Tag Archives: Keira Knightley

This Is List – 2015

you know the drill – 2014 was so 1014, and 2015 is so gonna be as awesome as 2112 will be.  Anywho, The Washington Post does a list thing, and so do we, cause the lord commands it…

 

OUT

IN

ice bucket
The Ice
Bucket Challenge

lice bucket
The Lice
Bucket Challenge

Meghan Trainor
Tranny Meagan
LARP
Flarp
ISIS
The The
3 breasts
Three Breasts
six breasts
Six Breasts
Redskins
Breadskins
Mensch on a Bench
Rat On A Cat
Warby Parker
Furby Frames

Keith David

David Keith
Pharrell’s Hat
Farrell’s Hats
Serial Podcast
Cereal Podcast
Bitcoins
Buttcoins
Trivago
Jillwaukee
 furgeson
Ferguson Unrest
 furgeson clarissa
Ferguson Well Dressed
World Cup Fever
Cup Noodles Indigestion
Craft Beers
Daft Fears
Uber
Goober
Missing Planes
Dissing Plane Geometry
kale
Kale Caesar
Randall Tex Cobb Salad
Randall ‘Tex’ Cobb Salad
Seth Rogen
Count Rugen
Venmo
Fcuk You, Pay Me
The Fault in Our Stars
The Fault in Our Czars
Conchita Wurst
Ahmed Best
flatizza
Flatizzas
flat chested
Flat Tits, Ahhhh
Break
The Internet

Rumors On
The Internets

Bill Cosby
Cill Bosby
Children’s Books
Written by Celebrities
 Celebrities Written
by Children’s Books

and here’s what was In Oder Aus in the ’006, the ’007, the ’008, the ’009, the ‘010, the ‘011, the ‘012, the ‘013, the ‘014

4 Comments

Charles Dance Off Pants Off

The Imitation Game
The Code Less Traveled
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 114 min

imitation game

Everyone is gay for Benedict Cumberbatch.  So when Benedict Cumberbatch plays a gay guy, does everyone get gayer than all these people???  YESS!!!!

In The Imitation Game, Bennie Cumby plays Alan Turing, the godfather of computers, and the man that broke the Nazi Enigma machine code, and shortened WWII by II years.  WHAT A GUY!!!  But he was gay, and being gay back then was not all that, like being gay is now all that.  He couldn’t wear feather boas in the streets or see Can’t Stop The Music in theaters, and ultimately it cost him his dignity and his life.  WOAH!!!

The movie is his story – becoming gay, going gay for Maths (love how British people call it ‘Maths’), then going gay for cracking codes and saving the world, then juss being gay, and getting in trouble for it.  SO GAY!!!  But all this gayness doesn’t make for a super gay movie – it’s actually a pretty straightforward tale of men (and a woman – Keira Knightley) at war and trying to end it – and it’s good stuff – juss nothing super gay that will make you shoot rainbows out of your butt

BUTT – Charles Dance – cinema’s greatest modern screen a$$hole (a SAG-HOFer) – gets to be a screen a$$hole to a cocky Cumberbatch.  I could watch them go at it ALL DAY (not in a gay way, but yes, also in a gay way).  Sadly, they don’t go at it all day, so I guess I’ll hope for Imitation Game 2 or juss a 2nd pairing between the two (although the two have been in 2 other things together but not sure they shared the screen at the same time)  

I mean, who doesn’t want to see a Benedict-Charles dance off pants off???

cumerbatch dance

charles dance lets dance

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

0 Comments

Quickies 4 Ketchupping

Snow White and The Huntsman
Babes In Woodland
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 127 min

THIS MOVIE IS NOT ABOUT JON HUNTSMAN’S HOT DAUGHTER OR HIS DAD WHO INVENTED THE MCDONALDS CLAMSHELL!!!  That’s already 28282839329393939 strikes against it.  Having Kristen Stewart play Snow White is like having 28283813292323932932 more strikes, and yet, yet, yet, somehow this Snow White movie was like a poor middle class man’s version of The Princess Bride!!!  Sorta.  And Chris Hemsworth‘s beefy beefness beefs up the fun, but not as much as Charlize Theron milking a milky milk bath or her brother Sam Spruell bobbing a man bob or the fact that they somehow shrunk many awesome normal sized actors (Ian McShane, Bob Hoskins, Ray Winstone, Nick Frost, Eddie Marsan, Toby Jones, Johnny Harris, Brian Gleeson) be like tiny sized actors!  Bet Peter Dinklage and Warwick Davis was pissed!  Snow White?  More like Snow RIGHT!

 

Seeking A Friend for The End of the World
Apocalypse Tao
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 101 min

Do you like Steve Carell?  Do you like Keira Knightley?  If the answer is yes to both, say yes to this fun little diversion that’s like The 40-Year Old Virgin meets Pride & Prejudice.  Not really, but if you sat thru both of those movies, you can sit thru this one, and you may smile, while the world falls apart, in an amusing way that’s like Atonement meets Dinner for Schmucks.  Not really

 

Your Sister’s Sister
Oh Brother, Where Art House Thou?
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 90 min

Lynn Shelton‘s Your Sister’s Sister is about two sisters, Emily Blunt and Rosemarie DeWitt, who go to a cabin in the woods and take turns banging one non-related fellow, Mark Duplass.  Sorta, not really.  It starts off dark and heavy, but somehow that’s all forgotten in about 8 minutes, and for the better, cause the gloom gives way to fun and lots of words, so if you want explosions and car chases, this isn’t you movie.  But then the movie tries to do stuff towards the end, and it’s more implausible than me becoming a vegetarian Cowboys fan who licks swastikas for breakfast.  Sorta

 

Verdictgo: ALL THREE be Jeepers Worth A Peepers

ALL THREE might be playing at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

0 Comments

Analyze Thus!

A Dangerous Method
Girl Just Wanna Have Jung
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 99 min

A teacher and a pupil and the pupil’s own pupil get into a psychological triangle of thoughts, dreams and masochistic desires in David Cronenberg‘s A Dangeous Method. It’s true, and it’s all true, cause the people we’re talking about are real people!!!  Like the cigar chomping daddy of modern psychology Sigmund Freud (Viggo Mortensen), his reluctant and doubting heir apparent Carl Jung (Michael Fassbender), and Sabina Spielrein (Keira Knightley), a fidgety young Russian girl who takes great pleasure in pain, and has a few of her own thoughts on analyzing this AND that!!!

We see relationships forged, broken, mended and bended all over again, before this trio goes their own ways into the annals of psychoanalytic history. But whose story is this? Freud is on the fringes, observing afar from Vienna, while Jung and the Ruskie take center stage experimenting with some… dangerous methods – read, HOT KINKY HOTNESS!!!!  THEY SHOULDN’T, BUT THEY SHOULD!!!!  Or should they???? What does Freud think of all this???

Mustached Fassbender as Jung owns the proceedings (of course he does, this is Fassbender we’re talking about!!!), but Keira Knightley comes pretty close to upstaging Mr Mos Fantastic Actor of the Moment. At first, her accent seems to flicker in and out of believability, but as the minutes pass, not only does Knightley’s character blossom before our eyes, but she herself, from the run of the mill Jane Austen broad we’ve become bored of, to an actual actress with great range, filled with sirpizes!  Yes, we’re talking about the same KK that is in such boring stuffy British movies like, Crumpets: The Movie. Same also goes with Cronenberg, who sirprizes us by showing he’s capable of making an adult movie that doesn’t succumb to weirdness for weirdness sake, or has William Hurt in it for no reason

moral of the story: a movie about thinking people thinking about other peoples thoughts doesn’t exactly scream ‘see me’, and we cannot necessarily say that A Dangerous Method is something worth screaming about, but it is worth a thought, and a lot of thought was put into it, so think about that.  Remember, it’s a non-weird Cronenberg movie, and William Hurt isn’t in it for no reason, so if that’s what yer thinking, THINK AGAIN!!!  BUT you get to peep at Knightley’s nips AND see Vincent Cassel play yet another oversexed pig, and that’s good enuff for we to think you should see it, maybe.  thoughts?

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

A Dangerous Method wants you to hear its thoughts in NY & LA today, and elsewhere elsewhen

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

0 Comments
eXTReMe Tracker