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GREAT SCOTT!!!!

Prometheus
On and Off The Origin of The Specieses
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 124 min

Dude, what’s your problem with Ridley Scott‘s Peromoutheosues?  Why do you have beef when this movie is all filet mignon-and-on-and-on til the break-a-break-a-dawn?  This is how quasi-prequels should be made!!!  This is what they should look like.  This is how they should be acted in like.  No cheese, all ruling.  Seriously, what didn’t you like about the best sci-fi movie of the 2000s, and Scott’s biggest and bestest since freaking Blade Runner?  What didn’t meat yer eggspectations?  This movie answers THE question to end began all questions of how we began, and how Alien began!!!!!  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And the movie has theseses!!!!

a not as strong-willed girl with probably zero tattoos who used to be a strong-willed girl with a dragon tattoo!!!!

every woman AND man’s dream – a robot Michael Fassbender who does whatever you want it to do!!!

the opposite of finding Texas Tea/black gold!!

spaceships that look like rotten cashews!!!

SORTA FACE ON MARS THING!!!

batshit crazy rich old white dudes!!

Ryan Atwood’s skeezy brother!!

alien masks almost more alien than this helmet!!

bobbed in space!

this surly a$$hole guy who always plays surly a$$holes!!!

space vomit!

better use of Charzlizezeze Therzon in tight future clothings!!!

speaking of, Leeloo-lish clothings for space hibernating hotties!

&

[spoilerish alert!!!….]

the grossest of gross that could possibly happen to a woman’s tummy!!!!!!

moral of the story – IT’S A PREQUEL THAT’S THE OPPOSITE OF SUCKS/STAR WARS EPISODES I – III!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Prometheus is currently lighting fires at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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Nikki Sixxxxx Annual Thighs Wide Fooball Pee View

sorry kids, we normally dedicate our NFL season predictions and photoshop nightmares to two posts, but we’re on vacation, with little time and no access to photshop, so this thing is gonna be semi-half-assed.  apologies, but not really, cause if yer getting yer NFL predications from Thighland, yer obviously not a golfer

NFC

NFC EAST

It’s hard to pick a team that we love to hate cause they’ve never won a Super Bowl (HAAAA HAAAA!!!) and employ a dog killer, but The Eagles (14-2) should have little problem taking care of the over-injured Giants (8-8), the Garrett-topped Cowboys (7-9) or the ready to not be a disaster, but may be a disaster Redskins (7-9).  While we hope that doesn’t happen, we do hope that the Giants do well enuff to continue to keep ole man Coughlin as their joke, we mean coach, and Eli Manning as their joke, we mean QB

NFC NORTH

A lot of folks are high on Matty Stats and the Lions (4-12) this year, but wethinks these peoples forgots that they’re the Lions and Barry Sanders would rather retire with much gas left in the tank than play for that franchise.  The Vikings (5-11) won’t be that much better off with McScabb leading the charge, but stranger things have happened… like his ability to sometimes NOT throw passes into the ground.  How much longer will the Cutler diabetes experiment last in Bears (8-8) land?  Probably about as long as his engagement.  If The Packers (11-5) can’t win the division, well, then they don’t deserve to win jack sh#t.  But they have Jesus in a helmet and you don’t f$@k with the Jesus… in a helmet

NFC SOUTH

The South is where it’s at.  It’s kinda like what the NFC Beast used to be, but with warmer locales and smaller TV audiences.  But the limelight matters not to the division that will send its champ, The Saints (12-4), and two Wild Cards, The Falcons (11-5) and The Bucs (8-8), to the pay-offs.  That leaves The Panthers (2-14) to wallow in their own Cam Newton poop, which will be like the second-coming of that other roar-less Auburn Tiger, Jason Campbell.  Lets say the Panthers were the most stacked team in the league.  Even if they were, we’d still pick them to finish last.  That’s what they and their horrid jerseys and color scheme deserve

NFC WEST

Someone has to win this, right?  Aint gonna be the Tarvar-is-not Jackson led Seahawks (5-11), the we got Andrew Luck’s coach and will want the actual Andrew Luck next year, we wish you luck 49ers (4-12), and shockingly, not the Brads/Spags Rams (4-12).  It’s all about Kolb, who will be hotttttb and his Cardinals (9-7) will sorta look like the team that was in the Super Bowl a few years back.  Maybe.  Either way, we pray Kolb’s lady of interest doesn’t look like Kurt Warner’s wife

Seeds:
#1 Iggles
#2 Nawlins
#3 Pack Attack
#4 Zona
#5 Falcunts
#6 Bucsssxxx

NFC Champs: Philly will go far, but New Orleans will show them that hurricanes are more sympathetic and less pathetic than redeemed dog killers

AFC

AFC EAST

The Jets (7-9) can walk the walk, but they’re too much talk, and Dirty Sanchez’ dirty diaper smelling play will have em crawling back to mediocre-ville.  Plaxico won’t add a shot in the arm, but more shots in the pants.  BANG!  SNAP!!  The Dolphins (4-12) will not sirprize, but thinking the Bills (8-8) might, which will make the Buffalo Jills and their fans’ nipples hard.  Just thinking about it is making our nipples hard!  That leave the Patriots (12-4) to do what the Patriots do, win a lot, making Boston fans even more annoying, and making the rest of us even more annoyed at the annoyingness abound

AFC NORTH

We predict that the North will be the tightest division in the NFL this year.  Punching bags like the Browns (8-8) and Bengals (8-8) will end up being punchy instead of punch-lines.  We know, that sounds recockolous, but then again, so does naming a planet Uranus.  And yet Baltimore (9-7) and the Steelers (9-7) will remain the belles of this ball, and both will return to the playoffs… where the Ravens will still be unable to get past the Burgh.  Speaking of, the Eagles fans may be the worst, but the Steelers fans are the lamest.  All of them became fair weather fans in the 70s and now there’s a new generation of them after their past decade of goodness.  Them losing the Super Bowl was one of the best things to happen.  Moral? Rape never wins

AFC SOUTH

The giant question mark that is Peyton Manning’s health, and thus making a possible Manning-less Colts (8-8) dolts could make this division a little less snoozy-Q than usual.  Will this finally be the year when the doors go thighs wide open for the Texans (10-6)?  Yes!  If not, it’s time to rename them the Oilers and spread the derricks everywhere like it was Bayside High.  The Jaguars (5-11) and The Titans (4-12) will do nothing that anyone will remember, so don’t try and remember the Titans or the Jaguars, just the Alamo and WENN

AFC WEST

Hate this division, so they get the least of our choice words –  The Chargers (11-5) will bolt to the top of the division again, but the Raiders (8-8) won’t be as far behind as you think!  That leaves the Chiefs (7-9) and Broncos (4-12) to wonder what if… what if Norv Turner ever used Accutane???

Seeds:
#1 Pats me balls
#2 Chargerzz
#3 Texans, Houstons
#4 The Burgh
#5 Ravens, Nevermore
#6 Derrrr Raiders?????  why not

AFC Champs: in a total snooze-fest, Omar Epps will have his Steeler boys ready and able to take out Norv and his perennial playoff loser Bolts

Super Bowl: New Orleans 31, Pittsburgh 21

Super Bowl MVP: Drew Brees, again

Fantasy Outlook Shazz

Wees Loves (besides the obvious ones): Tim Hightower, Jimmy Graham, Kyle Orton, Reggie Wayne (he’ll still do damage, regardless of who his QB is), the Ravens D (soft schedule) and Nate Keading (duh)

Wees Hates He: Jets offense, Matt Forte, whoever the Saints’ kicker is, Giants D (whatever’s left of them), Sam Bradford and Percy Harvin

Don’t Sleep On These Sleepers From Sleepy’s: AJ Green, Greg Little, Beanie Wells, Chris Cooley, and Cool Chrissie

We Plead The Fifth On Our Annual Thighs Wide Fooball Pee View: NFC Edish
We Plead The Fifth On Our Annual Thighs Wide Fooball Pee View: AFC Edish

Queer As Fourth Annual Thighs Wide Fooball Pee View: NFC Edish
Queer As Fourth Annual Thighs Wide Fooball Pee View: AFC Edish

Third Annual Thighs Wide Fooball Pee View: NFC Edish
Third Annual Thighs Wide Fooball Pee View: AFC Edish

Sec-unt Annual Thighs Wide Fooball Pee View: NFC Edish
Sec-unt Annual Thighs Wide Fooball Pee View: AFC Edish

First Annual Thighs Wide Fooball Pee View: NFC Edish
First Annual Thighs Wide Fooball Pee View: AFC Edish

and juss cause…

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