Sec-unt Annual Thighs Wide Fooball Pee View: AFC Edish


How do you top an NFC preview with Megan Good in a Hooters outfit? You don’t, hispecially when we’ve already Addaied Another Day and Ted Koppled a Feel, so that’s why we went with another Megan Good in Hooters outfit image. Enjoy!

AFC East


While the Bills, Fins and Jets will look for scapegoats when their seasons end after week 17, the New Englanders will be pleased as punch with their posse of Patsies, namely the overload of weapons they have at wide out. If Randy Moss gets his shiz together, Reche Caldwell & Jennifer Willbanks won’t be the only ones with their eyes a buggin’. And since the Pats have long erased the pain of their ye olde losing days and ways, is there any reason for them NOT to bring back the pimpin Pat Patriot logo and bright red jerseys? Some might say, best helmets and jersey combo mt EVERest!! Rumor has it that the change to the the ‘Flying Elvis’ logo made company buyer Victor Kiam buy the farm

Boo-nus link: Brady bunch mother Bridget Moynahan making out with Heather Graham

AFC North


Seriously, I’m gonna look into marrying this division. It’s the coolest of the cool, and even cooler than The Cooler icing his balls in a Coleman cooler whilst drinking box after box of Hi-C’s klassic Ecto-Cooler with Kool Moe Dee. Now that the Ravens and the Steelers have both kissed the Vince Lombardi Trophy in the aughties, I think it’s time for the Paul Brown boys from Ohio to get a shot. The Bengals have been to the big dance semi sorta not so recently, but they got bungled by the 49ers both times. They have a shot to get there this year, but yer tellin me that you would rather see them there then dem Browns? The Dawgs Pounders, the Lions, Saints and the Cards (yes, we’re purposely leaving Jacksonville and the Texans off that list) are still the only teams to never bask in that Super glory. If the Browns really want to winn, think Quinn, early and often… which shouldn’t be confused with Quinn Early

Boo-nus link: only the master da baters in the know, know that slapping off to Mustard Man is best done wit Clevtown’s Stadium Mustard

AFC South


This division could easily be nicknamed ‘The New Kids on the Blecch’. Besides the well oiled machine that is the Colts (not to be confused with the WLAF team the Montreal Machine), the other three teams are a bigger crapshoot than filming a music video for Triumph the Comic Insult Dog (get it? didn’t think so u bumskulls). I mean, do the names Vince Young, David Garrard and Matt Schaub make anyone’s timbers shivered? Eye for one hactually think that Schaub has a darn good chance to turn the stalled David Carred franchise into a winner, but if the losing tradition continues for the Texans, he may being working at Charles Schwab faster than you can say ‘A Squabble for a Squab

Boo-nus link: we all knew that Peyto was hilarious, but married? Meet Mrs Manning, courtesy of the world’s mos popular magazine, Indianapolis Woman Magazine

AFC West


The wisenheimer, and possibly ex-Kuppenheimer suit wearer, Marty Schottenheimer is gone from the Chargers sideline, and in his place is a proven loser, Norv Turner, who probably has the wurstest skin this side of Noriega burning his face on a waffle iron. But does it really matter who’s running that ship when LT opens the TD flood gates and Antonio Gates eats BLTs and farts home the bacons?!?! I don’t really understand what I just wrote, but I think it roughly translates into dem easily winning the division over such tom and chuck foolery/woolery that be the dull Cutlery of the Broncos, the not so hard knockin Chiefs and the cracked Magic Art Shell that be da Raiders. This west is about is wild as attending an Escape Club concert

Boo-nus link: shiz was mad wild in my middle school days at Julius West, hispecially when everyone had a crush on the girl who was more adorablerer than early 90s Winona Ryder, which resulted years later in a harold minor world internets sensation

Seeds:
#1 Pats
#2 Colts
#3 Chargers
#4 Bengals
#5 Steelers
#6 Texans

AFC Champs: Chargers

Super Bowl Winner: Chargers over the Saints

Fantasy Outlook AFC Shazz

Me loves: Philip Rivers, Rudi Johnson, Lee Evans, Owen Daniels, Matt Stover and the Colts D

Me hates: Vince Young, Thomas Jones, Hines Ward (although I love him as a man), Dallas Clark and any D that gets picked before the 2nd to last round

Don’t sleep on these sleepers from Sleepy’s: any Texan, LenDale White, Brandon Marshall, Heath Miller, the Bills D and the Bogie/Bacall joint, The Big Sleep

In Tessa we toss

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