11. Jan, 2018 
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thank you Detective Toschi. if it makes you feel better, no one else ever caught the Zodiac either
02. Mar, 2017 1 Comment
Zodiac turns 10 on this very day – March 2nd Â
Ever since I saw the movie, I have not ever shut up about it.  You should know this.  I am still working on an street team (that no one asked me to be a part of… mainly cause I invented this street team) to try and get Zodiac a retroactive Oscar for Best Picture of the 21st century (juss a reminder – one of the most critically loved movies of this century got ZERO Academy Award nominations)
anywho, I keep tweeting about my love for all things Zodiac, but I never really have elaborated why I love it.  so here ye go – on things about the movie Zodiac that makes me love it endlessly…
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mustard yellows and browns abound
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all the real life people’s names are SO amazing sounding that they actually sound fake – David Toschi, Jack Mulanax, Ken Narlow, Sherwood Morrill, Duffy Jennings, and mos especially Melvin Belli… a lawyer who was once on Star Trek!!
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Donovan’s ‘Hurdy Gurdy Man’ is now the most rockinest & creepiest anthem ever
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and Donovan’s daughter Ione Skye was in the movie too!
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Ruffalo’s hair
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it inspired me to read not one, but TWO books!
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when I was in the Napa and San Fran, I made sure to make pit stops at a couple of the murder sites.  WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME THAT I WANT TO VISIT THE SITES OF MURDERS CAUSE I LEARNED ABOUT THEM IN A MOVIE!??!
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the more Jake Gyllenhaal &Â John Carroll Lynch movies together, the better. Â They’re both unsettling awesome actors with screen presences for daze! Â Zodiac was their 3rd pairing. Â The others – 2002’s The Good Girl, and 2001’s The Bubble Boy
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the little touches, like Pong!
the blue drinks!
and the squirrels, and dildo in Arthur Leigh Allen’s trailer!
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ever since the movie has been released, far more people have claimed that the Zodiac was their father (including Time Werespanko), and some claim the Zodiac was even a Presidential candidate!
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I love this movie so much that when I saw Jimmi Simpson (who was in the movie for all of like 5 minutes at the end) smoking a cigarette on the street in New York, I went up to him, without remembering his name, and said, ‘I just wanted to let you know that you were AMAZING in Zodiac… and everything else you’ve ever been in!’ Â He said ‘thanks‘Â
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the Zodiac has never been caught, and so the mystery endures, and as the years pass, the movie only gets more awesomer
29. Feb, 2016 0 Comments
the 88th Oscars waz a doozy, and a floozy.  here’s what truly won and lost…
Tracy Morgan IS The Danish Girl (who isn’t)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Z-D2AMKYmo
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Tom Hardy’s wife -Â Charlotte Riley’s chest
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the calm and coolness that is Mark Ruffalo and his wink
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the return of Ali G Â
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YerpSOSt9kw
and how wife Isla Fisher snuck in the costume
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how they let the ‘Sound Editing’ and ‘Sound Mixing’ categories explain themselves with… sound!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tlPX5Zkiw4Q
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Jacob Tremblay has arrived!! (with his parents)
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Academy President Cheryl Boone Isaacs‘ sexy-smart glasses
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Ashley Graham – is BREAST dressed of the night!
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any chance of Clueless being celebrated at future Academy Awards. Â poor Stacey Dash
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Mad Max‘s costume designer and Oscar winner, Jenny Beavan, can’t dress herself, and no one claps for her
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SofÃa Vergara renaming Son of Saul -Â Son of Saauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuul
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white people, Asian people, Hispanic people, Indian people, Native American people. Â they all matter, cause every person matters!
this can all be solved by letting Kumail Nanjiani (and white person Kate McKinnon) host next year!
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Zodiac - it was also about journalism too (better than Spotlight), and it’s the best movie of the 21st century, and it still has zero Oscar wins or even nominations
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Mark Rylance‘s hair AND his dumb hat
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all the people who died and got zero love for dying – Abe Vigoda / Dick Van Patten / Anne Meara / Patrick Macnee / Jason Voorhees’ mom / Stand By Me‘s Milo Pressman / Ron Moody (was nominated for an Oscar for fcuks sake) / the guy who played Leaterface / Louis Jourdan / Taylor Negron / Amanda Peterson / Mary Ellen Trainor / Uggie / Mr DeltoidÂ
(see our ‘In Memoriam’ area for love)Â
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better suck next year
01. Dec, 2015 0 Comments
Spotlight
All The Priests’ Children
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
RÂ | 127Â min
Every great newspaper deserves its own great movie.  The Washington Post got All The President’s Men, The San Francisco Chronicle got Zodiac, and (although I haven’t seen it) The New York Times got the doc Page One: Inside The New York Times.  There are a lot of other great great newspaper films, but they are all fictional (or fiction guised as something sorta based in reality, ala Citizen Kane).  It’s actually kinda weird that there aren’t more films about big time stories published by big time newspapers.  Anywho – Spotlight shines a bright light on The Boston Globe – and the lid they blew off the priestly-pedophiled sexual scandals that plagued the highly Catholic Boston area for eons
Thomas McCarthy‘s cinematic journey of this investigative journalism triumph is a triumph itself.  The outcome is obvious (any doubt that the paper wouldn’t win the day by getting the word out), but getting from point A to point B was an absolute thrill – even if it mainly consisted of phone calls, interviews, trips to the library, repeat, repeat, repeat.  The movie never skips a beat, and is pulse-pounding from the get go, to the get stop.  Mark Ruffalo, Michael Keaton, Rachel McAdams, John Slattery, Stanley Tucci, Brian d’Arcy James (and his MUSTache), Liev Schreiber, and Billy Crudup are ALL fantastic.  Raping children is not fantastic, but this movie is ALL fantastic.  It is a muss see for anyone who has eyes, and even for people who don’t
Verdictgo: Breast In Show
Spotlight shines bright currently at a theater near jews
and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…
20. Feb, 2015 0 Comments
we somehow cobbled together the breastest movies of the beastest of the 2014
and now, for the only awards that matter…
aka
(aka – somehow a movie with a naked ScarJo ScarBLOWED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
dishonrable trash mentions that can hump my poo
Mockinglame Part 1 / Monuments Men / Chef
it goes without saying, but…
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who had 8 flix released in 2014!!
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aka Bestest Scariest Eyes
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‘Big Eyes’ from the movie of the same name
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(more like MINUS)
the song that makes me wish I didn’t have ears
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(in endless memory of Robert ‘Tractor’ Traylor)
 
Â
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&Â
don’t forget to peep out our ’13, ’12, ’11, ’10, ’09, ’08, ’07, ’06, ’05, ’04, ’03, and ’02 awards!!Â
if you got this far, pat yourself on the back, then yer balls
until next thyme the balcony is clothed…
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mo quick hitz! The Lighthouse Bless you Robert Eggers. You know how to strike a mood, and give us the heebie jeebies. In making a movie about two Lighthouse keepers not keeping sane, you drove us insane, and made quite the pretty picture in the process. It felt like watching a full-length, b&w version […]
caught up on a lot of movies. no time to devote full diatribes – so quick hitz! Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Skywalker works because it wasn’t The Last Jedi. You really screwed the pooch Rian Johnson. Can’t blame J.J. for trying to right/write the ship when he was handed a mess and […]
Uncut Gems Sterling, Sharp Official Site | Trailers & Mo R | 134 min This isn’t one of those Adam Sandler movies where he gets hit in the balls for laughs. It’s the kind where he gets his balls stomped on. YOU GO SANDLER!!! YOU GO GET YOUR BALLS STOMPED ON!!! Why don’t you go […]
The Irishman Unionfellas Official Site | Trailers & Mo R | 210 min There is MUCH to praise about Marty’s latest grand spicy meatball (unbelievable sets and costumes! DeNiro is best when he is quiet! Pacino is even bester when he’s loud! And dancing with women!!  Tommy The Tit IS the tits!! Lums!!! that’s what […]
Last Christmas Wham! Bam! Mostly No Thank You Ma’am? Official Site | Trailers & Mo PG-13 | 103 min For 18/19ths of this movie (which I brought an infant in a stroller to!!! BEST DAD EVER), I was like, this is worse than a Hallmark Christmas movie!!!! THERE’S NOT EVEN A SINGLE GAZEBO IN THIS […]
Star Wars is stagnant, but there is a new hope, if only they went down a path that looked more like this… Kalinka Fox
Brazilian models pose during the IZOD IndyCar World Championship Sao Paulo Indy 300 race, April 29, 2012
104 years was not nearly enough Olivia de Havilland for this world. we needed 208. miss you tons Olivia de Havilland. miss saying your name knowing that you were still with us. we will always and forever say your name, and in that way, you will always and forever be with us Olivia de Havilland […]
thighs wide is SIXTEEN years shut!!!!! (turned sweet 16 on March 8th!) I just don’t know how to quit me. do you? (note – each picture below is clickable and will take you to its own magical place) Daphne Zucchini Bread Do Believe The Hyphen Steve Carlton Fisk Orange Crushed You’ve Reached the Office of […]
we named the breastest movies of the beastest of the 2019 and now, for the only awards that matter… SEXtenth Anal Thighs Wide Movie Awards aka THE THIGHSMANS!!! _ Greatest Righting of A Wrong In A Movie Franchise EVER in The Rise of Skywalker when they like, hey Rose, want to join us on this […]
Seven 2019 Films That Were More Pitch Perfect Than Jerry Blevins! 1) Midsommar Something wicker man this way comes!!! 2) Ad Astra it space races your heart! 3) Joker apparently never posted a review here, but this will have to do the @jokermovie is easily the best Batman related movie ever made. come for the […]
there is nothing I look forward to more than compiling our annual goodbye to last year’s trends and hello to this year’s puns. The Washington Post is more professional at this sorta thing, but maybe you’re not into the whole brevity thing… OUT IN Adam Gase’s Gaze – Adam Driver, Driver – TikTok – […]
thighs wide is FIFTEEN years shut – TODAY!!!!! (somehow we skipped documenting fourteen, but fourteen is always an odd age) we’ve finally gotten our learner’s permit, and let me permit you to see some of the crap we crapped here over the past year of cheers and fears! (note – each picture below is clickable […]
