Ian Phlegming

Spectre
Bland, James Bland
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 148 min

spectre

I’m digging the origin digging going on in these Daniel Craig James Bond flicks.  Sadly, I’m not fully digging on all of the films.  With the 4 Craig flicks – it’s been GREAT! (Casino Royale), then BLAH! (Quantum of Whatever), then HECK YEAH! (Skyfall), and now – with Spectre – it’s like ZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

A total snoozefest!!!!!!!!!!

All I remember is like Bond driving a car in Rome or something, and seducing Monica Bellucci in all of 5 seconds and then she’s gone from the movie, and then Bond goes to some snowy place, and then he goes to another snowy place and then like wants to help Léa Seydoux cause she’s hot, and then they have to go to Tangiers or something and then there’s a mouse, and a hidden room, and then they go to the desert and cross paths with Christoph Waltz as a nehru jacketed doctor of evil [spoiler alert]

Christoph Waltz nehru jacket

and then?  I dunno – some kinda conclusion that’s not conclusive, or interesting

I like the rebooting of the Bond character – but it’s time to hit the reboot button again.  Maybe they should try to go ultra-cheesy and do a throwback to the Roger Moore days.  Why not even do a Bond period piece?  Or Bond as a ninja??  Everyone loves ninjas.  Or Bond orbiting Uranus????

Verdictgo: Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badger

Spectre is not so spectre-tacular at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Monica Bellucci

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Feels Like The First Time

I Want My ‘80s Concert
The Theater at Madison Square Garden
November 6th

May I interest you this?

i wantmy80s

too late – you already missed it!!

yep, you missed THE show of 2015, THE show of the 80s, and perhaps THE best show I’ve ever seen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

no, it wasn’t life-changing, like seeing Simon & Garfunkel was, but it was LIFE-BEYOND-AMAZINGNINGINGING!!!!!!!

we’re a culture of greatest hits, and not deep cuts, and who wants to see a full Flock of Seagulls concert, when you can hear them play juss ‘I Ran’ + their 2nd best song, and then get off stage so you can hear the next 80s act play their 2 or 3 best known tunes

this happened, and I lived to tell about it, but more importantly, I lived to ROCK OUT TO IT!!!

MTV VJ Martha Quinn MCed the whole thing – and hearing her voice was like hearing the voice of MTV’s Jesus’ Mary!!!!

Then on came Tiffany.  Can you guess what song she played????  

YEP!!  WE WERE NO LONGER ALONE!!!!!!!!

https://instagram.com/p/9xS-OXG3yT/

and then instead of playing another one of her other hits, she was like, I’m gonna play an 80s fav of her own…

SWEET CHILD O’ MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and then good ole raspy-voiced Tone Lōc comes out, and guess what he plays besides ‘Funky Cold Medina’?  

https://instagram.com/p/9xTK0vm3yn/

YEP!

and then THE GUY FROM FLOCK OF SEAGULLS PLAYED THAT 80s SONG WE ALL FLOCK TO!!!!

https://instagram.com/p/9xTc3fm3zA/

BOOOM – check hearing that live off of my music bucketlist!!!!!!!

and then Run-DMC came out and got tricky, and then was like, I don’t need Run or Jam Master Jay (RIP) or Aerosmith, cause I got Dee Snider in da house and we are going to

https://instagram.com/p/9xTre7G3zU/

WALK DIS WAY

TALK DIS WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Man, this thing muss slow down at some point, right?

NOPE!

On comes still sweet Debbie Gibson who makes dreams a reality!!!

https://instagram.com/p/9xT1rHG3zm/

wait, is this show gonna ever stop being awesomesss???

NOPE!

on comes Howard Jones – the dude with a forgettable name, but unforgettable music. YOU KNOW THESE TUNES!!!!

https://instagram.com/p/9xUQENG30P/

woah oh ooooh oh oh oooh oh oh!!!!!!!!!!!

and no, I wasn’t a big Twisted Sister guy.  they freaked me out man.  even their cameo in Pee Wee’s Big Adventure wigged me out, but there’s no denying they rock – HARD – and everyone WILL take it – even if the only sister in attendance was Dee Snider!!!

https://instagram.com/p/9xUeLFm30p/

MAN, THAT WAS MAD RAD!!!

and hey, how bout we throw Lou Gramm of Foreigner on stage to put a big ole cherry on top of this delicious bomb-ass cake?????????

https://instagram.com/p/9xU4s0G31P/

He wants to know what love is?  IT’S THE PEOPLE HEARING HIS AMAZING MUSICS AND SINGING IT RIGHT BACK AT HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dear lord was that some show.  How do you end something like that?  Well, you bring ALL of them folks back on stage (although Tone and DMC somehow skipped the end) and have them sing that Journey song everyone loves to sing together

https://instagram.com/p/9xVKrrm31o/

I MEAN WHERE ELSE YOU GONNA SEE DEE SNIDER SLIGHTLY STANDING IN THE WAY OF TIFFANY AND DEBBIE GIBSON ROCKING OUT MAD HARD YO??????????????

dee tiff deb

and who needs these people’s backing bands to back them up, when they rocked out with the greatest 80s cover band going…

Jessie’s Girl!!!!!!!!!!!!

jessie gierl

not sure how the show did $$$$-wise, but awesome-wise – it was BEYOND THUNDERDOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I pray they do another one of these, cause I need to hear ‘Don’t You (Forget About Me’) by Simple Minds + 1 more of their songs, and then have them get off the stage so I can hear A-ha ‘Take On Me’ + 1 more song and then make way for Young MC to quickly ‘Bust A Move’

Nostalgia never dies – as long as we don’t let it die

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Spectrefapping

every female that appears in a Bond movie is a Bond Girl, and so here be…

the Bond Girls of Spectre

Léa Seydoux

léa seydoux

Madeleine Swann

Monica Bellucci

Monica Bellucci
Lucia

Stephanie Sigman

Stephanie Sigman

Estrella

Adriana Paz

Adriana Paz

Mexican Woman in Lift

Brigitte Millar

Brigitte Millar

Vogel

Noemi Krausz

noemi krausz

Snowboarder #1

Marie Fee Wohlmuth

Marie Fee Wohlmuth

Snowboarder #6

Lili Epply

Lili Epply

Snowboarder #7

Lara Parmiani

Lara Parmiani

L’Americain Manager

Jill Buchanan

Jill Buchanan

London Business Woman 

Leila Elbahy

Leila Elbahy

Business Woman Passerby 

Neve Gachev

Neve Gachev

Clinic Patron

Yumiko Hanasaka

Yumiko Hanasaka

Whitehall Commuter

Rogers Leona

Rogers Leona
Business woman

Joanne Manchester

Joanne Manchester
Business Woman

Conny Sharp

Conny Sharp
Corpse Bride 

Ruolan Zhang

Ruolan Zhang
Clinic VIP Guest

Sid Man

sid man
Boss, Palazzo meeting

 

2 Comments

A Guy Named Dalton

Trumbo
The Brave One
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 124 min

trumbo

Dalton Trumbo had an awesome name, and an awesome mustache, but his life was far from awesome.  Yeah, the man won two Academy Awards for writing screenplays, but the first one he won – had another writer’s name attached to it instead of his, and his second one had to have a pseudonym on it cause he couldn’t work under his own name.  Ya see – Dalton Trumbo was an unabashed, overly outspoken communist living in America, who loved America – but he lived in a time where being red was scary to others, and so when the House Un-American Activities Committee came calling and wanted him to come name calling, he refused, and so he + 9 others became the Hollywood Ten – blacklisted from working in Hollywood, and living a normal life

Jay Roach‘s Trumbo tells (t)his story.  And (t)his story was actually already told, in doc form, back in 2007 with the eggsalad, and same named Trumbo.  I love docs so much, and would normally tell you that you MUSS see the doc before bothering with the movie (or not bother with the movie at all), but this movie is juss as good at telling the story – even if the movie itself feels like one of those biopic movies made for HBO – you know, a good movie, but nothing highly cinematic

But I had fun watching the mostly downs of Trumbo’s life, cause the cast was having such a hoot hooting along.  There was Helen Mirren being a bitch, Diane Lane being supportive, John Goodman being loud, Louis CK trying to act, Elle Fanning fanning the flames, Alan Tudyk tudyuking, and Michael Stuhlbarg playing Edward G. Robinson!!!  

And then there’s Bryan Cranston.  By the time Breaking Bad was winding down, I grew tired of Bryan Cranston.  This fatigue had less to do with him, and more juss to do with everyone not shutting up about Bryan Cranston, and so my opinion on him started to sour a bit.  I was like, enuff with the Bryan Cranston!!!!!!!!!  But after his trumboniously delicious work as the title character here, I have a full on trumboner for Bryan Cranston again.  And he’s sooooo good with that thick mustache (and smoking) that I think he should shave his head and play Rich Uncle Pennybags in a Monopoly movie!!!

monopoly man

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Trumbo trumbos tonight in NY/LA and elsewhere elsewhen

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

 

2 Comments
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