a mask not useful or appropriate for these Covidien times, or for any time

NFL HELMET CARTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

BRING THEM BACK!!!

MVP Berry Sanders by Poster Boy

here’s the original photo…

Detroit Lions running back Barry Sanders, left, makes his move past Washington Redskins safety Jesse Campbell, right, during first half action at Jack Kent Cooke Stadium in Landover, Maryland, Sunday, November 9, 1997

Peace The Forks Out

to

Garry Marshall

&

The Hunter of Deer

&

Elie Wiesel

&

Mr Killing Fields

+

Abbas Kiarostami

the DB Cooper investigation

Nate Thurmond

he kissed spider women

the boss of bosses

Warhol factory photog

straight up punk

the first Lois Lane

Mr Nine West

THE GUY WHO GAVE US THE WICKER MAN!

he was ENTERPRISE-ing

a Prime Minister of France

Pakistan’s Mother Teresa

Eagles player and coach

he was straight up Loonie

Minni miracle man

he-sealed-it

Elvis Presley guitarist

he swam in gene pools

he messed with Howe

he was in The Mummy

Tom Hanks’ mom

Mickey Rooney’s son

she wrote Rebecca 2

she helped books

he owned Baltimore’s Studio 54

NYU’s 13th prez

Spumoni Gardens owner

he raced with Newman’s own

some film processing guy

some country singer

some SNL director

some DJ

some lawyer

some British comedienne

some historian

some actor

some other actor

some other other actor

some other other other actor

some other other other other actor

some Romanian actor

some Senator

some SoCal writer

some Hungarian writer

&

Chief Zee

we are beyond unprepared for this upcoming NFL season. probably has something to do with being distracted by the NatsBatsStats and bobs, but that aint gonna stop us from making half-assed guesses as to what’s going to happen in the NFL this year!!!!

NFC

Washington Redskins start training. Washington, DC August 28th, 1937  [via LoC]

NFC EAST

We can no longer doubt the greatness of the Giants (9-7), who have been to the Super Bowl 3 times since 2001, and won it all twice.  Doesn’t mean we have to like it, or them, and we never will, and they will once again reign ‘supreme’ in the NFC Least again, leaving the Vick pricked Eagles (8-8) and lame-o Romo-ed Cowboys (8-8) to be less awful than the RGIIIed Redskins (5-11). When does RGIV happen?

NFC NORTH

The North is where all the hot NFC action will be this fall, and the Lions (11-5) will be the hottiest, roaring their way to a division crown for the first time since 1993. Yep, the Wayne Fontes era!!! The reunited hothead combo of Cutler & Marshall will push the Bears (9-7) into the playoffs, while the Packers (9-7) and Vikings (8-8) get close, but no cigars in vaginas

NFC SOUTH

The Saints (10-6) won’t be beheading anyone this fall, but they will be using Bounty paper towels to quicker pick themselves up and win the division, again. Boringzzzz. Well, nothing’s more boring than the Falcons (8-8), but instead of losing in the 1st round of the playoffs, as per usual, they won’t make it in at all, paving the way for Cam Newton & the Panthers (9-7) to bring the most excitement to Charlotte since they got light rail. Oh, and the Bucs (6-10) will sux

NFC WEST

These aren’t your Bill Walsh 49ers (10-6), but even if they were your Steve Mariucci 49ers, they would still have no problem keeping the dregs of the NFL, the Seahawks (7-9), Cardinals (6-10) & Rams (4-12), dreg-legged

Seeds:
#1 Lions
#2 49ers
#3 Saints
#4 Giants
#5 Bears
#6 Panthers

NFC Champs: the 49ers will top the Lions(!!!!!!!!!!), and Wayne Fontes will order Take Out fonts

AFC

AFC EAST

Apparently if you’re a team from Miami with a reality show, your team is not very good. Sorry Dolphins (5-11), maybe some other year, like never. The Jets (8-8) have their own reality show, but it’s actual reality, and no one wants to watch it.  The Bills (10-6) will make the Jills cheer a lot, but the Patriots (13-3) are the Patriots and so the Patriots will be the Patriots

AFC NORTH

How are the Browns (3-13) ever going to compete with the Ravens (8-8), Steelers (9-7) or even the Bengals (8-8)?  They won’t, and remain one of 4 teams to never make it to the Super Bowl. America has a lot of problems, and this is the biggest one of them allszz!!!

AFC SOUTH

Colts (6-10) no longer have to suck for Luck, as they will mostly suck with Luck, at least this year, but then again, maybe they won’t. But they probably will, which will once again leave the keys to the division in the hands of the Texans (10-6), while the Blabber Gabberted Jaguars (5-11) and meat Lockered Titans (7-9) make minor blips on a radar no one’s monitoring

AFC WEST

How is Norv Turner still the coach of the Chargers (8-8)? Will this finally be the year he breaks through… back into the unemployment line???? Yes, as the competition is as stiff as Peyton’s neck in a Broncos (8-8) helmet, while the Chiefs (9-7) and Raiders (11-5), yes RAIDERS, take over as top dawgs

Seeds:
#1 Patsies
#2 Raiders
#3 Texans Toast
#4 Steelers
#5 Bill$
#6 Chiefs

AFC Champs: Patriots are the Patriots, but that’s not enuff, as the Texans will be saying, ‘Houston, we DON’T have a problem!’

Super Bowl: San Francisco 28, Houston 24

Super Bowl MVP: Randy Moss???????? stranger things have happened, AND THEY WILL!!!!!!!!!!

perv-iously

Nikki Sixxxxx Annual Thighs Wide Fooball Pee View

We Plead The Fifth On Our Annual Thighs Wide Fooball Pee View: NFC Edish
We Plead The Fifth On Our Annual Thighs Wide Fooball Pee View: AFC Edish

Queer As Fourth Annual Thighs Wide Fooball Pee View: NFC Edish
Queer As Fourth Annual Thighs Wide Fooball Pee View: AFC Edish

Third Annual Thighs Wide Fooball Pee View: NFC Edish
Third Annual Thighs Wide Fooball Pee View: AFC Edish

Sec-unt Annual Thighs Wide Fooball Pee View: NFC Edish
Sec-unt Annual Thighs Wide Fooball Pee View: AFC Edish

First Annual Thighs Wide Fooball Pee View: NFC Edish
First Annual Thighs Wide Fooball Pee View: AFC Edish

&

normally this space is reserved for Meaaagggaaan Gooooddde Hooters pics, but we ran out of them, and since there’s now a faux Tessa SeaGal (in place of THE REAL ONE), here’s our new flavroite SeaGal

Brita!!!!