Tag Archives: Robert De Niro

Quality, Value, Convenience

Mop & Glowing
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 124 min


The Silver Linings Playbook/American Hustle crew is back!  And possibly better than ever!! David O Russell and Jennifer Lawrence and Bradley Cooper bring the JOY and the pain in what has got to be the greatest movie that has something to do with a mop and/or QVCJoy 

Joy is prideful, and joyful, and funny, and mildly melancholy, and 300% fun.  You know the movie is super super dope when it utilizes Robert De Niro talent (in this day and age) and instead of stupefying it.  And you know I aint no J-Law fan, but I love J-Law in this, and thus I love this movie!!

And the story is all true-ish!!!

Joy Mangano is an inventor.  She invented the Miracle Mop

At one point in time, there was no Miracle Mop, and Ms Mangano needed a miracle to support her children, and her ex-husband, and her wacky mother, and her twice-divorced father.  The mop changed everything and this movie is about getting that mop to market and the struggles to get there.  A total underdog story, that you’ll be rooting for from the get go.  Go Joy! Go Joy! Go!!!!!!!!  

Wait, they made a whole movie about a woman who invented a mop?  Well, it’s more than juss that.  It’s about ideas, and family, and things and stuff.  And what a family!!  You couldn’t ask for a more fun and willing bunch of family folks helping her along – Isabella RosselliniÉdgar RamírezElisabeth RöhmDiane LaddVirginia Madsen and the Gadsby twins.  Loved them all.  Makes me wish I was a member of her family so I could hug these people!!!

And the QVC stuff was super cool.  You get to see what it looked like at the beginningish, and things, and stuff, and I think it’s juss so super super super cool and honorable that Melissa Rivers played her mom Joan Rivers, and how eerily alike they look

melissa as joan rivers

Did we mention that this movie was 300% fun?  You like fun, right?

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Joy to the world – everywhere on Xmas day

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

1 Comment

Into Charm’s Way

The Intern
It’s Not Complicated
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 121 min

the intern

I am not a fan of romantic comedies, but I’m a sucker for sappy movies.  Luckily Nancy Meyers‘ The Intern has little romance, and tons of sap, like a tree filled with tons of sap!!!  YEP, MAD SAP, YO!!!!  And the whole thing is filled to the brim with endless charm, and smiles, and Robert De Niro being subtle, but sensational, and Anne Hathaway being her energetic self, and with her usual awesome sweater puppies

anne hathway sweater puppies

What I really loved most about this movie, and love most about Nancy Meyers movies in general, is that there is little to no drama, and a lot to a lot lot lot lot lot goody–goody-goodness.  The Intern wasn’t really a movie, as it was more like a feeling – a good one you juss didn’t want to end.  I was on the verge of tears a few times, and I had zero idea why.  None of it was that emotional.  Maybe I just REALLLLLLLLY wanted De Niro and Hathaway to succeed together.  The likelihood of that not happening was minus 2389123939239239, but still, I was REALLLY rooting for them to make it work, at work!  

I also realllllllllly liked the schulubby chubby combo of Adam DeVine and Zack Pearlman.  They like brothers from another smothers.  I want to smother them with my hugs

devine zach

Verdictgo: can’t wait to watch this on cable TV for eons to come – Breast In Show

The Intern is ready to report at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

1 Comment

Inaction DeSean Jackson

Silver Linings Playbook
Bipolar Opposites Attract
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 122 min

David O Russell‘s Silver Linings Playbook is a great great great American film.  It’s like American Beauty but less pretentious and more American.  It’s like David O’s own The Fighter, but more fun and funnier.  Not even Jennifer Lawrence‘s dour sourpuss stizz can halt its amazingness.  She, for the first time in our eyes, hands in an actual performance that isn’t a total snoozefest, and its incredible!  IT’S TRUE!!!!  Chris Tucker isn’t even the most annoying thing in the film.  What is?  NOTHING, cause if you pair Bradley Cooper and Robert De Niro in a movie, it’s obviously going to be something worth seeing.  OK, so it has only happened twice – first, with the crizzazzy Limitless & now with Playbook (the time where pre-fame Coops asked De Niro a question on Inside The Actor’s Studio doesn’t count), but still, Cooper/De Niro in 2016!!!!

So what is the Silver Linings Playbook? Bradley Coops is a bipolar man that has just returned home after an extended stay at a mental facility, who wants nothing more than his wife & previous life back, but that aint happening anytime soon, even if he’s under the delusion that it is.  In order to get better, Coops wants to see the silver lining in everything… AND USE IT AS HIS PLAYBOOK!  He gets help and support from his parents, De Niro & Jacki Weaver (she, the tuff & ruff & gruff Aussie mum in Animal Kingdom), even if he may have inherited his crazy from them.  Weaver doesn’t have that much to do besides bake & hug, but her smile is a comfort every time it is shown.  De Niro on the otherhand, is actually acting, as a character who lives & breathes, instead of juss showing up for a paycheck.  He is fantabolous, especially when he gets all itchy about his beloved Philadelphia Eagles, gambling & good luck charms.  DON’T YOU DARE MESS WITH HIS JUJU!!!!!

And while Coops also gets solid support from folks like Anupam KherJohn OrtizShea Whigham & Julia Stiles, he finds the most help from a kindred battered spirit in the form of Katniss Everdeen J-Law.  Her husband recently died, and she too wants to put her life back together.  This movie is really about Coops and J-Law moving forward in life, together, even if they seem like two ingredients in a recipe for disaster.  While the outcome may be a tad predictable, and a bit more dancy than Hugh, the journey is so dang earnest and honest and awesome that it actually pays to discover something so undiscoverious.  That isn’t a word, but this movie is so great that it’s forcing us to make up words.  We hope this wins lots of awards.  We hope you do too

summary of all fears – there’s a movie that Jennifer Lawrence is in that we don’t hate and/or hate her in it, which automatically makes it a MUSS MUSS MUSS SEEEEE!!!

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Silver Linings is gold in limited release this Friday

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…


Hamburger Pill

Ride This Baby Sky High
Official Website | Trailers & Mo

Do yerself a favor and shut off yer brain as Bradley Cooper ups his IQ quotient in Limitless.  Let him do all the thinking and you’ll be free to sit back and do nothing but udderly enjoy Neil Burger‘s rollercoaster ride of expedited ladder climbing.  Now we’re not saying that this is in any way a smart film, but it’s certainly the most fun we’ve had in a theater in this still young year (those fractal zooms are a real treat for the eyes!).  Plus any movie in this day and age that utilizes Robert De Niro‘s talent, instead of belittling it, has got to be something worth watching, no?  But don’t let his second billing fool you, as he’s not in the movie as much you’d think he would be

So what’s this all about?  Cooper is a writer with a serious case of brain block, and a book deadline beyond past due.  One day, he runs into his skeezy ex-brother-in-law (skeezy Johnny Whitworth) and he offers a solution to his problem, in the form of an unknown designer drug, promised to expand the mind by using all those unused parts.  And so it does, and he finishes his book in record time.  His publisher’s impressed, and now Cooper is too, and wants more of this perfect drug.  Problem be that his ex-bro-in-law got himself murdered, but Cooper finds his secret stash and its off to the races… and riches!!!

He turns his attentions to financial wizardry and starts making bookoo bucks, lickity split.  Finally, all of his wildest dreams are coming true, including the re-swooning of his former flame Abbie Cornish, and the attention of Wall Street bigwigs (DeNiro), but of course all of this is gonna come at a price, right???  How long can he keep this brain game up, and what happens when he runs out of the pills??  And what about that money he borrowed from that ruthless Eastern European dude (a delicious Andrew Howard)?  And why does his ex-wife (Anna Friel) look like a strung-out junkie?  And why might he be headed in that downward direction too????  Forget the questions, and like we said, shut that brain off and simply relish in this hot dog.  Plus yer gonna wanna see one of the bestest AND sillest use of a child’s legs in an action sequence EVER

Neil Burger Should Not Be Confused With: Neil Hamburger? btw, we’re dying to know what Neil Burger thinks of hamburgers

Verdictgo: Jeepers MOS DEF Worth A Peepers

Limitless is MORE today at a theater near jews this Friday

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

fractal zoom!!!!!


The Bruise Y’all Suspects

Little Fockers
RNing On Empty?
Official Website | Trailers & Mo

We didn’t pay to see this and we’re not getting paid to write this, but Fockers 3 was not awful.  Heck, we kinda sorta maybe really did maybe sorta kinda enjoy it.  Really.  Same thing applied with #2, where the jokes were often thin & flat, but we could not help but smile the whole way thru.  Sure, #3 has nothing new to add to the series (bits are recycled, and you can always see the troubles & foibles brewing 5 minutes before they happen) and story-wise, there’s nowhere really to go (eggcept to the bank to cash dem giant paycheck$$$$$), but we juss really like seeing these actors plays these characters, and interact with one another!!  We do!  Maybe you don’t, and if you don’t, then don’t see this, and you probably won’t.  Reel talk!!!

In the beginning, it seems like the Focker twins (chubby darlings Daisy Tahan & Colin Baiocchi) will be the focus, which would only make sense since this adventure is called Little Fockers, but quicker than you can say ‘Jinxy’, their cares & worries (like getting into some nutty school led by a barely used Laura Dern. Harvey Keitel is in this too and is also barely used too) are thrown under a bus so we can focus on what we all (didn’t) paid to see: Ben Stiller earning the approval, losing the approval, earning it again, losing it again and finally cementing the approval of father-in-law Robert De Niro, while his wife Teri Polo (remember her… nekkid?? NSFW) and mother-in-law Blythe Danner stand on the sidelines smiling & shruging.  Did someone hit the repeat button??  At least they had the decency to let Owen Wilson‘s WASPy Lothario get some more screen love in this go around, and limiting Focker parents Dustin Hoffman and Barbra Streisand‘s overly schlocky Jewishnessness

And how about Jessica Alba, as the drug rep out to steal Stiller’s heart away, at such an inopportune time when his whole family is coming together?  Lets juss say that every time she speaks, acting is set back 10 generations, and women may lose their right to vote, and be sent back to the kitchen.  There needs to be a rise in silent movies so she can become a silent film star!!!!!  FOCK HER!!!!

Fonda Got A Motor In Da Back of Her Honda:

meat Olga Fonda

Verdictgo: somehow, some way, at least to us… Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Fockers is edible un-comfort food at a theater near jews today

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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