The Kid Incorporated

Wud up wit the whoreingness ways of The Kid, as seen in our logo? He’s not only the face of The American Undershirt (now d-funct), but apparently has been moonlighting as the poster child of evil incarnate over at Is he not satisfied with the life contract he signed with Thighs Wide LLC? Has he been consorting with superjerkagent Drew Rosenhaus? I even got em a date with Van Dame Dakota Fanning and this is the spanks he gives me? Look kid, like all the Ladies of Thighs, you too could get yer walking papers at any minute I’m drinking Minute Maid. So shape up or ship shup or shavel shnazle Shavlik Randolph. And that can mean only two things. One: INVASION. And Two: Paris Hilton is the 5th coming of HER ROYAL THIGHNES?#?!@#??@$ [via Alfie and Warwick Davis the III]

• CC the IV could not be reached for comment cause she was too busy appearing in fake NSFW photoshopness

• Ms Dunst and The NY Times are the latest to join the largest growing ultra gay ultra stencil font using political group: The Pink Party. Just don’t eggspect Andy Rooney to log on anytime soon… or to hang out with ‘negros’ either

• Gaius Julius Caesar loves fine women and wine, and offing Palestinian terrorists, with the help of his Hebraic buddies, the Hulk and 007… as seen in the FIRST Spielbergo Munich trailer

• Spiders have all the luck

• The skimpy black apron thingie kinda makes up for the overspraytannedness

• Lowell, the Sandman [via Pakula Shaker]

• Chances are it’s not going to be “up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, start.” …and at least it’s not Just Like Heaven: The RPG

• Why does my body jerk when I’m falling asleep?

• Why do I jerk off before I fall asleep?

• Free passes to Lord of the Rings Lite and Lame Ass Pseudo Graduate sequel

• Since I was wrong dead wrong about the odds I set last week, I’m going to go ahead and ruin the ending of Jarhead for ya: ‘Jesus Walks’ plays over the closing credits… review 4thcummin

• The Ali G NBA spots

• Speaking of…

• The Ultimate Movie Meal Menu

• Almost more eggciting than a game of Ironman Ivan Stewart’s Super Off Road

• Miss McDonald, E-I-E-I-OMG

• And in clothing, SCLAPPY PAPPYpapsmear BURSTDAY TO ME!! Give me gifts and maybe I’ll add you to my Guy Fawkes Day greeting card distribution list next year. If not, fork you and the horse you banged last weekend. Anywhozits, enjoy these here pics of Winnie Cooper in Leia Episode IV gear…

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