and puff, she works her Mary Poppins magic on him and BOOM – he can’t imagine HIM before HER – and she can’t imagine HER before HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

But will it be enuff for him to want to live the life he permanently has??????????????????

Yes, there’s a lot of predictability going on here, in the movie based off of the book by Jojo Moyes (who also wrote the screenplay), and yes, the screen is practically tearjerking you off endlessly (and yes, I fell for it and cried), and yes, everything is kinda ridiculous (I can’t imagine the movie being as engaging if the guy didn’t have all the money in the world), BUT I don’t give a flying fcuk – cause this weepie is the kinda movie I expected and got – fears for tears – LET IT FLOW!!!!!!!  It’s like the opposite of 50 Shades of Gray – it’s like 50 Shades of Rainbows!!  Who wants to be tortured by a love story, when you can be hugged by one????

Oh, and the guy who played Neville Longbottom is in it, and he’s great!

Oh, and Jenna Coleman is in it too, and she’s literally the cutest flipping thing ever!!!  LOOK AT HER CUTE LIL NOSE!!!!  I CAN’T IMAGINE MY LIFE BEFORE HER!!!

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VerdictgoJeepers Mos Def Worth A Peepers

Me can be seen by You at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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Throw Me My Idols

Raiders!: The Story of the Greatest Fan Film Ever Made
Whip Smart
Website | Trailers & Mo
Not Rated | 104 min

raiders dudes

Sometimes there is actual truth in advertising – as is such when a documentary called Raiders!: The Story of the Greatest Fan Film Ever Made documents the past, present and future of Raiders of the Lost Ark: The Adaptation – which is, without a doubt, the greatest fan film ever made.  If you’ve never seen it – you need to.  You really do!  I had the good fortune of seeing the film 5 years ago and it blew my childish mind, and met the (now) adult guys who made their childhood dreams by remaking their favorite film, starting in 1982… and never really finishing it

The filmmakers and stars – Chris StrompolosEric Zala, Jayson Lamb and their friends – did as much as they could on their small allowances, availble resources, and summers off from school – but never completed the airplane scene (you know, with the explosions and shirtless Nazi brute getting his head chopped off).  Time passed, relationships fizzled, the boys became men, married – with children, but the itch was still there – to finish the Adaptation once and for all, and so the boys did a Kickstarter – raised funds, completed the airplane scene – and finished the film.  BOOOM!  Sounds like a walk in the park, right?  Well, to get from the start to this finish was not only a labor of love, it was a laborious love with MANY a skipped and stop heartbeats

All of this, AND MORE, is covered in the fun fun fun documentary (that I actually saw 5 years to the very day that I saw the Adaptation!!!!!!), based on Alan Eisenstock’s book of the same name, and all of this AND that continues to blow my childish mind.  What these kids did, and what these adults have done continue to endlessly inspire me and inspire endless awe in my eyes, mind, heart and soul, endlessly – WITHOUT END!!!!!  They lived out their childhood dreams, while children!!!  Something most of us have never done.  BLESS THESE BOYS (men)!!!

The original film they made sometimes plays in theaters, but is now finally available on DVD and digital download [disclosure – I actually helped to put the disc together for them in my day job], and if you buy it, you help to support these guys who deserve your support (because I said so!).  Maybe they’ll take the money and remake Zardoz.  MAYBE!!!

VerdictgoBreast In Show

Raiders! is found ark art currently in limited release, and the fellas are touring with the doc, so see them in your city!

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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