Sully
Winging It
Official Site | Trailer & Mo
PG-13 | 96 min

You know the story – a plane is in mad flying trouble and a mild-mannered pilot with an awesome white mustache lands the plane in the Hudson River with zero casualties.  IT’S THE MIRACLE ON THE HUDSON!!!  (like Moscow Over The Hudson, but less Russian, but in even more of a hurry).  But did you know our dear Captain was questioned after the fact by our government for how he saved lives????  Thanks for doing your job guy, now lets tell you how you did it wrong!!  And did you know that his co-pilot had an equally awesome MUSTache???????

What could have easily been a good Lifetime movie, is an even better Clint Eastwood film (and even better than the fictional downer Flight), even though the conclusion is no surprise, and there’s about 4 minutes of actual story… or so you might think.  Well, every story needs a bad guys, and ours are a bunch of bad white dude investigators from the NTSB.  DAMN YOU!!! YOU ARE EVEN WORSER THAN NKOTB!!!!!

Whatevs, our angel in the sky -  Chesley ‘Sully’ Sullenberger is a fcuking hero above many other fucking awesome heroes, and of course everything’s gonna be alright – CAUSE HOW COULD YOU CONDEMN A MAN WHO SAVED PEOPLE!?!?!??!?  AND DID WE MENTION HIS CO-PILOT (JEFF SKILES) AND HIS CO-AWESOMESZOZ MUSTACHIO???

I know you think it’s funny that Tom Hanks always gets himself into travel trouble in the movies that he’s in, and that we should never travel with him – but that’s the dumbest thing (and meme) I’ve ever heard.  What, you want to travel with handsome dudes like Brad Pitt or George Clooney?  Those dudes don’t stand a chance.  They’d drown cause they’d be too busy combing they’d hairs!!!  Tom Hanks is the captain – now AND forever.  Those other dudes are just pretty window dressing, or aisle dressing, or middle seat dressing, and they’d not really all that good at acting etiher.  It’s hard to sympathize with beauty.  I’m with everyman Hanks, thru thick or thin, staying afloat or sunk as the Cleveland Browns playoff chances.  Hanks for the memories Tom, now and forever.  Fly us to the moon, or to the bottom of the sea, and we’ll come and see it, no matter what your final disaster destination is

Verdictgo:  Breast In Show

Sully soars the unfriendly skies at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

forget changing the $20 bill, and change ALL bills to Money Pit bill$$$$$$$$$$$$!!!!

SO FCUKING MONEY!!!!!!!!!!

Peace The Forks Out

to

Frey Guy

&

Gruffy Loggia

&

The Stoned Temple Pilot

&

Lemmy

&

The Voice of
Disney’s Robin Hood

&

Schneider

 

+

Trapper John

Haskell Wexler

Vilmos Zsigmond

Dolph Schayes

Dave Henderson

Natalie Cole

the best Marchibroda ever!

Blowfly

the voice of Boba Fett

Ellsworth Kelly

a Mott the Hoopler

Lawrence Phillips

Ghostbusters Mayor

he was in Hitchock’s Rope – one of Hitch’s best movies!!!!

Bachelor Father daughter

that guy from All My Children

he North Faced the music

Céline Dion’s brother AND husband

Monte Irvin

hot pants mother

Last Survivor of 1906 San Francisco Earthquake!!!

Grizzly Adams!

his book became Munich

Bee Gees Manager

wrote first ep of Star Trek + 1/2 of Logan’s Run

Oscar Campaign Publicist dude

Phantasmer

Specials drummer

Motörhead drummer

Godfather casting director

inventor of the mini-skirt

Fletch’s editor

she sang songs

he played a uke in Shallow Hal

Paris brothel lady

Jonestown attack survivor

some old actress

he was served

Norman Mailer’s ex-wife who he stabbed!

Cha Cha

Meadowlark Lemon

Phi Slama Jama coach

Moore Dickie

Hot Rod Williams

a Butler bulldog

some Yankee

some Bullish guy

some American runner

some Soviet heavy

some boxer

that guy from The Lost Boys

the Williams in Williams-Sonoma

she made room for daddy

Mr Staples

some country singer

Bill Parcells mentor

from a specific hospital

mini American Horror Story-er

Mr Robot

un-yummy Berger

&

you’re up next!!!!!!!

Ken Beatrice

–

so long everyone

Bridge of Spies
Spies Like Them
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 141 min

Steven Spielberg knows history!  And how to turn histories into movies!!  And he knows how to direct Tom Hanks!!!  These things all come together (again) in the serviceably good enough Bridge of Spies, the duo’s fourth pairing, and probably the lesser of the four (Saving Private Ryan / Catch Me If You Can and yes, even less so than The Terminal, which is amazingly awesomely horribly cheesy awesome!!)

What do you know of Cold War spies?  Me, I knew the name  Francis Gary Powers (not to be confused with Gary US Bonds) and that he was in a U-2 spyplane, and there was an incident – it got shot down over the USSR, and boy he didn’t know how unlucky he was… to be back in the US, back in the US, back in the USSR!!!  Oh, and that the band U2 got their name from this plane!  Oh, and czech this – Bono’s daughter – Eve Hewson – is in the movie!!!!  It’s like U2 jr meets U-2 senior!!!

What I didn’t know is that we wanted to swap a Soviet spy caught in America (Rudolf Abel by way of chameleon Mark Rylance, who is also the best part of the movie) for FG Powers and that the trade couldn’t be administered directly by the US government, and so someone had to do it.  TOM HANKS!!!!  as James B Donovan!!!  HE DID IT!!!  Spoiler alert.  Ooops, history spoils everything, and to the victors go the spoils!!!  We won the Cold War!!  The trade of spies was like a tie, but Tom Hanks won our hearts!!!

Will you miss out if you skip out on this movie?  Probably not.  A nice 30 minute show on the incident should suffice.  + this is no Munich, which is the kinda history movies Señor Spielbergo should be making, instead of a warm and fuzzy cold war pic, or something wooden and predictable like Lincoln, which I forgot all about until I had write a review of Steven’s latest

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Spies Bridges the Cold War knowledge gap at a theater near jews tomorrow

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Mireille Darc and her a$$ crack as Christine

in 1972’s The Tall Blond Man with One Black Shoe 

&

Lori Singer and her a$$ crack as Maddy

in the remake, 1985’s The Man with One Red Shoe

& their men react…

Pierre Richard is speechless

and so is Tom Hanks

crack is NOT wack!!!

COME ON BABY LIGHT MY FIRE!!!!!!