Tag Archives: The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2

Vampire Baseball Season Cancelled

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2
Yawns Will Never Be Brokens!!!!!!!!!
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 115 min

IT’S OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Spank god.  What a crap saga that there was.  Hope the girls really really really enjoyed it, cause everyone else with eyes and ears and any bit of sense knows that this was one giant waste of everything.  EVEN THE CREDITS WERE A WASTE OF CREDITS!!!!!!!!  How did I see every single one of these movies?  HOW!?!?!?!?  OK, we’ll admit that the first one was kinda fun, mainly cause there was…

VAMPIRE BASEBALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

but after Twilight 1, there was no more vampire baseball, and therefore no reason to care.  well, besides gawking at how hot Ashley & Jackson is were

we would rathBONE both of them, at the same time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  who wouldn’t?!????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????????!!!??!

oh, so what about Breaking Yawn 2?  There were like Russian communist vampires and Irish vampires with worser Irish accents than the president of the Irish Spring Soap Company LLC LTD.  There are also like Amazon vampires, and like Arab vampires, and they’ve come from all corners of the world to help Bella (why does everyone and their mother and their mother and their mother have to help her?  WHO CARES ABOUT BELLA!?!?!??!  IF YOU LET HER DIE EVERYTHING WOULD BE FINE!!!) and Edward’s daughter Renesmiameassance festival live and not die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Who wants her dead?  Oh, the Voltrons of Vatican Vampire City, who are led by Michael Sheen, who is so campy that he’s opening a summer camp of campy, but it’s nowhere near as campy or queer or awesomes as the summer campy camper van beethoven he brought in TRON 2

THIS JUST IN – TRON 2 WAS FCUKING AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this earth is so wrong that there’s like 9 Twilight movies and only 2 TRON movies!!!!!!!!!

Verdictgo: who cares, cause no vampire baseball = not worth rating

Twilight IS OVER, at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…


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