you know the drill – 2014 was so 1014, and 2015 is so gonna be as awesome as 2112 will be.  Anywho, The Washington Post does a list thing, and so do we, cause the lord commands it…

OUT	IN
The Ice Bucket Challenge –	The Lice Bucket Challenge –
Meghan Trainor –	Tranny Meagan –
LARP –	Flarp –
ISIS –	The The –
Three Breasts –	Six Breasts –
Redskins –	Breadskins –
Mensch on a Bench –	Rat On A Cat –
Warby Parker –	Furby Frames –
Keith David –	David Keith –
Pharrell’s Hat –	Farrell’s Hats –
Serial Podcast –	Cereal Podcast –
Bitcoins –	Buttcoins –
Trivago –	Jillwaukee –
  Ferguson Unrest –	  Ferguson Well Dressed –
World Cup Fever –	Cup Noodles Indigestion –
Craft Beers –	Daft Fears –
Uber –	Goober –
Missing Planes –	Dissing Plane Geometry –
Kale Caesar –	Randall ‘Tex’ Cobb Salad –
Seth Rogen –	Count Rugen –
Venmo –	‘Fcuk You, Pay Me‘ –
The Fault in Our Stars –	The Fault in Our Czars –
Conchita Wurst –	Ahmed Best –
Flatizzas –	Flat Tits, Ahhhh –
Break The Internet –	Rumors On The Internets –
Bill Cosby –	Cill Bosby –
Children’s Books Written by Celebrities –	 Celebrities Written by Children’s Books –

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and here’s what was In Oder Aus in the ’006, the ’007, the ’008, the ’009, the ‘010, the ‘011, the ‘012, the ‘013, the ‘014

being married kept me away from the movie theatre/theater, and more at home, glued to the good ole boob tube, and that was way OK, cause TV was pretty fraking good in 2014…

1. Married at First Sight (FYI)

A reality show that made us believe in love AND reality TV again, and it all felt so real.  Sometimes happily ever after is possible, even if it’s manufactred

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2. Ray Donovan (Shotwime)

I am SO gay for Gay Donovan and all of its characters, but mostly gay for Jon Voight as Mickey Donovan – perhaps TV’s greatest supporting character of this century!  Every episode plays like a season finale - packed with more wallop than one could ever wall-down.  WALLOP!!!

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3. American Horror Story: Freak Show (FX)

Scariest sh!t television has ever seen (MAYBE!).  From Twisty the clown (and his super sad backstory) to Finn Wittrock KILLING IT as Dandy Mott to a 3-breasted woman – there’s something for everyone… to make them sh!t their pants!!

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4. Fargo (FX)

Not even Tom Hanks’ lame son could ruin the TV show that did the Bates Motel/Hannibal impossible of 2014 – take a sacred movie and turn it into a brilliant TV show!!!   BILLY BOB THORTON’S HAIR FOR THE WIN!!!

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5. Gotham (Fox)

Batman goes Muppet Babies – and it too somehow works, even if doesn’t make comic book sense.  It’s all about Gordon, but Penguin and Catowman junior rule the city/the show + younger Alfred kicks BUT(ler)!!!

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6. Boardwalk Empire (HBO)

Boardwalk was usually BOREDwalky, and never lived up to its potential, but finally did in its final season.  Maybe cause they found the perfect teeny Steve Buscemi in Marc Pickering

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7. Drunk History (Comedy Central)

My favorite show of 2013 still packed a punch in its second season, for both the brain AND the funny bone.  A rare double-threat that should threaten all other shows that aren’t informative AND funny!!

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8. True Detective (HBO)

that tracking shot!!!

and those boobs!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [NSFW]

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9. Tyrant (FX)

Nobody is having more (screen) fun than Ashraf Barhom is as Tyrant Jamal, and no one had more fun watching him do that thing than me.  It’s TV’s most underloved awesome show!

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10. Silicon Valley (HBO)

Was there any doubt that a Mike Judge TV show wouldn’t be cool-whip-smart?  And that cast!!!!!  OMG OMG OMG, that CAST!!!!

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11. 10 Things You Don’t Know About (H2)

Sober history, with perhaps the best sober host ever – Henry Rollins!!

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12. Hannibal (NBC)

(spoiler alert) Mason Verger will eat himself!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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other solid forms of entertainments: 

Veep – FOUR MORE YEARS!!!!

Homeland – it got back to where it once belonged – deep in our hearts

The Knick – would probably be my #1 show, but I only got to see 3 eps cause who subscribes to Cinemax???

My Grandmother’s Ravioli – Mo grannys, mo awesome!!

Ali G Rezurection – for completists, and people who like to laugh

Bates Motel – a lot of padding, but mother and son know/are best

The Americans  – dude, Keri’s butt!!!

Mad Men – too much Megan, not enuff Bert, but plenty of BURGER CHEF!!!

Modern Family – TV’s consistently funniest show that you somehow don’t find funny

House of Cards – that subway push, that 3some, that other stuff!!

Louie – his screen daughter Jane needs a spinoff show

Get Carter – we got it!

Under The Dome – lost a little luster in season 2, but plenty of clusterfudges to keep us glued

Black-ish – the fall’s only new AND funny show worth watching/that wasn’t canceled

Shameless – was nice to be Justin Chatwin-free for a season

Newsroom – good riddance you overly talkie Aaron Sorkin talkie.  and I don’t care how ‘good’ she looks, cause Olivia Munn is the world’s würstest actress

Top Chef - Katsuji for president

Undercover Boss - over-ly sweet and souful!

Masters of Sex – too much time dedicated to the too many side characters, and their too not so interesting side stories

Selfie – dumb, fun, and sadly, gone too soon

Pizza Masters – wish these fatties were my cousins

Garfunkel and Oates – for the comedy (and Saved By The Bell refs), but not so much for the music & lyrics

Maron – dropped off a bit in season 2, but he made Ray Romano funny!

Penny Dreadful – finally, monsters and creatures with brains

Halt and Catch Fire – sweet dreams, OK reality

Vice – although I don’t remember any of the pieces off the top of me head

Girls – sucks

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+ bone-yes moments

- Adrien Brody as Houdini and his hot screen wife and his weird-faced assistant were beyond best!

- TWIN PEAKS IS COMING BACK!!!!!!!  and here’s what they should do

- Stephen Colbert, we’ll meet again

– you can’t handle the Chelsea Handler goodbye

– Cam dances off against Will Sasso

– the insaneness of Petals On the Wind

- all the grandmother’s on My Grandmother’s Ravioli, but especially 90 year old Thelma Brelesky

– Jill St John as Molly as Robin in the second ever episode of Batman (1966)

– that time ‘Murder She Wrote’ went Psycho

– ABC promo glamour shots

– so long Californication – you were the fcuking WURST

– Pam Mueller > Ferris Bueller

- Tommy Chong dances

– never 5get Jimmy McBride – Boston Cab Driver – MTV Gabber

– Disaster of Puppets

- Drake’s Bar Mitzvah / Hobbit Office / Me

– Once In A Lifetime, Times Four

– Keith L Williams as DJ Pre-K on Selfie

– the mystery of Debra Messing’s green sweater puppies

+

my favorite TV performance of 2014…

Adam Hagenbuch as Ashton Kutcher in Lifetime’s Brittany Murphy movie!!!

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& peace the mork out :(

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perv-iously ’13 ’12 ’11 ’10 ’09 ’07

The Imitation Game
The Code Less Traveled
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 114 min

Everyone is gay for Benedict Cumberbatch.  So when Benedict Cumberbatch plays a gay guy, does everyone get gayer than all these people???  YESS!!!!

In The Imitation Game, Bennie Cumby plays Alan Turing, the godfather of computers, and the man that broke the Nazi Enigma machine code, and shortened WWII by II years.  WHAT A GUY!!!  But he was gay, and being gay back then was not all that, like being gay is now all that.  He couldn’t wear feather boas in the streets or see Can’t Stop The Music in theaters, and ultimately it cost him his dignity and his life.  WOAH!!!

The movie is his story – becoming gay, going gay for Maths (love how British people call it ‘Maths’), then going gay for cracking codes and saving the world, then juss being gay, and getting in trouble for it.  SO GAY!!!  But all this gayness doesn’t make for a super gay movie – it’s actually a pretty straightforward tale of men (and a woman – Keira Knightley) at war and trying to end it – and it’s good stuff – juss nothing super gay that will make you shoot rainbows out of your butt

BUTT – Charles Dance – cinema’s greatest modern screen a$$hole (a SAG-HOFer) – gets to be a screen a$$hole to a cocky Cumberbatch.  I could watch them go at it ALL DAY (not in a gay way, but yes, also in a gay way).  Sadly, they don’t go at it all day, so I guess I’ll hope for Imitation Game 2 or juss a 2nd pairing between the two (although the two have been in 2 other things together but not sure they shared the screen at the same time)  

I mean, who doesn’t want to see a Benedict-Charles dance off pants off???

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Foxcatcher
In Cold Blood 2
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 134 min

If you are unaware of the story of John du Pont and the brothers Schultz, you’re better off not knowing a thing, to fully enjoy experience the atmospherically jarring movie that is Bennett Miller‘s Foxcatcher

All you need to know is that there’s wraslin’ and a quest for gold, and plenty of uncomfortable silences, and amazing hair and make-up work – that beyond works, coupled with incredible performances by Steve Carell, Channing Tatum and Mark Ruffalo

dude – shiz is so fcuked up, and all so true (mostly)

and Anthony Michael Hall!!

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Foxcatcher catches your attention at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

somehow I got back into (newish) music this year.  I blame the Robyn Pandora station!!!  they made me remember that women singers are the bestest!!   annnnnnnnywho, here’s my year with music…

Spotifly A$$ Al Bumz

EP Ki-Yay, motherfcuker!

Röyksopp & Robyn’s Do It Again

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Dear Lord, What Took Us So Long To Shoot Up?

Lorde’s Pure Heroine

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Lana Del Ray ALL DAY

all her musics

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Tunses For Toonces

‘K-Scope’ – Phil Manzanera | ‘Subdivisions’ – Rush | ‘Love In Every Moment’ – t.A.T.u.  | ‘Do It Again’ – Röyksopp & Robyn |  ‘Wolves’ – Marnie | ‘Computerized’ – Daft Punk and Jay Z | ‘Marilyn Monroe’ – Pharrell | ‘Team’ – Lorde | ‘Closer’ – Tegan and Sara | ‘Habit (Stay High)’ – Tove Lo | ‘Would You Fight For My Love?’ – Jack White | ‘Tomorrow Never Lies’ – Pulp | ‘Stumblin’ In’ - Chris Norman & Suzi Quatro  | ‘You Are My Sunshine’ – Yusuf Islam/Cat Stevens | ‘Mr Tembo’ – Damon Albarn | ‘Come On Down To My Boat’ – Every Mothers Son 

[d-lode all in one handy zip!!!!!]

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They Lives!

Paul Simon & Sting @ Madison Square Garden

Rock & Roll Hall of Fame 29th Induction Ceremony @ Barclays Center

Frankie Valli & ‘The Four Seasons’ @ NYCB Theatre at Westbury

Damon Albarn @ Irving Plaza

Robyn & Röyksopp JBL @ Live at Pier 97

Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers + Steve Winwood @ Madison Square Garden

Lorde United @ Palace Theatre

Lily Allen @ Terminal 5

Robert Plant and The Sensational Space Shifters @ BAM Howard Gilman Opera House

Cat Stevens / Yusuf Islam @ Wang Theatre

Smokey Robinson @ Barclays Center

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Take That! And This!

Check Your Head Checked

stripes!!!!!!!!!

never 5get Jimmy McBride – Boston Cab Driver – MTV Gabber

MEG WHITE LIVES!!!

 –

BADBYE :(

bye bye love

bye bye hammer time

bye bye ear raider

bye bye tree hugger

bye bye Hair poster maker!!!

bye bye Shaggy DJ

bye bye you saxy mutherfucker

bye bye creamy third

&

bye bye friend helper

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and here’s what we stuffed in the past

’13
’12
’11
’10
’09
’08
’07
’06
’05
’04
’03