Tag Archives: Nightcrawler

Thighs Wide Movies 2014

Movies2014

 

The Flowqueens of ‘14.5

 

1) Jodorowsky’s Dune

dune book

The greatest doc ever made about the greatest film never made, EVER!!  So many ‘what if?‘s AND ‘what the f#$k??!!!‘s to shake your head at

2) Whiplash

whiplash

Dude, WHIPLASHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2.5) The Trip to Italy

the trip to italy

Lightening strikes twice as Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon take their thick shtick to Italy.  Hilarity ensues at every blip on the map.  AMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3) The Babadook

babdook

Are the things going bump in the night all in their heads?  Too late, they are now in our heads too!  BABA-DOOK DOOOK DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4) Mr Turner

mr turner

Literally watching paint dry – and it’s amazing!!!

5) Foxcatcher

foxcatcher

Carell’s nose, Ruffalo’s beard and hairline + Tatum’s sad face = Pinned-trest-ed!!!

6) Nightcrawler

creepy jake

Jake Gynenhehahehallllll is watching you.   Watch him back

7) The LEGO® Movie

lego movie

Toys with our emotions in the best way possible.  It also happens to be funniest Will Ferrell flick in half a decade

8) Inherent Vice

Inherent Vice

Katherine Waterston continues her ‘brave’ (read – ‘nude’) work in cinema

9) Dawn of The Planet of The Apes

dawn planet apes

Going ape-sh!t, again

- 

10) Citizenfour

ed snowden

The year’s best thriller is not only based on a true story – it is THE truest true story!

11) The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies

hobbit 3

Unibrowser Yowzers!!

- 

12) Boyhood

gorw boyhood

Seamless production and process like none other make up for a somewhat lacking narrative.  Bring on Manhood!!!!!!!!!!!!!

13) The Double

the double

Every movie needs Jesse Eisenberg.  So why not have two Jesse Eisenbergs???

14) Step Up All In

step up ani3

If you’re not in, you are OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and now for the…

Honor Blackmanable Mentions

honor blackman

The Fault In Our Stars / Get On Up / Interstellar / Jersey Boys / Lucy / Palo Alto / X-Men: Days of Future Past

our annual anal movie awards – The Thighsmans – drops the week of the Oscars 

until then, here’s the bestest films of yesterhere

2013
2012
2011
2010
2009
2008
2007
2006
2005
2004
2003
& 2002

2 Comments

Jake Gyllenhaal Is Watching You

Nightcrawler
Jeepers Creepers Peepers
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 117 min

Dude, Dan Gilroy‘s Nightcrawler is some creepy creeper creepenstein stuffs. It’s about Jake Gyanlennelhallll being a super creep with super super super creepy eyes and creeping the heck out of people with creepy stuff he films, to sell to TV stations (and like creeping out old hottie Rene Russo and creeping her into like doing sexual things to him… offscreen!! it’s like the first movie of this century with lots of sexual tension that doesn’t resort to showing sex!!!)

Look, don’t get me wrong, Jake Gynnahhaenhahhyall has always had super intense creeper peepers, but in Nightcrawler, it’s like 10zillionfold creeper creeps!!!!

creepy jake

creepy jake2

jcreeps

jake watching

gylenhalll creepers

creeps

jake creepy

jake creep nigt

jake creep nigt2

nightcrawler

creepy jake nightcrawler

jake crazy eyes

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Nightcrawler bugs you like Gynenhahhhall’s eyes, at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Jake Gyllenhaal is watching you

2 Comments

eXTReMe Tracker