Thighs Wide Shut

Prometheus
On and Off The Origin of The Specieses
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 124 min

Dude, what’s your problem with Ridley Scott‘s Peromoutheosues?  Why do you have beef when this movie is all filet mignon-and-on-and-on til the break-a-break-a-dawn?  This is how quasi-prequels should be made!!!  This is what they should look like.  This is how they should be acted in like.  No cheese, all ruling.  Seriously, what didn’t you like about the best sci-fi movie of the 2000s, and Scott’s biggest and bestest since freaking Blade Runner?  What didn’t meat yer eggspectations?  This movie answers THE question to end began all questions of how we began, and how Alien began!!!!!  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And the movie has theseses!!!!

a not as strong-willed girl with probably zero tattoos who used to be a strong-willed girl with a dragon tattoo!!!!

every woman AND man’s dream – a robot Michael Fassbender who does whatever you want it to do!!!

the opposite of finding Texas Tea/black gold!!

spaceships that look like rotten cashews!!!

SORTA FACE ON MARS THING!!!

batshit crazy rich old white dudes!!

Ryan Atwood’s skeezy brother!!

alien masks almost more alien than this helmet!!

bobbed in space!

this surly a$$hole guy who always plays surly a$$holes!!!

space vomit!

better use of Charzlizezeze Therzon in tight future clothings!!!

speaking of, Leeloo-lish clothings for space hibernating hotties!

&

[spoilerish alert!!!….]

the grossest of gross that could possibly happen to a woman’s tummy!!!!!!

moral of the story – IT’S A PREQUEL THAT’S THE OPPOSITE OF SUCKS/STAR WARS EPISODES I – III!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Prometheus is currently lighting fires at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

we were here

and we wish you were too

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this list is life

and farts!

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this picture should hang at the MoMA

this ranch sauce should
be served everywhere

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leftovers?  not bloody likely

indigestion?  bloody likely

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hollandaise holiday sauce

black gold, Bloomington tea

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this is our brains on college

any questions?

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biz sinking at Nick’s
is always mandatory

woman in the background was shocked that we were able to
capture the pour in mid-flight

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blue drinks for all!

good tasting drinks for none!

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rough nite for somebody

but sometimes a necessary evil

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and now for the ‘cultural’
part of our tour

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Zells yeah!!!

fighting Illini? more like losing Illini!!!

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if you can read these
you don’t need glasses

and probably also have a tiny penis

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IU Cinema is a bestestestest

and so was seeing the Cary Grant / Katherine Hepburn comedy Holiday

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we’d follow the RHCP cover band
Funky Monks practically anywhere…

…there’s 8 cent beer
and 18 year old women

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????

does not compute

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America, where everything’s bigger, not necessarily better

you lighters up our lives

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boob grab!!!

but the question is, real boobs???

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LOL!!!!

LOL!!!! continued

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looking for ranch farts from years past?  YOU GOT IT!!!