unpuiblished LIFE magazine photos of a then-unknown actress Marilyn Monroe, 21, with Clifton Webb and Laurette Luez on the set of the 1948 comedy, Sitting Pretty

for the annual Bloomington, Indiana trip, the crew tried something a little different – visit at a time when our ballz won’t freeze, and lemme tell you, it was MARVVVVELOUS!!!!!!!

and empty!!! (I actually played ball there!)

and scenic with a ‘K’, like skenik! (don’t tell anyone we were on the roof)

and there were signs!

in neon too!

and cheap fried things!

and learning!

and 80s Star Wars – in German!!

and dudes with snakes on their neck!!

and MUST-staches!!!!

and dudes juss as cool w/o staches!!!

and bears with boobs that are hot, and off-putting at the same time

and great times, and even greater food

can you smell the farts?

CAN YOU???

you can’t do better than this America!

yep, I filled them holes

and yep, grease is the word, and grease poured out of my butt

bacon anyone?

and Long Island Iced Tea anyone?  warning – you should not drink this, unless you’re a college student and looking to black out in 10 minutes

and yep, the Nats represent everywhere

and Mark Cuban never forgets life before sharks and tanks and being a rich douche

https://instagram.com/p/6az1pfm35T/?taken-by=thighmaster

you’re #1, we’re all #1!!

like what you see?

https://instagram.com/p/6bU05sm35t/

and so concludes #RanchFarts2015

–

previously…

2014 – The Union Forever

2013 - Thighwalker Ranch Farts

2012 - Unhidden Valley Ranch Farts

2011 - Ranch DuBois

2011 - #RanchFarts2011

2009 - Herman B. Wells That Ends Well

2008 - Ranch Sauce Farts Part 6 Meets Police Academy Part 6

2008 - Bloomingtales

2007 - Village (Pantry) Idiot

2006 - College of Arts & SciencesCollage of Farts & Appliances

who needs Coca-Cola when there was Koca Nola!

KOCA NOLA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this might be the most American photo of all time!!!!!!!!!!!

Driver Richard Petty holds a baseball, hot dog and apple pie as he announces he’ll be driving a Chevrolet after the Coca-cola 500 on July 30, 1978 at the Pocono International Speedway in Long Pond, Pennsylvania

Colorado, you too good to me & we (wife and me)!!

We came for the food, and wine

and to watch people be alcoholics 

and see new chefs and people with bobs

and pause for the claws

and eat out of tin pans like orphans

and try to avoid having a heart-attack 

and get fatter by juss looking at food

and question other food, as in, ‘is this food?‘

     

and eat the local candies

and check out one of America’s more faaancy looking Maccy D’s

and visit THE original Chipotle!!

but it wasn’t juss about eating!

it was also about recycling!!

and the stars!  and bothering them!!!

John Salley is so tall & friendly & tall!!

and the Jacques Pépin was m-mightier then the sw-sword!!

and da Iron Chef, getting frisky with my Iron Curtained honey

and Ryan Zimmerman and Jordan Zimmermann’s brother Andrew Zimmern

and Canadian Jew Gail Simmons!

and yer looking at the new hosts of NBC’s The Today Show – Sara Palan, Justin Chapple, Tamron Hall and Me

and Pink!  who had pink hair!

and this guy who isn’t famous, but famous to we cause he gave us 23891239123939 pairs of shades

 

and my new BFF – Drew Barrymore

but but but but

Colorado aint really about all the above

it’s about the mountains

THOSE FCUKING AMAZING MOUNTAINS!!! (and rocks!)

  

 

 

 

and a zillion other amazinnnnnnnnnnng views

like the one at Coors Field (AWESOME STADIUM!!)

and the Jurassic Best Western

AND RED ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

where I’ve always wanted to go ever since I grew up red-rocking out to this

and I did!

place is UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so jealous people get to see concerts here (and exercise)

and then there was the Mile Hi Church

 

look familiar?

 

yep

my only regret?  (besides not living in Colorado?)

not being at Coors Field for yarmulke night

NEXT TIME!!!!