Tag Archives: Johnny Depp

And Injustice For All

West of Memphis
North of Incredible
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 147 min

The West Memphis Three (Damien Echols, Jason Baldwin, and Jessie Misskelley) – falsely accused of horrific murder, rushed to judgment, and left to rot in jail/hell, but after much uproar (from Eddie Vedder, Johnny Depp AND MORE!), the three are finally sorta freed, but remained guilty.  Got all that?  Doc makers Joe BerlingerBruce Sinofsky shed light on the Three’s injustice plight of un-fancy over 15 years in their muss see Paradise Lost doc trilogy.  It’s a lot to take in, so Amy Berg & Billy McMillin decided to simplify everything in their Peter Jackson & wife produced doc West of Memphis, catch us up on the Three, while trying to pin-point the finger on the real culprit…  although one reviewer brought up a good point – that the filmmakers are rushing to judgment on their new suspect juss as quickly as the original prosecutors did with the Three.  Regardless, the truth may not be fully out there, but whatever truths are know muss be told, even if they’re already known, cause the real murderer still walks free. Don’t know how many times you can sit thru the pain, suffering and agony, but it’s a little easier to sit thru all of these docs than being a horrifically murdered child or being falsely accused of horrifically murdering children and going to jail for no reason.  Sh!t is fcuked up, that much is 100% known

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

West of Memphis opens in NY/LA today & elsewhere elsewhen and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…


Ukraine In The Membrane

Chernobyl Diaries
Where It’s Kinda (Pripy)at
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 86 min

We siht you not, but touring Chernobyl is something we’ve semi-dreamed of doing.  Sounds stoopid, but people do it, and now it’s the premise for a movie, and of course we had to see this movie, cause it’s like a semi-dream come true!  Chernobyl is a nuclear power plant, and Pripyat is the adjacent city where the workers and their families lived.  When disaster stuck, the people left Pripyat and never returned.  It’s a ghost town permanently stuck in 80s USSRness.  How would anyone NOT want to go and visit that?!?!?  And how could this not make for a killer movie??!?!

The first half of Chernobyl Diaries, when our protagonists travel to and walk around Pripyat (obviously they didn’t actually film there, but they did a great job of make a faux version of the city!!!), is eggzactly what we were looking for in a Chernobyl movie – eeriness, mysteriousness, creepiness, and bordering on outright scarinessness.  Then when siht goes wrong, and when the movie turns into a pseudo-horror fest, the movie goes wrong.  Not exactly wrong in terribleness, but juss wrong to the just right that came before it.  The scarinessness they jam in our faces isn’t all that scary.  That’s part of the problem, cause empty Chernobyl/Pripyat itselfves is enuff scary that a movie about Chernobyl/Pripyat  doesn’t require additional lame scares that aren’t scary

moral of the story – Chernobyl Diaries is a basic dumb horror movie with a killer premise with much promise.  the promise is partly there, and the rest is a basic dumb horror movie.  One lil thing that was hugely lacking was a bit more backstory of the disaster.  Doubt the kind of people seeing this kind of movie are overly familiar with that kinda history.  The backstory IS the story, not some tourist kids being stuck in a place where no one wants to be stuck


Dark Shadows
Not Awful!
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 113 min

Since Ed WoodTim Burton has made one really really good Tim Burton movie (Sleepy Hollow) and one really really really good non-Tim Burton movie (Big Fish).  The rest have been a waste of his talent and our time.  The remakes have been especially poor, so one doesn’t expect much of a TV remake, right?  Semi-wrong.  His Dark Shadows might not exactly be a return to form, but it’s more of a return to Burton norm, and even with a not so hot third act, this is still a good sign, and a decent movie to boot.  Johnny Depp & co sizzle with the material, and it’s a lot of fun, until the material sizzles out, and then it’s not as fun

btw, not a huge fan of blue eyes, but we want to make love to Bella Heathcote‘s baby blues.  btw, Dark Shadows neeeded like 8812838266363636% more Bella Heathcote and her eyes!!!!!!!!!

Verdictgo: despite weak endings, the beginnings warrant low low low end Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Chernobyl and Shadows shed light to the darkness at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…


The Soft Hit Parade

When You’re Strange
They Wanted The World And They Got It Then
Official Website | Trailers & Mo

The story of Jim Morrison,  Ray ManzarekRobby Krieger and  John Densmore has been told before, dazed and confusedly by Oliver Stone (so hard to shake the image of Val Kilmer as Morrison out of our heads) and in the mos eggsalad Morrison bio No One Here Gets Out Alivebut while writer/director Tom DiCillo‘s passion poem on The Doors, When You’re Strange, skimps on the details of the group’s history, it does one thing exceeding better than all that came before: it leaves the music on until it’s time to turn off the lights

Funny how DiCillo’s best work to date is not one of his quirky lil low-budget comedies, but his very first stab at making a documentary.  And what an easy subject he picked to succeed with, which begs the question, why hasn’t one been made on The Doors before?  Notice we didn’t say ‘definitive’ anywhere in that last sentence, cause this is most certainly not the one, but it will light your fire, or, as in our case, re-ignite it, since our deep infatuation with Mr Mojo Risin & friends sailed off on a ship of fools ages ago.  And there’s a bonus to it all:  it’s narrated by Johnny Depp (naturally, after he did such good work for the Gonzo: The Life and Work of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson doc).  Another funny DiCillo thang is that this may be the only opportunity he’ll ever get to work with the 21 Jump Streeter

The Hitch High-ker: there is some incredible footage of Morrison aimlessly walking and driving in the desert used to frame the entire doc.  Turns out it was culled from an unfinished(?) Morrison film called  HWY: An American Pastoral [watch it all, in really shoddy quality].  here’s a lil backstory on it and DiCillo’s use of it, and while we’re throwing video and links around, here’s a college recruiting video starring a pre-Doors Morrison + the story of the rediscovery of it

Verdictgo: we might want to see this twice so we can LOVE IT TWO TIMES!!! Breast In Show

Strange doesn’t trip in limited release today, and elsewhere elsewhen

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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