Tag Archives: Honor Blackman

Thighs Wide Movies 2016

I’m never getting around to seeing Fences or Lion, so here’s…

Dwelve Into These Twelve
of 2016

1) Tower

tower-doc

A real life tragic event gets Waking Lifed, and it’s not only scary and horrific, but hopeful AND inspiring!

2) I Am Not Your Negro

What it’s like to be an African-American in America (when you’re white and have no clue what it’s like).  It raises all sorts of important questions that no one is really asking, or sadly, bothering to answer

3) Patriots Day

An event I didn’t plan on reliving ended up making me feel proud to be an American… in a time I’m ashamed to be an American

4) 20th Century Women

It’s like listening to The Talking Heads for the very first time – WOAH!

5) The Founder

Sometimes it takes some awful in humans to make greatness, and greasiness for us all!

6) The Light Between Oceans

light between oceans

Perhaps the year’s most overlooked movie that had ‘Oscar bait’ written all over it.  You no longer have to take the bait to something that no longer is baiting you, and it’s time for you to no longer overlook this film!

7) Bleed For This

bleed-for-this

if Miles Teller bleeds – I will come!

8) Embrace of the Serpent

I apparently never reviewed Serpent, but you need to Embrace this film – which puts the ‘lonely’ in ‘coLONELYialism’!

9) Streit’s: Matzo and the American Dream

streits matzo doc

All things must pass – even the Lower East Side’s last remaining matzah factory, and with it, a part of Jewish culture and identity in America :( 

10) Hell or High Water

hell-or-high-water-mustaches

Why choose when you can have BOTH hell AND high water!!!

11) Sully

sully

Dude is mad fly!

12) Raiders!: The Story of the Greatest Fan Film Ever Made

raiders dudes

These guys lived out their childhood dreams, in childhood, and finished them in their adulthood!  Fedora hats off forever to these dudes!!

–

and now for the…

Honor Blackmanable Mentions

Elstree 1976 / Snowden / Rouge One / Love & Friendship / The Witch / Jackie / La La Land / Toni Erdmann / Jheronimus Bosch, Touched by the Devil / Doctor Strange / the first 2/3rds of Moonlight / Indignation / The Lobster / Me Before You / Bridget Jones’s Baby / My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2

our annual anal movie awards – The Thighsmans – drops the Friday before the Oscars.  stay pooned!

until then, here’s the bestest films of yesterhere

2015
2014
2013
2012
2011
2010
2009
2008
2007
2006
2005
2004
2003
& 2002

1 Comment

Thighs Wide Movies 2015

1) Deli Man

deli man

I never reviewed this documentary, cause I saw it on a plane, and I usually don’t review movies I’ve seen on planes.  It was the perfect plane movie, but it was also the perfect movie movie – it was funny, and entertaining, and informative, and it actually made me cry – tears of joy.  It also made me proud to be Jewish, and reminded me what I value most of my Judaism – tradition thru food, and how we must never lose either.  Levy’s Rye said you didn’t have to be Jewish to love their bread, and the same is true of this documentary.  Bless you Ziggy Gruber – you are the Jewish Ziggy Stardust

there were plenty of other grrrrrrrrrrrrrrreat films in the ’15 of 2000, but instead of ranking them against one another, this year I’m juss gonna lump them together, saying they all grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreat – in reverse alphabetical order…

 

Straight Out of Compton

nwa

if Paul Giamatti is your movie’s main a$$hole, and your soundtrack is NWA, you have a surefire hit

Star Wars – The Force Awakens

force awakens

JJ Abrams may have played it safe, leaning on the past, but that’s what the people wanted, and he gave us stuff we didn’t even know we wanted – a Rey of hope for the future  

George Lucas who?

Spotlight

spotlight

it’s the Zodiac of priest abusing children movies!!

Son of Saul

son of saul

imagine the intensity of Saving Private Ryan, but strip the patriotism and cheese, set it in and around a concentration camp, and let the horror destroy your senses – yes the würst date movie of 2015 is also one of its best!

The Search For General Tso

search general tso

a MUST for anyone who eats Chinese food in America (aka, every American)

The Martian

who said Ridley Scott needed aliens to make space wonder-full?

Maps To The Stars

maps to the stars

I had to pick one fcuked up movie to make my list, so why not the one that says incest is best/würst!!!

Mad Max – Fury Road

I mean the guy with the flamethrower guitar was the tamest part of the movie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Joy

this is the movie American Hustle should have been, but wasn’t, but this is Joy, and Joy was all American, all hustle, and all awesome

The Intern

schmaltz-o ball soup for the soul.  I SLURPPED IT UP BIG TIME.  can’t wait to watch it on cable for eons to come!!

The Death of Superman Lives, What Happened?

superman lives

the (second) greatest doc ever made about the (second) greatest film never made 

(the first was last year’s #1)

Creed

some things DO get better with age

Brooklyn

they say they don’t make movies like they used to, but they wrong.  they should say they should make more movies like this

Black Mass

Deep as Whitey gave me a bulger in my pants

The Big Short

finally, a movie about the economic collapse that doesn’t make you want to take a coll-nap

Amy

too bad the title Trainwreck was wasted on another movie

 

–

and now for the…

Honor Blackmanable Mentions

honor blackman sean

Vacation / While We’re Young / Tomorrowland / Steve Jobs / Rosenwald / Room / Pitch Perfect 2 / Kingsman: The Secret Service / It Follows / Iris / Furious 7 / Ex Machina / The Danish Girl

–

our annual anal movie awards – The Thighsmans – drops the week of the Oscars 

until then, here’s the bestest films of yesterhere

2014
2013
2012
2011
2010
2009
2008
2007
2006
2005
2004
2003
& 2002

3 Comments

Heating Pack

bond girls goldfinger

Shirley Eaton, Honor Blackman and Tania Mallet are fully loaded in 1964’s Goldfinger 

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Thighs Wide Movies 2014

Movies2014

 

The Flowqueens of ‘14.5

 

1) Jodorowsky’s Dune

dune book

The greatest doc ever made about the greatest film never made, EVER!!  So many ‘what if?‘s AND ‘what the f#$k??!!!‘s to shake your head at

2) Whiplash

whiplash

Dude, WHIPLASHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2.5) The Trip to Italy

the trip to italy

Lightening strikes twice as Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon take their thick shtick to Italy.  Hilarity ensues at every blip on the map.  AMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3) The Babadook

babdook

Are the things going bump in the night all in their heads?  Too late, they are now in our heads too!  BABA-DOOK DOOOK DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4) Mr Turner

mr turner

Literally watching paint dry – and it’s amazing!!!

5) Foxcatcher

foxcatcher

Carell’s nose, Ruffalo’s beard and hairline + Tatum’s sad face = Pinned-trest-ed!!!

6) Nightcrawler

creepy jake

Jake Gynenhehahehallllll is watching you.   Watch him back

7) The LEGO® Movie

lego movie

Toys with our emotions in the best way possible.  It also happens to be funniest Will Ferrell flick in half a decade

8) Inherent Vice

Inherent Vice

Katherine Waterston continues her ‘brave’ (read – ‘nude’) work in cinema

9) Dawn of The Planet of The Apes

dawn planet apes

Going ape-sh!t, again

- 

10) Citizenfour

ed snowden

The year’s best thriller is not only based on a true story – it is THE truest true story!

11) The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies

hobbit 3

Unibrowser Yowzers!!

- 

12) Boyhood

gorw boyhood

Seamless production and process like none other make up for a somewhat lacking narrative.  Bring on Manhood!!!!!!!!!!!!!

13) The Double

the double

Every movie needs Jesse Eisenberg.  So why not have two Jesse Eisenbergs???

14) Step Up All In

step up ani3

If you’re not in, you are OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and now for the…

Honor Blackmanable Mentions

honor blackman

The Fault In Our Stars / Get On Up / Interstellar / Jersey Boys / Lucy / Palo Alto / X-Men: Days of Future Past

our annual anal movie awards – The Thighsmans – drops the week of the Oscars 

until then, here’s the bestest films of yesterhere

2013
2012
2011
2010
2009
2008
2007
2006
2005
2004
2003
& 2002

2 Comments

Honorable Discharge

elle evans blackman

honorblackman goldfingfer

Elle Evans as Honor Blackman as Pussy Galore in Goldfinger by Art Streiber

[I’m off for fun in the sun. C.U.N.T (c u next Thursday)]

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