Hannibal Lecture

The Rite
Diet Rite
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Father Gary Thomas is a real exorcist [read this interview!].  Matt Baglio wrote a book about him being a modern exorcist called The Rite. All this has been turned into a movie by Mikael Håfström (1408), but Father Thomas’ name has been changed to Michael Kovak (boring Colin O’Donoghue, who can barely open his eyes), probably to protect him being associated with this mostly blah movie.  If you run out and see this, you may need to be exorcised of boredom!!!

At first, Father Kovak’s struggle with faith and family (mortician father Rutger Hauer) holds our interest, all the way from his reluctance to enrolling in a seminary, to being coerced by Toby Jones into exorcism school at the Vatican in Rome.  When in Rome… teacher Ciarán Hinds (our mos flavroite actor going, besides Javier Bardem) sees something in the doubting Father K, he sends him off to learn from the master, Anthony Hopkins.  Hopkins takes him under his wing, and immediately has him assist in some de-demonizing.  So far, not so bad

Then things get convoluted, dumbfounded and juss plain dumb (and boring!) when they meet a boy who has a mysterious horseshoe imprint on his chest, and then Father K starts seeing and hearing things, and then doesn’t have sex with journalist Alice Braga, and then Hopkins starts acting strange (he smacks a child!!!!) and unleashes his own special style of hammy acting (like a more polished Nic Cage type dealio), which has diluted his performances as of late.  By the time Father K finds his faith (and Hopkins calms down), you’ll have long lost yours!!!

All Rite: Marta Gastini is one of the possessed peoples in this movie, and it’s no wonder, cause we’d love to possess her too!!!!

+ her ‘aunt’ is played by the bountiful Maria Grazia Cucinotta (of The Fap Is Not Enuff fame)

Verdictgo: the wrong outweighs the rite, so gotta go with Slit Your Eyes Out Repoopulous

Rite goes off today at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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