Tag Archives: Winston Churchill

Speak Loudly & Carry A Little Cigar

Darkest Hour
Puff, Puff, Pass
Official Site | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 125 min

How do you like your war movies?  Things that go boom?  Or do you prefer endless talking, in a cloud of endless cigar smoke?  If you prefer the latter, then STEP RIGHT UP to Joe Wright‘s Darkest Hour, which can certainly talk the endless talk, but the movie has zero WALK.  OK, that’s not true – there’s a LOT of walking.  If the Winston Churchill of this movie had a Fitbit on his wrist, he would be so proud by the amount of steps taken by the end of the film 

But would the real Churchill be proud of the performance that Gary Oldman attempts?  LARGE SHOES (and not juss cause Winnie’s overweight), and Oldman can always go larger than life (or shoes), but I didn’t buy it at all.  The whole time watching, me like – is that what Winston Churchill was like?  Some dude in terrible make-up, who’s prone to overracting in order to get Gary his 2nd ever Academy Award nomination???? No thanks  

Also, in this war movie – WHERE’S THE WAR?????  What went on in Dunkirk gets a mention, and when it does, me like – man, I wish I could juss watch Dunkirk instead of this!!! 

Lost in all the blubbery make-up (and the really dumb and cheesy secretary character played by Lily James) are two things I really liked – learning what happened to Neville Chamberlain (a scared looking Ronald Pickup) after he stepped aside for Churchill, and seeing what a restrained Ben Mendelsohn looks like.  He plays King George VI, without much of a stammer, but I loved the performance.  A better acting exercise woulda been to scarp this movie and juss remake The King’s Speech, but with Mendelsohn stuttering instead of Colin Firth.  I mean, they made two Capote movies, and both were great!  They could have named the Mendelsohn one – Gawd Save The Qqqqqqqueeen

Verdictgo: Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badgers

Darkest Hour clocks in today in limited release

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…


Anxious & Allies

The King’s Speech
Oh-Oh Oh-Oh Oh-Oh, Here Comes The Stammer
Official Website | Trailers & Mo

You know how the pre-WWII England royalty saga went down, right?  Qwik refresher course: King George V (Michael Gambon, who’s been dying on screen a bunch lately, no?) wasn’t getting any younger or healthier, but luckily he had two dashing heirs to succeed him.  The eldest was King Edward VIII (we keep 5getting how awesomes Guy Pearce is), but he was a reluctant sovereign, cause he was head over heels in love with a twice divorced American woman that went by the name of Wallis Simpson (Eve Best > Jahvid Best).  Ultimately, Edward had to choose between the well worn throne and the well worn her, and amazingly she won out!  GAWD SAVE THE KING!!!!!!!!!  So brother King George VI (Colin Firth, with an Oscar race that’s his to lose?) ascended to where his brother abdicated.  Good fodder for a flick, no?  Yes indeedy-do, but wait, there’s more!!!!!  George the VI (not Warshawski, but Bertie, as he was known to those close to him) had a terrible stutter!!!!!!!!!!  OH NO!!!!!!  Here’s a guy who’s suppose to be the voice of an Empire, and yet he has no voice!!!!  It’s a battle that’s almos bigger than the one about to engulf all of Europe, and then the world!!!

Poor George the VI/Bertie.  He’s the right man for the job, but for the life of him, public and even private speaking is juss not his Matt Forte.  He and his ultra patient wife,  The Queen Mum (Helena Bonham Carter) have tried everything, and yet they haven’t.  Enter Aussie vocal coach Lionel Logue (Geoffrey Rush, also with an Oscar race that’s his to lose?) and his unorthodox methods!!!  At first, Bertie aint a fan, and actually, at second, third, fourth and fifth he also aints a fan, but eventually, and again and again, is won over by the results that Lionel is able to coax out of him.  Awwww, our heart is pidder-paddering all over again and again at the thought of these two people and actors working in such great harmony to conquer a speech impediment!!!!!

Directer Tom Hooper (The Damned United) and writer David Seidler (a former stutterer himself!) have pieced together something quite marvelously winning with The King’s Speech (despite it’s bland poster).  The film is so darn delightful and delovely that by the end we wanted to give it a giant hug.  But how can one hug a movie????  It’s impossible, but we certainly tried!!!!  Triple bonus points for casting Jennifer Ehle as Lionel’s wife, and giving her a brief reunion scene with her Pride & Prejudice co-star Colin Firthypants!!!! But wait, she’s juss as capable as Bonham Cater, so why didn’t they give her the Queen Mum role?  And aint anything co-starring Timothy Spall (as Winston Churchill) probably worth watching, no???  YES! YES! YES!!!!!!!  Bestest stuttering movie since A Fish Called Wanda!!!

Beard Science: what happened to our leaders??? they used to all have awesome great big bushy beards, and everyone knows that beards rule!!! especially those of look-a-like first cousins King George V & Tsar Nicholas II!!!!!!

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Speech talks the talk this Friday in limited release

Rental Round-Up Dawg:

Harlan – In the Shadow of Jew Suss

[website | Netflix | Amazon]

Imagine for a second that yer father or perhaps grandfather was the greatest film director that thrived under Nazi Germany.  And no, we’re not talking about Leni Riefenstahl, cause she’s not a man.  The man in question is Veit Harlan, and the man for butter or worse, was the Nazi’s Steven Spielberg.  He made a not so lil antisemitic film called Jud Süß (Jew Süss) that both made and ruined him.  When the war ended, and he was absolved of any wrongdoing, life goes back to normal, right?  Nope, it doesn’t, and the Nazi stain and the shadow of Jew Suss that was cast are two thangs that are quite hard to remove.  Juss ask his kin and their kin.  That’s what this Harlan doc is all about.  And ya wanna know who one of thems kins is?  A not so lil lady by the name of Christiane Kubrick.  Interesting!  Wife of the self-loathing Jew Stanley marries a relative of a Nazi propagandist!!!!  Well, the whole doc is verrrry interesting, and we’re sorta secretly in love with one of his granddaughters that looks like a German Björk (the one in the middle).  Maybe she should marry this self-loathing Jew????  Only THE SHADOW KNOWS!!!

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…


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