Star Trek Into Darkness
Boldly Going Where Man Has Gone Before
Official Website | Trailers & Mo | Homeade Trailer
PG-13 | 132 min

JJ Abrams has re-assembled the single greatestist tribute act known to man (wet dream team – Pine / Quinto / Urban / Saldana / Cho / Yelchin / Pegg) for a 2nd round of fun, and they do it OH so right again, even if all they’re doing is imitating what’s been done before, but with even more lens flares!!!  Star Trek Into Dorkness is not really about much, besides a scowlingly enraged Benedict Cumberbatch enraging his scowl and wreaking havoc cause the only thing that can stop Benedict Cumberbatch is Cenedict Bumberbatch, and since you know there aint no such thing as Cenedict Bumberbatch, you know that nothing can or EVER will stop the awesomeness that is Benedict Cumberbatch, cause his name is so much fun to say, and we will never stop saying his name (ever since he was a Fenella Woolgar Bestest Names Award winner of 2006!) Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch 

If only this movie was called Star Trek Into Cumberbatch!!

But there’s so much more to this movie besides Benedict Cumberbatch, like Peter Weller, who you know is gonna end up doing something assholey, and like Alice Eve, who you know is gonna show off her toothy teefy grin, and maybe eat a taco

But there’s so much more to Dorkness than juss Alice Eve maybe eating a taco – like how cockysure rawesome Pine as Kirk still is, and how eye-browsy sharp Quinto as Spock still is, and how to the bone we want to bone Urban as Bones still bonesies, and even though we pegged Pegg as maybe not the right choice to play Scotty, he has since beamed us up to changing our minds, and we still cho–cho-choose Cho as Sulu, and although Yelchin doesn’t have much to yel or chin about, he still roxxx the Ruskie accent shardcore in his minimal amount of screentime.  Kinda tossed about Saldana as Uhura.  She’s hot, and Uhuraish enuff, but why does she have to sweat Spock?  Why can’t she bone Bones?  Or me?  Or Alice Eve’s almost taco?

What am I saying?  I IS SAYING THAT IF YOU LOVES THESE PEOPLE AS NEW ERA STAR TREK PEOPLES THENS YOU WILL WANT TO WATCH THEM DO ANYTHING, like nap, or almost eat tacos, or fly in space, or be awesome amongst lens flares!!!!

JJ Abrams has done so much with the so little that the Star Trek universe had to offer him.  Imagine what he’s gonna do when he gets his spectacles sighted on a real spectacle franchise like Star Wars!  Actually Star Wars seems less like a real franchise these days than Star Trek does now.  WOAH!  I know!  But JJ will make mountonus molehills out of the dumphole that George Lucas left his own franchise stewing in.  And if JJ can’t get the Star Wars franchise back on target, maybe no one can, and then maybe he can take over the Farrell’s Ice Cream Parlour company and turn that franchise around and open a franchise in my stomach

Thank you JJ.  You made us believers of something we didn’t ever really even care about before.  Spock to the future, yours and ours!

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Trek is boldly but goody in thIghMAX today and at a theater near jews tomorrow

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict

Woody Allen is/in Bananas

photo dated May 9, 1971

[via ebay]

The Great Gatsby
Old Sport Done Anew.  Are You Game?
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 143 min

People be acting like they’ve never seen a Baz Luhrmann movie before, cause Baz Luhrmann Baz Luhrmanned the sh!t out of F Scott’s Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby.  Have a problem with the movie, well look no further than The Great Gatsby source material itself, cause it isn’t necessarily that great, at least when turned into a movie.  It has basically failed every time someone tried doing so.  And if you’ve ever seen the Robert Redford-Mia Farrow 1974 snooze-fest, you know that Gatsby needed a shot of adrenaline, and who better to deliver that shot than Bazzy Baz Luhrmann, who splashes in a hefty dose of pizzazz & confetti (I mean, check out that ’74 snoorer all Bazzzed up in this reduxed trailer ).  Fact – I love Baz Luhrmann.  Fact – I read Gatsby last year and really didn’t think much of it.  Fact – Baz made Gatsby eggzactly how I thought he would.  Fact – if you don’t like Baz Luhrmanned flicks you probably won’t like his Gatsby.  So if you hate things that are fun and awesome, and looks like the party of the year that you wish you could attend, WITH the soundtrack of the year, then don’t see Baz’ Great Gatsby

but that cast.  THAT CAST!!!

Leonardo DiCaprio is dashing, old sport, but like AO Scott said about his ‘overdone accent‘, I too ‘wish he would try a performance without one, though‘

Tobey Maguire is not an actor but a deer in headlights, always starring blankly ahead, with a wry smile, but his work is serviceable enuff as our humble narrator Nicky C

Carey Mulligan makes me want to mulligan all over myself again and mulligan and gan.  What Gatsby?  More like how many times did she make my weenie gaspy

Joel Edgerton has an edge to his rton, and an awesome mustache + he’s Owen Lars, and his dad Cliegg Lars is in the movie too (although never sharing a screen moment)!!!

Isla Fisher is barely in the movie, but her boobs jiggle enuff to keep her on our mindsz

Jason Clarke was in Zero Dark Thirty as the main black site interrogator, but in this movie he looks like he’s the one getting his a$$ handed to him.  This guy’s good

Amitabh Bachchan is a handsome Indian man

Elizabeth Debicki is a handsome Australian woman who reminds me of Cate Blanchett, in a more flappertastic/faptastic tastic way

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Gatsby is Baztastic in a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

bless you

Brother Brain

HOW IS THIS REALS!!?!??!?

–

one recurring nightmare I have involves being at a hotel overlooking a beach and seeing a wave like this coming towards the hotel.  I scareds