Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol
This Review Will Self-D-Suck In 5 Seconds
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 133 min

Fourth time’s a charm, if you choose to accept it.  It’s true!  After 3 failed missions, Mission Impossible 4 is the best of the series, but that’s almos like saying that getting gonorrhea is better than getting cancer or AIDS!  Good work Brad Bird???  OK, so this movie is overly long, and loses any sort of steam it had steaming after Tom Cruise does that thing on that building in Dubai and then runs wild in a sandstorm, but it’s OK cause it’s all OK, instead of being beyond awful.  Even if Jeremy Renner feels out of place, and Anil Kapoor‘s appearance is pointless, and Simon Pegg‘s quips aren’t all that quippy, cause Michael Nyqvist is such a perfect scowling Euro-trashy baddie, like he was in Abduction, and Paula Patton is hot and even hotter when fighting Léa Seydoux!  OK! OK?  Sure!  Whatever!

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Mission is mos possibly playing at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

2012 is gonna be the breast year ever!!!!

mo nutty Nutsness for 2012 [NSFW]

you know the drill - The Washington Post does it, we does it too, better or worse or perhaps even worser.  anywho, to 2012, and beyondce…

OUT	IN
Kardashians	Calrissians
Tebowing	Bilbo Baggins’d
What About Bobbed?	What About Watermelon?
Adele	Bdele
Anthony Weiner	John Cocktosten
North Korea	West Korea
Amanda Knox	Amanda Knox’ Knockers
SMiLE	FRoWN
David Keith	Keith David
The Arab Spring	An Arab Remake of Sprung
Nostalgia	Yestalgia
basketball on aircraft carriers	jai alai on hovercrafts
being compared to Hitler	being compared to Houghton Mifflin
Dragon Tattoos	Pete’s Dragon Tattoos
Godfather’s Pizza	Dogfather Hot Dogs
Quickster	Slowster
Steve Jobs	Steve Unemployeds
Words With Friends	Winwood & Friends
Silent Films	Ceylon Films
Louis CK	BK Dymacels
Skinny Jonah Hill	Jonah Hill’s Skin Flute
Sleep No More	Awake Yes Less
Casey Anthony	Casey Siemaszko
Occupy Wall Street	Rockupy Hollywood & Vine
Bridesmaids	Chi McBride‘s Maids
Osama bin Laden	Coleslama bin Laden
Winning	Whinnying
Kepler-22b Jokes	Uranus Jokes
Penn State Inappropriate Touching	Penn State Penitentiary Inappropriate Touching

and here’s what was In Oder Aus in the ’006, the ’007, the ’008, the ’009, the ‘010, and the ‘011

CBS Sunday Morning is the #1 show on TV ever (sorry Twin Peaks), and as for 2011…

1. Dan Le Batard Is Highly Questionable (ESPN)

It’s father’s day, every day, on the funniest show on TV, and it isn’t even a comedy.  Take a look above and tell we that that’s something you don’t want to watch DAILY.  Papi for presidente!!

2. Breaking Bad (AMC)

Every time you think things can’t get more f#%cked up, things goes beyonds more f#%cked up, and it’s f#%cking RAWsome!!!

3. Misfits (E4, England)

Losing Robert Sheehan would seem like a nail in the Misfits coffin, but that was not even close to the case with Joseph Gilgun getting mad rude as Rudy.  Each episode feels like its own season, and that’s a GREAT THING

4. Homeland (Showtime)

It’s everything 24 wasn’t – believable terrorism stuff happening on our shores, and it was all more tense than a KOA campground!!  Damian Lewis deserves to win every award he would be eligible for… and the supporting trio of Claire Danes, Mandy Patinkin and Morena Baccarin is third to none

5. American Horror Story (FX)

It broke every TV show rule, and a lot of bones AND boners.  Don’t even know how they’re gonna be able to top this debut season, but we can’t wait to see how they do it

6. Beavis & Butt-head (MTV)

Why did B&B ever go away?

7. Life’s Too Short (BBC2/HBO)

Warwick Davis plays himself, but channels show creator and co-star Ricky Gervais (think how people play the Woody Allen role in Woody Allen movies) in more cringe-inducing situations than Larry David could ever imagine… for dwarves

8. Episodes (Showtime)

They made Matt LeBlanc funny.  A feat and feast that must be seen

9. Curb Your Enthusiasm (HBO)

If you know what goes on in the pic above, you know the show hasn’t gathered even a speck of moss in its 8th, New York-centric, season

10. Ebert Presents At The Movies (PBS)

Honestly, it doesn’t matter who’s in the chair and which direction their thumbs go, it juss matters that there are chairs being sat in and thumbs being moved in a direction.  Never leave, although that may not be the case

11. Children’s Hospital (Cartoon Network)

Name a better 11 minute show on TV… ever?

12. Boardwalk Empire (HBO)

MOTHER LOVE THIS SHOW!

13. Ryan and Tatum: The O’Neals (OWN)

You can keep yer Krapdashians, and we’ll stick with the O’Neals

13. The Office (NBC)

Michael Scott left us and Dunder Mifflin on the best possible terms (the Holly proposal even rivals the early Jim & Pam courtship stuff), and the addition of James Spader has helped to soften the blow of his departure.  It all still works, even if it isn’t eggzactly the same

other solid forms of entertainments: An Idiot Abroad (we’re a year behind on this one!) Roseanne’s Nuts (who knew she’s the same off-screen as she was on it!!!), Hung (came into its own this season, only to prematurely ejaculate), Rock Center with Brian Williams (it ROCKS!), Kendra (lockout with yer cock out), Sports Show with Norm Macdonald (unjustly cancelled), Game of Thrones (even though we have zero idea what happened on the show), Real Sports With Bryant Gumbel (thoughts are endlessly provoked), Making & Selling Jeans In America (so long Rasta Monsta), Bored To Death (rarely boring), Enlightened (enlightened we), Louie (although everyone on twitter makes we want to hate it), Modern Family (it’s funnier than Louie), Gossip Girl (we gave up on it 2 years ago, returned, and it’s like we never missed an ep… cause nothing new ever happens, but who cares!), The Big C (Hugh Dancy dancyied like no one was watching), Web Therapy (Kudrow!), Shameless (the kids steal the show from H Macy), and Skins (UK, as in not the US version, obvi)

+ bone-yes moments

how does THIS get cancelled?

- Ricky Gervais should host everything.  Franco & Hathaway should only host diseases

– Todd Haynes’ Mildred Pierce was Mildred FIERCE!!!

– the list may be wrong, but 50 Documentaries To See Before You Die was 260 well worth watched minutes to debate!

– US Skins was meh, but Rachel Thevenard is not!!!

– don’t remember one minute of Too Big To Fail.  does that make it a too small and failed?

– kinda pissed that Miranda Otto & Sarah Bolger show never became a show

- Cinema Verite proved that reality bites, even at the very beginning

–  Elizabeth Hurley sexes up Gossip Girl, but Kaylee DeFer is the sexiest!!!

– Ron Swanson aside, Parks & Rec is not funny, despite what your brain and internets has been telling you

– Ken Burns’ Prohibition was bob-tastic

– wait, Oscar was orange?

– Addison Timlin made Californication semi-watchable

– Colin Hanks single-handedly stinks up an entire season Dexter, and juss stinks in general

- Whatever You Want,Think Belmont! FINALLYYYY!!!

- Entourage thankfully ends, but unthankfully with a wimper, but honestly, who cares, as shlong as it’s gone, 9ever

& fair thee well Colonel Sherman T Potter & Sherwood and of course

perv-iously

’10
’09
’07

you know the drill – we know nothing of new music (we only listened to four new releases and only liked two of them), cause we love old music, and yer probably muse-sick of hearing all this, but who flipping cares.  by the way, what is Skrillex?  by the way, who flapping cares???????  OK, without further apoo or aplomb or aplum or anapricot

You Can Call
These Al-bums!!!

Bestest Merging of Ladies
& Tron Album of The Year

Ladytron – Gravity The Seducer

[review|buy]

Bestest Music
To Drink The Kool-Aid To

Cults – Cults

[buy]

Reissue That Will Make You
Grab Lotion & Tissues

The Beach Boys – The SMiLE Sessions

[buy]

Discoveries
That Electrified Our Ovaries

Harry Nilsson – Nilsson Schmilsson

[buy]

&

Miriam Makeba – Her Essential Recordings:
The Empress of African Song

[buy]

Tunses For Toonces

‘Abducted‘ by Cults

‘And The Living Is Easy‘ by Guts

‘Don’t Play No Game That I Can’t Win‘ by The Beastie Boys featuring Santigold

‘Friday‘ by Rebecca Black

‘Immigrant Song‘ by Karen O, Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross

‘Lina Magic‘ by 3D Friends

‘Mirage‘ by Ladytron

‘Nightcall‘ - by Kavinsky featuring Lovefoxxx

‘Oh My Heart‘ by R.E.M.

‘Pata Pata‘ by Miriam Makeba

‘Sexy Boy‘ by The Fallen Angels 

‘She’s Got Nothing On (But the Radio)‘ by Roxette

‘Surf’s Up (Piano Demo)‘ by The Beach Boys

+ a biiiiiig ole bonus juss for you – a complete Harry Nillsson primer pack of greatlinessness!! cause you have no idea who he is or how greatlinessness he is/was!!!

Men of a Concert-ain Age

(old folks home edition!)

Paul Simon @ The Beacon

Brian Wilson @ The Wellmont (we shook his hand!!)

The Monkees @ The Beacon

U2 @ Ghettolands II

Crosby, Stills & Nash @ The Beacon

& the past is the passed out

’10
’09
’08
’07
’06
’05
’04
’03

and a final goodbye and a thank you for the music Mr Rob Grill, whose roots were totally grassed

see you in the future, 2012, yo!