Dawn of The Planet of The Apes
Hail & Hearty Caesar!
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 130 min

Dude, I am all about planets and apes and the’s and of’s.  So when all those things come together- BLAZZZZZZZZZZZZAMO – my eyes and ears and brain may explode!!!!!!!!  They have, and they did!!!  I am so about Planets of Apes.  I’ve seen them all – even the crappy ones – and in some ways, they are all awesome – unless Tim Burton had something to do with them.  20th Century Fox was wise to start over with the dusty and musty Apes franchise.  They did a wonderful job with started over #1 – Rise of The Planet of The Apes – giving us something old, but making it feel entirely new, although I slightly miss seeing men and women in dumb ape costumes!

Well, the old-new juss got old-newer, and iMuss say, even betterer!!!!!!!!!!!  Director Matt Reeves takes over in round 2 with Dawn of The Planet of The Apes, and everything is not only bigger – it’s even betterereeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrr.  I know I already said that, but had to say it again, so you know I’m being serious, cause I seriously love this Ape movie, cause it’s even betterererrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

Andy Serkis goes ape-sh!t again, but this time the CGI is even betterer than before, making his head ape in charge – Caesar – feel even more realer than the real thing. EAT THAT LANCELOT LINK!!!  These apes feel so real that I got like semi-emotional for them and their family problems, and like want to be their friends and stuff!  They so reals, that I may juss JO to them right now…

OK, I’m back, and so are these apes!!!!!  Trying to make peace with them are humans Jason Dark Thirty Clarke, Felicity Russell and Kodi I look like Meathead from Meatballs Part II Smit-McPhee.  And trying to make war with them are Gary Oldman and Toby Kebbell!!  BUT WILL PEACE AND WAR FIND A BALANCE WHERE MAN AND APE CAN LIVE TOGETHER ON THIS PLANET????  What do you think?  The movie aint called Planet of The Happy Go Lucky Apes & Humans.  Cause if that was the name of this movie, it would be about as exciting as that Ed movie.  But it’s EVER BETTETETEERRR THAN ED!!!!  But I’ve actually never seen Ed, but I would welcome a planet apes movie where the apes play humans in baseball – and the winner gets to own earth!!!  APE BASEBALL > VAMPIRE BASEBALL!!!

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Dawn rises big time at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

CBS Sunday Morning is the #1 show on TV ever (sorry Twin Peaks), and as for 2011…

1. Dan Le Batard Is Highly Questionable (ESPN)

It’s father’s day, every day, on the funniest show on TV, and it isn’t even a comedy.  Take a look above and tell we that that’s something you don’t want to watch DAILY.  Papi for presidente!!

2. Breaking Bad (AMC)

Every time you think things can’t get more f#%cked up, things goes beyonds more f#%cked up, and it’s f#%cking RAWsome!!!

3. Misfits (E4, England)

Losing Robert Sheehan would seem like a nail in the Misfits coffin, but that was not even close to the case with Joseph Gilgun getting mad rude as Rudy.  Each episode feels like its own season, and that’s a GREAT THING

4. Homeland (Showtime)

It’s everything 24 wasn’t – believable terrorism stuff happening on our shores, and it was all more tense than a KOA campground!!  Damian Lewis deserves to win every award he would be eligible for… and the supporting trio of Claire Danes, Mandy Patinkin and Morena Baccarin is third to none

5. American Horror Story (FX)

It broke every TV show rule, and a lot of bones AND boners.  Don’t even know how they’re gonna be able to top this debut season, but we can’t wait to see how they do it

6. Beavis & Butt-head (MTV)

Why did B&B ever go away?

7. Life’s Too Short (BBC2/HBO)

Warwick Davis plays himself, but channels show creator and co-star Ricky Gervais (think how people play the Woody Allen role in Woody Allen movies) in more cringe-inducing situations than Larry David could ever imagine… for dwarves

8. Episodes (Showtime)

They made Matt LeBlanc funny.  A feat and feast that must be seen

9. Curb Your Enthusiasm (HBO)

If you know what goes on in the pic above, you know the show hasn’t gathered even a speck of moss in its 8th, New York-centric, season

10. Ebert Presents At The Movies (PBS)

Honestly, it doesn’t matter who’s in the chair and which direction their thumbs go, it juss matters that there are chairs being sat in and thumbs being moved in a direction.  Never leave, although that may not be the case

11. Children’s Hospital (Cartoon Network)

Name a better 11 minute show on TV… ever?

12. Boardwalk Empire (HBO)

MOTHER LOVE THIS SHOW!

13. Ryan and Tatum: The O’Neals (OWN)

You can keep yer Krapdashians, and we’ll stick with the O’Neals

13. The Office (NBC)

Michael Scott left us and Dunder Mifflin on the best possible terms (the Holly proposal even rivals the early Jim & Pam courtship stuff), and the addition of James Spader has helped to soften the blow of his departure.  It all still works, even if it isn’t eggzactly the same

other solid forms of entertainments: An Idiot Abroad (we’re a year behind on this one!) Roseanne’s Nuts (who knew she’s the same off-screen as she was on it!!!), Hung (came into its own this season, only to prematurely ejaculate), Rock Center with Brian Williams (it ROCKS!), Kendra (lockout with yer cock out), Sports Show with Norm Macdonald (unjustly cancelled), Game of Thrones (even though we have zero idea what happened on the show), Real Sports With Bryant Gumbel (thoughts are endlessly provoked), Making & Selling Jeans In America (so long Rasta Monsta), Bored To Death (rarely boring), Enlightened (enlightened we), Louie (although everyone on twitter makes we want to hate it), Modern Family (it’s funnier than Louie), Gossip Girl (we gave up on it 2 years ago, returned, and it’s like we never missed an ep… cause nothing new ever happens, but who cares!), The Big C (Hugh Dancy dancyied like no one was watching), Web Therapy (Kudrow!), Shameless (the kids steal the show from H Macy), and Skins (UK, as in not the US version, obvi)

+ bone-yes moments

how does THIS get cancelled?

- Ricky Gervais should host everything.  Franco & Hathaway should only host diseases

– Todd Haynes’ Mildred Pierce was Mildred FIERCE!!!

– the list may be wrong, but 50 Documentaries To See Before You Die was 260 well worth watched minutes to debate!

– US Skins was meh, but Rachel Thevenard is not!!!

– don’t remember one minute of Too Big To Fail.  does that make it a too small and failed?

– kinda pissed that Miranda Otto & Sarah Bolger show never became a show

- Cinema Verite proved that reality bites, even at the very beginning

–  Elizabeth Hurley sexes up Gossip Girl, but Kaylee DeFer is the sexiest!!!

– Ron Swanson aside, Parks & Rec is not funny, despite what your brain and internets has been telling you

– Ken Burns’ Prohibition was bob-tastic

– wait, Oscar was orange?

– Addison Timlin made Californication semi-watchable

– Colin Hanks single-handedly stinks up an entire season Dexter, and juss stinks in general

- Whatever You Want,Think Belmont! FINALLYYYY!!!

- Entourage thankfully ends, but unthankfully with a wimper, but honestly, who cares, as shlong as it’s gone, 9ever

& fair thee well Colonel Sherman T Potter & Sherwood and of course

perv-iously

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