The Flowqueens of ‘14.5

 

1) Jodorowsky’s Dune

The greatest doc ever made about the greatest film never made, EVER!!  So many ‘what if?‘s AND ‘what the f#$k??!!!‘s to shake your head at

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2) Whiplash

Dude, WHIPLASHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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2.5) The Trip to Italy

Lightening strikes twice as Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon take their thick shtick to Italy.  Hilarity ensues at every blip on the map.  AMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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3) The Babadook

Are the things going bump in the night all in their heads?  Too late, they are now in our heads too!  BABA-DOOK DOOOK DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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4) Mr Turner

Literally watching paint dry – and it’s amazing!!!

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5) Foxcatcher

Carell’s nose, Ruffalo’s beard and hairline + Tatum’s sad face = Pinned-trest-ed!!!

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6) Nightcrawler

Jake Gynenhehahehallllll is watching you.   Watch him back

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7) The LEGO® Movie

Toys with our emotions in the best way possible.  It also happens to be funniest Will Ferrell flick in half a decade

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8) Inherent Vice

Katherine Waterston continues her ‘brave’ (read – ‘nude’) work in cinema

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9) Dawn of The Planet of The Apes

Going ape-sh!t, again

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10) Citizenfour

The year’s best thriller is not only based on a true story – it is THE truest true story!

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11) The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies

Unibrowser Yowzers!!

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12) Boyhood

Seamless production and process like none other make up for a somewhat lacking narrative.  Bring on Manhood!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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13) The Double

Every movie needs Jesse Eisenberg.  So why not have two Jesse Eisenbergs???

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14) Step Up All In

If you’re not in, you are OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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and now for the…

Honor Blackmanable Mentions

The Fault In Our Stars / Get On Up / Interstellar / Jersey Boys / Lucy / Palo Alto / X-Men: Days of Future Past

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our annual anal movie awards – The Thighsmans – drops the week of the Oscars 

until then, here’s the bestest films of yesterhere

2013
2012
2011
2010
2009
2008
2007
2006
2005
2004
2003
& 2002

The Babadook
Australian Horror Story: Freaky Show
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
Not Rated | 93 min

Amelia (Essie Davis) has so many issues, she has about 12929239 subscriptions. Her husband died in a car crash, rushing to get her to the hospital for the birth of their only child. As her son Samuel (Noah Wiseman) is about to turn 7, he’s an unruly fatherless mess, and her widow-ed pain and suffering is still visible on her sullen and hollow face. Nowhere to go but down, right? Yep

Little Samuel’s being terrorized by a monster in his closet (or is it under his bed?). Mom wants him to stop being foolish, but when a dark and cruelly written book called Mister Babadook, starring her son’s boogeyman, randomly appears in their house, Amelia starts to feel spooked too. Things go bump in the night… and even during the day. Mother and son’s relationship goes from strained to tethered, and it makes their home life even bleaker than Bleak House. Is this monster for real, or is it all in their heads?????

Babadook is a super-sized version of director Jennifer Kent‘s short film Monster, which covers similar ground, so don’t watch it until AFTER you see Babadook. For a first time feature director, Kent is marvelous, and her delivery is whip-smart. She doesn’t cheat the audience with showing too much – leaving the mystery pretty much a mystery from start to finish, and lets her screen mother and son do all the work, as they work thru their grief. And they both come through brilliantly!!!! IN SPADES!!!! AND HEARTS!!! CLOVERS!!!! AND DIAMONDS!!!

Essie Davis is a revelation. She runs the gamut of emotions – from apeshit to zowsers – and I hope this puts her on Hollywood’s radar. Little Noah Wiseman is simply incredible. How a kid that young can do what he does in the film is a sight to be seen, and to be mesmerized AND scared sh!tless by. His performance is right up there with Linda Blair’s in The Exorcist and Harvey Stephens’ in The Omen. And The Babadook is thatclose in awesomeness alongside those 70s horror movies. It feels like it’s their born-too-late little brother. Better late than never. Better this than most other modern horror films!

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Babadook dooks dooks dooks in limited release AND on-demand

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…