Eleven Movies From 2018 That Popped My Eyes More Than Lin-Manuel Miranda’s Did in Mary Poppins Returns

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1) Won’t You Be My Neighbor?

Fred, won’t you be our everything?  You were.  And we need you to be again.  How do we bring you back to life???

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2) Eighth Grade

Our Bodies, Ourselfies.  SAIL AWAY!!!

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3) The Rider

From the heartland, this one goes straight for the heart (and it will tear it apart!)

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4) Green Book

Sappy? Yes.  Feel good?  OH so good!!!  It’s the historical buddy movie you never thought you needed!

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5) Three Identical Strangers

Who knew the Boys From Brazil could actually sorta be a reality?

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6) The Wife

A masterclass in acting.  Honored to be in the classroom

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7) Chappaquiddick

Hope doesn’t always float for our most beloved Massholes

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8) Filmworker

Who wouldn’t want to be Stanley Kubrick’s bitch?  Well, on second thought…

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9) American Animals

Fact and fiction blend into wonderful friction!

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10) The Favourite

Accessible Lanthimos, for those who have been seeking it.  Me, I just want more Lanthimos!

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11) At Eternity’s Gate

If they van Gogh it, I will come

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our annual anal movie awards – The Thighsmans – drops the Friday before the Oscars.  stay pooned and thirsty my friends!

until then, here’s the bestest films of yesterhere

2017
2016
2015
2014
2013
2012
2011
2010
2009
2008
2007
2006
2005
2004
2003
& 2002

Vice

The Long Big
Official Site | Trailers & Mo
R | 132 min

What can I say about Vice?  Bale was amazing as Dick Cheney, but the main reason to see it is to see him in that transforming make-up and hair (or lack thereof), and those glasses.  The rest of the movie?  Bleeding liberal wanking, too much winking, too much trying to be an Oliver Stone movie, but basically being The Big Short of Dick Cheney, but coming up short this time in the presentation department.  And what’s the take away, anyways?  Hard to tell, other then I think the Cheneys are a nice family who have politics and practices that may be different from your own.  So what’s the point?  Don’t ask me, I didn’t make the movie, but sat thru it.  Maybe they should have stopped in the middle, with the faux credits.  That was clever.  But the rest of the movie was too clever for its own good, or it thought it was clever and it wasn’t good.  Again, hard to tell

Verdictgo: Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badgers

Vice clamps down currently in limited release

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

how am I just learning now about Columbia’s collab with Star Wars???

since all these be sold out, instead of funding a wall, can they fund for me to have ALL these jackets?

Mary Poppins Returns
The Old Disney Razzle Dazzle Made New
Official Site | Trailers & Mo
PG | 130 min

Everything’s a winner in Mary Poppins Returns, and purists should have no cause for alarm, and everyone else should have cause to see this, cause it’s pure Disney movie magic, in that old fashioned way we knew and STILL love.  Walt would be proud

First and foremost, Emily Blunt stepped into shoes that be so large that they were simply impossible to fill.  So I guess that means she did the impossible, because she made Mary P her own, with a bit of Julie Andrews’ spoonful of sugar, tossed in with a tad of author PL Travers’ bitter toughness.  Blunt’s Mary is, well, blunt.  She doesn’t take no sh!t, but also makes magic out of anything, even sh!t, but not literally sh!t

And the kids are great.  They’re wide-eyed enuff, and one of the kids has super-wide ears!  And the girl’s real name is Pixie Dust or something!

And the kids in the first movie are now grown up, and the perfect path for moving the story forward, in what is the loosest story they could go forward on (they don’t have money and may lose their house!  can anyone help them!).  And you cannot ask for better actors basically doing pointless acting as worrisome siblings than Ben Whishaw and Emily Mortimer.  I wish they were my dad and mum, or brother and sister, or husband and wife, or anything that would make me able to hug them.  I’d give Ben a mustache ride, and Emily any kind of ride she desires

Oh, and super annoying Lin-Manuel Miranda is super annoying (not sure why a guy who lights lamps has to appear in every scene, AND BE SO FCUKING HAPPY), but his super annoyingness actually works for this show-stopping show that does not stop.  He doesn’t stop!  HE WON’T STOP!!  And his pizzaz in the proceedings is infectious!  You’ll want to light lamps!  And imitate him, like…

Oh, and Colin Firth is a good baddie, and Dick Van Dyke and Angela Lansbury are old as fork, but you watch them twinkle and wish that you’ll be as spry and as with it as they are at age 93.  And even thought his character was kinda whatevs.net, it was nice to see David Warner.  I love David Warner.  You probably do too, but just don’t realize it.  And what about Meryl Streep?  How do you think she was??

And the songs?  I don’t remember any of them, but they were really good!  And when mixed with the 2-D animation, I literally felt like a kid again, on a Disney ride with no line, having the time of my life!

Verdictgo: mos def Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Mary pops at a theater near jews and white nationalists today

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Peace The Forks Out

to

Lucky Penny

Penny, you thought big and got into a league of men and it made it your own.  thank you.  we’ve always dreamed bigger because of you