Peace The Forks Out
bless/thank you Mike!
Still can’t make teads or hails of what Spencer Susser‘s Hesher was all about. We know it contains fantastic performances, and a really cool beat-up van, but the movie didn’t seem to know what to do with them. There’s a grieving father (Rainn Wilson) and his bullied son (Devin Brochu), who are ‘helped’ in the easing of their pain by a metalhead maniac stranger (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) that appears out of nowhere and for no real reason, other than to drop some antic antics, which are the stuff quirky indie flicks are made of. You know, stuff like blowing up cars, trashing backyards, forcing grannys (Piper Laurie) to take bong hits, and talk dirty about vaginas, in front of clean nerdy women (an out of place Natalie Portman, with wretched 80s glasses), all done nonchalantly and with zero remorse. NOW THAT’S SOME MIGHTY STRANGE, BUT WELL NEEDED THERAPY FOR A FAMILY WHO JUST LOST THEIR MOTHER/WIFE!! Not really
Well, that pretty much sums up the plot of the plodding Hesher. And while the whole affair is rather scattershotty, there’s still something about it that kept it kinda chugging along, and that it is JGord-Levi. This depressed family may have indirectly needed JGC, but this movie directly didn’t need that family. Hesher should have been let loose on multiple families and passersby. You don’t cage an animal, you let it run free, and you know, let that animal blow up sh#t in different neighborhoods and get other grandmothers high
About Face: this guy is the best. he’s like a more awesomer, kookier Michael Richards. and it’s always a treat to see his face pop up in movies
that guy is
watch his work/face!!!!
Verdictgo: Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges
Hesh messes in limited release today
and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…
Kenneth Branagh‘s Thor was some pretty darn decent superhero fun. T’was also unexpectedly mighty funnier than The Mini Page‘s Mighty Funny Mini Jokes (…who doesn’t love fish outta water situations)!!! And even though 1/2 of the flick takes place in a CGI eyesore in the sky (glad we didn’t see it in 3-D), everything we liked about Thor took place there (no thanks on the earthbound Natalie Portman, Stellan Skarsgård and Kat Dennings pointlessnessness). It’s also the paramount reason why this one feels different from all the other recent caped crusader pics – it has real mythology behind it, not juss mortal madness. And when yer playing with Gods (and monsters), you get to unleash the hammiest ham acting this side of an an Orson Welles’ performance. Anthony Hopkins (as papa Odin), Chris Hemsworth (our titular please do hurt them hammerer) and Tom Hiddleston (the mischievous Loki) all overdo it, but in a good good good way. The Clash of The Titans aimed for the same ham heights, but the ham they produced was more un-Kosher than… ham
Choosy Men Choose Sif: Jaimie Alexander plays Thor’s gal pal Sif, and we’re choosy, but we choose Sif!!!
Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers
Thor is currently hammering it home at a theater near jews
and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…
btw, Thor is NOT a homo
we already showed you the hottie hotness in movies 2010, and then picked the breastest movies of the beastest of 2010 (with the late addition of Dogtooth!!), and now it’s time for everything else movies 2010!!! welcome to the…
& Clash of The Titans in ‘3-D’
*also happens to be one of the year’s bestest too!
runner down: True Grit
and the wurst: Exit Through The Gift Shop
+ 18 minus boo-nus pts for the Takers one!!!
Liam Neeson with 7 movies released in 2o10!!
thanks to Art of The Steal for forcing us to visit the Barnes Foundation at its real home in Merion, PA before it moves and that experience will never exist again and we’ll be even more super mad pissed than we are now!!
next up is getting laid in
the Blue Valentine future space sex room
+ these other hotnessies
Mr Plinkett’s Star Wars Prequels Ass-Riping
But Well Thought Out Reviews!!
+ his love of pizza rolls
which he wants to mail to us!!
lime juice on theater popcorn!!!
(had at the Film Forum)
visiting the cinema treasure that is The Loews Jersey
(what took we so long??????)
any Phil Spector produced song in The Agony & Ecstasy
44 Inch Chest
The Black Waters of Echo’s Pond
For Colored Girls
How to Train Your Dragon
The Killer Inside Me
Make-Out with Violence
The Spy Next Door
You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger
a VHS tape, duct tape, a hand and
a whole lotta anger in Dogtooth
the glowing cockscapades at the sex hotel
@ the end of Enter The Void
also, finally looking into what Fletch’s ‘Pup’ n’ Taco was!
photo of the real Get Low guy attending his own funeral
which is 81889283838 times more interesting
than the actual movie
The Fighter sisters > any other sisters
the only good kind of Plague
127 Ray Browers
Goy Story 3:16
Liam Neeson Ices Eastern Europeans
X-Men XII: Boyz II X-Men
Ranch Farts: A Nose Opening Documentary
Stephen King’s The Queen
Madoff Never Sleeps
10 Fast, 10 Furious
until next thyme the balcony is clothed…