Marine mascot, December 1, 1923

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2
Yawns Will Never Be Brokens!!!!!!!!!
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 115 min

IT’S OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Spank god.  What a crap saga that there was.  Hope the girls really really really enjoyed it, cause everyone else with eyes and ears and any bit of sense knows that this was one giant waste of everything.  EVEN THE CREDITS WERE A WASTE OF CREDITS!!!!!!!!  How did I see every single one of these movies?  HOW!?!?!?!?  OK, we’ll admit that the first one was kinda fun, mainly cause there was…

VAMPIRE BASEBALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

but after Twilight 1, there was no more vampire baseball, and therefore no reason to care.  well, besides gawking at how hot Ashley & Jackson is were

we would rathBONE both of them, at the same time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  who wouldn’t?!????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????????!!!??!

oh, so what about Breaking Yawn 2?  There were like Russian communist vampires and Irish vampires with worser Irish accents than the president of the Irish Spring Soap Company LLC LTD.  There are also like Amazon vampires, and like Arab vampires, and they’ve come from all corners of the world to help Bella (why does everyone and their mother and their mother and their mother have to help her?  WHO CARES ABOUT BELLA!?!?!??!  IF YOU LET HER DIE EVERYTHING WOULD BE FINE!!!) and Edward’s daughter Renesmiameassance festival live and not die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Who wants her dead?  Oh, the Voltrons of Vatican Vampire City, who are led by Michael Sheen, who is so campy that he’s opening a summer camp of campy, but it’s nowhere near as campy or queer or awesomes as the summer campy camper van beethoven he brought in TRON 2

THIS JUST IN – TRON 2 WAS FCUKING AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this earth is so wrong that there’s like 9 Twilight movies and only 2 TRON movies!!!!!!!!!

Verdictgo: who cares, cause no vampire baseball = not worth rating

Twilight IS OVER, at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Vin & Tommy

both born in 1927, both still with us.  what a wonderful world

artist Art Spiegelman‘s stained-glass mural overlooking the cafeteria of his alma mater – the High School of Art & Design 

the mural shows how an artist develops over time. ‘As students and faculty walk through the high school corridor that overlooks the cafeteria, they can see and be seen, moving back and forth between yesterday and tomorrow in a work about work.  My obsessive interest in cartooning was nurtured at the High School of Art and Design, and when a chance came to return the favor for new generations of students, I leaped at it through this window,’ says Spiegelman, HSAD class of 1965

The Life of Pi
Not About My Thanksgiving
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG | 127 min

So there’s this Yann Martel book that I used to see people reading, and judging a book by its cover, I had zero idea of what it was about, besides maybe being about a cartoon tiger in a boat.  GUESS WHAT??????  That’s what Life of Pi is about!!!  But instead of a cartoon tiger, he’s an awesome CGI tiger and his name is Richard Parker!  Why is he named that?  Who cares!  He’s a tiger, IN A BOAT!!!!!  Why is he in a boat?  Cause the guy named Pi (Suraj Sharma in flasbacks, and the always delightful Irrfan Khan as the adult version)’s dad had a zoo, but then he couldn’t afford the zoo, so he said forget about the zoo, and him and his family were all about going to Canada via a ship, but sh!t got fcuked up and Pi ended up in a small boat with the tiger!!!!

Ang Lee‘s movie is like Lifeboat meets Castaway meets The Perfect Storm meets Into The Wild meets Tony The Tiger meets Slumdog Millionaire meets any other movie about oceans, survival, tigers or Indian people.  Yep, it’s basically Gandhi meets Titanic meets Two Brothers.  Yep.  And while the movie tries to be all profound and stuff, it doesn’t really succeed, but man, that fcuking tiger, in that fcuking boat was so cool.  Oh, and Rafe Spall is in this movie, and his job is to basically listen to a story and make dumb faces, and that’s eggzactly what he does

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Pi r squares at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…