Claw & Disorder
27. Dec, 2017 
0 Comments
Woody Allen vs the lobster, on the set of 1977’s Annie Hall. photos by Brian Hamill
Tag Archives: Woody Allen
Woody Allen & the Eddy Davis New Orleans Jazz Band
Social-Light
10. Aug, 2016 0 Comments
Café Society
Cup Half Empty
Official Site | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 96 min
There’s something to Woody Allen‘s latest entry – Café Society – but also, there’s not much to it. You watch it and you go – hey, I’d love to be there, in that time period and in those fabulous places, with those endlessly beautifully sun-drenched lit scenes, and down some of those lush-looking drinks, and take a puff from those slow smoking c-gars! This is like the gilded version of his 1999 film Sweet and Lowdown (one of my favorite modern Woody pics) – but somehow, his new jaunt is devoid of heart, soul and humor
It’s not the fault of our characters. We like them, and we want to watch them do things. There’s something to Jesse Eisenberg (playing the Woody role) chasing Kristen Stewart round ole Hollywood, but there’s not much to the chase. There’s something to Jesse’s uncle Steve Carell, but not really anything to him, and the same goes to his uncle’s friends Parker Posey & Paul Schneider, and Eisenberg and his uncle’s kinfolk – Corey Stoll (all gangster schtick, zero personality), Sari Lennick (as if she just walked off the set of A Serious Man and right onto Society‘s set!), Stephen Kunken, Ken Stott and Jeannie Berlin. There’s even something about Blake Lively, when usually there’s nothing to her except her body. We want to spend time with these people, but not really given any good reason to, or to fully care about what happens to them
Well, there was one thing that was a thing – but it was more personal. Jesse falls for a girl, and then another with the same first name. This happened to me, although unlike in the movie, I didn’t continue to pine for the 1st girl, while the 2nd girl became my wife!!
Anywho, it was a decent try Woody. You have a nice looking Café, with a nice set of drinkers, but there’s not much niceties to your Society at all. See you next summer!
Verdictgo: Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badgers
Café is juss OK at a theater near jews
and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…
#Wienning
15. Jan, 2016 0 Comments
we way no longer Hungray, and totally Czeched out of Krtekland, and it was off to our final destination in our European holiday…
Vienna
first thing first, Vienna is actually named Wien, as in hot dog Wieners
or as in Wienerschnitzel (the city is HOME to it, duh)
but not as in Tafelspitz or Mark Spitz
wonder if they have an AM radio station called 1010 Wiens. anywho, Wien is in Austria, which shouldn’t be confused with Australia
and it never would, with such an awesome language in use like German!
although ‘Gloria’ is a beautiful song in ANY language
but not sure what Chuck sauce is like in any language
but pizza in every language is ‘pizza’ (although we didn’t have pizza in Europe, cause why would we??)
cause when in Wien, do as the Wieners do – #Wienning
and talk to random German and Swiss dudes
and kiss yer wife, cause you can’t stand how beautiful she is
and pick on someone not your own size
and be like The Third Man and ride that ye olde Ferris Wheel
and know nose where to find one of your favorite painter’s work! BLESS YOU GIUSEPPE ARCIMBOLDO!!!!!!!!
now Wien doesn’t have Eastern European charm like Hungary and Czech Repub do, but Austria never had to deal with all that standing in line for bread and sharing stuff. it remained a cosmopolitan place, for centuries, and remains so
where they have palatial palaces!!!
with selfie points – how modern!
round we go!
too even more schmancy cafés!
and to one of the most unique structures I’ve ever seen – KunstHausWien – a museum created by the artist himself – Friedensreich Hundertwasser!!!!!!!!!
tiley smilerus!
even the bathrooms are funky fresh!
and he also designed other buildings that aren’t his own museumz!!!
like the Hundertwasserhaus
it’s like a Smurf village for humans!!
but everything we did wasn’t juss fatrsy artsy culture stuff
of course we hit up grocery stores to see what was a brewin’
although we actually did try this – Almdudler – which is basically Austrian ginger ale – and once bitten, forever smitten
and apparently gefilte aint just for fishes. it’s a thing, but I guess they go with the less Jewish ‘gefüllte’ which translates to ‘stuffed’. but however it’s spelled, I’m g’scared of anything gefilted/gefüllted
then it was off to check out the famous Naschmarkt
where there’s kraut by the barrel!!!
oh, you think we forgot to go to McDonalds, and McLook at their McMenü?
or miss seeing the Doc Brown Opera – 88 Meilen pro Stunde????
so long Austria, and Europe – never lose that old world Epcot charm, or the MUSTaches
Wild Man Best
15. Dec, 2015 0 Comments
Woody Allen & the Eddy Davis New Orleans Jazz Band
Café Carlyle
December 14th
Sometimes you have to make your own New York dreams come true, and sometimes that means taking a Brinks truck to your bank, and unloading your savings account to see Woody Allen play the clarinet with his jazz buddies, at one of his Monday shows at the chez shwanky Café Carlyle. You know this place was crazy chezy swanky cause there’s a ‘é’ in the venue’s name
And????????????? It was worth EVERY penny (although the money you’re additional forced to spend on food would have been better used for 26 trips to Wendy’s, although the shrimp cocktail was off the heeeeezy) – to sit in a VERY intimate room (a napkin’s toss away from the Woodman, at any seat) and listen to the 80 year old geezer kick the jazzy ballistics
It’s a once in a lifetime experience you should experience if a) you love Woody and b) love the music often featured in his movies and c) want to sit in a room with Woody Allen
May he live to be 80000000000000000!!!!!!!!!!!!
Defying Deaths
29. Jun, 2015 0 Comments
Peace The Forks Out
to
The Other Dick Van
&
Jerry’s Wife/Ben’s Mom/Anne Meara
&
THE John Steed
+
his mind was beautiful
Manson Family divorcer
little James Horner
oh no Yes
Fred Flinstone’s boss + other Hanna Barberians
plastic pink flamingo dude
last original NBA employee
Ornette Coleman
Mother Theresa II
the voice of the Chiquita Banana
THAT GUY
that other that guy
that other that that guy
a true dingbat of fonts
realllllly old movie gangster
Nature Boy
the first student-athlete
he hearted heart-shaped bathtubs
Tariq Aziz, who made berets & mustaches & giant glasses look awesome
she made costumes for the Beatles & Bond
F Scott Fitzgerald’s final secretary
King of Easy Listening
Picasso’s right arm
not Ringo’s sister
little boy who got to look at MM
Mr Comcast
El Kickador/Univision-er
a Weaver
Woody Allen’s Jack Rollins
Texas A&M’s first Heisman winner
some surfer pioneer guy
some country singer
boxing movie producer dude
U2’s manager
this spicy Italian chick
Queen of Versailles’s princess
Joe Biden’s son
Charles Barkley’s mom
Penelope Cruz’s padre
Jason Voorhees’ mom
he once owned the Mets (not the Nats do:)
some comedy writer
some British actor who turned down the role of James Bond
some Russian guy
some chess guy
some Scottish actor
some fat British bloke
the guy who gave us this
a King of media
a White House Chef
MGM Resorter
what a drag
zilla was his god
Stand By Me‘s Milo Pressman
he printed LA stories
a trotter of globes
some old actor
she shot this and that and those other things
Mr Superdawg
150 year old Galápagos tortoise
world’s tallest cow
&
the guy who made headlines
Thighs Wide Shirts!!
007
Andy Rooney
Animated Gifs
Back To The Future
Batman
beard
Bitched At Swirth
Blur
boobs
Borat
Breast In Show
Camilla Belle
Clockwork Orange
Coney Island
Cuthbert
Dakota Fanning
Damon Albarn
David Lynch
Disney
fap
Flight of the Conchords
Gorillaz
Hitchcock
India Reynolds
James Bond
Jeepers Worth A Peepers
Jennifer Ellison
Kubrick
Lindsay Lohan
Lucy Pinder
McDonalds
Mischa Barton
museum
mustache
Nintendo
Redskins
Slit Your Eyes Out Repoopulous
Stanley Kubrick
Subway
Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges
Terps
The Shining
The White Stripes
Twin Peaks
YTMND
Music To Our Peers
Shirts by My Man Marvkus
