Tag Archives: Bond

Ian Phlegming

Bland, James Bland
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 148 min


I’m digging the origin digging going on in these Daniel Craig James Bond flicks.  Sadly, I’m not fully digging on all of the films.  With the 4 Craig flicks – it’s been GREAT! (Casino Royale), then BLAH! (Quantum of Whatever), then HECK YEAH! (Skyfall), and now – with Spectre – it’s like ZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

A total snoozefest!!!!!!!!!!

All I remember is like Bond driving a car in Rome or something, and seducing Monica Bellucci in all of 5 seconds and then she’s gone from the movie, and then Bond goes to some snowy place, and then he goes to another snowy place and then like wants to help Léa Seydoux cause she’s hot, and then they have to go to Tangiers or something and then there’s a mouse, and a hidden room, and then they go to the desert and cross paths with Christoph Waltz as a nehru jacketed doctor of evil [spoiler alert]

Christoph Waltz nehru jacket

and then?  I dunno – some kinda conclusion that’s not conclusive, or interesting

I like the rebooting of the Bond character – but it’s time to hit the reboot button again.  Maybe they should try to go ultra-cheesy and do a throwback to the Roger Moore days.  Why not even do a Bond period piece?  Or Bond as a ninja??  Everyone loves ninjas.  Or Bond orbiting Uranus????

Verdictgo: Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badger

Spectre is not so spectre-tacular at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Monica Bellucci


Never Say Fap Again

Domino Petachi

Kim Basinger

Fatima Blush

Barbara Carrera


Prunella Gee

Lady in Bahamas

Valerie Leon

Maximilian Largo

Klaus Maria Brandauer

Maximilian Largo’s Atari Arcade Casino

Double O snap, yo!


FapFauxsino Royale

Vesper Lynd/007

Ursula Andress

Miss Goodthighs

Jacqueline Bisset

The Detainer/007

Daliah Lavi

Agent Mimi/Lady Fiona McTarry

Deborah Kerr

Mata Bond

Joanna Pettet


Alexandra Bastedo


Barbara Bouchet

Dr Noah/Jimmy Bond

Woody Allen


Fapino Royale w/Cheese

Vesper Lynd

Eva Green


Caterina Murino


Ivana Milicevic

Hot Room Technician

Rebecca Gethings

Card Player #3

Diane Hartford

Ocean Club Receptionist

Christina Cole

French News Reporter

Félicité Du Jeu

Tennis Girl #2

Veronika Hladikova

Tennis Girl #1

Alessandra Ambrosio

James Fu%king Bond!!

Craig, Daniel Craig!!!

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