Tag Archives: Liam Neeson

Liam Neeson Kills People: The Movie Part 38312727318993241495190437105718579475987847185749875747534195794375

Taken 2
Raging Istanbul Shiz
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 92 min

Things are so tuff for Liam Neeson!!!  He and his family keep taking nice little European trips and keep getting kidnapped by Serbians!!!!!  But that won’t stop them from having a good time, or throwing gernades, or drawing circles on maps, or killing Serbians, or teaching his daughter how to drive!!!!  YESSS!!!

OK, Taken 2 is no masterpiece, but it aint no master piece of sh!t neither, but it’s not good, but it wasn’t eggzactly as awful as that movie where he boringly fought wolves OR the movie where he boringly had amnesia, so this is pretty much the best Liam Neeson movie since Chloe, which really isn’t saying much, but Luc Besson written movies haven’t been saying much ever since he gave up being creative after The Fifth Element.  LUC BESSON, STOP WRITING THE SAME MOVIE OVER AND OVER WHERE PEOPLE DRIVE CARS AND SHOOT GUNS (which isn’t eggzactly the worsttt, it’s juss the same thing, again and again)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  AND IF YOU CAN’T STOP, JUSS MAKE A FCUKING PROFESSIONAL SEQUEL ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh, and DB Sweeney is in this movie for 8 seconds!!!!!

Verdictgo: it’s not awful, and we kinda actually enjoyed its stupidity, so low end Jeepers Worth A Peepers garbage

Taken 2 is so close to leaving theaters that you can juss wait for video or don’t even bother

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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A Wolf in Sheep’s Boring

The Grey
Crash Grab
Official WebsiteTrailers & Mo
R | 117 min

From the looks of the image above, Joe Carnahan‘s The Grey looks like a Liam Neeson kicks mad a$$ with broken gla$$ flick from frame one til frame done, but guess what?  THIS ONLY HAPPENS IN ONE OF THE VERY LAST FRAMES OF THE MOVIE AND THEN IT CUTS TO THE CREDITS BEFORE ANY ACTUAL KICK A$$ WITH GLA$$ HALF-FULL OF AWESOMNESS STUFF HAPPENS!!!!  So what leads up to this end shot?  Um, these ragtag dudes (Liam + Dallas RobertsDermot MulroneyFrank Grillo, etc) work in Alaska or something and are going home or something, but then their plane crashes or something, and the people who survive the crash try their very best to stay alive, and by doing so, they tell really boring stories and show pictures of their loved ones, but we’re sure their families don’t give one sh%t about them cause we don’t care about these people and we only had to spend a little under two hours with them.  And what about them GREY wolves?  Oh yeah, they’re all about wanting to eat these survivors and come in and out of the movie like every 15 minutes so we don’t fall asleep.  Guess what, not even the wolves eating the survivors can prevent the snoozes

moral of the story – forget you even saw that image above and instead juss rent a real life survival story, like the brilliant docurama – Stranded: I Have Come From A Plane That Crashed On The Mountains, aka the bestest movie we saw in 2008 

Making Progress: before he hunted down wolves and eastern Europeans, Neeson made his acting debut in 1979’s Pilgrim’s Progress

Verdictgo: has no real reason for being, herspecially anything but boring, so Slit Your Eyes Out Repoopulous

The Grey is shady at a theater near jews today

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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7thishendith Anal
Thighs Wide
Movie Awards

we already showed you the hottie hotness in movies 2010, and then picked the breastest movies of the beastest of 2010 (with the late addition of Dogtooth!!), and now it’s time for everything else movies 2010!!! welcome to the…

7thishendith Anal
Thighs Wide
Movie Awards

now called

THE THIGHSMANS!!!


The Death to Smoochy
Worstest Pictures
of the Year


Trash Humpers

Valentine’s Day

Enter The Void*

Get Him To The Greek

& Clash of The Titans in ‘3-D’

*also happens to be one of the year’s bestest too!

_

The Gus van Sant
Most Pretentious
Most Overhyped
Most Boring Movie of The Year
That Has Only One Line of Dialog
Repeated 9272767 Times
You Seen My Daddy?


Winter’s Boring

runner down: True Grit

_

The Bare Un-Necessities/
Coulda Been A Contender


Red

Cop Out

Machete

Shutter Island

The Expendables

Scott Pilgrim vs The World

the reunion of Brian Cox and Paul Dano

_

Trailers Worth Tractoring

Catfish, The Social Network, Enter The Void, TRON Legacy

Somewhere, Let Me In, I’m Still Here, Black Swan,

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World & Inception

and the wurst: Exit Through The Gift Shop

_

Poster Her!
Poster We!
Poster Haste!


& the wurstest ones

+ 18 minus boo-nus pts for the Takers one!!!

_

Credits That Deserve Mad Credits


Enter The Void

_

The 1st Annual
Greta Grrr Wig
Recipient of
The OK, This Joke/Career
Muss Be Stopped
Now Award

Greta Gerwig

_

The Samuel L Jackson
Never Met A Script
He Didn’t Like
Guy of The Year

Liam Neeson with 7 movies released in 2o10!!

_

Thighopening Call To Action!

thanks to Art of The Steal for forcing us to visit the Barnes Foundation at its real home in Merion, PA before it moves and that experience will never exist again and we’ll be even more super mad pissed than we are now!!

next up is getting laid in
the Blue Valentine future space sex room

_

Bestest Wurstest Lines of The Year

&

_

The KFC
Finger Stickin’ Goodness
Goodie Three Shoes Award


Portman & her fingers in Black Swan

+ these other hotnessies

Shannon Twins’ pole dancing in Somewhere

Anne Hathway’s endless nudity in Sex & Other Drugs [NSFW]

Rachel McAdams’s morning glorious legs & tush

& Mary Elizabeth Winstead’s many colored wigs in Scott Pilg

_

Movie Things That Aren’t Movies
That Moved Us For The 1st Time

Mr Plinkett’s Star Wars Prequels Ass-Riping
But Well Thought Out Reviews!!

+ his love of pizza rolls
which he wants to mail to us!!

lime juice on theater popcorn!!!
(had at the Film Forum)

visiting the cinema treasure that is The Loews Jersey
(what took we so long??????)

& Ebert’s twitterings

_

Bestest Flix We Netted Or Saw In A Theater
Cause Seeing Old Movies In A Theater
Is Better Than Seeing New Movies
In A Theater!!!

_

Always Bet On These Lil
Shirley Temple Black
(& White) Children

Dylan Riley Snyder

Izzy Meikle-Small

Kelly O’Neill

Emma Hinz

Eros Vlahos

Faith Wladyka

the babies of Babies

_

Face Timeless



Zhao Benshan in Woman, A Gun and A Noodle Shop

_

Saddest Sadness
& The Infinite Sadness

we knew The White Stripes’ days were numbered
as soon as we saw this

_

Songs That Execute Butter
Than Norman Mailer’s Bong

Daft Punk’s TRON Legacy score

Beck’s ‘Ramona’ from Scott Pilgs

The Langley Schools Music Project’s
‘Good Vibrations’ from Catfish

Scala & Kolacny Brothers’ cover
of ‘Creep’ from TSN teaser

any Phil Spector produced song in The Agony & Ecstasy

Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross ‘In Motion’
from The Social Network

Clint Mansell’s ‘Perfection’ from Black Swan

Mike Zorin’s score to the Inception teaser trailer

anything on the Blue Valentine sdtrk

Nick Urata’s ‘Faking Death’ from Phil Morris [empee3]

Devendra Banhart & Beck’ ‘Life During Wartime’

& LFO’s ‘Freak’ from Enter The Void

_

Unintentional Porn
To Be Wild Titles

44 Inch Chest

The Black Waters of Echo’s Pond

Faster

For Colored Girls

Furry Vengeance

Get Low

Harry Brown

How to Train Your Dragon

The Killer Inside Me

Make-Out with Violence

Rabbit Hole

The Spy Next Door

Trash Humpers

Touching Home

Unstoppable

You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger

_

Fenella Woolgar
Bestest Names Award


Hendrik von Bültzingslöwen

Wotan Wilke Möhring

Ophelia Lovibond

Sterling Cooper

BooBoo Stewart

Bingo O’Malley

Pleasant Wayne

Dossy Peabody

& Eros Vlahos

_

Miscecallous Things That Either Stepped Up or Stepped Down More Than Step-Up 3D

a VHS tape, duct tape, a hand and
a whole lotta anger in Dogtooth

the way Leo DiCap says ‘Maaaaaaaaaaaaarssshal’
in Stutter Island

the glowing cockscapades at the sex hotel
@ the end of Enter The Void

the mousterpiece dioramas in Din for Schmucks
by the The Chiodo Brothers

finally figuring out what the dealio was with 
Pruitt Taylor Vince‘s eyes was was:
pathologic nystagmus

also, finally looking into what Fletch’s ‘Pup’ n’ Taco was!

Abraham Aronofsky’s resume

photo of the real Get Low guy attending his own funeral
which is 81889283838 times more interesting
than the actual movie

this college recruiting video starring a pre-Doors Morrison

The Fighter sisters > any other sisters

James Frain being a 7th rate Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg???

where they filmed Harry Brown

the only good kind of Plague

when Joan Rivers met Gwar

our collection of the moist flamous kisses EVER

& notmileycyrus.com

_

Movies To Look
For In The ‘011


127 Ray Browers

Goy Story 3:16

Liam Neeson Ices Eastern Europeans

X-Men XII: Boyz II X-Men

Ranch Farts: A Nose Opening Documentary

Stephen King’s The Queen

Madoff Never Sleeps

10 Fast, 10 Furious
_

don’t forget to peep out our
’09’08, ’07, ’06, ’05, ’04, ’03, and ’02 awards!!

until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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