Tag Archives: Chris O’Dowd

Aboriginal Unoriginal

The Sapphires 
It Can’t Help Itself – Sugary Pie Honey Too Much
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG 13 | 103 min

the sapphires

Oh wow, there was a real-life foursome of Aboriginal gals who were so good at singing, but unloved by Australian white folk that the girls took off for Vietnam to sing to US troops during the war!!!!  That one sentence, including the exclamation points, is about as excited as the movie wants you to be while watching it.  Well, if your idea of a movie is a shoestring plot with zero drama, barely strung together with Motown songs you already love, with some, for once, MUCH NEEDED comic relief from  (usually we need relief from him), then The The Sapphires is for you!!  The only time the movie gets real, and deep, and remotely moving is when title cards come up at the end to tell us about what became of the real women.  Too bad that everything that came before it was like drinking Velveeta thruPixy Stix stick.  OK, ok, sure, it’s impossible to truly hate on this sugary-sweet movie, but it’s OK to pass on it too, especially since you can do much better, like (re-)watching The Commitments, which is pretty much the same thing, cept with better filmmaking, acting, songs, humor, and Irish people (sorry Mr O’Dowd, but it’s true)

Verdictgo: Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges

Sapphires don’ts exactly sparkle in limited release this Friday 

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

0 Comments

The 2012 Thighsmans

picked the breastest movies of the beastest of the 2012

and now, for the only awards that matter…

9thishendith Anal Thighs Wide Movie Awards

aka

THE THIGHSMANS!!!

_

 

The Death To Smoochy Würstest Picture AND The Gus van Sant Most Pretentious Holy French Gar-bagé Film of the Year!!!!!

Smoochy Holy Motos

Holy Motors Shit

dishonrable mentions for also sucking a$$…

Hunger Lames & Hitchsucks

_

 

Favoriteisteest Performance
of The Year
Barr None

Tara Lynne Barr

Tara Lynne Barr

in the not so great God Bless America

_

 

The 3rd Annual
Greta Grrr Wig
Recipient of The OK
This Joke/Career
Muss Be Stopped Now Award

ODowd Grrr Wig

Chris O’Dowd

we get it, you’re Irish, bearded, and loud, now go away

_

 

Always Bet On These Lil Shirley Temple Black (& White) Children

Quvenzhané Wallis / The Impossible trio -  Tom Holland, Oaklee Pendergast Samuel Joslin / David Rauchenberger /  Max Charles / Ella Purnell / Gulliver McGrath / Shannon Beer / Thomas Doret / Brady Hender and Nick Nervies (above) /  Judd Apatow’s kids

_

 

The Samuel L Jackson Never Met A Script He Didn’t Like Guy of The Year

 Cranston-Windu

Bryan Cranston

who had 7 flix released in 2012!!

_

 

Comeback of The Year

that wasn’t Rodriguez

WB-Logo

The 1972 Warner Bros logo as seen in Argo and Magic Mike

_

 

Facial Hair That Cares

spader-lincoln

tie  

Rory Cochrane in Argo

& James Spader in Lincoln 

bonus shout-out to
Marcel Herrand in 1945′s Les Enfants du Paradis

_

Würstest Hitchcock
Impersonation/Make-Up Job
That Was More Like
A TV’s Batman Penguin
Impersonation/Embarrassment

HitchcockPenguin

Anthony Hopkins ‘as’ Hitchcock in Hitchsucks

_

 

Würstest Baseball Play-By-Play Call
By A Former Member of ’N Sync

Justin Timberlake
in Trouble With The Play-By-Play

_

 

Bob’s Big Girls – The Bobbies!

bae doona bob

Bae Donna as Sonmi-451 in Cloud Atlas 
+7 other winners
!

_

 

The KFC Finger Stickin’ Goodness Goodie Three Shoes Award

Anne Hathaway as Catwoman = WOWWWWWW

Ali Cobrin showing off her American boobs in American Reunion [NSFW]

the Skyfall Bond Girls

that kid from Project X was in nerd porn [NSFW]

Marion Cotillard is rusty, but she bones without 2 legs [NSFW]

the hunt for naked Helen Hunt never ends!!! [NSFW]

Paperwoman

+

Apron We Wish Was
More Like AprOFF!!

dreama-apron

Dreama Walker in an apron!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! with nothing else in Compliance

_

 

Eyes Wide Open For Bidness 9ever

aka Bestest Eyes

eyes amanda s

Amanda Seyfried in Lez Snooze

_

 

Heathcote Most Worth Bellaing

aka Bestest Eyes That Aren’t Amanda Seyfried’s

Bella Heathcote

in Dark Shadows and Not Fade Away

_

The LAC Daddy Mommy

aka Bestest Eyes That Aren’t Amanda Seyfried’s
or Bella Heathcote’s 

Lauren Ashley Carter in Premium Rush

_

 

Face Timeless

Tim McMullan’s face in The Woman In Black

 _

Miscecallous Things That Either Stepped Up or Stepped Down More Than Peter Gallagher’s Eyebrows Did In Step-Up 99999-D 

everything about The Tin Drum

those Robot & Frank VGC-60L posters

remembering the forgotten McDonalds scenes
in the original Red Dawn

Bradley Cooper as a student asked Robert DeNiro a question on Inside The Actor’s Studio

The Ancient Booer is still alive!!!!!

trying to figure out what ‘Wuthering’ means

Bob Marley’s dad was a white dude

our Prometheus review

that poor kid with the fish lips

I keep forgetting that Crispin Glover didn’t play George McFly in Back to the Future II and III

and wait, Michael Keaton was originally in Purple Rose of Cairo??

farting and hand jobs do not need to be seen
in 70mm or even 1mm

jury’s still out on 48fps

an athletic center grows in a former movie palace in Brooklyn

goodbye Lucas, hello better new Star Wars

Warhol of Fame

Javier Dean Bardem Morgan

the American dumphole palace to end all dumphole palaces can be yours!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DB Sweeney retweeted our DB Sweeney tweet!!!!!

_

Songs That Execute Butter Than Norman Mailer’s Bong Hobbit Pipe

norman-mailer-hobbit

anything by Rodriguez

Ici LondresandQui Aimes-tu?by Chiara Mastroianni & Paul Schneider in Beloved (Les Bien Aimés)

Skyfall by Adele

Les Surfs – ‘Tú serás mi baby (Be My baby)’ from Tabu

anything sung by Katpoop Everdeen

the theme from Django and Django Unchained

Katy Perry’s ‘Firework’ in Rust & Bone

Beasts of the Southern Wild soundtrack

The Cloud Atlas sextet

and my fav of the year…

Let My Baby Ride‘ in Holy Motors

and the würst

‘Señor Don Gato’ by Hani Furstenberg in The Loneliest Planet
(be thankful I can’t find a clip of it)

_

Trailers Worth Tractoring

(in memory of Robert ‘Tractor’ Traylor we are going back to naming our trailer award after him!)

 robert traylor

_

Poster Her! Poster We! Poster Haste!

2012-Movie-Posters

2012-Movie-Posters_wide

 

+

 

& the würst

& the würrstetst

& twinsies würsteresteserteestsers!!!

_

Unintentional Porn To Be Wild Titles

black hole

The Devil Inside / Joyful Noise / Coriolanus / The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel / Rust and Bone /The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure / Frankenweenie / Here Comes the Boom / Fun Size / The Man with the Iron Fists / Jack Reacher

_

Fenella Woolgar Bestest Names Award

(not limited to actors)

fenella

Wilfred Pickles / Pumpsie Green / Gonnie Baars / Bibhutibhushan Bandyopadhyay / Scoot McPoop / Billy Butts / Barend Barendse / Hella Kürty / Sky Low Low / Chill Wills / Cutter Dykstra / Poodles Hanneford / Tuffy Genders / Mimis Fotopoulos / Kittens Reichert / Toon Kortooms / Sal Pacino 

_

Movies To Look For In The ’013

Mexican remake of DC Cab 

Jiro Dreams of Dreama Walker

Project XI

Abraham Lincoln: Holly Hunter

12 Fast, 12 Furious

_

In Memoriam

Vampire Baseball

+

Tony Scott & BorgNINEever & Ralph McQuarrie & Enduring Durning & Andy G & Dick D-AWESOME & Ben Gazzarra

+ 

Scary German Guy

 

don’t forget to peep out our ’11’10’09’08’07’06’05’04’03, and ’02 awards!! 

movies are amazing, and so are you 

until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

3 Comments

Apatowzing

This Is 40
The Family That Annoys Together Stays Together
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 134 min

We get it Judd Apatow - you love your annoying wife and your mildly charming kids and their kinks and quirks and complaints and you think Paul Rudd is a handsome version of you and you need to put all of this into a movie.  Well, a funny thing happened on the way to me automatically hating this movie – I DIDN’T.  In fact, I really really liked it.  It was funny.  It’s actually the best thing Judd Apatow has done since The Critic + The Ben Stiller Show.  I dreaded seeing this movie, but now I could sit thru it 40 more times.  Mind you, it’s not thighly creative, and his kids are awful at acting, and his wife is really really really annoying, but Paul Rudd is probably the most lovable actor alive, and the movie is funny.  And that’s that!  Oh, yeah, nice try trying to revive Graham Parker’s career.  Stop trying to be the Quentin Tarantino of unappreciated music acts.  But oh, yeah, Hollywürst, please put Albert Brooks in EVERYTHING going forward.  He’s not the most lovable actor alive, but who doesn’t love Albert Brooks?  And, oh yeah, Hollywürst, take Chris O’Dowd out of EVERYTHING going forward.  Thanks!

Verdictgo: Jeepers MOS DEF Worth A Peepers

This Is 40 is better than 39 at theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

1 Comment

Wo-man Is An Island

Bridesmaids
Wedding Our Pants
Official WebsiteTrailers & Mo
R | 125 min

Oh my gosh!  Who knew that women could be funny AND have a movie in which to show it?  AND it came from Judd Apatow, the man who makes so many man comedies… that aren’t really all THAT funny, although everyone thinks they are.  But we’re not going to waste your time griping about Judd Apatow like we usually do, cause for once he got the funny write (although what did he do besides put his name on it?).  YEAH WOMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bridesmaids is dangs funny (and rememberrrrrrrrrr… it takes a lot to make us laffffff!!!).  It’s not a great movie by any imagination of the stretch (pretty standard story stuff here – a woman trying to find love), but who cares!!  Kristen Wiig does her Wiig thang and Maya Rudolph doesn’t really do anything, and come to think of it, neither does Wendi McLendon-Covey or Ellie Kemper, even if they are great company.  Rose Byrne plays an unfun bitch (doesn’t she get sick of that?  we’re starting to), and Jon Hamm plays a way fun a$$hole.  Melissa McCarthy steals the show (she needs her own movie, and probably will get one), and some British people are in it (like Chris O’Dowd) cause they’re probably cheaper (and funnier) than Jason Segel.  But why the poop jokes? WHY?  No man wants to even think of a woman pooping.  Do you womens?  Wait, do any womens read this site?  If so, will you marry us?

Lovey Covey:  there’s juss something so hot about Wendi

(probably cause she was Michael Scott’s one-night stand in Canada)

Verdictgo: Jeepers Mos Def Worth A Peepers

Bridesmaids marries women & laughter at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

1 Comment

eXTReMe Tracker