Joseph-Willis-Bruce-Levitt-Gordon THE MOVIE
Looper
Top Self
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 118 min
What the frush is a Looper? Oh, you mean a guy from the 2040s who kills dudes sent from the even futurerer future for the sole purpose of getting killed in the past? Got that?  Well, Joseph Gordon-Levitt is a looper, and he has big dreams, like retiring and going to France and eating franch fries and franch bread.  But the thing about being a looper is that you eventually have to kill yourself.  Not yourself self, but your future self, in the past.  Killing someone else is one thing, but killing an older future version of yerself in the present is another, especially when he’s so cool and so badass and so Bruce Willis (and NOT so Raven).  And the other thing is when Bruce Willis is future you, he obviously knows the score, and that himself gonna get killed by himself of the past, so he’s gotta be one up on himself, but himself himself of the past is pretty sharp, and NOW WE GOTS OURSELVES A CHESS MATCH BETWEEN THE SAME SELVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Got that?
What I just described is the RAWESOME time travelly thinkingerish first act of Rian Johnson‘s fun fun fun 3rd feature film, which follows his overly nutty, overly quirky Brothers Bloom, and his ultra hip ultra noiry ultra cool Brick.  Of course there’s a second act that follows the first one.  It involves a farm, Emily Blunt, and a kid (Pierce Gagnon) who be sorta kinda like the kid in The Tin Drum, without the drum, the child pornography or a mother who eats fish.  As you may or may not know, farms aren’t as cool or as exciting as Bruce Willis squaring off against Levitt Joseph-Gordon, but the farm bits kinda got its own thing going.  Then in act 3, act 2 and act 1 get their acts together [hahahahahahahaha] and it’s like action jackson meets a good M Night Shamalamadingdong movie meets Looper meets evil Mike Seaver meets Emily Blunt trying to sound like a hick, then giving up on sounding like one, then trying to recapture that hick sound, but not really, and it’s kinda mostly all very much so futurepresentsexy cool
what does any of that mean?  LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER! LOOPER!
Oh yeah, and Jeff Daniels is in it, and he didn’t have to be [please note – we love Jeff Daniels]
Thighed Piper: welcome back to the land of hotness Piper Perabo
dude, you get to see her boobs!
Verdictgo: Jeepers Mos Def Worth A Peepers
Looper goes loop de loop at a theater near jews today
and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…
Show Me That Smile Scowl Again
I finally figured it out – Joseph-Levitt-Gordon isn’t trying to look like young Bruce Willis in Looper, cause he’s hactually trying to look like angry Kirk Cameron, with a side of skinny giant headed John Travolta!!!!!
oh, and while we’re here, I really wish Kirk Cameron was still as cool as he was when he was super cool
OH, AND I WANT THAT T-SHIRT BAD!!!!!!!!
may have to make one and throw it up on our sto
Instagram: The Movie
Moonrise Kingdom
Merit Badger
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 94 min
Moonrise Kingdom might juss be the mos Wes Andersonian Wes Anderson movie there ever was was.  Instead of adults acting like kids, MK has kids (LOTS OF THEM!) acting like kids!  Instead of modern folks wearing vintage threads, using out of date audiovisual equipment and reading crusty old looking books, it’s of the day folk (1965) wearing threads, using audiovisual equipment and reading new looking books that will all eventually become vintage!  It’s got characters with character names that have more character than this restaurant.  Names like Gadge, Lazy Eye, Nickleby, Skotak, Lionel, Roosevelt, Izod, and Redford give the Tenenbaums & Steve Zissou & Raleigh St Clair & et al a run for their precious money.  It even has a ski-capped Bob Balaban as an on-screen narrator.  CAN WE GET ANY MORE ANDERSONIAN THAN THAT!  Oh, and it’s got kids who have absent parent figures.  Oh, and Bill Murray and Jason Schwartzman are in it. Oh, and the film’s color looks like it was filmed with Instagram.  Wait, did Wes Anderson invent Instagram?
So is being the mos Wes Andersonian Wes Anderson movie there ever was was a great, good or bad thing?  To be perfectly honest, we have yet to make up our mind, and have already resigned ourselves to the fact that we probably need to see this flick again before delivering a real final verdict.  Well, if we want to see it again, that’s gotta mean this shiz is f#$king the biz-quick, yo!  Right?  Well, it’s definitely not the biz-quick, but it’s certainly not the limited Darjeeling Limited neither.  Moonrise Kingdom has a lot of heart, which is a wonderful quality for any movie to have (it’s what made MiB3 totally watchable!), but that heart didn’t somehow penetrate our own heart.  We’re not heartless (unless we’re talking Clooney or Apatow), but we juss couldn’t give our complete love and devotion to Moonrise Kingdom.  Maybe we’re still jaded with the Andersonian world, which started with Zissou, and kinda had a reprieve with his Fantastic Mr Fox, but Moonrise puts Anderson right back in Andersonland, and it feels like we’ve sorta been here, done that before
True, Wes (with writing help from Roman Coppola) has never given us a boy scout adventure, but he has taken us to an island before, treated us to amateur theater, and had kids write letters and read them aloud.  Since it’s been there/done that territory, gonna briefly explain the plot in Andersonian terms: A less annoying Max Fischer (Jared Gilman) has found his Rushmore, not in the Khaki Scouts (led by scoutmaster Edward Norton), but in the eyes of a girl that reeks of young Margot Tenenbaum (Kara Hayward).  Things stand in the way like un-understanding parents (Murray, Frances McDormand), but that won’t stop faux Max from carrying out his well laid out plan. (which would make Bottle Rocket‘s Dignan proud) of escaping with his beloved young Margot.  (this flick reminds us of the kids in love movie Melody).  Cuteness and zaniness ensues, and Bruce Willis, Harvey Keitel, and Tilda Swinton pop up, but don’t really stand out.  Then the movie gets Andersonianish and so on and so forth.  Roll credits
moral of the story – like we said, hard to make a final judgement without seeing it a 2nd time, but that has gotta be a somewhat good sign, since we didn’t even want to bother seeing Zissou or Darjeeling a second time.  but why didn’t it hit us on the first time?  have we had enuff of Andersonian stuffs? well, we could never get enuff of his 2nd to none production design, but how many times can we sit thru the same basic movie but with different vintage threads, audiovisual equipment and old crusty books?  dunno, probably like 5 more times, AND THEN THAT’S IT ANDERSON!!!
Quiet Riot: this is where that was
you love movies, so why aren’t you following Quiet On The Sets???
Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers? Â Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badgers?
Moonrise rises today in NY/LA only, and elsewhere elsewhen
and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…